Anyone else's wife faff about un-necessarily?
Discussion
johnwilliams77 said:
PotatoSalad said:
I must admit I feel lucky since my missus is generally a faff-free person, however her communication skills sometimes drive me mad. As a man I often ask simple questions expecting a simple answer and I receive an output of the stereotypical female brain thought process instead. Usually around scheduling something, a typical text conversation would go as follows:
ME: I'm heading off to town after work, I'll pick you up. Just say where and when.
HER: Sure that'll be nice.
ME: OK just tell me where and what time.
HER: I need to grab few things, do you want anything for the sandwiches tonight?
ME: So after the shops then?
HER: Yes, I'll pop in to the XYZ after work.
ME: So outside the XYZ? But what time?
I usually ask those kind of questions rushing through the door or already in the car so I don't have 15 minutes for interrogation. Arrrggghh.. just tell me the god damn place and time.
Yesterday we agreed to meet in our usual pub for a meal around 6:30. I texted her that I'm on my way but there's some traffic and asked to "just wait for me in the pub in case I'm late". (I stopped on a single yellow line to text, officer!)
10 minutes later my phone beeps "I'm already outside, do you want me to get a table?" sigh...
Have you clearly communicated this issue with her that you have?ME: I'm heading off to town after work, I'll pick you up. Just say where and when.
HER: Sure that'll be nice.
ME: OK just tell me where and what time.
HER: I need to grab few things, do you want anything for the sandwiches tonight?
ME: So after the shops then?
HER: Yes, I'll pop in to the XYZ after work.
ME: So outside the XYZ? But what time?
I usually ask those kind of questions rushing through the door or already in the car so I don't have 15 minutes for interrogation. Arrrggghh.. just tell me the god damn place and time.
Yesterday we agreed to meet in our usual pub for a meal around 6:30. I texted her that I'm on my way but there's some traffic and asked to "just wait for me in the pub in case I'm late". (I stopped on a single yellow line to text, officer!)
10 minutes later my phone beeps "I'm already outside, do you want me to get a table?" sigh...
Edited by PotatoSalad on Wednesday 19th July 14:45
One of the quirks of the relationship, just like my grumpiness before I get my morning tea or "losing" my glasses from time to time which she finds quickly in the most obvious place.
Edited by PotatoSalad on Friday 21st July 11:50
Shakermaker said:
In the same category as "faffing around" I think we can put "Trying to talk at precisely the least suitable moment"
An example from this morning, as soon as my wife is finished int he bathroom and comes out to start drying her hair etc, I go in for a quick wee as usual.
She chooses to wait until the precise moment when I flush and start washing my hands, to try and tell me through the closed door, that she doesn't want a cup of tea this morning as usual. Which means, I can't hear what she is actually saying over all the noises going on in the bathroom, just that she is saying something.
Why? Why not wait a few more seconds until I'm out of the bathroom and the noise is all subsided?
apparently though, it isn't her fault I can't hear her over all this noise, it is my fault because she thinks I am "deaf" in her words. Despite no evidence to back this up.
I'm actually deaf in one ear, you can imagine the arguments that causes An example from this morning, as soon as my wife is finished int he bathroom and comes out to start drying her hair etc, I go in for a quick wee as usual.
She chooses to wait until the precise moment when I flush and start washing my hands, to try and tell me through the closed door, that she doesn't want a cup of tea this morning as usual. Which means, I can't hear what she is actually saying over all the noises going on in the bathroom, just that she is saying something.
Why? Why not wait a few more seconds until I'm out of the bathroom and the noise is all subsided?
apparently though, it isn't her fault I can't hear her over all this noise, it is my fault because she thinks I am "deaf" in her words. Despite no evidence to back this up.
WinstonWolf said:
I'm actually deaf in one ear, you can imagine the arguments that causes
Yes, yes I can! There's no reasoning though.
