Classic from the Mrs! Vol 2
Discussion
nonsequitur said:
BT Summers said:
She thinks she is so damn funny
We needed some work on floorboards.
Me: Is Dave at your place a carpenter, can he do the work?
Her. Yes but its Monday today.
Me, Doesn't he work mondays?
Her, No, they get him down.
Boom Boom.We needed some work on floorboards.
Me: Is Dave at your place a carpenter, can he do the work?
Her. Yes but its Monday today.
Me, Doesn't he work mondays?
Her, No, they get him down.
Nope, only just begun.
Not my wife, but the MIL of one of my nieces.
She’d dropped in to visit my niece, and my niece poured her a glass of wine.
She looked at the glass, which was inscribed, “To Kelly, my favourite niece”, and said, “That’s nice, who gave it to you?”
Kelly said, “Frank, Nicky’s husband, but you know what a kidder he is, he had one made for Zöe and Yvonne too.”
The MIL said, “Really? So you’ve all got a wine glass engraved with “To Kelly, my favourite niece?”
She’d dropped in to visit my niece, and my niece poured her a glass of wine.
She looked at the glass, which was inscribed, “To Kelly, my favourite niece”, and said, “That’s nice, who gave it to you?”
Kelly said, “Frank, Nicky’s husband, but you know what a kidder he is, he had one made for Zöe and Yvonne too.”
The MIL said, “Really? So you’ve all got a wine glass engraved with “To Kelly, my favourite niece?”
HTP99 said:
Had the A/C clearing the screen and generally keeping the car from fogging up conversation a few days ago, "oh I didn't know that" arghhhhhh I only told you the same last year!
Much like the heating thermostat, it's a perpetual cycle of explaining how they both work!
We’ve had the thermostat chat a couple of times over the weekend. Happens every year several times.Much like the heating thermostat, it's a perpetual cycle of explaining how they both work!
Last night we agreed to leave the thermostat at 3, it’s been at 1 and 4 today. Sun shines in , heats the room up , radiator gets turned to 1. Sun dips , room starts to get chilly , radiator gets cranked to 4 ... ad infinitum
I’m looking for the T chat for pre school age to see if that will be easier to understand.
Waitforme said:
HTP99 said:
Had the A/C clearing the screen and generally keeping the car from fogging up conversation a few days ago, "oh I didn't know that" arghhhhhh I only told you the same last year!
Much like the heating thermostat, it's a perpetual cycle of explaining how they both work!
We’ve had the thermostat chat a couple of times over the weekend. Happens every year several times.Much like the heating thermostat, it's a perpetual cycle of explaining how they both work!
Last night we agreed to leave the thermostat at 3, it’s been at 1 and 4 today. Sun shines in , heats the room up , radiator gets turned to 1. Sun dips , room starts to get chilly , radiator gets cranked to 4 ... ad infinitum
I’m looking for the T chat for pre school age to see if that will be easier to understand.
Last monday, I reset the combi-boiler timer clock from BST to GMT, and whilst I was there in the depths of the bathroom airing cupboard, with a torch and magnifier, I reprogrammed the intricate day-to-day on/off central heating cycles to reflect our forthcoming winter heating requirements taking into account both comfort and economy.
I set the boiler output to a nominal setting of 4.5/9 to ensure a modicum of comfort coupled with maximum efficiency.
This morning, I felt a bit chilly, and noticed that the radiators were only just barely tepid.
On checking the boiler programming controls, I noticed that the timer clock was showing 23:20 hrs, the mode selector had been moved from 'Run' to 'Set Programme', the central heating switch was on 'Constant', the boiler output was set to just 1/9, and the bathroom ( and kitchen ) windows were wide open.
WTF!???
Apparently her bedroom "had got too stuffy this morning".
My enquiry "Why not turn down the thermostat on the radiator next to your bed from 'Max' to '2' and open the top light of your bedroom window then?" was not well received.
Wooooooh!!! Apparently that's not how thermodynamics work. nono
She believes that it is far preferable to constantly circulate tepid water throughout the entire central heating system so that by the time the water is passing through the last couple of radiators, it is actually absorbing any residual heat from the room.
Constantly.
She will not be dictated to about when the heating goes on or off in her life.
Which explains that whilst she is in the bathroom, the whole house is cranked up to 9/9 and the bathroom window is open "so it doesn't all steam up."
( There is a ventilation extractor fan in the ceiling.)
But what do I know? I only gained a distinction in Applied Thermodynamics and pay the heating bills.
I'm certainly an absolute beginner when it comes to understanding female logic. rolleyes
I have conceded defeat and turned the fking lot off. The forecast tomorrow is quite mild, but I predict stormy weather ahead.
