Misfits, Dad's Army Types et al...

Misfits, Dad's Army Types et al...

Author
Discussion

Starfighter

4,908 posts

177 months

Tuesday 5th November 2019
quotequote all
Hang on, cut the guy some slack here.

The badge has a poppy in it as is official RBL apparel for Remembrance Day.

https://www.poppyshop.org.uk/catalog/product/view/...

egor110

16,818 posts

202 months

Tuesday 5th November 2019
quotequote all
Crossflow Kid said:
GOATever said:
I’ve just watched this

https://www.channel5.com/show/bouncers/

It is Walt tastic. It’s Waltvana.
Since when did a bloody doorman need nationality-denoting insignia? FFS....
It would be pretty tragic if he's actually ex forces .

My barbers late 30's , in the Marines , left and did anti pirate work , came back trained as a barber and set himself up and supplements it with body guard for a couple of families when they visit Europe.

anonymous-user

53 months

Tuesday 5th November 2019
quotequote all
Starfighter said:
Hang on, cut the guy some slack here.

The badge has a poppy in it as is official RBL apparel for Remembrance Day.

https://www.poppyshop.org.uk/catalog/product/view/...
And he can’t wear a conventional poppy because?......

Starfighter

4,908 posts

177 months

Tuesday 5th November 2019
quotequote all
He doesn’t want the pin as it is a stab risk?

I did say some slack, maybe not a whole lot in this case.

GOATever

2,651 posts

66 months

Tuesday 5th November 2019
quotequote all
We are approaching peak Walt season. I know a few people that work in Security, some are Gen Vet’s, one sometimes wears his ( well earned ) bling, on his jacket as minis, because of remembrance. If you didn’t know the score, it would be easy to think he was just a screamer. Alternatively, there are lots who ( actually join in remembrance marches and such like) who wear racks on the left, who really shouldn’t. We also get a massive increase in ‘special 4x4 tactical extraction and rescue services’ and the like, as the weather worsens. Lots of amber beacons, battenbergs, and winches, on Defenders. It’s fun trying to work out when and where they’ll next mobilise.

anonymous-user

53 months

Tuesday 5th November 2019
quotequote all
Starfighter said:
He doesn’t want the pin as it is a stab risk?

I did say some slack, maybe not a whole lot in this case.
What pin? There are other ways to attach a Poppy without the SWAT team angle, as countless police officers (who encounter equal if not greater levels of violence) can testify.

Shakermaker

11,317 posts

99 months

Tuesday 5th November 2019
quotequote all
Crossflow Kid said:
What pin? There are other ways to attach a Poppy without the SWAT team angle, as countless police officers (who encounter equal if not greater levels of violence) can testify.
Yes, and he's chosen to buy this patch to do so?

Halmyre

11,148 posts

138 months

Tuesday 5th November 2019
quotequote all
egor110 said:
Crossflow Kid said:
GOATever said:
I’ve just watched this

https://www.channel5.com/show/bouncers/

It is Walt tastic. It’s Waltvana.
Since when did a bloody doorman need nationality-denoting insignia? FFS....
It would be pretty tragic if he's actually ex forces .

My barbers late 30's , in the Marines , left and did anti pirate work , came back trained as a barber and set himself up and supplements it with body guard for a couple of families when they visit Europe.
What, not as a cook?

"Yo, private, get my hot towels out of the autoclave"

anonymous-user

53 months

Tuesday 5th November 2019
quotequote all
Halmyre said:
What, not as a cook?

"Yo, private, get my hot towels out of the autoclave"
A friend of a friend when I met him spent a huge amount of time extolling his time in the forces, specifically his time in 'Afghan' I had nothing but respect for the guy, understandably didn't want to discuss too much about his time out there etc

Later that night another mate turned up and explained to me quietly that he had indeed served but he was a cook, on base, never saw any action

He was subsequently known as Steven Seagal biggrin

Scabutz

7,482 posts

79 months

Tuesday 5th November 2019
quotequote all
anonymous said:
[redacted]
Years ago I worked in a restaurant. This new chef came in who was a weapons grade prick. Told everyone he used to be in the marines and then trained as a chef. Turned out he was only in the TA and was a cook, and a crap one at that. He used to order in loads of cuppa soup and use that as a base. Would throw in a few veg and then say he made it. Used to tell me, and others, that I need some time in the military because I would slouch and not stand up straight. Trouble was the restaurant was in a 16th century cottage and the door height was about 5 ft, I was over 6ft so standing up straight wasn't really an option.

