Being told " I don't love you anymore"

[theboss]

AndStilliRise said:

What?! Another bloke! As Jay-z once said, once a good girl has gone bad, she has gone forever.

Yep. I'm somewhat relieved to be honest, it means she won't loiter around me any more, thinking that we might get back together one day. We also had a fairly frank chat about obtaining a decree absolute the other day.

What I'm really hoping is that she gets all loved up with someone she wants to marry - that would be perfect.

[mjb1]

theboss said:

Yep. I'm somewhat relieved to be honest, it means she won't loiter around me any more, thinking that we might get back together one day. We also had a fairly frank chat about obtaining a decree absolute the other day.

What I'm really hoping is that she gets all loved up with someone she wants to marry - that would be perfect.

Wish my ex would get on and meet somebody else, I'm still the one getting the phone calls to come and rescue her when she's screwed up/stranded/overdrawn. It seems no other man is stupid enough to take her on though! We split two years ago, since then she's had 'liaisons' with dozens of blokes (of age range 17 to 70), and at least one proper relationship that lasted a couple of months or so (introduced to the kids etc). Then when I told her I'd started seeing someone else, she had a complete tantrum and starts telling me how she always wanted us to get back together. Err, no thanks. So then she starts properly using the kids as pawns: "if we're not getting back together, then I'm moving to the other end of the country".

[theboss]

mjb1 said:

Wish my ex would get on and meet somebody else, I'm still the one getting the phone calls to come and rescue her when she's screwed up/stranded/overdrawn. It seems no other man is stupid enough to take her on though! We split two years ago, since then she's had 'liaisons' with dozens of blokes (of age range 17 to 70), and at least one proper relationship that lasted a couple of months or so (introduced to the kids etc). Then when I told her I'd started seeing someone else, she had a complete tantrum and starts telling me how she always wanted us to get back together. Err, no thanks. So then she starts properly using the kids as pawns: "if we're not getting back together, then I'm moving to the other end of the country".

And I thought mine had become the village bike!! Jeez

[anonymous-user]

mjb1 said:

Wish my ex would get on and meet somebody else, I'm still the one getting the phone calls to come and rescue her when she's screwed up/stranded/overdrawn. It seems no other man is stupid enough to take her on though! We split two years ago, since then she's had 'liaisons' with dozens of blokes (of age range 17 to 70), and at least one proper relationship that lasted a couple of months or so (introduced to the kids etc). Then when I told her I'd started seeing someone else, she had a complete tantrum and starts telling me how she always wanted us to get back together. Err, no thanks. So then she starts properly using the kids as pawns: "if we're not getting back together, then I'm moving to the other end of the country".

Because you were her backup plan if it didn't all work out as she hoped. She seriously thought she could see if the grass was greener and if it turned out it wasn't you would take her back and look after again. Plus, when women decide to dump their husbands the last thing they want is to see them happy with someone else. She didn't want you but she also doesn't want someone else to want you as she now questions if she made the wrong choice.

Most women split up with their husbands as they are worried about their sexual market value and want validation they still have it. They then get back on the c*ck carousel until the good looking, good job, exciting bad boy with just the right amount of good guy qualities comes along. Problem is none of these men want to take on a middle aged, menopausal woman with children and a bad shopping habit so they just become pump and dump fodder.

This is the case with every divorced woman over 35 on every dating website.

[Robertj21a]

Joey Deacon said:

Because you were her backup plan if it didn't all work out as she hoped. She seriously thought she could see if the grass was greener and if it turned out it wasn't you would take her back and look after again. Plus, when women decide to dump their husbands the last thing they want is to see them happy with someone else. She didn't want you but she also doesn't want someone else to want you as she now questions if she made the wrong choice.

Most women split up with their husbands as they are worried about their sexual market value and want validation they still have it. They then get back on the c*ck carousel until the good looking, good job, exciting bad boy with just the right amount of good guy qualities comes along. Problem is none of these men want to take on a middle aged, menopausal woman with children and a bad shopping habit so they just become pump and dump fodder.

