Being told " I don't love you anymore"
Discussion
Firstly wrong thread chap- this is not the one people come to for cautionatry tales, its the one they come to having not heard the cautionary tales prior 
Secondly, unless this fella has learning disabilities, surely he know what he has signed up for? When young, yes, but if he married her at the grand old worldly experienced age of 40, then surely he should be a bit wiser than his 20 year old self?
Secondly, unless this fella has learning disabilities, surely he know what he has signed up for? When young, yes, but if he married her at the grand old worldly experienced age of 40, then surely he should be a bit wiser than his 20 year old self?hyphen said:
Firstly wrong thread chap- this is not the one people come to for cautionatry tales, its the one they come to having not heard the cautionary tales prior Secondly, unless this fella has learning disabilities, surely he know what he has signed up for? When young, yes, but if he married her at the grand old worldly experienced age of 40, then surely he should be a bit wiser than his 20 year old self?
Probably fair to guess that the harridan wife is well put together and the chap is Secondly, unless this fella has learning disabilities, surely he know what he has signed up for? When young, yes, but if he married her at the grand old worldly experienced age of 40, then surely he should be a bit wiser than his 20 year old self?
struck.It happens.
hyphen said:
Firstly wrong thread chap- this is not the one people come to for cautionatry tales, its the one they come to having not heard the cautionary tales prior Secondly, unless this fella has learning disabilities, surely he know what he has signed up for? When young, yes, but if he married her at the grand old worldly experienced age of 40, then surely he should be a bit wiser than his 20 year old self?
Coincidentally to Harry's tale, I had a reunion weekend walking in the Dales with 2 old schoolfriends last weekend. Secondly, unless this fella has learning disabilities, surely he know what he has signed up for? When young, yes, but if he married her at the grand old worldly experienced age of 40, then surely he should be a bit wiser than his 20 year old self?At the age of 48, one of them is about to embark on his 4th marriage having only just disentangled himself from his 3rd, all marriages having produced offspring.
He can't help himself, all a woman has to do is be blonde, have an ample chest, a reasonable face and play hard to get and he's smitten. Again.
Some men never learn.
Mark Benson said:
He can't help himself, all a woman has to do is be blonde, have an ample chest, a reasonable face and play hard to get and he's smitten. Again.
Some men never learn.
Like the old saying " God gave men a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to operate one at a time......."Some men never learn.
Harry Flashman said:
interesting stuff...........
A PHer I know asked me, after meeting Lady F, why I married someone like her, as opposed to a very obvious, blonde sidepiece (the type I used to love dating). He was surprised, given my past endeavours, that she a) had a career, b) has two masters degrees and c) is not a stripper lookalike who wanders around in a miniskirt and heels all day long.
and...................
Make proper choices, gentlemen.
fabulous post, only edited shorter for direct comment.......A PHer I know asked me, after meeting Lady F, why I married someone like her, as opposed to a very obvious, blonde sidepiece (the type I used to love dating). He was surprised, given my past endeavours, that she a) had a career, b) has two masters degrees and c) is not a stripper lookalike who wanders around in a miniskirt and heels all day long.
and...................
Make proper choices, gentlemen.
Edited by Harry Flashman on Wednesday 17th October 14:02
I am in EXACTLY this situation now. Your honest and open post deserves some back up at the risk of the abuse.
Having dated a varied number of absolute stunners on anyone's scale, including the usual models, actresses, strippers (posh ones), and of course all the Russians and Eastern European 20/30 somethings that would let me stand on my wallet for them.........
I find myself with my very off and on absolutely lovely EX. She is very much my EX - but we do canoodle.
She is just a lovely normal lady, but not in the category I dated..........and although I'll never marry, I fear I may be done for with a lady that people would ask of me the same.
Not your normal type etc...........maybe that's the proper choice you speak of.
Lifelong with a mate, rather than the holywood, instagram life is I'm sure the right thing to do.