Zoobeef said:
Time for a Hive system and then you can monitor it from your phone.
We're both shielding in lockdown. No need for a Hive System. Or a Smart Meter that can save the world.
Both parties are constantly monitoring the domestic energy settings, consumption and requirements.
But it's entirely possible that only one may emerge when it's over...
Bullett said:
Don't get a Hive!
It's a brilliant piece of kit but it means she can adjust the thermostat at will from anywhere.
Turn on the hot water (but never turn if off again)
Really? I didn't think the BT Trimphone could even successfully make a phone call, never mind affect domestic heating settings.It's a brilliant piece of kit but it means she can adjust the thermostat at will from anywhere.
Turn on the hot water (but never turn if off again)
Edited by glenrobbo on Monday 2nd November 11:21
The wife likes to think that she is a bit of an "Eco Warrior", she does do her bit, she uses as little plastic as she can, she uses ecological cleaning products and does a few other bits too, however when it comes to the heating........
If I were to go through her purse and started chucking away a few quid here and there, she'd definitely have something to say about it!!
- whacks it up to "heat the house quicker" then forgets she's done it
- doesn't check for windows being open before putting the heating up
- never shuts the bathroom door, there is always a window open in the bathroom, thus you get a draught and of course the house gets a bit chillier
- going out to the tumble drier (it's in an out house), she never, ever shuts the front door, it's wide open whilst she farts about in the outhouse, claims she can's pull the door shut as her hands are full, I manage it using my feet, if you can't do that then put the basket down and close the door, to much faff apparently
- happily chats to a friend for 20 minutes across the open front door, heating going full tilt to heat the street
- always leaves lights on
- frequently pauses the TV to "do something quick", 30 minutes later, it's still on and paused
If I were to go through her purse and started chucking away a few quid here and there, she'd definitely have something to say about it!!
HTP99 said:
The wife likes to think that she is a bit of an "Eco Warrior", she does do her bit, she uses as little plastic as she can, she uses ecological cleaning products and does a few other bits too, however when it comes to the heating........
If I were to go through her purse and started chucking away a few quid here and there, she'd definitely have something to say about it!!
After one post read, I feel her pain.- whacks it up to "heat the house quicker" then forgets she's done it
- doesn't check for windows being open before putting the heating up
- never shuts the bathroom door, there is always a window open in the bathroom, thus you get a draught and of course the house gets a bit chillier
- going out to the tumble drier (it's in an out house), she never, ever shuts the front door, it's wide open whilst she farts about in the outhouse, claims she can's pull the door shut as her hands are full, I manage it using my feet, if you can't do that then put the basket down and close the door, to much faff apparently
- happily chats to a friend for 20 minutes across the open front door, heating going full tilt to heat the street
- always leaves lights on
- frequently pauses the TV to "do something quick", 30 minutes later, it's still on and paused
If I were to go through her purse and started chucking away a few quid here and there, she'd definitely have something to say about it!!
Just watched a TV quiz program. The contestants had to name 10 English counties ending in shire.
The quiz master asked somebody's missus, how are you on English counties?
She said 'What is the difference between a county and a town?
Quizmaster didn't answer, the husband rolled his eyes.
When it was the husband's turn he said Ayrshire.
The quiz master asked somebody's missus, how are you on English counties?
She said 'What is the difference between a county and a town?
Quizmaster didn't answer, the husband rolled his eyes.
When it was the husband's turn he said Ayrshire.
Edited by BT Summers on Monday 2nd November 17:46
SpeckledJim said:
nonsequitur said:
BT Summers said:
She thinks she is so damn funny
We needed some work on floorboards.
Me: Is Dave at your place a carpenter, can he do the work?
Her. Yes but its Monday today.
Me, Doesn't he work mondays?
Her, No, they get him down.
Boom Boom.We needed some work on floorboards.
Me: Is Dave at your place a carpenter, can he do the work?
Her. Yes but its Monday today.
Me, Doesn't he work mondays?
Her, No, they get him down.
Nope, only just begun.
Son is having guitar lesson via Zoom this afternoon, wife informs me I might need to stop streaming (watching YouTube) and walks out, fair enough.
5 minutes later she returns... why haven’t you stopped watching that!!!!!
Me: But you said might...not must
Her: I was being polite.
I tried to be clever and use the same ‘might’ when making a brew... it did not go down well.
5 minutes later she returns... why haven’t you stopped watching that!!!!!
Me: But you said might...not must
Her: I was being polite.
I tried to be clever and use the same ‘might’ when making a brew... it did not go down well.
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