"OK, if you believe I am going deaf, then why don't you make allowances for that in how you behave? You accuse me of being deaf, but still continue to try and talk to me from 2 rooms away/upstairs/through a closed door with the TV on/whilst I'm cooking something with the dishwasher going on and the extractor fan. Why don't you either a) wait until I'm in the room with you to make whatever banal point you have to make or b) come and get me, if it is important, rather than having to repeat what you want me to hear 3 or 4 times and then making me stop what I'm doing, to listing to your not actually important point at all..."
Shakermaker said:
WinstonWolf said:
I'm actually deaf in one ear, you can imagine the arguments that causes
Yes, yes I can! There's no reasoning though.
"OK, if you believe I am going deaf, then why don't you make allowances for that in how you behave? You accuse me of being deaf, but still continue to try and talk to me from 2 rooms away/upstairs/through a closed door with the TV on/whilst I'm cooking something with the dishwasher going on and the extractor fan. Why don't you either a) wait until I'm in the room with you to make whatever banal point you have to make or b) come and get me, if it is important, rather than having to repeat what you want me to hear 3 or 4 times and then making me stop what I'm doing, to listing to your not actually important point at all..."
Mound Dawg said:
Yes there is, but if I annoy her, I get to hear about it. For the next six months. Or I get three days of stony silence.
If on the other hand I point out that she's annoyed me I get to hear about it. For the next six months. Or I get three days of stony silence.
So I have to sneak off behind her back to vent.
Why is my Girlfriend hanging around with you? If on the other hand I point out that she's annoyed me I get to hear about it. For the next six months. Or I get three days of stony silence.
So I have to sneak off behind her back to vent.
Shakermaker said:
In the same category as "faffing around" I think we can put "Trying to talk at precisely the least suitable moment"
Why do women think it acceptable to try and talk to someone when they are in a different room. Common decency says if you want to talk to someone, go and speak to them. Speaking in a normal voice in a different room and then berating the person for not hearing is impolite.I swear this is why she claims she told me something. Apparently its because I'm not listening.
Well, no I'm not if I'm 3 rooms away, you've got the TV on, I'm cooking and the dishwasher and extractor are running.
I often get "bullett....." then silence. After me going "yes?" a few times I'll stop what I'm doing and go see her. Only to find out that her brain has apparently timed out.
Well, no I'm not if I'm 3 rooms away, you've got the TV on, I'm cooking and the dishwasher and extractor are running.
I often get "bullett....." then silence. After me going "yes?" a few times I'll stop what I'm doing and go see her. Only to find out that her brain has apparently timed out.
How about starting the chores in the least suitable moment?
I come home after work, give the daughter something to do and make myself a nice cup of hot earl grey to sip in the kitchen while the dinner is cooking. Missus comes back home and starts doing the dishes, sweeping the floor or rummaging in a cupboard. I ask her to stop and give me 15 minutes to relax before we start the evening routine, all fine, she find something else to do upstairs.
Few days later she starts this all over again..
I come home after work, give the daughter something to do and make myself a nice cup of hot earl grey to sip in the kitchen while the dinner is cooking. Missus comes back home and starts doing the dishes, sweeping the floor or rummaging in a cupboard. I ask her to stop and give me 15 minutes to relax before we start the evening routine, all fine, she find something else to do upstairs.
Few days later she starts this all over again..
I hear you.
I call mine half a job. She starts a job with not enough time to finish so it gets half done, not talking about new stuff here. Ironing, hoovering, empty the dishwasher etc. stuff she's done 100's of times so knows how long it takes. If I'm going out in 2 minutes I don't start something that takes 10 minutes.
Oh and finishing the job means putting any equipment away. Like the hoover, garden equipment etc. And putting them back in the proper place not just any handy location so it takes 3 times as long to find them next time.
I call mine half a job. She starts a job with not enough time to finish so it gets half done, not talking about new stuff here. Ironing, hoovering, empty the dishwasher etc. stuff she's done 100's of times so knows how long it takes. If I'm going out in 2 minutes I don't start something that takes 10 minutes.