He got fired in the end for falsifying his timesheet.

anonymous-user

53 months

Tuesday 5th November 2019
quotequote all
Shakermaker said:
Crossflow Kid said:
What pin? There are other ways to attach a Poppy without the SWAT team angle, as countless police officers (who encounter equal if not greater levels of violence) can testify.
Yes, and he's chosen to buy this patch to do so?
Give it a rest.
He’s gone for the “tactical patch” because (mostly) the only other people seen wearing them are either:
A) serving military on ops or;
B) SO19 types in BMW X5s

anonymous-user

53 months

Friday 8th November 2019
quotequote all
Sheffield flooding: Torrential rain leaves city flooded https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-50333233
........
https://youtu.be/BfIAKj3Gl1E

DonkeyApple

54,934 posts

168 months

Friday 8th November 2019
quotequote all
thepawbroon said:
Hi,

I think I’ve found peak Hi-viz in my local area – fireworks/bonfire in the local park (which is round the corner from my house). I’ve never seen so many orange flashing lights, in broad daylight. In fact, one of the Surrey 4x4 rescue guys, who lives across the road from the park used his roof beacons while driving across the road…..which was closed to traffic!

My error was to get into the park at 1.55pm on foot, a whole five minutes prior to “Lock-Down Hour” as one of the walts informed me. My daughter and I took more than the regulation 5 minutes to cross the park, mainly because the whole place was covered in cordoned off areas where folk were setting up fireworks etc. No problem with the cordons. Safety First.

We arrived at Exit Gate No.2 at 2.01pm to be greeted with “Sorry Sir, Park is in Locked-Down Status now, the gates are not accessible to ordinary members of the public”. I explained that, if all the gates were locked, then we would be best leaving by his gate as I wouldn’t have to cross the danger zone with a surly 9 year old. That didn’t work. So we walked around 2 more exits (8 more minutes) to be greeted by the same answer. Eventually we got back to the gate we came in, which was being opened now and then to allow the orange flasher brigade in and out. We waited for the opportunity to spring our escape and toddled on ignoring the cries of “Excuse me sir, Sir you with the child, I’m going to have to ask you to halt Sir.”

The lock down status was lifted at 5pm, whereby ordinary members of the public were permitted to enter upon paying £5 a head to watch the 7pm fireworks. Which were outstandingly excellent and lasted for 29 minutes. Well done the Rotary for organising them.
We watched them, with a large bunch of friends and their kids, from our back garden. Safe in the knowledge that we were not overloading the walt brigade with additional HSE risk (and saving a chunk of cash).

Guy Fawkes never had this bother did he?
To be honest, I would have gone out the exact gate that I wanted to go out of and informed the ‘Collaberator in Waiting’, potential ‘Death Camp Operator’ (CiW & PDCO in swan fondler speech of this simple fact as I walked past him. Had he then started a physical assault then I’d have just called the Police to report an assault and a false imprisonment by a park weirdo in fancy dress.

Scabutz

7,482 posts

79 months

Friday 8th November 2019
quotequote all
Crossflow Kid said:
Sheffield flooding: Torrential rain leaves city flooded https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-50333233
........
https://youtu.be/BfIAKj3Gl1E

Shakermaker

11,317 posts

99 months

Friday 8th November 2019
quotequote all
Scabutz said:
One of the best 3 minutes of television ever made.

yellowjack

17,065 posts

165 months

Friday 8th November 2019
quotequote all
DonkeyApple said:
thepawbroon said:
Hi,

I think I’ve found peak Hi-viz in my local area – fireworks/bonfire in the local park (which is round the corner from my house). I’ve never seen so many orange flashing lights, in broad daylight. In fact, one of the Surrey 4x4 rescue guys, who lives across the road from the park used his roof beacons while driving across the road…..which was closed to traffic!

My error was to get into the park at 1.55pm on foot, a whole five minutes prior to “Lock-Down Hour” as one of the walts informed me. My daughter and I took more than the regulation 5 minutes to cross the park, mainly because the whole place was covered in cordoned off areas where folk were setting up fireworks etc. No problem with the cordons. Safety First.

