Being told " I don't love you anymore"

[MB140]

Paddy_N_Murphy said:

Can I recommend instead the Fontaine Pajot 47, Owners Version ?

The lagoon 410 is a big boat for one person to rattle about in. The pajot 47 is even bigger I assume. In reality I would look at something smaller maybe a prout 37 elite in reality. £80k buys a beautifully maintained ready to cat. The lagoon 410 which I have had a look around and think is beautiful in reality is a £150k+ boat. Far to big for me on my own to rattle about in.

Anyway sorry to digress the thread. It’s just a dream of mine.

[The Selfish Gene]

I think this is my favourite thread for awhile, as I was always thinking I was a bit of a freak, turns out i'm not the only freak around.

It's such an amazing feeling to be this free constantly.

This morning I was planning my around the world trip on the new motorbike - it's a big plan and will require some saving, but I have no ties and that's dream come true stuff for me.

[MYOB]

The Selfish Gene said:

This morning I was planning my around the world trip on the new motorbike - it's a big plan and will require some saving, but I have no ties and that's dream come true stuff for me.

Lucky sod!

[The Selfish Gene]

MYOB said:

The Selfish Gene said:

This morning I was planning my around the world trip on the new motorbike - it's a big plan and will require some saving, but I have no ties and that's dream come true stuff for me.

Lucky sod!

thanks it's going to take me over a year to plan it, visas etc............current plan is through Europe to Africa, both coasts (loosely) down West , up East then out across middle, China, phillipines, Australia, NZ, boat to South America, then same again there, zig zag across South America, North America, Canada and then across the frozen North, down to Scotland (visit the parents in Newcastle) and back to London.

I've just bought a spanking new GS1250 VVT for the adventure - taking delivery in November.

I think I need over 2 years 'away' but maybe 3 at a push.

[The Selfish Gene]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

she ain't freaky enough!!!!!!!!

[dmulally]

The Selfish Gene said:

I think this is my favourite thread for awhile, as I was always thinking I was a bit of a freak, turns out i'm not the only freak around.

It's such an amazing feeling to be this free constantly.

This morning I was planning my around the world trip on the new motorbike - it's a big plan and will require some saving, but I have no ties and that's dream come true stuff for me.

If New Zealand is on the cards then let me know. Have a workshop and a bed on my farm no worries.

[MYOB]

The Selfish Gene said:

thanks it's going to take me over a year to plan it, visas etc............current plan is through Europe to Africa, both coasts (loosely) down West , up East then out across middle, China, phillipines, Australia, NZ, boat to South America, then same again there, zig zag across South America, North America, Canada and then across the frozen North, down to Scotland (visit the parents in Newcastle) and back to London.

I've just bought a spanking new GS1250 VVT for the adventure - taking delivery in November.

I think I need over 2 years 'away' but maybe 3 at a push.

Fantastic. So envious. But don't rely on planning too much. You don't necessarily need to get the visas in advance. But yeah, do your research. For example, if you went through Iran, I believe there may be difficulties getting into US. I'm not sure but this is where research is required.

Look forward to the thread in due course.

[smack]

MYOB said:

But yeah, do your research. For example, if you went through Iran, I believe there may be difficulties getting into US. I'm not sure but this is where research is required.

If you have visited to Iran, Iraq, Libya, Sudan, Somalia, Syria or Yeman since March 2011 you basically (a few exceptions, like US Government sanctioned work) can't get an US ESTA, and need to apply for a Visa, so increased cost and have to visit the US Embassy. Some people have used a 2nd passport which they never use to travel to the US and have got away with it. Passing through land borders it is less likely the data will get passed through to the US, unlike Airline passenger lists which I'm sure are more available for 3rd Party countries to view.

[hutchst]

It's not easy, road-wise, up the East side of Africa north of Nairobi

[GT03ROB]

hutchst said:

It's not easy, road-wise, up the East side of Africa north of Nairobi

The west side isn't much better & as for the central region.....

[anonymous-user]

kapiteinlangzaam said:

Alright, got my first Tinder date lined up for Friday.

Wondering if my organs might get harvested.

Also, fk, talking to people, looking interested etc. Forgotten how to do that after 10yrs. Gonna take some concentration

Did you :

1)Wake up in a bath of ice with your Kidneys removed?

Or

2)Wake up In her bed and ended up using her ex's deodorant after your shower?

Or

3)Pay for dinner, get a peck on the cheek in the car park and a "Thank you for last night but I felt there was no spark" text message the next day?

[RC1807]

Joey Deacon said:

Did you :

1)Wake up in a bath of ice with your Kidneys removed?

Or

2)Wake up In her bed and ended up using her ex's deodorant after your shower?

Or

3)Pay for dinner, get a peck on the cheek in the car park and a "Thank you for last night but I felt there was no spark" text message the next day?

3 then 1!

[Toyoda]

Joey Deacon said:

kapiteinlangzaam said:

Alright, got my first Tinder date lined up for Friday.

Wondering if my organs might get harvested.

Also, fk, talking to people, looking interested etc. Forgotten how to do that after 10yrs. Gonna take some concentration

Did you :

1)Wake up in a bath of ice with your Kidneys removed?

Or

2)Wake up In her bed and ended up using her ex's deodorant after your shower?

Or

3)Pay for dinner, get a peck on the cheek in the car park and a "Thank you for last night but I felt there was no spark" text message the next day?

If you're reading this kapiteinlangzaam, head over to the match vol 6 thread and feel free to chip in. I suspect many from this thread will end up with tales to tell over there.

https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...

