Too selfish for a girlfriend?

[Hoofy]

It's good training for you. Do you think the average PBCD has a wife earning the same amount of money? What about their kids? Do they all pay their own way when they go on holiday? No, the PBCD pays everything.

[Greg_D]

My wife and i founded our business together and have (and always had, even when we were both comparatively broke) extremely well aligned positions on spending/saving/investing etc so we set up house with one pot into which we both have free access to.

We continue to agree on all issues financial and as a result money never causes an issue.

I am not at all sure how anyone can live with someone that doesn't pull in the same financial direction... i've observed it from afar and the results are generally incendiary....

Something to think about. Whatever you do, it won't get easier with time.

(cod sociology time...: she resents you earning more than her, is chipping away at your position for her own gain at the moment, will keep a lid on it for a bit until she gets a ring on her finger, will pop out a couple of sprogs and give up work. she is tolerating a MW job for the time being until she manages to tie someone down - that's why she's not progressing.......she doesn't want to)

[RDMcG]

You cannot have a two-class relationship in my view. You should never fly first class for instance and put GF in economy...very destructive.

[austinsmirk]

you are really not going to like being married, or having children then: if you can't cope with (seemingly) feck all worries and outgoings at your tender age.

[hyphen]

Hoofy said:

It's good training for you. Do you think the average PBCD has a wife earning the same amount of money? What about their kids? Do they all pay their own way when they go on holiday? No, the PBCD pays everything.

I remember last year when one of the PA's at a client company got engaged, the other girls didn't say congratulations, they said "Well Done"!

[joshcowin]

Does your disposable money mean that much to you?

Look at what you have written, you view money as equal to or more significant than a person you are in a relationship with who I guess you love?!

You shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone if you don't want to share everything with them!

[Brigand]

I'm a bit surprised you let her live with you free of charge. I'll be the first to say I'm a bit of a tight-arse when it comes to money, but the previous and current girlfriend who've moved in with me I've been quite explicit in that we split the household bills 50/50 - that said both of those have been on a very similar wage to myself so didn't have any disparity to navigate.

[tobinen]

Perhaps some pictures of the OP's girlfriend would assist?

[RTB]

She needs to contribute a percentage of her income. When the inevitable happens and she gets pregnant, then everything is going to become a hell of a lot more expensive and you won't be getting a penny towards anything and no leverage as she will have a reason to rely as heavily as she needs to on you.

You'll have no money, no time and no sleep, closely followed by no friends, no social life and no idea what the fk just happened

good luck with it all

[Gareth79]

TooMany2cvs said:

HuntD said:

...she only earns minimum wage and only ever will

Why?

Is she somehow completely incapable of getting a job that pays more, for some reason?

That was my first thought - that the OP doesn't have positive thoughts about her prospects.

The only real reason why somebody could be stuck in a minimum wage job 'for life' is a learning disability to an extent they have to be continuously managed.

[Vocal Minority]

RDMcG said:

I do not think a relationship can be judged as an investment.

.

This is pistonheads - it's the first thing EVERYTHING is thought of as.

[AyBee]

HuntD said:

she only earns minimum wage and only ever will

Earning more than her wouldn't bother me as much as the above!

[TooMany2cvs]

AyBee said:

HuntD said:

she only earns minimum wage and only ever will

Earning more than her wouldn't bother me as much as the above!

Quite. It seems to be saying "She's thick as pig st, has zero skills, and never will have". Not much of a vote of confidence in your beloved, is it?

[zedstar]

HuntD said:

so what she earns is 100% disposal.

I'd suggest that attitude if it is indeed her attitude is the problem.

If she's on MW with no expenses then she can still afford a lot of things.

[Equilibrium25]

Smanks said:

What if it is her who is pushing for luxuries like first class tickets and not wanting to contribute to it?

That would be different, but that's not how I read it; it seemed that first class was the norm for the OP, not her requirement.

op said:

For example a week long holiday with first class tickets in a nice hotel and activities every day is affordable when you go with friends everyone pays for themselves, but the price doubles when you have to pay for your girlfriend and it gets to a point where I'd rather not bother.

[danny0001uk1]

Minimum wage after tax is £1100 working 37.5 hours a week!

Plenty enough for her to contribute!

[xjay1337]

I guess in OP's case you really can put a price on love.

[Smanks]

Equilibrium25 said:

Smanks said:

What if it is her who is pushing for luxuries like first class tickets and not wanting to contribute to it?

That would be different, but that's not how I read it; it seemed that first class was the norm for the OP, not her requirement.

op said:

For example a week long holiday with first class tickets in a nice hotel and activities every day is affordable when you go with friends everyone pays for themselves, but the price doubles when you have to pay for your girlfriend and it gets to a point where I'd rather not bother.

Yes I wasn't clear, I assumed there may be other indulgences that the gf may be pushing for

[FredClogs]

TooMany2cvs said:

AyBee said:

HuntD said:

she only earns minimum wage and only ever will

Earning more than her wouldn't bother me as much as the above!

Quite. It seems to be saying "She's thick as pig st, has zero skills, and never will have". Not much of a vote of confidence in your beloved, is it?

Some jobs are valuable and rewarding but pay st, I.e nursery nurse or hair dresser or care work.

Some people aren't ambitious or driven by money, and quite frankly thanks god for that because those that are aren't always nice.

The girl friend in question is loved and respected by the op, so she must have something about her.

[jonah35]

Vocal Minority said:

RDMcG said:

I do not think a relationship can be judged as an investment.

.

This is pistonheads - it's the first thing EVERYTHING is thought of as.

I disagree. Its not about whether its an investment or not its about what is rational and logical. We have all been wrapped up in a girl in a new relationship but longer term generally these feelings can subside.

If not why dont you just give the first person you fall in love with all of your money and assets and live happily ever after? Few would do that as it is just asking for trouble.

I think you can be blinded by love and not look at the big picture.

A friend of mine was happily in love with a gorgeous girl. He showered her with gifts and paid for everything as she had a part time job. Eventually she split up with him and hes now back living with his parents and has a personal loan around his neck. He loved her very much (and still does from what i gather). He realises he has been a fool.

I could list endless people that have separated or been divorced.

I am not saying be tight and dontbtake her on weekends away and look after her. Any man would and should want to do that. But paying for everything is a recipe for disaster.