Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

Author
Discussion

kowalski655

14,581 posts

142 months

Saturday 13th July 2019
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Monkeylegend said:
Fermit and Sexy Sarah said:
slipstream 1985 said:
Ha ha like that
Not intending to piss on the OP's Strawberries (as it is still a very good quip) but I recall it was used originally as a gag about why Concorde crashed in to the hotel.
Not intending to piss on your chickens but it was in use in jokes way before Concorde crashed.

You young uns have a lot to learn smile
Definitely an old one, like me, , I make no claims of originality

Rider007

211 posts

93 months

Monday 15th July 2019
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BMWBen said:
nonsequitur said:
Cotty said:
RammyMP said:
I’m glad it’s not just me that turns the water off when we go on holiday.

Last time we went away (bearing in mind I always turn it off following a leak about 5 years ago) the wife put the dish washer on which then beeped for 2 weeks as there was no water feed.
Why on earth would anyone put an appliance on when you are leaving the house for two weeks. The fridge-freezer and some wifi lights are all I would leave on.
No lights on timers to keep the bruglars at bay?
That one's such a load of bks tongue out There must've been some scaremongering in the Daily Mail back in the 70's/80's or something because lots of people of a certain age are a big fan of it.

If the burglars are sitting outside your house for hours on end to see that the lights turn on and off, they'll also notice that nobody has entered or left the property, and will probably have noticed that they haven't seen anyone moving around inside. They'll also be well aware that people of a certain age have lights on timers.

But that's probably not how they'll scope a place out anyway...
Ha , I was working in a house the other week and the owner who lives on his own sets a radio on a timer system to turn on at night "to ward off potential burglars". Place was like out of a time warp, nothing worth stealing in there anyway.Eg CRT TV's etc. Bloke was an ex copper also.

PositronicRay

26,943 posts

182 months

Monday 15th July 2019
quotequote all
Rider007 said:
BMWBen said:
nonsequitur said:
Cotty said:
RammyMP said:
I’m glad it’s not just me that turns the water off when we go on holiday.

Last time we went away (bearing in mind I always turn it off following a leak about 5 years ago) the wife put the dish washer on which then beeped for 2 weeks as there was no water feed.
Why on earth would anyone put an appliance on when you are leaving the house for two weeks. The fridge-freezer and some wifi lights are all I would leave on.
No lights on timers to keep the bruglars at bay?
That one's such a load of bks tongue out There must've been some scaremongering in the Daily Mail back in the 70's/80's or something because lots of people of a certain age are a big fan of it.

If the burglars are sitting outside your house for hours on end to see that the lights turn on and off, they'll also notice that nobody has entered or left the property, and will probably have noticed that they haven't seen anyone moving around inside. They'll also be well aware that people of a certain age have lights on timers.

But that's probably not how they'll scope a place out anyway...
Ha , I was working in a house the other week and the owner who lives on his own sets a radio on a timer system to turn on at night "to ward off potential burglars". Place was like out of a time warp, nothing worth stealing in there anyway.Eg CRT TV's etc. Bloke was an ex copper also.
Had he been burgled?

Shakermaker

11,317 posts

99 months

Monday 15th July 2019
quotequote all
PositronicRay said:
Had he been burgled?
And if not, was it because he had nothing worth stealing, or because of his security protocols?

Rider007

211 posts

93 months

Monday 15th July 2019
quotequote all
Shakermaker said:
And if not, was it because he had nothing worth stealing, or because of his security protocols?
Not been burgled ,just paranoid.As I said house was full full of tat

PositronicRay

26,943 posts

182 months

Monday 15th July 2019
quotequote all
Shakermaker said:
PositronicRay said:
Had he been burgled?
And if not, was it because he had nothing worth stealing, or because of his security protocols?
His strategy could well be paying off, having nothing to steal helps, but until they've braved the radio who'd know.

Roofless Toothless

5,590 posts

131 months

Monday 15th July 2019
quotequote all
Rider007 said:
Ha , I was working in a house the other week and the owner who lives on his own sets a radio on a timer system to turn on at night "to ward off potential burglars". Place was like out of a time warp, nothing worth stealing in there anyway.Eg CRT TV's etc. Bloke was an ex copper also.
His radio?