Oh and finishing the job means putting any equipment away. Like the hoover, garden equipment etc. And putting them back in the proper place not just any handy location so it takes 3 times as long to find them next time.
If we are deviating from faffing slightly, my wife is relatively good on this front, then it's things "we" need to do.
"We" need to fix the fence, "we" need to go to the shop and get ..., "we" need to walk the dogs etc. etc. No, you mean i do so just say that as we won't both be doing it. And this little onslaught happens regularly as soon as i get in from work, sure fire way to wind me up.
As for the talking thing, yep to all of the above, the most common one in our household is when i'm brushing my teeth, you can't hear anything with an electric toothbrush in your mouth.
"We" need to fix the fence, "we" need to go to the shop and get ..., "we" need to walk the dogs etc. etc. No, you mean i do so just say that as we won't both be doing it. And this little onslaught happens regularly as soon as i get in from work, sure fire way to wind me up.
As for the talking thing, yep to all of the above, the most common one in our household is when i'm brushing my teeth, you can't hear anything with an electric toothbrush in your mouth.
Edited by thainy77 on Friday 21st July 14:47
YupNot really faffing, but my missus can't answer a simple question...
Me: "Do you want a glass of wine?"
Her: "Did you buy some?"
Well, that's kind of irrelevant, and doesn't tell me if you want some or not. If we hadn't got some I wouldn't have offered it.
or
Me: "What time do we have to be at Sarah's tonight?"
Her: "Well, she's got to get home from work first..."
Me: "OK, so what time then?"
Her: "We need to drop the kids off on the way at mum's..."
Me (through gritted teeth): "I know that, I'm trying to factor it all in so we get there on time. Now. WHAT TIME DO WE HAVE TO BE AT SARAH'S?"
Hence a long and silent drive to our night out, where we will inevitably be 15 minutes late
Me: "Do you want a glass of wine?"
Her: "Did you buy some?"
Well, that's kind of irrelevant, and doesn't tell me if you want some or not. If we hadn't got some I wouldn't have offered it.
or
Me: "What time do we have to be at Sarah's tonight?"
Her: "Well, she's got to get home from work first..."
Me: "OK, so what time then?"
Her: "We need to drop the kids off on the way at mum's..."
Me (through gritted teeth): "I know that, I'm trying to factor it all in so we get there on time. Now. WHAT TIME DO WE HAVE TO BE AT SARAH'S?"
Hence a long and silent drive to our night out, where we will inevitably be 15 minutes late
boyse7en said:
Not really faffing, but my missus can't answer a simple question...
Me: "Do you want a glass of wine?"
Her: "Did you buy some?"
Well, that's kind of irrelevant, and doesn't tell me if you want some or not. If we hadn't got some I wouldn't have offered it.
or
Me: "What time do we have to be at Sarah's tonight?"
Her: "Well, she's got to get home from work first..."
Me: "OK, so what time then?"
Her: "We need to drop the kids off on the way at mum's..."
Me (through gritted teeth): "I know that, I'm trying to factor it all in so we get there on time. Now. WHAT TIME DO WE HAVE TO BE AT SARAH'S?"
Hence a long and silent drive to our night out, where we will inevitably be 15 minutes late
See my post from few days ago... I feel you. Me: "Do you want a glass of wine?"
Her: "Did you buy some?"
Well, that's kind of irrelevant, and doesn't tell me if you want some or not. If we hadn't got some I wouldn't have offered it.
or
Me: "What time do we have to be at Sarah's tonight?"
Her: "Well, she's got to get home from work first..."
Me: "OK, so what time then?"
Her: "We need to drop the kids off on the way at mum's..."
Me (through gritted teeth): "I know that, I'm trying to factor it all in so we get there on time. Now. WHAT TIME DO WE HAVE TO BE AT SARAH'S?"
Hence a long and silent drive to our night out, where we will inevitably be 15 minutes late
PotatoSalad said:
One of the quirks of the relationship, just like my grumpiness before I get my morning tea or "losing" my glasses from time to time which she finds quickly in the most obvious place.