This is the case with every divorced woman over 35 on every dating website.

I was about to disagree with you, but now re-reading it again I think that's terribly accurate.

[AndStilliRise]

Robertj21a said:

Joey Deacon said:

Because you were her backup plan if it didn't all work out as she hoped. She seriously thought she could see if the grass was greener and if it turned out it wasn't you would take her back and look after again. Plus, when women decide to dump their husbands the last thing they want is to see them happy with someone else. She didn't want you but she also doesn't want someone else to want you as she now questions if she made the wrong choice.

Most women split up with their husbands as they are worried about their sexual market value and want validation they still have it. They then get back on the c*ck carousel until the good looking, good job, exciting bad boy with just the right amount of good guy qualities comes along. Problem is none of these men want to take on a middle aged, menopausal woman with children and a bad shopping habit so they just become pump and dump fodder.

This is the case with every divorced woman over 35 on every dating website.

I was about to disagree with you, but now re-reading it again I think that's terribly accurate.

Have to agree with all of this. I will add that between 35-42 women do go nuts.

[xjay1337]

Robertj21a said:

I was about to disagree with you, but now re-reading it again I think that's terribly accurate.

Joey is incredibly blunt and incredibly correct.

[mjb1]

Joey Deacon said:

mjb1 said:

Wish my ex would get on and meet somebody else, I'm still the one getting the phone calls to come and rescue her when she's screwed up/stranded/overdrawn. It seems no other man is stupid enough to take her on though! We split two years ago, since then she's had 'liaisons' with dozens of blokes (of age range 17 to 70), and at least one proper relationship that lasted a couple of months or so (introduced to the kids etc). Then when I told her I'd started seeing someone else, she had a complete tantrum and starts telling me how she always wanted us to get back together. Err, no thanks. So then she starts properly using the kids as pawns: "if we're not getting back together, then I'm moving to the other end of the country".

Because you were her backup plan if it didn't all work out as she hoped. She seriously thought she could see if the grass was greener and if it turned out it wasn't you would take her back and look after again. Plus, when women decide to dump their husbands the last thing they want is to see them happy with someone else. She didn't want you but she also doesn't want someone else to want you as she now questions if she made the wrong choice.

Most women split up with their husbands as they are worried about their sexual market value and want validation they still have it. They then get back on the c*ck carousel until the good looking, good job, exciting bad boy with just the right amount of good guy qualities comes along. Problem is none of these men want to take on a middle aged, menopausal woman with children and a bad shopping habit so they just become pump and dump fodder.

This is the case with every divorced woman over 35 on every dating website.

Fully agree with what you're saying and in most cases you're quite right. My situation was a bit different though - she'd been 'seeing if the grass was greener' for years during the relationship. For all those years I stupidly trusted her, but with hindsight her MO was obvious. She wasn't looking for a better companion though, none of the blokes she hooked up she ever intended to be more than a one nighter to her. It was all purely for sexual conquests. Pretty sure she got more satisfaction from another notch on the bedpost than any kind of meaningful affair, or even the sex itself. She even tried it on with my best friend and my own brother at one point FFS!

I put up with most of that behaviour 'for the sake of the kids', and the reason we actually split was due to her alcoholism. I don't think she was expecting us to split, but she left as one of her attention seeking/scene creating/control episodes (which she has previous for). This time I didn't go begging for her to come back. I've been telling her 'no chance' ever since, but she still wants us to. Everything's still my fault in her eyes and she genuinely doesn't think she's done anything wrong.

[trackdemon]

mjb1 said:

Everything's still my fault in her eyes and she genuinely doesn't think she's done anything wrong.

Mental. All of it.

[Don1]

trackdemon said:

mjb1 said:

Everything's still my fault in her eyes and she genuinely doesn't think she's done anything wrong.

Mental. All of it.

That can quite often go hand in hand with the alcoholism... Blame anyone but themselves, otherwise the paper thin veneer of lies that they use to protect what is left of their dignity comes crashing down, which is when they really go off the rails.

