Being told " I don't love you anymore"
Discussion
I have to say that at the care order hearings, the judge covering such was excellent, they are the most senior family court judge in our region.
They and the court appointed guardian had the measure of my ex virtually straight away. The judge stated my ex was clearly a liar when the social worker was giving evidence. In the judges summing up on the last day they went out of there way to thank me for my persistence in the matter and asked me to keep plugging way if social services fail to follow the very detailed court orders. The judge made no such comment to the ex which my barrister said was very damning.
They and the court appointed guardian had the measure of my ex virtually straight away. The judge stated my ex was clearly a liar when the social worker was giving evidence. In the judges summing up on the last day they went out of there way to thank me for my persistence in the matter and asked me to keep plugging way if social services fail to follow the very detailed court orders. The judge made no such comment to the ex which my barrister said was very damning.
randlemarcus said:
I suspect I'm being terribly naive, but I find it utterly shocking that such an important linchpin in the judicial system is a volunteer with little training and no remuneration. That's a surefire recipe for huge variation in the quality of them, and the verdicts they give out....trackdemon said:
randlemarcus said:
I suspect I'm being terribly naive, but I find it utterly shocking that such an important linchpin in the judicial system is a volunteer with little training and no remuneration. That's a surefire recipe for huge variation in the quality of them, and the verdicts they give out....trackdemon said:
randlemarcus said:
I suspect I'm being terribly naive, but I find it utterly shocking that such an important linchpin in the judicial system is a volunteer with little training and no remuneration. That's a surefire recipe for huge variation in the quality of them, and the verdicts they give out....One of the gentlemen on the training course with me (about 60) ex lawyer I believe but clearly a level headed man who only spoke when he had something worth saying type.
I asked him why he gave up the magistrate stuff and he basically said he couldn’t with all good conscious keep doing it with some of the stupid decisions being made by his fellow magistrates.
Perhaps I'm not so naive after all. System seems open to abuse by certain types; as alluded to, the ultra middle class sneering types who are happy to be in a position to assert their own version of justice (which doesn't necessarily align with our wider perception of balanced justice). Somebody once said something about not wanting to be a member of a club who'd have them, seems to me the same could be applied here. Scary, really...
Tonker - do you have any recommendations for a good family Barrister in Kent, specialising in Finance matters?
Stour Chambers in Canterbury has been recommended by my solicitor, although I have not contacted them yet to get a list of barristers that are available.
My budget is quite limited given I'm currently unemployed but my solicitor recommended I hire one as she thinks the Court has treated me unfairly to date.
I'm not inclined to hire one for the access to the children's matter given that the Courts invariably follow CAFCASS's recommendations.
Thanks.
Stour Chambers in Canterbury has been recommended by my solicitor, although I have not contacted them yet to get a list of barristers that are available.
My budget is quite limited given I'm currently unemployed but my solicitor recommended I hire one as she thinks the Court has treated me unfairly to date.
I'm not inclined to hire one for the access to the children's matter given that the Courts invariably follow CAFCASS's recommendations.
Thanks.
Monkeylegend said:
zygalski said:
anonymous said:
[redacted]
The only thing worse than a woman is a woman with power.But it’s definitely not some sort of anti-women thread.
Might as well give a quick update,
Job interview went well yesterday so should find out next week if i get it or not. If i do then that will be me moving an hour away from here and starting all over again. Found out on Monday that the bloke she is still seeing had slept in the house Sunday night as i went in to collect my suit and found his boxers in the bed. I had asked her 20 minutes prior to this if he had been in at all as we both agreed he wouldn't go near the house whilst i was still paying towards rent. she flat out said no. Again another lie as i confronted her in the pub round the corner 5 minutes later. my half of the rent is due back this week. Everything is much clearer now....
She is saying she is serious about him and that the kids will be meeting him soon with the latter being hard to take. she also stated she never tried to save the relationship because she didn't want to and "it is what it is". Seems her friend that stayed that night also has been shagging about so i feel for her partner if he doesn't know. I'm at the stage now where i couldn't care less about her anymore which i never thought i'd be saying. All the offers to help her move and other things have since been turned off so she is now on her own and that prick can do that for her.
