Has anyone used a private detective?
Discussion
A bit down said:
After everything that has gone on, I have to say that this feels like the right outcome. I am sure there are many difficult days ahead but I will get through them.
I am glad that you feel that way. I truly believe that if you had "tried again" you would be in the same situation in a number of months at best, perhaps years if she did a better job of hiding it. I would even suggest that your mind would be messed up by constantly thinking about what she was up to and every little thing would make you think about what she did and question what she is doing, simply because she lied even to your counsellor.
I don't agree that you have failed, quite to the contrary, I think you have done the right thing and that is never wrong. Moreso, you have done the right thing with honour and dignity, and even though you have been wronged, you have no desire to ruin her, your only concern is your children. That is not the mark of a failure.
So, I wish you all the best in your future which I believe will be better for you.
Well I think we all guessed that is how it would turn out, but it's still sad to see another marriage turn into a statistic.
But it seems as if thus far it's going as well as can be hoped. I wish you the best in the future ABD.
Just try to think that this isn't an ending, it's the start of the rest of your life.
ABD v2.0
But it seems as if thus far it's going as well as can be hoped. I wish you the best in the future ABD.
Just try to think that this isn't an ending, it's the start of the rest of your life.
ABD v2.0
Sorry things didn't work out ABD, but this is a chance for you to build a life with someone who will make you happy, rather than going through the motions for the sake of the kids.
At least you noticed that she only wanted to fix things because she feared for the future. Trying to repair a marriage after something like this is a very difficult prospect and needs the buy in from both parties. Had you taken this route, it would have led to a long drawn out and despressing conclusion. Thankfully, you've avoided that.
If possible, try and wind back from work a bit. Spend time making some changes to your life, try new hobbies, socialise more.
Good luck in the future OP.
At least you noticed that she only wanted to fix things because she feared for the future. Trying to repair a marriage after something like this is a very difficult prospect and needs the buy in from both parties. Had you taken this route, it would have led to a long drawn out and despressing conclusion. Thankfully, you've avoided that.
If possible, try and wind back from work a bit. Spend time making some changes to your life, try new hobbies, socialise more.
Good luck in the future OP.
ABD, I'm actually glad you have got to this point so quickly. To be fair to your missus she has at least been honest about how she feels about you and honest enough to express those feeling in terms for you to know there is no chance of re-kindling whatever it was that made you marry each other in the first place.
Next is the fun and games of splitting!
No matter how nice and amicable you both try to keep it, it will descend into a fight over money as she realises the tap is about to be turned off. If you both decide to try the amicable route, go search your local area for "collaborative" lawyers. This will save you a lot of time and money and most of the issues that end up in lawyers letters back and forth will be resolved in a series of a few face to face four way meetings between you, her and your 2 solicitors. The agreement you reach will then be rubber stamped by a court.
P.S. Could be worse. I was talking to a friend yesterday who said another friend of his had recently found out his wife was expecting her second child. Not the husband's second mind, her second! Seems she went back to Poland for a holiday and returned pregnant. Her genuine explanation was that she'd had IVF whilst there because it was taking a while for them to concieve their second! LOL
Next is the fun and games of splitting!
No matter how nice and amicable you both try to keep it, it will descend into a fight over money as she realises the tap is about to be turned off. If you both decide to try the amicable route, go search your local area for "collaborative" lawyers. This will save you a lot of time and money and most of the issues that end up in lawyers letters back and forth will be resolved in a series of a few face to face four way meetings between you, her and your 2 solicitors. The agreement you reach will then be rubber stamped by a court.P.S. Could be worse. I was talking to a friend yesterday who said another friend of his had recently found out his wife was expecting her second child. Not the husband's second mind, her second! Seems she went back to Poland for a holiday and returned pregnant. Her genuine explanation was that she'd had IVF whilst there because it was taking a while for them to concieve their second! LOL
Piersman2 said:
If you both decide to try the amicable route, go search your local area for "collaborative" lawyers. This will save you a lot of time and money and most of the issues that end up in lawyers letters back and forth will be resolved in a series of a few face to face four way meetings between you, her and your 2 solicitors. The agreement you reach will then be rubber stamped by a court.
Fully agree, our lady here does this and it saves so much time, money and you get decisions on points in minutes, not months.
Piersman2 said:
P.S. Could be worse. I was talking to a friend yesterday who said another friend of his had recently found out his wife was expecting her second child. Not the husband's second mind, her second! Seems she went back to Poland for a holiday and returned pregnant. Her genuine explanation was that she'd had IVF whilst there because it was taking a while for them to concieve their second! LOL
Bet he believed her too! 
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