[mikefacel]

Don1 said:

trackdemon said:

mjb1 said:

Everything's still my fault in her eyes and she genuinely doesn't think she's done anything wrong.

Mental. All of it.

That can quite often go hand in hand with the alcoholism... Blame anyone but themselves, otherwise the paper thin veneer of lies that they use to protect what is left of their dignity comes crashing down, which is when they really go off the rails.

That all sounds like she has Borderline Personality Disorder.

[Plate spinner]

xjay1337 said:

Robertj21a said:

I was about to disagree with you, but now re-reading it again I think that's terribly accurate.

Joey is incredibly blunt and incredibly correct.

Just for some balance, I'd also say Joey's comments are incredibly cynical.

[Monkeylegend]

Plate spinner said:

xjay1337 said:

Robertj21a said:

I was about to disagree with you, but now re-reading it again I think that's terribly accurate.

Joey is incredibly blunt and incredibly correct.

Just for some balance, I'd also say Joey's comments are incredibly cynical.

and equally apply to middle age midlife crisis men.

[singlecoil]

Plate spinner said:

xjay1337 said:

Robertj21a said:

I was about to disagree with you, but now re-reading it again I think that's terribly accurate.

Joey is incredibly blunt and incredibly correct.

Just for some balance, I'd also say Joey's comments are incredibly cynical.

When you say 'incredibly', do you mean 'very'?

[Plate spinner]

singlecoil said:

Plate spinner said:

xjay1337 said:

Robertj21a said:

I was about to disagree with you, but now re-reading it again I think that's terribly accurate.

Joey is incredibly blunt and incredibly correct.

Just for some balance, I'd also say Joey's comments are incredibly cynical.

When you say 'incredibly', do you mean 'very'?

Probably.

It was just a play on words to create balance for the comments I'd quoted above mine.

[hyphen]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

Don't they normally give in? Bloke I know just had one after saying no for a while, along wth 3 kids from previous all in private education. Compromise was no siblings for this new one as he would like to retire at least a few day before he dies

[Plate spinner]

hyphen said:

anonymous said:

[redacted]

Don't they normally give in? Bloke I know just had one after saying no for a while, along wth 3 kids from previous all in private education. Compromise was no siblings for this new one as he would like to retire at least a few day before he dies

But why bother?

Plenty of women out there who have had kids and don't want more.
Or for whatever reason having kids is not on their agenda.

And if they change the agenda further down the road and apply pressure, a bloke has every right to say "ok, well as I've always said, that's not in my future so I guess it looks like our chapter is going to be coming to an end soon".

Jeez, you'd have to be pretty desperate / terrified of being single, to have kids you didn't really want - that just sounds crap for all concerned.

[hyphen]

Love

To be fair he has joint custody, and she does the school runs, breakfast and all sorts of 2nd mum type stuff for the existing kids along with working, so it would be difficult to say no.

She's a good woman (last one cheated).

[singlecoil]

Plate spinner said:

hyphen said:

anonymous said:

[redacted]

Don't they normally give in? Bloke I know just had one after saying no for a while, along wth 3 kids from previous all in private education. Compromise was no siblings for this new one as he would like to retire at least a few day before he dies

But why bother?

Plenty of women out there who have had kids and don't want more.
Or for whatever reason having kids is not on their agenda.

And if they change the agenda further down the road and apply pressure, a bloke has every right to say "ok, well as I've always said, that's not in my future so I guess it looks like our chapter is going to be coming to an end soon".

Jeez, you'd have to be pretty desperate / terrified of being single, to have kids you didn't really want - that just sounds crap for all concerned.

It all depends. I've noticed that when a woman hooks up with an older bloke who already has children, the most important thing in her life becomes to have at least one herself. It's absolutely vital from her POV because of the very strong position it puts her in further down the road.

[Monkeylegend]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

One thing this thread teaches you his how skewed peoples views can become to the point where they think every female is a snake and every male has been taken advantage of and treated very badly by said female.

It's not all true, there are some male snakes out there as well, the only difference being they don't have tits.