I do that albeit with my phone....I usually get told off.Edited by PotatoSalad on Friday 21st July 11:50
My life in 35 pages...
On the decorating theme, there were rooms in my house I just couldn't stand going into; the ones where she had done a 'quick' decorating job; paint runs, peeling where surfaces hadn't been prepped, bits missed, light fittings painted over, drips on the floor, paint all over the window glass and she never did ever get around to doing the radiators.
I once got home from a few weeks away working, the tile kitchen floor was a greasy mess that resisted both the vacuum cleaner and the mop. Friends were expected (and we had small children) so I ended up on the floor cleaning it with a scrubbing brush and strong detergent. Cue a massive strop from her, as apparently the only reason I was doing this was to show her up.
SS7
On the decorating theme, there were rooms in my house I just couldn't stand going into; the ones where she had done a 'quick' decorating job; paint runs, peeling where surfaces hadn't been prepped, bits missed, light fittings painted over, drips on the floor, paint all over the window glass and she never did ever get around to doing the radiators.
I once got home from a few weeks away working, the tile kitchen floor was a greasy mess that resisted both the vacuum cleaner and the mop. Friends were expected (and we had small children) so I ended up on the floor cleaning it with a scrubbing brush and strong detergent. Cue a massive strop from her, as apparently the only reason I was doing this was to show her up.
SS7
thainy77 said:
If we are deviating from faffing slightly, my wife is relatively good on this front, then it's things "we" need to do.
"We" need to fix the fence, "we" need to go to the shop and get ..., "we" need to walk the dogs etc. etc. No, you mean i do so just say that as we won't both be doing it. And this little onslaught happens regularly as soon as i get in from work, sure fire way to wind me up.
This conversation usually starts with the phrase "I've been thinking..""We" need to fix the fence, "we" need to go to the shop and get ..., "we" need to walk the dogs etc. etc. No, you mean i do so just say that as we won't both be doing it. And this little onslaught happens regularly as soon as i get in from work, sure fire way to wind me up.
Run lads! Its a trap!
PositronicRay said:
Something similar happens to me. Taking dog for a walk, out of courtesy I'll say, "would you like to come" occasionally I'll get a "yes"
Which gives way to a massive faff, which boots and socks? will a jumper be required? a sock gone missing (either stuck in boot or on foot)
Then out on walk: too hot/cold/windy, should've worn/not worn xyz, wrong gloves, wrong socks, walking too fast, etc. Me amending route as we go to avoid, livestock/mud/long grass/poorly defined paths while thinking of shortcuts to keep distance down, Then discussions re dog behaviour; should be on/off lead, stick thrown/not thrown, not allowed to go in water/bushes/mud, should be called back.
I put it down to massive control freakery.
Same here. Every morning I get up early to take the dog out for a walk. By myself. I've been doing it for 8 years, so think by now I know what I'm doing, when/where he needs to be on or off lead, if he needs a poo, etc etc.Which gives way to a massive faff, which boots and socks? will a jumper be required? a sock gone missing (either stuck in boot or on foot)
Then out on walk: too hot/cold/windy, should've worn/not worn xyz, wrong gloves, wrong socks, walking too fast, etc. Me amending route as we go to avoid, livestock/mud/long grass/poorly defined paths while thinking of shortcuts to keep distance down, Then discussions re dog behaviour; should be on/off lead, stick thrown/not thrown, not allowed to go in water/bushes/mud, should be called back.
I put it down to massive control freakery.
Yet when Mrs ZS joins me occasionally, or when we go in the evening there's always a big faff around to get ready, and she always knows best about which route to take, or if he should be on the lead. And she always insists on bringing the ball thrower, even though the dog gets bored of it after 3 or 4 throws and leaves the tennis ball wherever it landed. So then I have to go and get the tennis ball and then carry the ball thrower for the rest of the walk
She's also very good at the "we" need to do xyz, when she actually means me.
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