Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 8)

[schmunk]

Evangelion said:

Anerd. Isn't that what people in NewcastleHull call the positive terminal?

More like it.

[kowalski655]

Is the positive terminal where the happy planes arrive?

[Rude-boy]

kowalski655 said:

Is the positive terminal where the happy planes arrive?

No, it's an ebola victim with a smile singing 'things can only get better.'

[Muntu]

My dream job is to be a sound engineer.

I don't know why, I just want to - want to

[Alex]

Muntu said:

My dream job is to be a sound engineer.

I don't know why, I just want to - want to

[JLC25]

Muntu said:

My dream job is to be a sound engineer.

I don't know why, I just want to - want to

Mirror Cleaner - Now that's a job I can see myself doing.

[Caruso]

JLC25 said:

Mirror Cleaner - Now that's a job I can see myself doing.

I used to be a window cleaner until one day when I lost my rag and got fired.

[mickk]

Caruso said:

JLC25 said:

Mirror Cleaner - Now that's a job I can see myself doing.

I used to be a window cleaner until one day when I lost my rag and got fired.

What a pane!

[EarlOfHazard]

BREAKING NEWS

The inventor of the jug sadly passed away this afternoon.

Tributes are pouring in.

[Doofus]

EarlOfHazard said:

BREAKING NEWS

The inventor of the jug sadly passed away this afternoon.

Tributes are pouring in.

Must have been yesterday afternoon, surely. It's only a quarter past nine in the morning.

[glenrobbo]

Apparently not if you live in Hazard!



Strange, l always thought it was out west somewhere...

We used to sit down by the river...

Edited by glenrobbo on Thursday 27th April 09:30

[JLC25]

EarlOfHazard said:

BREAKING NEWS

The inventor of the jug sadly passed away this afternoon.

Tributes are pouring in.

The inventor of auto-correct died last week as well. I didn't even know he was I'll.

[twing]

JLC25 said:

The inventor of auto-correct died last week as well. I didn't even know he was I'll.

His funfair will be hello on Sundial.

[louiebaby]

Muntu said:

My dream job is to be a sound engineer.

I don't know why, I just want to - want to

I know a couple of blokes that do it, a Polish chap, and a Czech one too, a Czech one too.

[FredClogs]

louiebaby said:

Muntu said:

My dream job is to be a sound engineer.

I don't know why, I just want to - want to

I know a couple of blokes that do it, a Polish chap, and a Czech one too, a Czech one too.

- How long have you been a roadie?

- One, two, one, two.... Three or four years.

[CanAm]

twing said:

His funfair will be hello on Sundial.

That was the inventor of predicted texture.

[Halmyre]

louiebaby said:

Muntu said:

My dream job is to be a sound engineer.

I don't know why, I just want to - want to

I know a couple of blokes that do it, a Polish chap, and a Czech one too, a Czech one too.

There's a Spaniard, Juan, too.

[EarlOfHazard]

Doofus said:

EarlOfHazard said:

BREAKING NEWS

The inventor of the jug sadly passed away this afternoon.

Tributes are pouring in.

Must have been yesterday afternoon, surely. It's only a quarter past nine in the morning.

I posted it at 20:13 though.
Anyway, love this thread and often use it to either find a new joke, or see which the latest celebrity death is.

[tezzer]

I was feeling ill and lying on the sofa staring out of the window when I thought I saw a sausage fly past the window. Looking more closely I saw that it was really a seabird. I'd obviously taken a tern for the wurst.

[Muntu]

tezzer said:

I was feeling ill and lying on the sofa staring out of the window when I thought I saw a sausage fly past the window. Looking more closely I saw that it was really a seabird. I'd obviously taken a tern for the wurst.

I have a phobia of German sausages.


I fear the wurst