[The Selfish Gene]

dmulally said:

If New Zealand is on the cards then let me know. Have a workshop and a bed on my farm no worries.

thank you - that's very kind!

[antspants]

Quick question for those who are now divorced... if my wife and I agree how to split our finances as we seperate, can a court change that agreement say 12 months down the line even if we are still in agreement and have split the assets accordingly?

As I've mentioned we're trying to enable our split to happen quickly so we can move on with our lives, which means she has found a new rented flat and I'm remortgaging to release equity. My concern is that should she walk away with 50% of equity, savings etc, when it comes to divorcing in the months that follow could a court rule that there is more to pay even if she's not asking for it?

I know I'm applying a large element of trust in my wife as we seperate that she's not going to change her mind about what we've agreed, but assuming that's well founded are there any other factors to consider.

[Cold]

antspants said:

Quick question for those who are now divorced... if my wife and I agree how to split our finances as we seperate, can a court change that agreement say 12 months down the line even if we are still in agreement and have split the assets accordingly?

As I've mentioned we're trying to enable our split to happen quickly so we can move on with our lives, which means she has found a new rented flat and I'm remortgaging to release equity. My concern is that should she walk away with 50% of equity, savings etc, when it comes to divorcing in the months that follow could a court rule that there is more to pay even if she's not asking for it?

I know I'm applying a large element of trust in my wife as we seperate that she's not going to change her mind about what we've agreed, but assuming that's well founded are there any other factors to consider.

Possibly, but only if the judge considers the settlement to be grossly unfair towards one of you. Make sure she has had at least some legal advice as a way of preempting this if you're worried.

[mr_spock]

antspants said:

Quick question for those who are now divorced... if my wife and I agree how to split our finances as we seperate, can a court change that agreement say 12 months down the line even if we are still in agreement and have split the assets accordingly?

As I've mentioned we're trying to enable our split to happen quickly so we can move on with our lives, which means she has found a new rented flat and I'm remortgaging to release equity. My concern is that should she walk away with 50% of equity, savings etc, when it comes to divorcing in the months that follow could a court rule that there is more to pay even if she's not asking for it?

I know I'm applying a large element of trust in my wife as we seperate that she's not going to change her mind about what we've agreed, but assuming that's well founded are there any other factors to consider.

Yes. Let's say you get a big bonus, or you win the lottery, or inherit some money. She can come after that. You need a Consent Order signed by the court. If you've agreed, go to wikivorce and use their service.

[CastroSays]

antspants said:

Quick question for those who are now divorced... if my wife and I agree how to split our finances as we seperate, can a court change that agreement say 12 months down the line even if we are still in agreement and have split the assets accordingly?

As I've mentioned we're trying to enable our split to happen quickly so we can move on with our lives, which means she has found a new rented flat and I'm remortgaging to release equity. My concern is that should she walk away with 50% of equity, savings etc, when it comes to divorcing in the months that follow could a court rule that there is more to pay even if she's not asking for it?

I know I'm applying a large element of trust in my wife as we seperate that she's not going to change her mind about what we've agreed, but assuming that's well founded are there any other factors to consider.

You know antspants, I can't help reading your posts without thinking you've already got a bit on the side, or at least lined up and waiting in the wings.

Even with a kid, you just cannot get out of there fast enough can you?

I wonder if your wife had also picked up on this and that's what has set this train of events in motion........

So please either come clean or at least lay off the application for sainthood that you seem to be trying so hard to show on here.

Edited by CastroSays on Tuesday 23 October 02:04

[yanyan]

I started reading this thread a few days ago and find it compulsive reading. Can someone help me though? Am I right in saying that the OP buggered off about 80 pages ago and hasn't been seen since?

[Coolbanana]

The Selfish Gene said:

....

I guess I went the other way - I just assumed they were all bad, and didn't risk it.

It's easy to sit here now and be thankful I didn't get fleeced, but I'm sure there are plenty of guys out there that have very happy marriages and arent' going to get fleeced.

For me, I just didn't want to risk it.

I used to think along the same lines as you...

Deliberately never got involved with anyone, didn't want kids, enjoyed my freedom to do as I wished.

Then I met my wife, 14 years ago. Divorced with 2 young kids. We clicked and I remember making the decision to allow myself see her more...selfishly, it was partly because I felt the risk was worth it given she earned double my income despite mine being ok!

Today, we are happily married, kids at University, own 2 homes outright, I'm semi-retired, she will be retired in 4 years when we'll both be 53.
I still don't have my own kids, even the dog is hers and we jointly own our homes - that she paid more than I did for.

Looking back, I'm so glad I made the decision to share my life with someone I love and experience raising kids.

Admittedly, being pragmatic and careful in a selfish way, my choices have meant raising kids that were away at their Dad's every Wednesday, every other weekend and half holidays - giving my wife and I plenty of alone time - and never having to worry about losing any of my own accrued wealth should we ever part ways thanks to marrying someone who earns a lot more.

My Dad is on his 5th marriage. Happily for him, he has always had pre-nups that were successfully enforced.
He is even still great friends with his 2nd wife who he and his latest wife, spend 3 months of every year with. And yes, it is a threesome scenario!

I guess, if you can be careful with your choices at the very beginning of any relationship, before emotions are invested by deliberately planning for a possible future exit should it arise - and statistics are such that I believe you have to consider such - then you run less risk of finding yourself financially stuffed down the line.

I suppose my approach wouldn't be for everyone, many will put heart and emotions first always. I chose not to get involved unless I felt endgame risks were low. Nothing you can do for emotional investment, naturally, that will always be painful in the event a marriage fails but you can pick yourself up from that and move on.