Match.com (Volume 6)

Match.com (Volume 6)

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D1bram

1,500 posts

170 months

Monday 9th October 2017
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L555BAT said:
Is there any way to turn this around?
What sort of things are you into? You mention running 10k, something you fancy getting more involved in?

I'm a runner, not a very good one really but I do run and I'm actively involved in a couple of clubs and the whole running scene. My last couple of girlfriends have been met through running and as an added bonus have a fantastic social life on the back of running.

Like I say, I'm far from an elite athlete, nor for that matter am I Brad Clooney, but I've never struggled with finding women to flirt with or date.

Maybe join a club? A couple of facebook running groups? There are a lot of single runner girls out there and I know loads of couples who met through running.

Just be carefully getting involved with anyone at your own club... I keep making that mistake!!!


cootuk said:
I found Badoo to be quite entertaining in a "I'm not that sort of girl, but, if we do, you have to be out by 3pm cos my kids come home from school" sort of way.


She's still on Badoo now.

Edited by cootuk on Friday 6th October 22:48
Yep... I made the correct decision deleting it!!

moanthebairns

17,918 posts

197 months

Monday 9th October 2017
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Pebbles167 said:
moanthebairns said:
Are you funny or even remotely funny? More importantly can you make women laugh? Looks do matter there has to be some attraction, money and independence helps you to do stuff with a woman you wish to date but in some cases could be a negative. These can be overlooked generally, however your fked if you can't make a woman laugh or at least hold a decent conversation with them.
Decent summary here. If you can't do it, learn.
You don't have to suddenly become the next Billy Connolly or even go to classes.

But look at it this way, your 30, unless your a total plum you should have an arsenal of remotely funny "pub like" stories about nearly every topic going. Difference is the lass on the phone or sat across from you hasn't heard these before. Learn to wrap the story up if its not going as planned but when she tells you to stop because her face hurts you've cracked it.


Condi

17,089 posts

170 months

Monday 9th October 2017
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Another slightly left field suggestion from an actress I know would be to try inprov classes. She swears by them and quite a lot of people apparently use them in all walks of life. It teaches you to think on your feet, not just in dating but work and other social situations.

JuniorD

8,616 posts

222 months

Monday 9th October 2017
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L555BAT said:
Is there any way to turn this around?
Change all your profile pictures to ones where you holding a puppy.

This will yield responses.

Echo66

384 posts

188 months

Monday 9th October 2017
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I agree with what was posted before, you've got be utterly useless with putting a decent profile together & have a face like the inside of a st smugglers duffle bag to not be able to have plenty of fun online. Did it for a fair few years & never had to chase, plenty of rich pickings out there for fun or for something more serious - from the cheap sites to the more expensive subs ones. The worst i ever used was eharmony which was utter bonk & a rip off. Best were match & POF. Epic fun to be had.
There is something wrong with someone if they fail to get pretty regular (every couple of weeks) dates with different women.

Cold

15,207 posts

89 months

Monday 9th October 2017
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Echo66 said:
I agree with what was posted before, you've got be utterly useless with putting a decent profile together & have a face like the inside of a st smugglers duffle bag to not be able to have plenty of fun online. Did it for a fair few years & never had to chase, plenty of rich pickings out there for fun or for something more serious - from the cheap sites to the more expensive subs ones. The worst i ever used was eharmony which was utter bonk & a rip off. Best were match & POF. Epic fun to be had.
There is something wrong with someone if they fail to get pretty regular (every couple of weeks) dates with different women.
Maybe some just have higher standards than you?

alorotom

11,908 posts

186 months

Monday 9th October 2017
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Cold said:
Maybe some just have higher standards than you?
Actually LOLd at that ... not sure if I was meant to though haha

shirt

22,508 posts

200 months

Monday 9th October 2017
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To have standards implies you're getting interest from women. This is clearly not the case.


designforlife

3,734 posts

162 months

Monday 9th October 2017
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In terms of a way to meet women, i highly rate snowboarding and wakeboarding.

I've been snowboarding about 15 years, and a lot of my relationships and hookups have been through snowboarding, and meeting girls either at artificial slopes, on trips, or through related facebook groups.

It's dead easy to get chatting to girls when you have a mutual hobby, and it's pretty fun having that in common (although far from essential, my current gf has never snowboarded).

i'm sure this could carry over to any number of other hobbies, and tbh it's pretty great having something to fill the time and be passionate about when you are single, i've also made a load of good like minded friends over the years through riding.

I currently know 4 or 5 couples who met each other through a specific snowboarding social group, 2 sets of those are engaged.

just a thought.