J4CKO

41,190 posts

199 months

Tuesday 16th July 2019
quotequote all
In Sainsbury’s yesterday, she is telling me something across the aisle, so I indicated I couldn’t hear, so she shouts, pointing down an aisle,

“I WILL GO DOWN FOR DOG TREATS”

Quite loudly, which amused me, and a few passers by....

cmvtec

2,188 posts

80 months

Tuesday 16th July 2019
quotequote all
J4CKO said:
In Sainsbury’s yesterday, she is telling me something across the aisle, so I indicated I couldn’t hear, so she shouts, pointing down an aisle,

“I WILL GO DOWN FOR DOG TREATS”

Quite loudly, which amused me, and a few passers by....
roflroflrofl

nonsequitur

20,083 posts

115 months

Tuesday 16th July 2019
quotequote all
Shakermaker said:
PositronicRay said:
Had he been burgled?
And if not, was it because he had nothing worth stealing, or because of his security protocols?
My ex burglar colleague used to say ' Every house has something worth stealing', even if the householder thinks otherwise.

havoc

29,881 posts

234 months

Tuesday 16th July 2019
quotequote all
J4CKO said:
In Sainsbury’s yesterday, she is telling me something across the aisle, so I indicated I couldn’t hear, so she shouts, pointing down an aisle,

“I WILL GO DOWN FOR DOG TREATS”

Quite loudly, which amused me, and a few passers by....
Scooby snacks?

SCEtoAUX

4,119 posts

80 months

Tuesday 16th July 2019
quotequote all
J4CKO said:
In Sainsbury’s yesterday, she is telling me something across the aisle, so I indicated I couldn’t hear, so she shouts, pointing down an aisle,

“I WILL GO DOWN FOR DOG TREATS”

Quite loudly, which amused me, and a few passers by....
I assume you have a dog.

budgie smuggler

5,351 posts

158 months

Tuesday 16th July 2019
quotequote all
J4CKO said:
In Sainsbury’s yesterday, she is telling me something across the aisle, so I indicated I couldn’t hear, so she shouts, pointing down an aisle,

“I WILL GO DOWN FOR DOG TREATS”

Quite loudly, which amused me, and a few passers by....
biglaugh

J4CKO

41,190 posts

199 months

Tuesday 16th July 2019
quotequote all
SCEtoAUX said:
J4CKO said:
In Sainsbury’s yesterday, she is telling me something across the aisle, so I indicated I couldn’t hear, so she shouts, pointing down an aisle,

“I WILL GO DOWN FOR DOG TREATS”

Quite loudly, which amused me, and a few passers by....
I assume you have a dog.
Good point, but yes, comprehensive restock of treats, along with her most packaging/least food/maximum cost purchases. If it’s a fiver, and you get 4 * 20 grammes and it has protein in it, in it goes.

I did suggest she at least holds out for chocolates.


glenrobbo

34,998 posts

149 months

Tuesday 16th July 2019
quotequote all
cmvtec said:
J4CKO said:
In Sainsbury’s yesterday, she is telling me something across the aisle, so I indicated I couldn’t hear, so she shouts, pointing down an aisle,

“I WILL GO DOWN FOR DOG TREATS”

Quite loudly, which amused me, and a few passers by....
roflroflrofl
She's really begging for it, isn't she? biggrin

yellow elan

55 posts

70 months

Tuesday 16th July 2019
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We were recently on Holiday in Aberystwyth where we found a good pub. My wife was on her 3rd glass of wine(danger zone) when a young couple came in with a sheepdog with three legs. My wife loudly said look at that poor dog its only got one leg. I said no it has got three legs. You know what I mean was the reply. Couldn't make it up!

Frimley111R

15,490 posts

233 months

Tuesday 16th July 2019
quotequote all
Mrs 111R 'Are penguins birds?'

And watching all the birds in the back garden she says 'Great Tits are the big ones' . Hard to disagree hehe

LHRFlightman

1,925 posts

169 months

Tuesday 16th July 2019
quotequote all
Just before we left to go on holiday, I turned the water off. Wife told me not to as "it would stop the fridge freezer from working"

Bless.

CanAm

9,092 posts

271 months

Tuesday 16th July 2019
quotequote all
LHRFlightman said:
Just before we left to go on holiday, I turned the water off. Wife told me not to as "it would stop the fridge freezer from working"

Bless.
Now make up your mind! biggrin Last week she said:-

LHRFlightman said:
Left the house to go on holiday and turned off the water under the sink.

Wife: "If you turn the water off, won't that break the fridge?"

PositronicRay

26,943 posts

182 months

Tuesday 16th July 2019
quotequote all
CanAm said:
LHRFlightman said:
Just before we left to go on holiday, I turned the water off. Wife told me not to as "it would stop the fridge freezer from working"

Bless.
Now make up your mind! biggrin Last week she said:-

LHRFlightman said:
Left the house to go on holiday and turned off the water under the sink.

Wife: "If you turn the water off, won't that break the fridge?"
Maybe they take many holidays, and she's a bit slow.

Fortunately Mrs PR is sharp as a whip, if she was "slow" I'd not be inclined to boast.