Match.com (Volume 6)

[Echo66]

Tbf to the OP i think he did say earlier in the thread that she'd bubbled to having a kid once the chit chat had got going, so being hesitant in that situ is fair enough. Been there done that myself.

On the dating women with kids, if you know for sure you don't want to then absolutely filter out those with. If you're not sure though, give it a chance. I dated a few women with kids, some i'd have had no problem continuing if there hadn't been other issues. Only a cpl where i thought the kids were little s & decided to bail.

[Blown2CV]

Echo66 said:

Tbf to the OP i think he did say earlier in the thread that she'd bubbled to having a kid once the chit chat had got going, so being hesitant in that situ is fair enough. Been there done that myself.

On the dating women with kids, if you know for sure you don't want to then absolutely filter out those with. If you're not sure though, give it a chance. I dated a few women with kids, some i'd have had no problem continuing if there hadn't been other issues. Only a cpl where i thought the kids were little s & decided to bail.

I disagree. At 27 you absolutely do want to filter out those with kids. The pool of women with no kids yet is big enough that there is no need to relax that rule until you are over 35, I'd say. There is just no need to get into that situation if you don't need to, and the idea that she might somehow be 'the one' and you might be missing out (or indeed the whole concept of 'the one', full stop) is bks.

[Gretchen]

Shore said:

Cneci said:

Well she's unmatched

Thanks for the advice though everyone!

How do you feel now that you's have unmatched ? It's a shame she lacked responsibility at a younger age and is stuck with a wee kiddie. I feel sorry for these girls.

Perhaps she phoned a friend for advice. Or posted on a public Internet forum.


My 16 year old is still with his girlfriend. Two years in November. He is now the oracle for advice for his friends. Right now he's taken a call of just such. I've overheard the following

"It does sound like the conversation has gone a little stale... Well not every message warrants a reply... hmm, that's a bit manipulative of her to be honest..."

I said to his brother how funny his mates all phone him for relationship advice. My youngest replied "well they're hardly going to ask you are they"

Goes back to stroking one of my five cats

[CaptainSlow]

Gretchen said:

Perhaps she phoned a friend for advice. Or posted on a public Internet forum.


My 16 year old is still with his girlfriend. Two years in November. He is now the oracle for advice for his friends. Right now he's taken a call of just such. I've overheard the following

"It does sound like the conversation has gone a little stale... Well not every message warrants a reply... hmm, that's a bit manipulative of her to be honest..."

I said to his brother how funny his mates all phone him for relationship advice. My youngest replied "well they're hardly going to ask you are they"

Goes back to stroking one of my five cats

Are you single or still loved-up?

[Noodle1982]

Echo66 said:

On the dating women with kids, if you know for sure you don't want to then absolutely filter out those with.

Many moons ago when i had a POF account i included in my bio that i didnt want children of my own and won't date anyone already with children. I had a surprising amount of messages from girls with a similar attitude but fk me the messages i got off single mother's was verging on mental.....no, scrap that, they were full on mental. The abuse i had was ridiculous simply for stating what my preferences were.

As for the single mother unmatching you. She may just have deleted her account.

[johnwilliams77]

Noodle1982 said:

Many moons ago when i had a POF account i included in my bio that i didnt want children of my own and won't date anyone already with children. I had a surprising amount of messages from girls with a similar attitude but fk me the messages i got off single mother's was verging on mental.....no, scrap that, they were full on mental. The abuse i had was ridiculous simply for stating what my preferences were.

As for the single mother unmatching you. She may just have deleted her account.

They're probably jealous and unhappy

[Shore]

Ahh were my comments a bit much ? I just offered the op advice with added banter. I'd never turn round to a single mother and tell her she should of kept her legs closed. It would be very harsh and quite evil.

[lord trumpton]

I dated a girl with a child years ago - like 20 years ago.

I couldn't really cope with it to be honest, at the time I was in my early 20's.

Being that age I had little sense of the responsibility that a child brings and the total devotion to the child by the mother. Where I wanted to go out for meals, have spontaneous outings and perhaps go away for the weekend I didn't appreciate the restrictions.

Another consideration that I don't think is mentioned in this thread is that there is the likelihood you will also have to accept her ex being part of the relationship too. He will obviously be part of the child's life and therefore part of yours. Not too bad if he's a decent chap but a major issue if he's a bellend.

I'm now married with 3 children (my own lol) and can totally appreciate any single mother and their devotion to their child.

[johnwilliams77]

lord trumpton said:

I

Another consideration that I don't think is mentioned in this thread is that there is the likelihood you will also have to accept her ex being part of the relationship too. He will obviously be part of the child's life and therefore part of yours. Not too bad if he's a decent chap but a major issue if he's a bellend.
.

Even if he is decent I would not want the constant reminder of a guy who has filled your missus.

