Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)

[Evangelion]

Usget said:

A new Yorkshire-based startup is designing the next generation of EVs, using batteries made from discarded Wrigleys Extra.

They're calling it eByGum

Last I heard, that was a hallucinogenic drug you had to chew instead of swallowing.

[EarlOfHazard]

Laurel Green said:

What's white and fluffy and climbs up trees?

Meringueutan

[Laurel Green]

EarlOfHazard said:

Laurel Green said:

What's white and fluffy and climbs up trees?

Meringueutan

'Twas on CDWM and thought it worthy of inclusion.

[Hugh Jarse]

short fortune teller has escaped from prison: WARNING: small medium at large.

[familyguy1]

spent six hours linking all of my watches together to make a belt

it was a complete waist of time.

[Alex]

familyguy1 said:

spent six hours linking all of my watches together to make a belt

it was a complete waist of time.

[Evangelion]

A woman walked into a chemist and asked the assistant, "Do you sell condoms in extra large?"

“Yes, we do,” he replied. “Did you want to buy some?”

“No thanks,” she said. “But do you mind if I hang around here till somebody does?”

[mickk]

I booked an Asian prostitute last night but she arrived 3 hours late.

She loved me wrong time.

[lord trumpton]

I was in the army once and the Sergeant said to me: "What does surrender mean?" I said: "I give up!"

[ChemicalChaos]

I bought my mate an elephant for his front room.

"Thanks" he said

"Dont mention it" I replied

[MartG]

I used to own two bra factories. Unfortunately one went bust and the other has gone tits up.

[MartG]

Whatever you do in life, always give 100%.
Unless you're donating blood.....

[ApOrbital]

CC i think i need a parrot.

[Yex 450]

ApOrbital said:

CC i think i need a parrot.

It's in his front room................

[Alex]

Yex 450 said:

ApOrbital said:

CC i think i need a parrot.

It's in his front room................

Did you hear the one about an elephant on a skating rink?

I thought it would break the ice.

[Doofus]

ApOrbital said:

CC i think i need a parrot.

You had to bring that up, didn't you!

[Vaud]

[glenrobbo]

Yex 450 said:

ApOrbital said:

CC i think i need a parrot.

It's in his front room................

Made me chuckle!



Name a famous elephant jazz singer...


Elephants Gerald

[glenrobbo]

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

So they are completely invisible when hiding in cherry trees.

[Quickmoose]

glenrobbo said:

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

So they are completely invisible when hiding in cherry trees.

How do they get down from the tree?

they stand on a leaf and wait until Autumn