Edited by designforlife on Monday 9th October 17:05

anonymous-user

53 months

Monday 9th October 2017
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Shore said:
All I want is a woman who knows her duties. Women seem to be getting further and further away from the kitchen. There doesn't seem to be any discipline these days.
It's not even a half decent effort. Neither subtlety nor humour. Not even a vulgar chortle in there

Why bother trolling if you are so st at it?

Condi

17,089 posts

170 months

Monday 9th October 2017
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Shore said:
All I want is a woman who knows her duties. Women seem to be getting further and further away from the kitchen. There doesn't seem to be any discipline these days.
fk that, I want a women who earns enough money that we can both go out to eat, employ a cleaner and gardener.


As someone else said, poor effort.

Shore

412 posts

87 months

Monday 9th October 2017
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desolate said:
It's not even a half decent effort. Neither subtlety nor humour. Not even a vulgar chortle in there

Why bother trolling if you are so st at it?
Okay fk off young man. I'm not trolling I'm taking part in the thread. If you don't like then don't read what I post.

anonymous-user

53 months

Monday 9th October 2017
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Shore said:
Okay fk off young man. I'm not trolling I'm taking part in the thread. If you don't like then don't read what I post.
bks.

You are a dhead.

johnwilliams77

8,308 posts

102 months

Monday 9th October 2017
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desolate said:
bks.

You are a dhead.
This. I wish he would f off.

Pebbles167

3,417 posts

151 months

Monday 9th October 2017
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PH - Misogyny matters.

Oh? It doesn't? Someone better tell Shore.

ChocolateFrog

24,852 posts

172 months

Monday 9th October 2017
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I don't mind a bit of dark or low brow humour from time to time but your comments are just incredibly cringe-worthy and make you come across as a complete belter.

Thankfully for women they have a lot more choice these days.

CaptainSlow

13,179 posts

211 months

Monday 9th October 2017
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designforlife said:
In terms of a way to meet women, i highly rate snowboarding and wakeboarding.
Anyone else read that as waterboarding? Hmmm...was thinking it might be a good idea.

Pebbles167

3,417 posts

151 months

Monday 9th October 2017
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CaptainSlow said:
designforlife said:
In terms of a way to meet women, i highly rate snowboarding and wakeboarding.
Anyone else read that as waterboarding? Hmmm...was thinking it might be a good idea.
Well it makes special forces and spies talk. It'll probably work for Shore when he wants his reluctant future girlfriend to iron his trousers.

Shore

412 posts

87 months

Monday 9th October 2017
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Stephen Wall behave yourself you wild stallion. If you don't like my posts block me or don't read them. You just can't help yourself. Play nicely young man.

Edited by Shore on Monday 9th October 21:01

L555BAT

1,427 posts

209 months

Monday 9th October 2017
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Pebbles167 said:
Jeez, you're 30. Don't lose all hope, you're still young!

I know you don't feel like there is anyone interested in you, but there will be. Which means you're either messaging the wrong people, or giving a poor impression of yourself in chat.

I can't give you a definitive answer, and I see you've made a decent effort with your pictures etc. But I'll try help with the other stuff.

Since you're 30, it's a fair bet most (but not all) women are going to have children. Unless this is a big red flag, roll with it and assess it as you go. Despite what many say, most mothers don't just want some guy to come along and give them cash and look after their kids. They want someone who they can connect with for themselves and have an adult relationship with. Don't discount single mums.

Don't be scared to message people who maybe don't sound like your ideal type, after all, not everyone is good at expressing themselves in a profile. Sure it might turn out they are exactly as they seem on their profile and are not for you. But in my experience it turned out the slightly odd sounding date surprised me with their intelligence or humour and it turned out to be a lot of fun.

You say you messaged 'unattractive' girls, whilst stating that you yourself are not attractive. Without trying to sound condescending, are you setting your standards too high? Attractiveness is, after all, largely in the eye of the beholder. I'm not saying go for girls that you absolutely don't like the look of, but give the girls that are obviously not models a chance. Big nose? Workable. Size 14 waistline? Who cares. You'll soon forget these minor things if you click on a date.

Finally, your speech. What's funny or witty to you might come across as arrogance to others and be a complete turn off. This goes for both your profile and chat. There's no single way of getting it right, but being funny and reasonably open is a good start. Droning on is a big no no. You want to get a girls interest and get a date, you're not trying to find your soul mate instantly, that can come later. Long overly deep conversation will scare anyone off. If you're unsure, google how to date online, and you'll find some useful advice. Being yourself is important for sure, but there is nothing wrong with adopting a slightly more cheeky or outgoing persona in the interests of bagging a date.

Don't give up mate. You'll be ok in the end.
Cheers. Hope this doesn't sound like a rebuke but...

It's hard not to lose hope after such a long time. At 30, someone has been date-able for over 10 years. It's not that old, but I'm way out of the game and quickly becoming too old for mid to late 20s women. There has to be something, which makes me fail while others succeed.

