Any other expectant Dads?

Any other expectant Dads?

Author
Discussion

Silvs

2,270 posts

184 months

Monday 31st July 2017
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Ooooh, a thread I might be able to shed some light on. I have a 5yo, 3yo, 18month old and another one due in October (which reminds me I really should get my Sky TV fixed...)

Anyway, My thoughts...

1) The thought of being responsible for something so important can be really daunting, the thought of how much it will change your life can be scary. However, it is all worth it. Every single moment of it is amazing.

1) Pregnant ladies get a bit more mental than normal.... They will want to buy all sorts of crap that you really do not need. Trying to argue that you do not need it will quickly get you accused of being "unsupportive" and "not looking forward to it". It's a balancing act of letting the wife be exicited and planning but not filling the house with junk you will never use.

2) Giving birth is an unimaginable experience, and you don't even have to do it. Whatever she asks of you in hospital. You do, no question. She will be exhausted after it. They then let you take this tiny creature home which will stop you ever getting over that exhaustion. You will never sleep the same way again. Ever.

3) Don't rush to tell everyone the Baby has been born. Don't rush to ring family & friends or post it on Social Media. Just have a good few hours of you, your Wife and the baby together. It's nice to cuddle a baby when no one else knows they have arrived. It really helps with the bonding.

4) Day 3. 3 days after baby arrives some crazy hormones kick off and your wife will want to cry uncontrollably. It's fine, it's normal but make sure you have had a good few days being settled in the house before you start letting a lot of guests come and visit. When they do visit. 20-30 mins is more than enough.

5) It doesn't matter if the baby is breast fed/bottle fed. Disposal nappies/reusable ones and so on so forth. Just do what is right for you. This applies well after being a baby.

Treasure every single moment because you don't know when it will be the last time they do it. At some point they will lose their baby cry and they will never do it again. They will stop calling you Dada and call you Daddy never going back to it. Just the other week my oldest boy said "i don't want to hold your hand walking to school Daddy, I am a big boy now"... and just like that he may never want to hold my hand again. Make the most of it.



Edited by Silvs on Monday 31st July 20:06

Shakermaker

Original Poster:

11,317 posts

99 months

Wednesday 9th August 2017
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Animal said:
Very, very early days for us - only 5 weeks' gone.

Bookmarked this thread though!
Many congratulations!

It is all starting to sink in now. We went to look at pushchairs/buggies/strollers/whatever you call them yesterday. What a world of choice and expense this is going to be. Although I am fortunate in that my mother-in-law is VERY generous and my wife has her wrapped around her finger on some things, so whatever she wants, she gets...I just had to offer some "practical" advice that the one she really wanted, was unsuitable for me as the handles didn't go high enough for me to comfortably push, and didn't actually fold very well with just one hand!

Vaud

50,290 posts

154 months

Wednesday 9th August 2017
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Shakermaker said:
and didn't actually fold very well with just one hand!
This is a good test. Hold a noisy wriggling octopus in one arm that is trying to scratch your face in the pouring rain. How quickly with one arm can you collapse the pram...?

Peanut Gallery

2,418 posts

109 months

Wednesday 9th August 2017
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Don't forget weight - she will have to pick it up and put it in the car, along with everything else!

I can't believe how fast they grow once they have popped out, ours is one month old, and is already on the maximum setting for the car seat. (0-6 month car seat, so is slightly expected!)

Animal

5,246 posts

267 months

Wednesday 9th August 2017
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Shakermaker said:
Animal said:
Very, very early days for us - only 5 weeks' gone.

Bookmarked this thread though!
Many congratulations!

It is all starting to sink in now. We went to look at pushchairs/buggies/strollers/whatever you call them yesterday. What a world of choice and expense this is going to be. Although I am fortunate in that my mother-in-law is VERY generous and my wife has her wrapped around her finger on some things, so whatever she wants, she gets...I just had to offer some "practical" advice that the one she really wanted, was unsuitable for me as the handles didn't go high enough for me to comfortably push, and didn't actually fold very well with just one hand!
Thanks! An unexpected bonus is that we're getting a new car, and choosing is my responsibility. Taking into account the list of requirements I've been given it'll probably be a Golf. So that's a brand new Golf R or GTi for me then!

