Being told " I don't love you anymore"
Discussion
MYOB said:
Two short pieces of advice from me...
Don't go to your wife's family do this weekend.
And get a full time job pronto. You will need to provide a stable home for your kid. You won't be able to do this on a part time job.
Good luck. I went through this myself over the past few years. It's hard but persevere. You will get there eventually.
It's about your child and yourself now. Do everything with your child in mind.
Thanks.Don't go to your wife's family do this weekend.
And get a full time job pronto. You will need to provide a stable home for your kid. You won't be able to do this on a part time job.
Good luck. I went through this myself over the past few years. It's hard but persevere. You will get there eventually.
It's about your child and yourself now. Do everything with your child in mind.
The family are coming to our house now. They will here with a load of my family. Holy s
t. That is going to be awkward. 
I will look for a proper full time job. The one I turned down the other day was only min wage. Looks like I need to get back into IT.
I'll also look for jobs nearer to my parent's. When I get settled I'll look for a place of my own.
Initforthemoney said:
Algarve said:
Initforthemoney said:
Why don’t you just move out?
That’ll sharpen her up a bit if you aren’t there to deal with stuff.
Where should he move to while they're struggling to pay their current mortgage?That’ll sharpen her up a bit if you aren’t there to deal with stuff.
Friends?
funkyrobot said:
Initforthemoney said:
Understood but surely being out of the environment will help non?
It'll help you focus.
I see what you are saying. I don't think it will help. I want to be here for my daughter as much as possible.It'll help you focus.
If pride comes into it, swallow it.
Time to take action and stop talking.
Initforthemoney said:
Totally agree, but both of you are putting her in that environment and so it is best if you remove yourself from it.
If pride comes into it, swallow it.
Time to take action and stop talking.
Trust me, pride doesn't come into it. If pride comes into it, swallow it.
Time to take action and stop talking.
I have read through this thread and it seems like me moving out too early is a bad thing to do.
funkyrobot said:
Initforthemoney said:
Totally agree, but both of you are putting her in that environment and so it is best if you remove yourself from it.
If pride comes into it, swallow it.
Time to take action and stop talking.
Trust me, pride doesn't come into it. If pride comes into it, swallow it.
Time to take action and stop talking.
I have read through this thread and it seems like me moving out too early is a bad thing to do.
(Granted, i haven't gone through the thread).
Initforthemoney said:
funkyrobot said:
Initforthemoney said:
Totally agree, but both of you are putting her in that environment and so it is best if you remove yourself from it.
If pride comes into it, swallow it.
Time to take action and stop talking.
Trust me, pride doesn't come into it. If pride comes into it, swallow it.
Time to take action and stop talking.
I have read through this thread and it seems like me moving out too early is a bad thing to do.
(Granted, i haven't gone through the thread).
It also means I have no say in what happens to our house. My stuff could disappear, the locks could be changed, someone else could be moved in etc. I guess the possibilities are endless.
I was forced out of my home and it didn't do me any harm. Through the family courts, everything was split 50/50. That's child contact and finances.
Moving out is not necessarily a problem, but just be warned, you will still be obligated to pay your share of the household bills if they are in both of your names.
If the household is toxic and affecting your child, moving out might be best for the child.
Moving out is not necessarily a problem, but just be warned, you will still be obligated to pay your share of the household bills if they are in both of your names.
If the household is toxic and affecting your child, moving out might be best for the child.
MYOB said:
I was forced out of my home and it didn't do me any harm. Through the family courts, everything was split 50/50. That's child contact and finances.
Moving out is not necessarily a problem, but just be warned, you will still be obligated to pay your share of the household bills if they are in both of your names.
If the household is toxic and affecting your child, moving out might be best for the child.
I understand the financial responsibility. In terms of our daughter, being here makes sense due to school runs and child care etc. My work is also less than a mile away.Moving out is not necessarily a problem, but just be warned, you will still be obligated to pay your share of the household bills if they are in both of your names.
If the household is toxic and affecting your child, moving out might be best for the child.
