Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2

[sc0tt]

Zoobeef said:

sc0tt said:

Why would you tell your wife that???

Because he wants to be a white knight and tell everyone about it.

Somewhere in an alternate universe, his wife is telling random strangers that her husband keeps telling her about him arguing over a little girl

[nonsequitur]

skilly1 said:

Watching the War of the Worlds, Mrs says who wrote this. I say H G Wells,

.

Assisted by his brother Tunbridge.

[Frimley111R]

Blown2CV said:

I was away with work and Mrs 2CV sends me a message to tell me she’s dropped her phone and she’s smashed the screen. Shortly followed by a screenshot...

[Ayahuasca]

Shuvi McTupya said:

Abbott said:

Not strictly a dumb remark as the Tide does move around the coast and is not the same at all locations at the same time.

It doesnt vary too much from one side of a river to the other though!

The vertical tidal height may be about the same, but the horizontal distance i.e. the bit you can actually see, the expanse of exposed ground, will depend on the profile of the river bank so it is a perfectly reasonable question.

[SCEtoAUX]

The welcome screen in our hotel room read "Welcome Mr Mr" for some reason.

"I wonder if the band is actually staying here" I said to Mrs SCE. At which point she thinks music and starts singing "Mister mister, can't you see I'm burning.....".

"No love, that's the Thompson Twins, you're thinking of 'Doctor Doctor'.

I suppose it could be the Consultant remix but FFS.

[cuprabob]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

Maybe his partner is Judge Rinder...

[HTP99]

A few days ago whilst I'm working out the food for Christmas day, the wife pipes up "it's terrible as there is so much food waste over Christmas as people go way over the top", which I agree with, anyway she then promptly asks me to get 3 desserts, there's only going to be 6 of us!

[PositronicRay]

HTP99 said:

A few days ago whilst I'm working out the food for Christmas day, the wife pipes up "it's terrible as there is so much food waste over Christmas as people go way over the top", which I agree with, anyway she then promptly asks me to get 3 desserts, there's only going to be 6 of us!

1/2 a pudding each sounds pretty restrained.

[Robbo 27]

Sometimes she can be funny even when she is pi55ed off.

In bed:

"Take that thing out of my back, what do you think you are. an armed robber?"

[Skyedriver]

Robbo 27 said:

Sometimes she can be funny even when she is pi55ed off.

In bed:

"Take that thing out of my back, what do you think you are. an armed robber?"

LOL

[PositronicRay]

Skyedriver said:

Robbo 27 said:

Sometimes she can be funny even when she is pi55ed off.

In bed:

"Take that thing out of my back, what do you think you are. an armed robber?"

LOL

I've been watching some back episodes of the sweeny, reminds me of cool for cats.

[CoolC]

Blown2CV said:

I was away with work and Mrs 2CV sends me a message to tell me she’s dropped her phone and she’s smashed the screen. Shortly followed by a screenshot...

That one really tickled me

[CoupeKid]

Mrs CK asked her brother what we could bring for Christmas dinner.
He suggested crackers.
She was actually going to buy cheese biscuits until I pointed out he probably meant those things that go bang.
In defence of SWMBO she’s usually pretty switched on but the MIL is staying at the moment which is pretty stressful for everyone.

[Blown2CV]

CoupeKid said:

Mrs CK asked her brother what we could bring for Christmas dinner.
He suggested crackers.
She was actually going to buy cheese biscuits until I pointed out he probably meant those things that go bang.
In defence of SWMBO she’s usually pretty switched on but the MIL is staying at the moment which is pretty stressful for everyone.

when i read line 2 of your post i thought the same as your Mrs

[CoupeKid]

Blown2CV said:

CoupeKid said:

Mrs CK asked her brother what we could bring for Christmas dinner.
He suggested crackers.
She was actually going to buy cheese biscuits until I pointed out he probably meant those things that go bang.
In defence of SWMBO she’s usually pretty switched on but the MIL is staying at the moment which is pretty stressful for everyone.

when i read line 2 of your post i thought the same as your Mrs

Perhaps it’s me and I should go straight to the Council thread?

[waynedear]

Watching top gear Africa special today, a map of Africa is shown with the path of the Nile.
Up pipes herself, “I still don’t get how the water can flow from south to north”
I answered bemused “what” she replied “look at the map, it has to go up”

[jontykint]

Did anybody else’s Mrs forget to pick up 4kg of Prime Rib today?

Happy Xmas.

bks.

Edited by jontykint on Tuesday 24th December 23:40

[Doofus]

jontykint said:

Did anybody else’s Mrs forget to pick up 4kg of Prime Rib today?

Happy Xmas.

bks.

Edited by jontykint on Tuesday 24th December 23:40

No, but as I was going past the butcher's at around 5pm, he gave me a free one that apparently somebody didn't want.

Cheers!

[Fast and Spurious]

waynedear said:

Watching top gear Africa special today, a map of Africa is shown with the path of the Nile.
Up pipes herself, “I still don’t get how the water can flow from south to north”
I answered bemused “what” she replied “look at the map, it has to go up”

I hope she's a looker and/or utter filth in the sack.

[PositronicRay]

Doofus said:

jontykint said:

Did anybody else’s Mrs forget to pick up 4kg of Prime Rib today?

Happy Xmas.

bks.

Edited by jontykint on Tuesday 24th December 23:40

No, but as I was going past the butcher's at around 5pm, he gave me a free one that apparently somebody didn't want.

Cheers!

A bloke collecting his fancy dress costume, a giant 6' condom. Happily walking home, with it tucked under his arm.

Wanted some steak for dinner so popped into the butchers, and cheerily exclaimed "a pound of fillet" butcher (sharp as a whip) retorts. A fiver you don't.