In a bizarre twist, i have had a married woman offer herself up which i politely declined and a few single ladies locally "enquire" about my status. Still feels so alien going through all that again.
Job interview went well yesterday so should find out next week if i get it or not. If i do then that will be me moving an hour away from here and starting all over again. Found out on Monday that the bloke she is still seeing had slept in the house Sunday night as i went in to collect my suit and found his boxers in the bed. I had asked her 20 minutes prior to this if he had been in at all as we both agreed he wouldn't go near the house whilst i was still paying towards rent. she flat out said no. Again another lie as i confronted her in the pub round the corner 5 minutes later. my half of the rent is due back this week. Everything is much clearer now....
She is saying she is serious about him and that the kids will be meeting him soon with the latter being hard to take. she also stated she never tried to save the relationship because she didn't want to and "it is what it is". Seems her friend that stayed that night also has been shagging about so i feel for her partner if he doesn't know. I'm at the stage now where i couldn't care less about her anymore which i never thought i'd be saying. All the offers to help her move and other things have since been turned off so she is now on her own and that prick can do that for her.
In a bizarre twist, i have had a married woman offer herself up which i politely declined and a few single ladies locally "enquire" about my status. Still feels so alien going through all that again.
Stratton oakmont said:
Might as well give a quick update,
Job interview went well yesterday so should find out next week if i get it or not. If i do then that will be me moving an hour away from here and starting all over again. Found out on Monday that the bloke she is still seeing had slept in the house Sunday night as i went in to collect my suit and found his boxers in the bed. I had asked her 20 minutes prior to this if he had been in at all as we both agreed he wouldn't go near the house whilst i was still paying towards rent. she flat out said no. Again another lie as i confronted her in the pub round the corner 5 minutes later. my half of the rent is due back this week. Everything is much clearer now....
She is saying she is serious about him and that the kids will be meeting him soon with the latter being hard to take. she also stated she never tried to save the relationship because she didn't want to and "it is what it is". Seems her friend that stayed that night also has been shagging about so i feel for her partner if he doesn't know. I'm at the stage now where i couldn't care less about her anymore which i never thought i'd be saying. All the offers to help her move and other things have since been turned off so she is now on her own and that prick can do that for her.
In a bizarre twist, i have had a married woman offer herself up which i politely declined and a few single ladies locally "enquire" about my status. Still feels so alien going through all that again.
Sorry to hear that. Unfortunately, we all think it could never happen to us. Job interview went well yesterday so should find out next week if i get it or not. If i do then that will be me moving an hour away from here and starting all over again. Found out on Monday that the bloke she is still seeing had slept in the house Sunday night as i went in to collect my suit and found his boxers in the bed. I had asked her 20 minutes prior to this if he had been in at all as we both agreed he wouldn't go near the house whilst i was still paying towards rent. she flat out said no. Again another lie as i confronted her in the pub round the corner 5 minutes later. my half of the rent is due back this week. Everything is much clearer now....
She is saying she is serious about him and that the kids will be meeting him soon with the latter being hard to take. she also stated she never tried to save the relationship because she didn't want to and "it is what it is". Seems her friend that stayed that night also has been shagging about so i feel for her partner if he doesn't know. I'm at the stage now where i couldn't care less about her anymore which i never thought i'd be saying. All the offers to help her move and other things have since been turned off so she is now on her own and that prick can do that for her.
In a bizarre twist, i have had a married woman offer herself up which i politely declined and a few single ladies locally "enquire" about my status. Still feels so alien going through all that again.