[Shore]

andy-xr said:

It's to be honest, some of the lowest level posting I've seen these last couple of pages. No doubt many of the posters will justify it somehow with comments ranging from 'well, she's clearly a slag' through to 'god, you just dont get my humour'

When you have to explain it, it's not funny.

There's a difference between stating concerns and opinions and just being a bit of a wker. Seems some cant help themselves.

Thanks for sharing that with us. What exactly does that contribute to the thread ? Note to self -don't feed troll.

[Saleen836]

I met a lady last night I had been chatting with on Tinder, when she turned up she didn't have a massive long tongue or big dog ears, I felt proper catfished!

[Plate spinner]

Well, to add some balance to the thread, I think my preference will be to only date women who do have children.

[oilbethere]

Plate spinner said:

Well, to add some balance to the thread, I think my preference will be to only date women who do have children.

I'm getting a word....

[Pebbles167]

Unless you really dont like kids, go for it, see what happens. Just be honest with the girl. Tell her you like her, but this is all new to you so you just need to adjust to it.

My ex wifes boyfriend doesn't have kids, and he's been with her a fair while. My 6 year old daughter gets on well with him and he's a decent enough guy. Just make sure you tell the girl you'd at least like some time for you both. I dated a girl once who had two sons who didn't see their dad a lot. That I could cope with, but they were little buggers, and that she was too lax with them (no discipline when misbehaving, midnight bedtimes pretty much every night). I just didn't think it was going anywhere so broke it off.

Go in with your eyes open and assess it as you go.

[Plate spinner]

oilbethere said:

Plate spinner said:

Well, to add some balance to the thread, I think my preference will be to only date women who do have children.

I'm getting a word....

Steady now...

I've got kids myself and I don't want to start another family.
So it seems the most compatible fit.

[Shnozz]

Pebbles167 said:

Unless you really dont like kids, go for it, see what happens.

Is it that simple though?

For me, a child from the off in a relationship would curtail 50% (or more) of the things I would want to enjoy doing, certainly in the early days. Sporadic weeks away in the sun, walking up mountains to take in the views, heading out in my 2 seat car, nights wining and dining at nice restaurants in town followed by drinks.

My life is not currently child friendly. Live in an apartment, drive a 2 seat car, spend most nights in bars and restaurants, spend a week or so a month in sunny climates, take off at the drop of a hat etc etc. Probably not too dissimilar from many city living singles in fact. If I were to date a single mother, almost every facet would be incompatible and it can only me that changes towards them rather than the other way around.

It's not to say I wouldn't ultimately adopt my life gradually towards a more family orientated one, but I sure as hell wouldn't flex it for the sake of fitting more into line with someone who I was just casually seeing. No judgments on the single mothers at all, simply that my lifestyle would be entirely incompatible and I can imagine that applies to many people.

[Vroom101]

johnwilliams77 said:

lord trumpton said:

I

Another consideration that I don't think is mentioned in this thread is that there is the likelihood you will also have to accept her ex being part of the relationship too. He will obviously be part of the child's life and therefore part of yours. Not too bad if he's a decent chap but a major issue if he's a bellend.
.

Even if he is decent I would not want the constant reminder of a guy who has filled your missus.

Whereas you yourself are a constant reminder that your dad filled your mum

Other people will have had sex with someone before you did - shock, horror! Get over it. If the ex is a bellend, then deal with it or bail out, but dismissing a potential relationship (or quick fling) on the basis the ex might be a nightmare is pretty shortsighted.

I'm happily married with a couple of kids, but if I were in that situation, then the behaviour of the kid and how the woman brings them up would have much more of a influence than any ex-partner.

[johnwilliams77]

Vroom101 said:

Whereas you yourself are a constant reminder that your dad filled your mum

Other people will have had sex with someone before you did - shock, horror! Get over it. If the ex is a bellend, then deal with it or bail out, but dismissing a potential relationship (or quick fling) on the basis the ex might be a nightmare is pretty shortsighted.

I'm happily married with a couple of kids, but if I were in that situation, then the behaviour of the kid and how the woman brings them up would have much more of a influence than any ex-partner.

Thanks Albert, would rather not have the person in my life, though.

[Mr Roper]

Any humorous dating stories?

There used to be some right corkers.

[mjb1]

Plate spinner said:

Steady now...

I've got kids myself and I don't want to start another family.
So it seems the most compatible fit.

This, and there a definite advantages to dating a woman with kids already:

a) she's far less likely to be a bunny boiler,
b) she's far more likely to have her own independence/be less clingy,
c) a fair proportion of her time will be dedicated to her kids, so you get to down your own thing without being nagged,
d) she's less likely to be a party animal/going out getting wasted/shagging around behind your back.

I get that if you don't have kids of your own, getting involved with someone who does seems like a daunting prospect. But most single mothers are not looking for an instant father figure for their kids, more just adult company when they have time away from them.