It helps that I'm old now (doubt I'll ever be wise)
What I have learned in my old age............owning the Triumph is a lot nicer than the Ducati. Clearly the Ducati is a lot of fun for a Saturday night blast around the country roads. Ultimately it's too expensive and unreliable to own full time, plus it burns your b
ks on too long a journey.The Selfish Gene said:
sc0tt said:
There’s a fella at my work with a triumph for weekly duties and a Ducati for the weekend.
True story.
that isn't a surprise at all. I know many with a Triumph, Ducati, sometimes a 911 and now and again a full time Transit van, diesel.True story.
The Selfish Gene said:
fabulous post, only edited shorter for direct comment.......
I am in EXACTLY this situation now. Your honest and open post deserves some back up at the risk of the abuse.
Having dated a varied number of absolute stunners on anyone's scale, including the usual models, actresses, strippers (posh ones), and of course all the Russians and Eastern European 20/30 somethings that would let me stand on my wallet for them.........
I find myself with my very off and on absolutely lovely EX. She is very much my EX - but we do canoodle.
She is just a lovely normal lady, but not in the category I dated..........and although I'll never marry, I fear I may be done for with a lady that people would ask of me the same.
Not your normal type etc...........maybe that's the proper choice you speak of.
Lifelong with a mate, rather than the holywood, instagram life is I'm sure the right thing to do.
It helps that I'm old now (doubt I'll ever be wise)
What I have learned in my old age............owning the Triumph is a lot nicer than the Ducati. Clearly the Ducati is a lot of fun for a Saturday night blast around the country roads. Ultimately it's too expensive and unreliable to own full time, plus it burns your bks on too long a journey.
It's funny - when I first started dallying with Lady F (and I remember the situation well), I had just got back from a week in Ibiza, and I was dating three girls (including my future wife). And I remember sitting down with my best friend, now best man, and discussing this with him. The hot and completely crazy Russian with no discernible job, a 7 bedroom house in Kensington, and a scary father, the beautiful receptionist/model with no real prospects and a credit card problem, and Lady F who despite not being as good-looking as the other two was pretty, stylish, stable, funny and very popular with my friends (male and female), and financially not just independent, but thriving and successful. I am in EXACTLY this situation now. Your honest and open post deserves some back up at the risk of the abuse.
Having dated a varied number of absolute stunners on anyone's scale, including the usual models, actresses, strippers (posh ones), and of course all the Russians and Eastern European 20/30 somethings that would let me stand on my wallet for them.........
I find myself with my very off and on absolutely lovely EX. She is very much my EX - but we do canoodle.
She is just a lovely normal lady, but not in the category I dated..........and although I'll never marry, I fear I may be done for with a lady that people would ask of me the same.
Not your normal type etc...........maybe that's the proper choice you speak of.
Lifelong with a mate, rather than the holywood, instagram life is I'm sure the right thing to do.
It helps that I'm old now (doubt I'll ever be wise)
What I have learned in my old age............owning the Triumph is a lot nicer than the Ducati. Clearly the Ducati is a lot of fun for a Saturday night blast around the country roads. Ultimately it's too expensive and unreliable to own full time, plus it burns your b
ks on too long a journey.It was, after a long run of going out with gorgeous and nuts women an absolute relief to deliberately choose someone fun and unpretentious. And nine years later, I am very glad that I did. But I nearly didn't. And I could have been on this thread bemoaning the fact that some utter harridan was screwing me over for all of my assets and keeping me from my children, and sleeping with someone else.
I've posted elsewhere, years ago, but when I broke up with the Russian, I found a Range Rover with two blokes in it sitting outside my house every evening for a week - I called the police in the end. So at least one of my decisions was validated immediately.
And don't get me wrong, I very nearly made the wrong choice as in those days, I was still worrying about having the prettiest girl in the room on my arm. It was my best friend who (verbally) knocked some sense into me (he is very happily married to his university sweetheart, with two lovely daughters).
The point is not to gloat - it is to tell you that there, but for some real luck, go I. I read these stories and think of the lucky escapes I have had. I have been engaged twice before Lady F, to totally unsuitable females, and I have bailed at the last minute; never through good judgement, but from lack of commitment. That immaturity saved me from hell, quite frankly.
There are some absolute psychos out there, boys. You chaps on the rebound - tread carefully. Keep it light. When you commit again, make some smart choices.
