Being told " I don't love you anymore"

[PAUL500]

However temping it may be at times gents, its never worth a rash decision, always sleep on it, the world always looks a bit brighter the next day!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5639189/Wi...

[BrabusMog]

PAUL500 said:

However temping it may be at times gents, its never worth a rash decision, always sleep on it, the world always looks a bit brighter the next day!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5639189/Wi...

Blimey!

[hyphen]

BrabusMog said:

PAUL500 said:

However temping it may be at times gents, its never worth a rash decision, always sleep on it, the world always looks a bit brighter the next day!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5639189/Wi...

Blimey!

feel sorry for neighbours.

[Oldandslow]

FN2TypeR said:

I got an earful by text earlier today too! She messaged me happy birthday and all the usual platitudes (first time that we have spoken in ages since I have finally sorted all my post redirection out - useless I am) and then she asked if I would go round to the house and and swap a couple of light fittings out for her as a favour, the cheeky bh

"Why can't your new partner do it?"

She went fuuuuuuucking mental, how dare I ask such things? What is it to me? None of my business why he can't/won't/whatever! I'm just jealous that she's happy and I'm a bitter man.



And here I was thinking that we called it a day on reasonable (all things considered) terms!

Am I the only one reading that as "I'm lonely. Please come round for a quickie"

[hyphen]

Oldandslow said:

Am I the only one reading that as "I'm lonely. Please come round for a quickie"

[coljoh148]

Ive been there worn the T-shirt, more importantly bounced back to a better place and learned a lot from the experience.

I started working away, she couldn't handle the loneliness, 18 months of working a rotational job she told me she wasn't happy and moved back to her parents.

In actual fact I'd cottoned on to what she was up to and who with long before she was prepared to admit it, I was just playing it cool to get my ducks in a row before the impending cluster fk.

I was actually really lucky as I managed to get away with my home etc still in my hands.

For the fear of repeating the points on the thread:
Drastic change in apperence, attitude, going out quite randomly, story often not adding up, not willing to open legs, mind elsewhere, general nastiness / shortness towards you when otherwise normally pleasant...the writings on the wall.

Girls rarely slope off without having something else lined up.

Best advice is make the most of the period of single status, get out there and enjoy yourself, try some new things, meet new people and forget about the daft witch. No matter how desperate the situation may feel at the time don't do anything silly (including smashing 7 shades out of the new latest idiot she's chosen) as I too contemplated all sorts at the time but I can guarantee you it's not worth it.

[FN2TypeR]

hyphen said:

Oldandslow said:

Am I the only one reading that as "I'm lonely. Please come round for a quickie"

Thank God that I said no then! I'll stick to loneliness and the old pokey bum wk.

[Fckitdriveon]

FN2TypeR said:

hyphen said:

Oldandslow said:

Am I the only one reading that as "I'm lonely. Please come round for a quickie"

Thank God that I said no then! I'll stick to loneliness and the old pokey bum wk.

Don’t be so quick to dismiss......if she’s in ‘that’ sort of mood......you can pretty much do anything you want to her lol!

Maybe that’s just my very fcked up mind at work.

[Joey Ramone]

FocusRS3 said:

Good post and well done you.

Is the childs father still involved in her life too?

I ask as i have a pal that after many years of problems has now reached some middle ground with his ex and access to his kids. He has since had another with his new partner who also has one of her own. They treat each child as their own too which is great to see

Yes, her father is still very much involved in her life, and hopefully always will be. He has her every other weekend and holiday periods too, and if he wants to see her again for a few hours in between weekends (say to take her to a family friends birthday party) then no problem.We make sure that the daughter calls me my my first name, never 'dad', and that she grows up knowing that her biological father is 'dad'. My partner hasn't claimed maintenance off him either, preferring a clean break.

All in all it works about as well as one could reasonably expect. He loathes me obviously, but he understands that I treat his daughter as if she were my own.

[Stratton oakmont]

Well that's the boys dropped off for another weekend.

The house is still a st state and the attitude is still there. Greets me like nothings happened. Still got mixed emotions and ended up calling her a few things which mirror her actions. Looks like a 3rd party will get involved now with collecting and dropping off our sons as i have had enough of seeing her now and the constant images of it all is driving me mental..

[theboss]

I can’t talk because part of the closure for me was in not even seeing the bh for 4 months after separation, I had my mother do the hand-overs. I knew if I had to breathe the same air as her I’d explode. Time was a good healer in my case, but I do look back and reflect and then realise that Tonker is on the money here - do not do this! Do not kick off whatever you do. Don’t be surprised if she’s videoing any future handovers covertly either.

[FN2TypeR]

Stratton oakmont said:

Well that's the boys dropped off for another weekend.

The house is still a st state and the attitude is still there. Greets me like nothings happened. Still got mixed emotions and ended up calling her a few things which mirror her actions. Looks like a 3rd party will get involved now with collecting and dropping off our sons as i have had enough of seeing her now and the constant images of it all is driving me mental..

Don't, seriously, don't.

[MYOB]

Stratton oakmont said:

Well that's the boys dropped off for another weekend.

