Too selfish for a girlfriend?
Discussion
I genuinely don't care that my Mrs has a nil income and decided she wanted to be a full time mum.
Jacked in her job after falling pregnant (about 2mths in) and our daughter is 2.5yrs now ... no maternity pay (she did get a maternity grant but that went into the babies bank account) and due to my income there are no top ups / working tax credits etc...
It's her choice and I doubt she will return to work ever, tbh we have a pretty comfortable life on my income alone so it's no big deal at all to me
Jacked in her job after falling pregnant (about 2mths in) and our daughter is 2.5yrs now ... no maternity pay (she did get a maternity grant but that went into the babies bank account) and due to my income there are no top ups / working tax credits etc...
It's her choice and I doubt she will return to work ever, tbh we have a pretty comfortable life on my income alone so it's no big deal at all to me
skinnyman said:
I met my now wife 8yrs ago, and at no point during the period in which I fell in love with her did I think "what can she financially bring to the table". She's always earned less than me, a lot less, but it's never been an issue. Infact, she's currently taking 4 years off work to raise our children before they're in full time education. Yes during this time I will be funding everything, but there's more to a relationship than money, especially when children are involved. She'll have the time to raise our children, something she's infinitely better at than me, and that frankly priceless.
Mm most men who live like this never clean or cook I find, and as you stated you don't want to look after the kids either. I noted you said she will look after the kids not "we" So while she does not bring finance to the table, you are living in a hotel ;-)
So the OP could be the same, he can afford her to give up work and become a house wife which comes with all thethose benefits.
The post above this looks the same, I think many a house hold where women don't work men do s
t all at home.Edited by Porsche911R on Tuesday 23 May 22:50
Don said:
The wife and I got first class tickets for our US trip this coming summer. I'm mean and could never normally justify it (no matter what I was earning at the time) but we did the States last year as well and were crammed into the tiniest of Economy seats and when the guy in front leaned the seat back I couldn't see the onboard entertainment screen! This was BA!
Economy long haul is just awful. Economy anywhere in Europe is just fine.
This vacation we don't have much spare time around the flight for recovery so we've bought tickets that should mean we get some sleep etc.
Just making the point that sometimes people do pay their own money to upgrade...airlines got to sell all those seats...
We earn significantly less than 500K!
Did you consider business class as a happy medium? Economy long haul is just awful. Economy anywhere in Europe is just fine.
This vacation we don't have much spare time around the flight for recovery so we've bought tickets that should mean we get some sleep etc.
Just making the point that sometimes people do pay their own money to upgrade...airlines got to sell all those seats...
We earn significantly less than 500K!
I'd love to experience first class one day, but doubt I ever will as ridiculously expensive!
reggie82 said:
Don said:
The wife and I got first class tickets for our US trip this coming summer. I'm mean and could never normally justify it (no matter what I was earning at the time) but we did the States last year as well and were crammed into the tiniest of Economy seats and when the guy in front leaned the seat back I couldn't see the onboard entertainment screen! This was BA!
Economy long haul is just awful. Economy anywhere in Europe is just fine.
This vacation we don't have much spare time around the flight for recovery so we've bought tickets that should mean we get some sleep etc.
Just making the point that sometimes people do pay their own money to upgrade...airlines got to sell all those seats...
We earn significantly less than 500K!
Did you consider business class as a happy medium? Economy long haul is just awful. Economy anywhere in Europe is just fine.
This vacation we don't have much spare time around the flight for recovery so we've bought tickets that should mean we get some sleep etc.
Just making the point that sometimes people do pay their own money to upgrade...airlines got to sell all those seats...
We earn significantly less than 500K!
I'd love to experience first class one day, but doubt I ever will as ridiculously expensive!
I can relate OP with my last GF. It wasn't even about the money it was the resentment she had towards me about it as if she was struggling & I was living the high life.
Whenever we would go out I would pay for everything. I didn't mind at all but what got me was the lack of appreciation in the end. Good riddance.
Be prepared for her to win the lottery though If you end it.
Whenever we would go out I would pay for everything. I didn't mind at all but what got me was the lack of appreciation in the end. Good riddance.
Be prepared for her to win the lottery though If you end it.
Surprising, that OP is travelling first class whilst at the same time asking for less money,
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
jonah35 said:
I find it difficult to believe that, all else being equal, some people are saying theyd not prefer a trainee doctor as a partner to someone that works in a sandwich shop serving customers
1) all doctors are arrogant2) trainee doctors earn pretty average money and work s
tty long shifts3) I like butties (I wouldn't marry anyone who called a butty a sandwich either)
But hey, that's just me.
My partner doesn't earn anywhere near what I earn, is it a problem? Well no, I didn't get with her because of what she did for a living which is actually far more noble than what I do just pays badly.
If you love someone, it really shouldn't matter as you just make things work.
Having said that I am mid-30s now but in my early 20s I probably would have been frustrated if I'd wanted to do things that my partner couldn't afford to do. That said I'd probably have helped by paying between us for things as they were afforded.
If you love someone, it really shouldn't matter as you just make things work.
Having said that I am mid-30s now but in my early 20s I probably would have been frustrated if I'd wanted to do things that my partner couldn't afford to do. That said I'd probably have helped by paying between us for things as they were afforded.
Adam B said:
BigBen said:
long haul first class tickets are £5k+ per person which does not seem a sensible allocation of your £45k.
£34k post tax - so has OP confirmed where he flies first class? Or have we scared him off?He boasted elsewhere that he was getting a 10K gross rise which was a 30% increase so he's on around 33k gross
Bottom line is he's not too selfish....just too poor to deliver her the lifestyle he's sold!
Edited by GT03ROB on Thursday 25th May 08:03
Equilibrium25 said:
HuntD said:
Am I being unreasonable or selfish?
If you can afford to fly first class and book into nice hotels, then yes you are probably being selfish in not wanting to pay for your loved one to join you.Or, to put it another way, if you are not willing to compromise a little (e.g. two of you fly business rather than you flying first solo), she's probably not the girl for you. When you really meet someone you love, the finances won't even come into your mind.
GT03ROB said:
He's boasted to his bird about flying 1st class & wot not, she's called his bluff & he's been busted by her.
He boasted elsewhere that he was getting a 10K gross rise which was a 30% increase so he's on around 33k gross
Bottom line is he's not too selfish....just too poor to deliver her the lifestyle he's sold!
Or hanging out with/trying to keep up with a clique most of whom are much wealthier than OP and he simply cant afford a +1 He boasted elsewhere that he was getting a 10K gross rise which was a 30% increase so he's on around 33k gross
Bottom line is he's not too selfish....just too poor to deliver her the lifestyle he's sold!
Edited by GT03ROB on Thursday 25th May 08:03
I'm not sure what response people want from me but I am surprised at the hostility towards first class air travel, it's definitely not as expensive as some people are making out. I recently paid £2200 return per person for upper class with Virgin Atlantic to go Vegas, hardly the £5k people are taking about here.
Some people definitely did not read my original post in the context it was written, I don't care how much my partner earns but I do care about being held back from doing the things I want and I asked if that was selfish.
Some people definitely did not read my original post in the context it was written, I don't care how much my partner earns but I do care about being held back from doing the things I want and I asked if that was selfish.
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