Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

[Jasey_]

Watching the Crystal Maze and the Mrs says "I was explaining to the girls in the office how difficult that game was with the colours"

I said "Which one ?"

She Said "The one where they got a crystal when they finished it".

[Vipers]

Wife's drinking from a bottle of water says "When we are in Sainsbury's I'll get some H2O"

I said "Your drinking some now, do you mean J2O."

[Hasbeen]

sparks_190e said:

Glancing across at the dashboard instruments “your speedo is broken we are definitely going faster than 20”

She was looking at the rev counter.

Way back in the early 60s when we still raced road registered cars, I wanted to test my somewhat tuned Morgan +4 before an up coming race meeting. I had a quiet country back road near by, with a 2 mile stretch of derestricted straight good road, with no side streets or property entrances, & very little traffic. I regularly used this stretch to test the cars acceleration was up to standard.

My folks were visiting that night, & mum asked could she come, as she had not ridden in the new Morgan. She was the type of lady who complained if dad exceeded 50 MPH, but took her anyway.

I had a spot where if I came off a bridge at 60, I would be doing 117 by a large white trunked ghost gum tree. The car was up to scratch & was just under 120 MPH at my tree. Mum had neither screamed or said a word.

Back home she thanked me for the ride, & particularly for keeping my speed down. She did not realise that the thing infront of the driver showing 60 was the rev counter. The speedo in the 62 Morgan was infront of the passenger, & was reading just on 120 MPH.

[bobtail4x4]

similar, my mum was still learning to drive a year or so after I passed,
took her out in my celica, she was driving for the practice,

we seemed to be passing most things on the duel carriageway,
I looked over we were well over 100, "are we going a bit fast?" her reply... "Im only doing 45mph", she was looking at the tacho.

[Jasey_]

Mrs Jasey was looking at the car computer and the Range was 298 - She asked how the car knew where we were going !

[g3org3y]

Not spoken, but actions.

Wife has managed to reverse the car (with tow bar) into the wooden garage door splintering it.

Remarkably, she also managed to hit (and scuff) the rear bumper in the process (the logistics of which still defy me somewhat).

She's almost 31 weeks pregnant. I didn't shout at her...

[illmonkey]

Watching top gear tonight, I said that will Young’s T-shirt said “home sapien” (turns out it’s a name of one of his songs), it was a bit weird to have the space. She didn’t understand me, so I said to her that she is a homosapien, to which she replied “no, I’m heterosexual”.

Obviously I burst out laughing and explained, likening her to Joey from friends, with the whole “if the homosapiens were really HOMOsapiens, is that why they are extinct” question.

Mental.

Edited by illmonkey on Tuesday 23 July 22:58

[Blown2CV]

illmonkey said:

Watching top gear tonight, I said that will Young’s T-shirt said “home sapien” (turns out it’s a name of one of his songs), it was a bit weird to have the space. She didn’t understand me, so I said to her that she is a homosapien, to which she replied “no, I’m heterosexual”.

Obviously I burst out laughing and explained, likening her to Joey from friends, with the whole “if the homosapiens were really HOMOsapiens, is that why they are extinct” question.

Mental.

Edited by illmonkey on Tuesday 23 July 22:58

i think he put the space in because he's gay and it could be said to be some kind of pun.

[havoc]

illmonkey said:

Watching top gear tonight, I said that will Young’s T-shirt said “home sapien” (turns out it’s a name of one of his songs), it was a bit weird to have the space.

Erm, there IS a space in the latin name for humans.

To distinguish us from homo neanderthalis, homo erectus, homo habilis, homo floriensis, etc. etc.

[glenrobbo]

Jasey_ said:

Watching the Crystal Maze and the Mrs says "I was explaining to the girls in the office how difficult that game was with the colours"

I said "Which one ?"

She Said "The one where they got a crystal when they finished it".

Swashbuckle?

[Evangelion]

I used to be a homo erectus, but alas old age has taken its toll.

[illmonkey]

Blown2CV said:

i think he put the space in because he's gay and it could be said to be some kind of pun.

Sure, I get that. But she thought Homosapien was gay...

havoc said:

Erm, there IS a space in the latin name for humans.

To distinguish us from homo neanderthalis, homo erectus, homo habilis, homo floriensis, etc. etc.

Think you're missing the point. But fine, I wasn't aware there was a space.

[glenrobbo]

illmonkey said:

Think you're missing the point. But fine, I wasn't aware there was a space.

Space: the final frontier...

[blueg33]

Watching a recorded programme on the Sky Box, she choose it and selected play. A trailer comes on advertising a programme in 10 minutes.

Mrs says "I want to watch that, so you will have to change the channel in 10 minutes"

Me................."???? we recorded this weeks ago. "

Her - "I know but that programme they just advertised is on in 10 minutes that's what they said"

10 minutes later she says "Will you turn over now"

Me "OK" I select the channel

Her "thats strange, its not on"

Me "gosh really?"

[Bobberoo99]

blueg33 said:

Watching a recorded programme on the Sky Box, she choose it and selected play. A trailer comes on advertising a programme in 10 minutes.

Mrs says "I want to watch that, so you will have to change the channel in 10 minutes"

Me................."???? we recorded this weeks ago. "

Her - "I know but that programme they just advertised is on in 10 minutes that's what they said"

10 minutes later she says "Will you turn over now"

Me "OK" I select the channel

Her "thats strange, its not on"

Me "gosh really?"

[Shakermaker]

blueg33 said:

Watching a recorded programme on the Sky Box, she choose it and selected play. A trailer comes on advertising a programme in 10 minutes.

Mrs says "I want to watch that, so you will have to change the channel in 10 minutes"

Me................."???? we recorded this weeks ago. "

Her - "I know but that programme they just advertised is on in 10 minutes that's what they said"

10 minutes later she says "Will you turn over now"

Me "OK" I select the channel

Her "thats strange, its not on"

Me "gosh really?"

My sister said something similar years ago, she put on a show recorded a few weeks earlier and then said "That's funny they're still advertising all the Christmas stuff now, its January!"

[Flibble]

illmonkey said:

Blown2CV said:

i think he put the space in because he's gay and it could be said to be some kind of pun.

Sure, I get that. But she thought Homosapien was gay...

havoc said:

Erm, there IS a space in the latin name for humans.

To distinguish us from homo neanderthalis, homo erectus, homo habilis, homo floriensis, etc. etc.

Think you're missing the point. But fine, I wasn't aware there was a space.

Also it's homo sapiens - that's not a plural.

[SpeckledJim]

Shakermaker said:

blueg33 said:

Watching a recorded programme on the Sky Box, she choose it and selected play. A trailer comes on advertising a programme in 10 minutes.

Mrs says "I want to watch that, so you will have to change the channel in 10 minutes"

Me................."???? we recorded this weeks ago. "

Her - "I know but that programme they just advertised is on in 10 minutes that's what they said"

10 minutes later she says "Will you turn over now"

Me "OK" I select the channel

Her "thats strange, its not on"

Me "gosh really?"

My sister said something similar years ago, she put on a show recorded a few weeks earlier and then said "That's funny they're still advertising all the Christmas stuff now, its January!"

DVR are up there with thermostats in terms of simply not getting it.

[blueg33]

SpeckledJim said:

DVR are up there with thermostats in terms of simply not getting it.

I've trained mine on thermostats - took about 20 years. I think the cat understood it before she did.

But I am yet to convince her that a pan of water that is boiling when the hob is set at 5 is exactly the same temperature as a pan of boiling water when the hob is turned up to 10. I have also tried explaining latent heat but that was a total fail.

[Jasey_]