The house is still a st state and the attitude is still there. Greets me like nothings happened. Still got mixed emotions and ended up calling her a few things which mirror her actions. Looks like a 3rd party will get involved now with collecting and dropping off our sons as i have had enough of seeing her now and the constant images of it all is driving me mental..

I'm currently going through all the legal proceedings. The ex is a quivering wreck in Court and the judges are sympathising with her. But yet when I drop my kids off, she's quite clearly happy as larry, confident and resolute when faced with me outside the Court.

Given what she has done to me, I naturally want to talk to her and make her realise what she has done to our children, but as others has said, it's simply not worth the hassle, certainly not in the presence of the children.

Just make sure there are no stress or aggravation at all. It's not fair on the kids. And as Tonker says, it will be used against you.

[YankeePorker]

MYOB said:

Given what she has done to me, I naturally want to talk to her and make her realise what she has done to our children, but as others has said, it's simply not worth the hassle, certainly not in the presence of the children.

Never something to be done in front of the kids as you say, but a complete waste of time anyway. When I pointed out to my wife (separated but not yet divorced) that she’d crapped on me and the marriage and hence on her children too, she went into raving denial mode. I understand that the expression is “she was still in the fog”, a strange state of auto-justification during which every thing is your fault and they have done no wrong.

[theboss]

YankeePorker said:

Never something to be done in front of the kids as you say, but a complete waste of time anyway. When I pointed out to my wife (separated but not yet divorced) that she’d crapped on me and the marriage and hence on her children too, she went into raving denial mode. I understand that the expression is “she was still in the fog”, a strange state of auto-justification during which every thing is your fault and they have done no wrong.

Then 6 month later a sobbing wreck “I made the worst mistake of my life” when that grass wasn’t so green after all.

[Stratton oakmont]

I understand now gents after some cooling off and reflection.

Had a lengthy chat with my old man last night who has been through it all when my parents split and had the same thing happen to him. He has given me some sound advice and said to just come to terms that she has been making plans behind the scenes since January, so whatever i say is just null and void to her and she has decided to choose another man over a loving family unit. Will just have to try and go into autopilot and keep the interactions limited to just a few words then make tracks during pick up/drop off.

[Evolved]

Stratton oakmont said:

I understand now gents after some cooling off and reflection.

Had a lengthy chat with my old man last night who has been through it all when my parents split and had the same thing happen to him. He has given me some sound advice and said to just come to terms that she has been making plans behind the scenes since January, so whatever i say is just null and void to her and she has decided to choose another man over a loving family unit. Will just have to try and go into autopilot and keep the interactions limited to just a few words then make tracks during pick up/drop off.

Without a shadow of a doubt, she will have been planning since before Jan!
Just gather yourself, focus on work and the kids and plough through. There will be times when it’s hard, those times you sit and think about the situation, and it WILL drive you insane. Try to occupy yourself with something else when it happens!

It’s true what they say, time is a healer and you will find light at the end of the tunnel. Women are snakes with tits, sometimes you ask yourself if it’s ever worth it.

[FN2TypeR]

Evolved said:

Without a shadow of a doubt, she will have been planning since before Jan!
Just gather yourself, focus on work and the kids and plough through. There will be times when it’s hard, those times you sit and think about the situation, and it WILL drive you insane. Try to occupy yourself with something else when it happens!

It’s true what they say, time is a healer and you will find light at the end of the tunnel. Women are snakes with tits, sometimes you ask yourself if it’s ever worth it.

Some of them, anyway. There's plenty of ahole blokes out there too y'know.

Edited by FN2TypeR on Wednesday 25th April 08:30

[FocusRS3]

Joey Ramone said:

Yes, her father is still very much involved in her life, and hopefully always will be. He has her every other weekend and holiday periods too, and if he wants to see her again for a few hours in between weekends (say to take her to a family friends birthday party) then no problem.We make sure that the daughter calls me my my first name, never 'dad', and that she grows up knowing that her biological father is 'dad'. My partner hasn't claimed maintenance off him either, preferring a clean break.

All in all it works about as well as one could reasonably expect. He loathes me obviously, but he understands that I treat his daughter as if she were my own.

Spot on that man

[Plate spinner]

Stratton oakmont said:

I understand now gents after some cooling off and reflection.

Had a lengthy chat with my old man last night who has been through it all when my parents split and had the same thing happen to him. He has given me some sound advice and said to just come to terms that she has been making plans behind the scenes since January, so whatever i say is just null and void to her and she has decided to choose another man over a loving family unit. Will just have to try and go into autopilot and keep the interactions limited to just a few words then make tracks during pick up/drop off.

Yup, cooling off and reflection.

She's moved on - as difficult as this, it's a fact you just need to come to terms with.
And remember it's not all bad. As much as you're going to have to deal with not having the future you thought was yours, at some point you'll be in a state of undress with some new lovely and you'll think "wow, this is cool and wouldn't have happended if I'd still been married... this is not all bad"

Your relationship with your kids is the most important thing right? Just focus on that, it's a great way to keep you sane during the ups and downs.

If you need to vent your frustrations, do it in a safe place with no reprecussions, like here.

And look after you - eat as well as you can and take some exercise - great way to feel better on a daily basis. And if that is not your current life style, then what better time to start making changes?!

Edited by Plate spinner on Monday 23 April 08:59