Interestingly, in relation to the bills, if I wasn't around to sort them and her out, nothing would be being sorted or paid.
funkyrobot said:
Initforthemoney said:
funkyrobot said:
Initforthemoney said:
Totally agree, but both of you are putting her in that environment and so it is best if you remove yourself from it.
If pride comes into it, swallow it.
Time to take action and stop talking.
Trust me, pride doesn't come into it. If pride comes into it, swallow it.
Time to take action and stop talking.
I have read through this thread and it seems like me moving out too early is a bad thing to do.
(Granted, i haven't gone through the thread).
It also means I have no say in what happens to our house. My stuff could disappear, the locks could be changed, someone else could be moved in etc. I guess the possibilities are endless.
It is putting an end to the situation.
At the end of the day, you have to face up to the fact that it really is over and putting yourself and your daughter through this on an almost daily basis is madness.
Your daughter will be safe and if anything is suspected, you can report your wife and it will be dealt with accordingly.
If she changes the locks on your property then seek legal advice.
No it isn’t easy but you have to start somewhere and that somewhere is getting out.
You said yourself you have mental health issues and so they are never going to be sorted until you are out of this poisonous relationship.
Something has to give.
MYOB said:
I was forced out of my home and it didn't do me any harm. Through the family courts, everything was split 50/50. That's child contact and finances.
...
I assume that there sufficient assets for both to have somewhere to live? As if there is only enough asset for one person to live and they have kids, then I think often the courts can say along the lines of 'parent with kids gets to stay till kids turn 18 and then can be sold'....
hyphen said:
MYOB said:
I was forced out of my home and it didn't do me any harm. Through the family courts, everything was split 50/50. That's child contact and finances.
...
I assume that there sufficient assets for both to have somewhere to live? As if there is only enough asset for one person to live and they have kids, then I think often the courts can say along the lines of 'parent with kids gets to stay till kids turn 18 and then can be sold'....
funkyrobot said:
I understand the financial responsibility. In terms of our daughter, being here makes sense due to school runs and child care etc. My work is also less than a mile away.
Interestingly, in relation to the bills, if I wasn't around to sort them and her out, nothing would be being sorted or paid.
Please don’t move out till you’ve finalised the house sale and access to your kid.Interestingly, in relation to the bills, if I wasn't around to sort them and her out, nothing would be being sorted or paid.
If you leave her in the house, she’s got everything she wants and could stall for months with you paying the mortgage and her claiming single person tax credits.
If I was advising her that’s what I would be telling her to do.
Edited by Alltrack on Saturday 31st August 08:48
funkyrobot said:
1. I am ok for now, but I'm not letting the erosion of my savings continue. My wife is also sat on a pot of money that could pay 2/3 of our mortgage off. She isn't in any financial difficulty.
You may or may not want to go after "your share" of this money but don't underestimate how useful it is that you may well have rights towards it..........Steve H said:
funkyrobot said:
1. I am ok for now, but I'm not letting the erosion of my savings continue. My wife is also sat on a pot of money that could pay 2/3 of our mortgage off. She isn't in any financial difficulty.
You may or may not want to go after "your share" of this money but don't underestimate how useful it is that you may well have rights towards it..........Certainly if she is refusing to contribute towards the mortgage ETC you could well be entitled to half of this.
Normally I would say morally individual savings are your individual savings however if she is not at least helping and making an effort then you should bring this up with the solicitor.
The most common approach currently taken by the courts (assuming we aren't discussing Russian or Saudi billionaires, labyrinthine trust funds and couples that have only been married for a few months) is that the courts will look to split assets 50:50 but it could well change if for example, one party has greater earnings potential going forward. The logic will be that if one party is left significantly worse off then why should the state have to pick up the tab.
Regardless of what the two parties agree between them, the agreement will have to be signed off by a judge and that person will most definitely look at whether the proposed agreement seems fair and takes into account things like that mentioned above. Pensions most definitely are on the table.
Regardless of what the two parties agree between them, the agreement will have to be signed off by a judge and that person will most definitely look at whether the proposed agreement seems fair and takes into account things like that mentioned above. Pensions most definitely are on the table.
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