Edited by Harry Flashman on Wednesday 17th October 19:18
And if you reverse the situation you'll also give hope to many a PHer on the match.com thread who hope that the foxy hot one on tinder/match/happn/bumble will suddenly come to her senses after years of being rogered by a succession of casanova's and match with the average Joe in the Puma Speedcats.
Harry Flashman said:
It's funny - when I first started dallying with Lady F (and I remember the situation well), I had just got back from a week in Ibiza, and I was dating three girls (including my future wife). And I remember sitting down with my best friend, now best man, and discussing this with him. The hot and completely crazy Russian with no discernible job, a 7 bedroom house in Kensington, and a scary father, the beautiful receptionist/model with no real prospects and a credit card problem, and Lady F who despite not being as good-looking as the other two was pretty, stylish, stable, funny and very popular with my friends (male and female), and financially not just independent, but thriving and successful.
It was, after a long run of going out with gorgeous and nuts women an absolute relief to deliberately choose someone fun and unpretentious. And nine years later, I am very glad that I did. But I nearly didn't. And I could have been on this thread bemoaning the fact that some utter harridan was screwing me over for all of my assets and keeping me from my children, and sleeping with someone else.
I've posted elsewhere, years ago, but when I broke up with the Russian, I found a Range Rover with two blokes in it sitting outside my house every evening for a week - I called the police in the end. So at least one of my decisions was validated immediately.
And don't get me wrong, I very nearly made the wrong choice as in those days, I was still worrying about having the prettiest girl in the room on my arm. It was my best friend who (verbally) knocked some sense into me (he is very happily married to his university sweetheart, with two lovely daughters).
The point is not to gloat - it is to tell you that there, but for some real luck, go I. I read these stories and think of the lucky escapes I have had. I have been engaged twice before Lady F, to totally unsuitable females, and I have bailed at the last minute; never through good judgement, but from lack of commitment. That immaturity saved me from hell, quite frankly.
There are some absolute psychos out there, boys. You chaps on the rebound - tread carefully. Keep it light. When you commit again, make some smart choices.
So what you are saying is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qh9ZZgDqzAgIt was, after a long run of going out with gorgeous and nuts women an absolute relief to deliberately choose someone fun and unpretentious. And nine years later, I am very glad that I did. But I nearly didn't. And I could have been on this thread bemoaning the fact that some utter harridan was screwing me over for all of my assets and keeping me from my children, and sleeping with someone else.
I've posted elsewhere, years ago, but when I broke up with the Russian, I found a Range Rover with two blokes in it sitting outside my house every evening for a week - I called the police in the end. So at least one of my decisions was validated immediately.
And don't get me wrong, I very nearly made the wrong choice as in those days, I was still worrying about having the prettiest girl in the room on my arm. It was my best friend who (verbally) knocked some sense into me (he is very happily married to his university sweetheart, with two lovely daughters).
The point is not to gloat - it is to tell you that there, but for some real luck, go I. I read these stories and think of the lucky escapes I have had. I have been engaged twice before Lady F, to totally unsuitable females, and I have bailed at the last minute; never through good judgement, but from lack of commitment. That immaturity saved me from hell, quite frankly.
There are some absolute psychos out there, boys. You chaps on the rebound - tread carefully. Keep it light. When you commit again, make some smart choices.
Edited by Harry Flashman on Wednesday 17th October 19:18
The Selfish Gene said:
sc0tt said:
There’s a fella at my work with a triumph for weekly duties and a Ducati for the weekend.
True story.
that isn't a surprise at all. I know many with a Triumph, Ducati, sometimes a 911 and now and again a full time Transit van, diesel.True story.
I married a girl who genuinely became my best mate. Unfortunately that's how we ended up, as best mates not lovers.
Just be careful when meeting new people. I ended up getting a chance with a totally stunning girl I'd never have imagined even getting near once upon a time, but I wasn't ready. Unfortunately I had no idea I wasn't ready until I got involved. I was an emotional wreck inside and I made a real mess of things. I later realised that I had thought that my break up with my wife was my one shot at happiness falling through, and that when I met the new girl something had just gone off deep in my subconscious about how against all odds I had found a second shot and I had to hold onto her and not let her go etc.
