Match.com (Volume 6)
Discussion
feef said:
Charlie1986 said:
Both POF and Match seem hard this month not a lot of interaction. Either I need a refresh or my skills are withering
Everything seems to be quiet this month. Down on retail footfall and website usage too. I suspect folk are away on holiday Blown2CV said:
anonymous said:
[redacted]
if that was the case then you really, REALLY need to think carefully about your profile and your message content. Pebbles167 said:
Agreed. But it partly depends how wide your search is. I have mine set at 10 miles and tend to get 1 reply for every 3-5 messages I send, and receive a first message once every few days. I've found this becomes more or less often as I widen or shorten the search respectively.
I think that also varies massively depending on where you are. If your radius covers a big city then you stand more chance, if not then it goes down. I got the feeling the women were less willing to travel than men (or maybe just didn't have cars). I got far fewer genuine first messages than that and a response rate in between those extremes. Mind you on Bumble the number of women that don't seem to realise they have to send the first message is quite high....mcdjl said:
I think that also varies massively depending on where you are. If your radius covers a big city then you stand more chance, if not then it goes down. I got the feeling the women were less willing to travel than men (or maybe just didn't have cars). I got far fewer genuine first messages than that and a response rate in between those extremes. Mind you on Bumble the number of women that don't seem to realise they have to send the first message is quite high....
True. 10 miles for me covers my Local countryside towns and Bath. 20 miles covers Bristol too. I get more attention when I up it, but in honesty I can't be doing with having yo travel much more than 5 miles as I'd not relocate and have a daughter in my home town. Luckily there are plenty of women here. Blown2CV said:
surely your search criteria only dictates who you are shown, not whether you get any responses to messages you send?
Absolutely. But if you up the search radius, you view more profiles and they can see this. Also stops your profile becoming stale to a small group of locals who also have a small search area. If the girls who I view in Bristol like the look of me they tend to send a message, whereas he girls in the local area must either know me or be bored by my profile. Something like that anyway.On an interesting note, I once set my tinder search for men and women, and at least half, maybe more of the messages were from guys. Perhaps men are less shy/have lower standards?
I think with POF the message recipient most of the time doesn't even bother reading/looking at the message sender's profile, photos are attached to the message automatically so whoever you message just judges a book by it's cover, that and the message has to catch their attention, a lot of women also don't want/can't be bothered to drive for more than 10-15mins and surprisingly a lot of them can't drive or even own a car.
I've found that in often in conversation, things that I bring up that were on my profile they have no idea about, ie: daughter, job, etc. Not always, but often.
I've always read a girls profile once I receive a message back, although rarely before, where I message them based purely on a picture. That said, unless there are serious red flags on a profile, I'll not make a judgement based on what they have written on their bio. I let it come out during conversation and see how I feel then.
I've always read a girls profile once I receive a message back, although rarely before, where I message them based purely on a picture. That said, unless there are serious red flags on a profile, I'll not make a judgement based on what they have written on their bio. I let it come out during conversation and see how I feel then.
anonymous said:
[redacted]
What’s comedy gold, I have found, is that they usually have an opening statement such as:“any decent men on here?”
Or “Giving this one last try...no dick pics”
or “Kind of given up on finding the one but I can live in hope ;-)“
Edited by Jayzee on Monday 20th August 19:22
Every single bloke I know who has success on POF or Match, has even more success in real life. I don’t know why they bother, bigger pond to fish in? It’s now the same for me as well.
I think women get so many messages from blokes on these sites; they begin to believe they are a far better catch than they really are. There are a lot of unicorn hunters out there.
As for 30-40 messages without success, I think you may need to rejig your profile words.
I think women get so many messages from blokes on these sites; they begin to believe they are a far better catch than they really are. There are a lot of unicorn hunters out there.
As for 30-40 messages without success, I think you may need to rejig your profile words.
anonymous said:
[redacted]
Firstly, well done for having the bottle to post your profile.You come across as a nice guy, which in the internet dating world is a problem.
You need to be a lean, mean, sex machine.
Lose the info about your hobbies, they are boring (strangely, we have the same hobbies and we're the same age).