We arrived at Exit Gate No.2 at 2.01pm to be greeted with “Sorry Sir, Park is in Locked-Down Status now, the gates are not accessible to ordinary members of the public”. I explained that, if all the gates were locked, then we would be best leaving by his gate as I wouldn’t have to cross the danger zone with a surly 9 year old. That didn’t work. So we walked around 2 more exits (8 more minutes) to be greeted by the same answer. Eventually we got back to the gate we came in, which was being opened now and then to allow the orange flasher brigade in and out. We waited for the opportunity to spring our escape and toddled on ignoring the cries of “Excuse me sir, Sir you with the child, I’m going to have to ask you to halt Sir.”

The lock down status was lifted at 5pm, whereby ordinary members of the public were permitted to enter upon paying £5 a head to watch the 7pm fireworks. Which were outstandingly excellent and lasted for 29 minutes. Well done the Rotary for organising them.
We watched them, with a large bunch of friends and their kids, from our back garden. Safe in the knowledge that we were not overloading the walt brigade with additional HSE risk (and saving a chunk of cash).

Guy Fawkes never had this bother did he?
To be honest, I would have gone out the exact gate that I wanted to go out of and informed the ‘Collaberator in Waiting’, potential ‘Death Camp Operator’ (CiW & PDCO in swan fondler speech of this simple fact as I walked past him. Had he then started a physical assault then I’d have just called the Police to report an assault and a false imprisonment by a park weirdo in fancy dress.
I suspect I wouldn't have been quick-witted enough, but I think I'd have told him that it was fine, I'd find a bench and await the display, and thank him for saving me the £5. I can't work out the logic myself. It would, on the surface at least, appear that it's absolute insanity to put a park "on lockdown" to exclude the general public, but then to prevent members of the general public from leaving said "danger area". But hey? Walt knows best, and he's got a yellow jacket to prove it... rolleyes

It reminds me of the chaos leaving a rained-off music festival in Derbyshire. Our car (a fwd Mondeo) was fully laden down with four adults and all our camping gear. We'd packed during a break in the rain. And the Walts were out in force, with their Land Rovers, blinking lights, and PPE. They were directing traffic to leave via a set route, and trying to get people to leave as soon as possible, yet some of their marked route was too sloppy for the average car to get through, and they were towing vehicles to the exit gate. The smart money was on one car at a time making the crossing of the field so that it wouldn't have to stop part way and be unable to get moving again, but no, they insisted in the usual slow-snaking queue. So I waited until all of the Walts were busy towing people from the queue, and made a dash for it across the field. I soon got to the bit where bark chip and hay had been spread at the gateway and we were away without needing any assistance from Walter & Co recovery and crowd control services.

But ordinary 'non-Walty' folk can be just as blinkered. One year at Goodwood FoS we ended up parked in the "wrong" car park (an accident had closed the Kennels car park we usually go to). We ended up at the bottom of a hill, and predictably it rained. Getting out was a free-for-all, with every idiot scrabbling to get out all at once. Many ended up stopped part-way up the greasy, wet hill, and were unable to get going up again. Thickos just revving the balls off their cars, sliding around, making the situation worse. Again, i waited at the bottom, and picked my moment to get an uninterrupted run at the hill and I was out of the gate at the top unassisted. And those idiots revving and sliding? If only they'd applied full lock, and rolled back to face down the hill, then come back for another go at it. The worst part was that plenty of oiks were tooting at me and trying to force me to go up when the hill wasn't clear, many of them going around me and having a crack at it, yet I was out before any of them. And behind me the hill was only getting worse with each failed attempt to get up it.

anonymous-user

53 months

Friday 8th November 2019
quotequote all
yellowjack said:
I suspect I wouldn't have been quick-witted enough, but I think I'd have told him that it was fine, I'd find a bench and await the display, and thank him for saving me the £5. I can't work out the logic myself. It would, on the surface at least, appear that it's absolute insanity to put a park "on lockdown" to exclude the general public, but then to prevent members of the general public from leaving said "danger area". But hey? Walt knows best, and he's got a yellow jacket to prove it... rolleyes