I was a mess.
When it ended I was somehow in a worse state than I was after the breakup with my wife. As if I was experiencing that all over again and now this fresh breakup. It was bloody hard. Don't fall into that trap.
I've since had a short thing with a girl who was right up my street and liked a bit of rough treatment in the bedroom but she was screwed up in numerous ways and that didn't work out either! Very, very pretty though. 11 years younger than me. I've finally reached a point now where I'm comfortable being single and that's the thing I needed. I'm not getting with anyone just to be with someone. It's got to be right. I do want kids etc. so feel a slight degree of pressure but not enough to take a leap of faith at the moment. I am actually very casually seeing another girl but I genuinely don't want anything serious from it this time and have made that very clear to her.
Just look after yourselves chaps. You need to get yourself right before you jump into anything.
Just be careful when meeting new people. I ended up getting a chance with a totally stunning girl I'd never have imagined even getting near once upon a time, but I wasn't ready. Unfortunately I had no idea I wasn't ready until I got involved. I was an emotional wreck inside and I made a real mess of things. I later realised that I had thought that my break up with my wife was my one shot at happiness falling through, and that when I met the new girl something had just gone off deep in my subconscious about how against all odds I had found a second shot and I had to hold onto her and not let her go etc.
I was a mess.
When it ended I was somehow in a worse state than I was after the breakup with my wife. As if I was experiencing that all over again and now this fresh breakup. It was bloody hard. Don't fall into that trap.
I've since had a short thing with a girl who was right up my street and liked a bit of rough treatment in the bedroom but she was screwed up in numerous ways and that didn't work out either! Very, very pretty though. 11 years younger than me. I've finally reached a point now where I'm comfortable being single and that's the thing I needed. I'm not getting with anyone just to be with someone. It's got to be right. I do want kids etc. so feel a slight degree of pressure but not enough to take a leap of faith at the moment. I am actually very casually seeing another girl but I genuinely don't want anything serious from it this time and have made that very clear to her.
Just look after yourselves chaps. You need to get yourself right before you jump into anything.
TroubledSoul said:
Just look after yourselves chaps. You need to get yourself right before you jump into anything.
Totally spot on, I think the problem most men make (myself included) is trying to date again too early. For me I started online dating a month after I split with my wife as I initially wanted to just chat with women in the evenings when I had nothing to do. Before you know it you are going on dates with women you shouldn't be seeing as you have nothing to do at the weekend. My self confidence was pretty low after my split so when these women are making it clear they want to sleep with you of course you do it for the ego boost. What I found is that I liked the ego boost of knowing they wanted to sleep with me, but when it came down to it I didn't really want to have sex with them.
For me online dating became the thing I did to occupy me and stop me thinking about my divorce and what was happening to me. So I would spend every evening chatting to women and arranging a date for a Friday and Saturday night. I would start early on in the week with some banker dates, and if something better came along I would cancel on them and arrange something with the new girl.
The thing is, looking back I didn't even enjoy it that much and it all got very expensive. None of the women ever offered to pay so you are looking at £500 a month minimum on just going out. The number of times I walked back to my car after spending £80 on dinner thinking "well that was a waste of time and money" was unreal.
Yes eventually it got to the point where I used to take extra clothes and toiletries with me as I pretty much knew every date was guaranteed sex but I was only doing it for the ego boost, not because I wanted to sleep with these women.
Until you are comfortable in your own skin again I probably wouldn't recommend it.
Oh and never, ever believe a woman who says she is on the pill or can't get pregnant. The amount of women who are happy to have sex without protection is scary, plus the last thing you want is to get one of them pregnant.
Harry Flashman said:
Chaps, this is not a tale of my own as Lady F remains bamboozled with rohypnol and thus hopelessly in love with me, when she can remember who she is (reminds me, I need to top up my supply), but a cautionary tale from a visit to a dear friend on Sunday.
....
Firstly, ....
Secondly, your mate's a knob for sticking around as his wife sounds like a weapons grade
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