Lose the photo with the gay couple..and the other two. The one in front of the plane isn't a good look in your shorts.
You need new photos with you looking better and doing better things.
anonymous said:
[redacted]
On the other-hand, I think your profile is fine, it shows you as you are.Depends on what you are after though - If you are looking for a serious partner who is similar to you, then keep with it. If looking to bang birds then change it as per comments earlier.
Ditch any references to classic cars.
Taking the controls of a light aircraft wasn't one of the highlights of your year, you regularly visit Cornwall to continue with your flying lessons.
You don't like experiencing new things, you're a fan of extreme sports that include parasailing and scuba diving.
Also, perception is key...the gay couple are gay.
Taking the controls of a light aircraft wasn't one of the highlights of your year, you regularly visit Cornwall to continue with your flying lessons.
You don't like experiencing new things, you're a fan of extreme sports that include parasailing and scuba diving.
Also, perception is key...the gay couple are gay.
CaptainSlow said:
Ditch any references to classic cars.
Taking the controls of a light aircraft wasn't one of the highlights of your year, you regularly visit Cornwall to continue with your flying lessons.
You don't like experiencing new things, you're a fan of extreme sports that include parasailing and scuba diving.
Also, perception is key...the gay couple are gay.
Probably this. Taking the controls of a light aircraft wasn't one of the highlights of your year, you regularly visit Cornwall to continue with your flying lessons.
You don't like experiencing new things, you're a fan of extreme sports that include parasailing and scuba diving.
Also, perception is key...the gay couple are gay.
Although what’s your interest in classic cars? Racing, restoring, owning?
anonymous said:
[redacted]
Definitely this. It’s the first line of your profile. Doesn’t make you sound like a catch. 10+ years. Her loss. Photos not visible so can’t comment.
To the guys just now dipping their toes into the water of net dating, you need to realise you are not casting your line into a true cross section of single women out there, its very much skewed into a concentration of a certain type, depending on which site or app you use.
This guy talks a lot of sense in relation to the types of girls who frequent these places, it very much is a case of men are from mars, women are from Venus, these girls simply do not think or act like us, until you get into their mindset you will simply keep swimming in circles, then give up.
Your experiences are the norm for most men on the sites, when they were less mainstream I found them much easier to use, these days they are pretty much a waste of time.
His thinking/advice is based around the type of girls who are single for no discernible reason, much like the ones that frequent the dating sites and apps.
If all women thought and acted like the ones he is targeting then the human race would have vanished a long time ago, as most blokes who are not single will not have had to go through that sort of palava to meet the girls they are currently with.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90N8YRHUtsY
The types of girls I have always been attracted to would cringe at the lines used by this guy, however most of the ones on net dating would lap it up!
This guy talks a lot of sense in relation to the types of girls who frequent these places, it very much is a case of men are from mars, women are from Venus, these girls simply do not think or act like us, until you get into their mindset you will simply keep swimming in circles, then give up.
Your experiences are the norm for most men on the sites, when they were less mainstream I found them much easier to use, these days they are pretty much a waste of time.
His thinking/advice is based around the type of girls who are single for no discernible reason, much like the ones that frequent the dating sites and apps.
If all women thought and acted like the ones he is targeting then the human race would have vanished a long time ago, as most blokes who are not single will not have had to go through that sort of palava to meet the girls they are currently with.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90N8YRHUtsY
The types of girls I have always been attracted to would cringe at the lines used by this guy, however most of the ones on net dating would lap it up!
Edited by PAUL500 on Monday 20th August 21:39
TwistingMyMelon said:
Take a good long hard look at yourself if you use a spreadsheet in regards to anything involving dating
Not been on this thread for ages (Vol 2 I think) because I’m sorted now and a spreadsheet was part of how I got through the Online Dating minefield. My (now) OH and me use spreadsheets for all sorts of stuff and laugh that I used one for this. Different things are right for different people.And to link back to another ongoing discussion, different profiles work on different sites ... the one that looks dull and boring on Tinder can look alluring on Guardian Soulmates
If you are looking for a long term partner then it never struck me as clever to pretend to be anything other than I am. I get that it’s different if that’s not what you’re looking for
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