Stratton oakmont said:
Might as well give a quick update,
Job interview went well yesterday so should find out next week if i get it or not. If i do then that will be me moving an hour away from here and starting all over again. Found out on Monday that the bloke she is still seeing had slept in the house Sunday night as i went in to collect my suit and found his boxers in the bed. I had asked her 20 minutes prior to this if he had been in at all as we both agreed he wouldn't go near the house whilst i was still paying towards rent. she flat out said no. Again another lie as i confronted her in the pub round the corner 5 minutes later. my half of the rent is due back this week. Everything is much clearer now....
She is saying she is serious about him and that the kids will be meeting him soon with the latter being hard to take. she also stated she never tried to save the relationship because she didn't want to and "it is what it is". Seems her friend that stayed that night also has been shagging about so i feel for her partner if he doesn't know. I'm at the stage now where i couldn't care less about her anymore which i never thought i'd be saying. All the offers to help her move and other things have since been turned off so she is now on her own and that prick can do that for her.
In a bizarre twist, i have had a married woman offer herself up which i politely declined and a few single ladies locally "enquire" about my status. Still feels so alien going through all that again.
Its a hard thing to come to terms with but it sounds like your head is in the right place overall.Job interview went well yesterday so should find out next week if i get it or not. If i do then that will be me moving an hour away from here and starting all over again. Found out on Monday that the bloke she is still seeing had slept in the house Sunday night as i went in to collect my suit and found his boxers in the bed. I had asked her 20 minutes prior to this if he had been in at all as we both agreed he wouldn't go near the house whilst i was still paying towards rent. she flat out said no. Again another lie as i confronted her in the pub round the corner 5 minutes later. my half of the rent is due back this week. Everything is much clearer now....
She is saying she is serious about him and that the kids will be meeting him soon with the latter being hard to take. she also stated she never tried to save the relationship because she didn't want to and "it is what it is". Seems her friend that stayed that night also has been shagging about so i feel for her partner if he doesn't know. I'm at the stage now where i couldn't care less about her anymore which i never thought i'd be saying. All the offers to help her move and other things have since been turned off so she is now on her own and that prick can do that for her.
In a bizarre twist, i have had a married woman offer herself up which i politely declined and a few single ladies locally "enquire" about my status. Still feels so alien going through all that again.
If you take a job an hour away and move away, how much will you see of your kids? They are probably going to be crying out for stability and continuity in this crazy new world their mother has thrust them into. I was sorely tempted to throw the towel in and 'start again' myself, but the prospect of my role in the children's lives being diminished to every-other-weekend was something I couldn't take and still can't. I'm currently working in London and staying away Mon-Fri but I have them every weekend in their original home without fail.
Well I’ll add an update also...
My ex-wife and I recently went to an evening presentation at my eldest son’s school with him.
He was wearing new trainers and quickly said ‘thanks dad, I bought them with mum last weekend and she said they were from the both of you, so yeah, like cheers ’.
Me and her sat together, just like all the ‘normal’ parents, chatted pleasantly about the show, during the interval asked how we were each getting on and shared the odd chuckle.
Following the school event I slipped him a cheeky £20 and said ‘well done tonight my man, mum and I are really proud of you, a little something from the both of us to treat yourself during the holidays’. Obviously he was beaming.
When he went off with his friends, she thanked me and I thanked her. We both agreed we were proud of him and she would let me know during the week how his revision was going and I’d let her know on Sunday how his team did at football.
We wished each other well and went our seperate ways to the new lives we’ve created for ourselves.
My advice to anyone is to simply try to stay friends, even if just for the children. It’s not easy, really it’s not. At times it seems like the most difficult thing in the workd. Swallow your pride if you can. Let anger go, it serves no purpose.
When our son ‘group hugged’ us both that night and said ‘love you both’ it just made the journey worthwhile.
Hang in there PHers, always think things through, play the long game for your kids if you have them.
My ex-wife and I recently went to an evening presentation at my eldest son’s school with him.
He was wearing new trainers and quickly said ‘thanks dad, I bought them with mum last weekend and she said they were from the both of you, so yeah, like cheers ’.
Me and her sat together, just like all the ‘normal’ parents, chatted pleasantly about the show, during the interval asked how we were each getting on and shared the odd chuckle.