It reminds me of the chaos leaving a rained-off music festival in Derbyshire. Our car (a fwd Mondeo) was fully laden down with four adults and all our camping gear. We'd packed during a break in the rain. And the Walts were out in force, with their Land Rovers, blinking lights, and PPE. They were directing traffic to leave via a set route, and trying to get people to leave as soon as possible, yet some of their marked route was too sloppy for the average car to get through, and they were towing vehicles to the exit gate. The smart money was on one car at a time making the crossing of the field so that it wouldn't have to stop part way and be unable to get moving again, but no, they insisted in the usual slow-snaking queue. So I waited until all of the Walts were busy towing people from the queue, and made a dash for it across the field. I soon got to the bit where bark chip and hay had been spread at the gateway and we were away without needing any assistance from Walter & Co recovery and crowd control services.

But ordinary 'non-Walty' folk can be just as blinkered. One year at Goodwood FoS we ended up parked in the "wrong" car park (an accident had closed the Kennels car park we usually go to). We ended up at the bottom of a hill, and predictably it rained. Getting out was a free-for-all, with every idiot scrabbling to get out all at once. Many ended up stopped part-way up the greasy, wet hill, and were unable to get going up again. Thickos just revving the balls off their cars, sliding around, making the situation worse. Again, i waited at the bottom, and picked my moment to get an uninterrupted run at the hill and I was out of the gate at the top unassisted. And those idiots revving and sliding? If only they'd applied full lock, and rolled back to face down the hill, then come back for another go at it. The worst part was that plenty of oiks were tooting at me and trying to force me to go up when the hill wasn't clear, many of them going around me and having a crack at it, yet I was out before any of them. And behind me the hill was only getting worse with each failed attempt to get up it.
6/10
No hi vis
No cb chatter
No self importance
Actually being able to drive off road
See me.

yellowjack

17,065 posts

165 months

Friday 8th November 2019
quotequote all
5Cylinder said:
6/10
No hi vis
No cb chatter
No self importance
Actually being able to drive off road
See me.
Sorry boss! I'm also the idiot who drove a MkIV Escort up the Ridgeway and associated byways to get to an air show at Wroughton, to avoid insanely slow queues to get there. Farmers and off-road motorcyclists were doing double-takes as I drove past with my wife and kids. She was going mad, though, threatening me with all sorts of retribution if we got stuck up there ("the bloody AA won't tow you home from up here you fool!")

I also once span a Land Rover 110 through 720º on Salisbury Plain. Got the wheels stuck in a tank track rut going downhill in foul weather, but managed to come out of it rubber-side down at the bottom of the hill, facing the right way and with the engine still running. My boss wasn't impressed, but hey? He wasn't late for Battle Group Orders either... wink

anonymous-user

53 months

Monday 11th November 2019
quotequote all
I have a horrible feeling that this time of year really 'brings them out'.

I've seen a lot of people walking round these last few days with chests covered in medals, wearing berets and so on, and I can't help but look at some of them and think 'I bet you are a Walt'.

A quick google of the term 'Walts at remembrance' sadly brings up more stories and photos than you can read.

Sadly, the Walts among us spoil it for everyone as they end up casting suspicion on others.

GOATever

2,651 posts

66 months

Monday 11th November 2019
quotequote all
Lord Marylebone said:
I have a horrible feeling that this time of year really 'brings them out'.

I've seen a lot of people walking round these last few days with chests covered in medals, wearing berets and so on, and I can't help but look at some of them and think 'I bet you are a Walt'.

A quick google of the term 'Walts at remembrance' sadly brings up more stories and photos than you can read.

Sadly, the Walts among us spoil it for everyone as they end up casting suspicion on others.


It’s a shame that this type of plank have to do this sort of thing. But if you speak to an Ally Vet about their bling, they normally tend not to mind. The Walt’s get defensive, and can’t answer simple questions about them. After a while, you get to know what particular medals, and ribbons, and additions are, where they come from, what they should look like, and what they shouldn’t look like. I can spot a wrong’un pretty easily, and those are the ones I strike up a conversation with. The usual dead cert giveaway that it’s a Walt, are the EBay medals, with no engraving on the edge. They also get order of precedence wrong most of the time.


Edited by GOATever on Monday 11th November 13:10