I find it hard to believe that anyone is interested. I've messaged so many over the years that should include hundreds of right people, and I'm not even getting on to the chat where I could make a poor impression.

There's no way I'll ever consider single mums. I know there will be lots of good ones out there, but I can't deal with it what with a kid and their dad being involved and I'm not that desperate or willing to dent my reputation.

I haven't been scared to message anyone, sometimes just to see if they might reply with no intention of taking it anywhere. I have standards but I haven't applied them when sending messages sometimes. Ages 20 to 40. Fat, with kids, chavs, ugly, disabled, unemployed, can't spell, obviously mental - I've messaged all of them.

I can make women laugh no problem, easier to do that in person than online. I've read loads of advice and asked for profile review on POF, and applied it.

Plate spinner said:
Maybe just stop trying to find someone for a while. Focus on other areas in life that give you positivity.

You may find someone when you're not looking. Or just come back to it later on down the line.

Finding someone to be in a relationship isn't the be all and end all to a happy life. Plenty of happily single people out there enjoying the benefits of not being in a relationship.
I do stop every few months, just get to a point where I want to give up, dive into other things and work. Have tried all that stop-looking stuff.

Agree about relationship, I may well not need that. But it'd be nice to at least have a date every now and again.

PAUL500 said:
Net dating has become a commercial cash cow now, its not in the interest of the owners of these sites for the vast majority of users to find anyone, they make money from people having a dabble, getting fed up, then returning months later as there are no alternatives.
That's me!

ChocolateFrog said:
My advice would be to try and find some more gender neutral hobbies or interests but without the explicit aim of bedding one of them and see what happens.
Yes I should put some effort into that. I wouldn't want to pretend to be interested in some rubbish just to meet people, I'm probably not good enough of an actor to pull that off either.

Driver101 said:
Rather than putting so much effort into all your dating sites and profiles why not try getting out and about?

Won't women on the sites notice you constantly editing and changing yoir profile and getting the impression something isn't right?
I should try that more.

With so many other men online, I don't expect they notice the odd tweak every few weeks.

Condi said:
<snip>
The bloke who was complaining about his lack of success online - you are aware there are women offline too?? Like real ones, in cafes, bars, nightclubs, social societies, gyms etc all up and down the country, why not try meeting them there?
Probably creepy to approach women in cafes (unless they like you, then it's considered confident). Bars, night clubs are pretty hard with all their friends around and it's hard to have a conversation - also being short doesn't help here. Social societies, not tried one of those since uni. I used to gym, I compare very badly to the other guys in there so never bothered trying.

moanthebairns said:
<snip>

What are you sending in your first message? He told me some of the st he was sending, he tried personal first messages, hey hows you right up to rambling on like a fking melon.

Are you funny or even remotely funny? More importantly can you make women laugh? Looks do matter there has to be some attraction, money and independence helps you to do stuff with a woman you wish to date but in some cases could be a negative. These can be overlooked generally, however your fked if you can't make a woman laugh or at least hold a decent conversation with them.
Always send something about their profile, try to notice something, and include a question so she has an easy way to reply.

I can make them laugh and have a conversation no problem, but getting to that stage is the problem and somehow I seem to be scaring them off even when I think a date's gone well.

D1bram said:
What sort of things are you into? You mention running 10k, something you fancy getting more involved in?

I'm a runner, not a very good one really but I do run and I'm actively involved in a couple of clubs and the whole running scene. My last couple of girlfriends have been met through running and as an added bonus have a fantastic social life on the back of running.

Like I say, I'm far from an elite athlete, nor for that matter am I Brad Clooney, but I've never struggled with finding women to flirt with or date.

Maybe join a club? A couple of facebook running groups? There are a lot of single runner girls out there and I know loads of couples who met through running.

Just be carefully getting involved with anyone at your own club... I keep making that mistake!!!
I don't really enjoy the running, just do it to keep fit and not become fat. If I turn up somewhere where there are runners, I'm not going to impress anyone.

Echo66 said:
I agree with what was posted before, you've got be utterly useless with putting a decent profile together & have a face like the inside of a st smugglers duffle bag to not be able to have plenty of fun online. Did it for a fair few years & never had to chase, plenty of rich pickings out there for fun or for something more serious - from the cheap sites to the more expensive subs ones. The worst i ever used was eharmony which was utter bonk & a rip off. Best were match & POF. Epic fun to be had.
There is something wrong with someone if they fail to get pretty regular (every couple of weeks) dates with different women.
There may well be something wrong with me, I do often think. Something I don't notice. Online, can't see it being anything other than the way I look. Nobody has said anything.


Next step looks like it should be find some interest group then.
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