Following the school event I slipped him a cheeky £20 and said ‘well done tonight my man, mum and I are really proud of you, a little something from the both of us to treat yourself during the holidays’. Obviously he was beaming.
When he went off with his friends, she thanked me and I thanked her. We both agreed we were proud of him and she would let me know during the week how his revision was going and I’d let her know on Sunday how his team did at football.
We wished each other well and went our seperate ways to the new lives we’ve created for ourselves.
My advice to anyone is to simply try to stay friends, even if just for the children. It’s not easy, really it’s not. At times it seems like the most difficult thing in the workd. Swallow your pride if you can. Let anger go, it serves no purpose.
When our son ‘group hugged’ us both that night and said ‘love you both’ it just made the journey worthwhile.
Hang in there PHers, always think things through, play the long game for your kids if you have them.
anonymous said:
[redacted]
Noted... Glad me and SWMBO have agreements that she keeps her stuff and I keep mine.Been abroad for 2.5 years and her friend told her that she should have some rights to my pension (the investment property in London as she paid into a rent book).
I asked if she would like to have me 5 figures to backfill the missing storage fees and loads of other fees for a right to some equity, or would she like to tell her friend to f
k off and keep out.We dont talk of that now and she has now signed a doc that she has no financial interest in the property.
Plate spinner said:
Well I’ll add an update also...
My ex-wife and I recently went to an evening presentation at my eldest son’s school with him.
He was wearing new trainers and quickly said ‘thanks dad, I bought them with mum last weekend and she said they were from the both of you, so yeah, like cheers ’.
Me and her sat together, just like all the ‘normal’ parents, chatted pleasantly about the show, during the interval asked how we were each getting on and shared the odd chuckle.
Following the school event I slipped him a cheeky £20 and said ‘well done tonight my man, mum and I are really proud of you, a little something from the both of us to treat yourself during the holidays’. Obviously he was beaming.
When he went off with his friends, she thanked me and I thanked her. We both agreed we were proud of him and she would let me know during the week how his revision was going and I’d let her know on Sunday how his team did at football.
We wished each other well and went our seperate ways to the new lives we’ve created for ourselves.
My advice to anyone is to simply try to stay friends, even if just for the children. It’s not easy, really it’s not. At times it seems like the most difficult thing in the workd. Swallow your pride if you can. Let anger go, it serves no purpose.
When our son ‘group hugged’ us both that night and said ‘love you both’ it just made the journey worthwhile.
Hang in there PHers, always think things through, play the long game for your kids if you have them.
That only works if you marry a grown up, rather than the pretty one wiv big tits that's way out of your league and yes a little 'ditzy', but she's eva so pretty.My ex-wife and I recently went to an evening presentation at my eldest son’s school with him.
He was wearing new trainers and quickly said ‘thanks dad, I bought them with mum last weekend and she said they were from the both of you, so yeah, like cheers ’.
Me and her sat together, just like all the ‘normal’ parents, chatted pleasantly about the show, during the interval asked how we were each getting on and shared the odd chuckle.
Following the school event I slipped him a cheeky £20 and said ‘well done tonight my man, mum and I are really proud of you, a little something from the both of us to treat yourself during the holidays’. Obviously he was beaming.
When he went off with his friends, she thanked me and I thanked her. We both agreed we were proud of him and she would let me know during the week how his revision was going and I’d let her know on Sunday how his team did at football.
We wished each other well and went our seperate ways to the new lives we’ve created for ourselves.
My advice to anyone is to simply try to stay friends, even if just for the children. It’s not easy, really it’s not. At times it seems like the most difficult thing in the workd. Swallow your pride if you can. Let anger go, it serves no purpose.
When our son ‘group hugged’ us both that night and said ‘love you both’ it just made the journey worthwhile.
Hang in there PHers, always think things through, play the long game for your kids if you have them.
Anyway, your ex sounds nice, why did you divorce her?
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