Frio3535

595 posts

134 months

Monday 14th August 2017
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We had our NCT course (paid for, not NHS) this past weekend. Worthwhile for the reassurance it gives your partner and the ability to discuss issues with other women in an open and inclusive environment. Do you as a new dad learn anything new? You might or you might not, but as above its good to discuss issues with other expectant dads. Would recommend if it's possible to attend one.

Shakermaker

Original Poster:

11,317 posts

99 months

Monday 14th August 2017
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Frio3535 said:
We had our NCT course (paid for, not NHS) this past weekend. Worthwhile for the reassurance it gives your partner and the ability to discuss issues with other women in an open and inclusive environment. Do you as a new dad learn anything new? You might or you might not, but as above its good to discuss issues with other expectant dads. Would recommend if it's possible to attend one.
Cheers, yes I'll be looking into those, they'll be around November for us with the expected birth in early January.

Might start decorating in the next couple of weeks if the weather stays decent enough...

silverthorn2151

6,298 posts

178 months

Monday 14th August 2017
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I'm an expectant Dad.

I'm expecting it to get easier.

It doesn't.

Youngest of 4 is now 24.

thainy77

3,347 posts

197 months

Monday 14th August 2017
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silverthorn2151 said:
I'm an expectant Dad.

I'm expecting it to get easier.

It doesn't.

Youngest of 4 is now 24.
Damn! Good luck hehe.

Animal

5,246 posts

267 months

Saturday 16th September 2017
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Had our 12-week scan on Thursday and all appears to be well.

Not so good this morning though as it appears as though we've split up - this wasn't what I was expecting for my Saturday!

phl

22 posts

86 months

Saturday 16th September 2017
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This is a really great thread. Our first is due in December. We've got travel system ordered and crib for beside our bed. All feels very real now - exciting time ahead

AndStilliRise

2,295 posts

115 months

Saturday 16th September 2017
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Good luck to all. I have a moody but brilliant teenager and a 9yr. Both awesome and great fun. Can be hard work but very rewarding.

Some tips which have severed me well:

1) Always read to them at bedtime. Make it fun so they will enjoy it.

2) If you can start a savings account with their name on it. Even if you can contribute a little it will be something that they can own.

3) Buy the all the toys you can. They are great fun and will have rooms full of books, toys, posters

4) Help them own their own rooms. Pictures and comfortable soft toys.

HTH, but I am sure you will enjoy it.

BobSaunders

3,027 posts

154 months

Saturday 16th September 2017
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Congratulations.

0.7 month old. Routine, routine, routine.

It's ok. to put them down (safely) and leave the room for five minutes if you need a couple of minutes.. better than throwing them out the window..

It's ok to put them down for a shower.

People will give you stuff - i think we have bought two or three clothes.

Preparation is everything - no point getting caught out with no nappies, wipes, or dirty bottles.

Add in an extra couple of bottles, or milk, to take with you - i got caught in a motorway traffic jam for 45 minutes once.. alone with just me + baby.. at feeding time. Horrendous.

Order in bulk, i ordered everything on Amazon in bulk - two hour delivery etc. (nappies, wipes etc.).

Cook a load of spag bol + similar stuff up and freeze it. Get a load of pasta and mix in sauce stuff. Your thank yourself when your unable to get to the shop etc.

Never turn down help or mates offering a shoulder for a rant. Never turn down someone willing to bring around food.

Talk to your partner, especially about how your feeling.

Talk to your partner about how they are feeling.

Remember things get better - it just does not feel like it at the time.

Remember, although you are going back to work (maybe), your partner probably is not. Yes, it might feel like they are off having a coffee on your wage, they have put their life on hold..

Video monitor - worth it's weight in gold to monitor if the crying starts, prevents you from coming running to them (which they get used to).


Edited by BobSaunders on Saturday 16th September 23:03


Edited by BobSaunders on Saturday 16th September 23:05

Vaud

50,290 posts

154 months

Saturday 16th September 2017
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Good advice.

Also... Always prepare for the poo-pocolypse... especially when out and about. Spare outfit, more wipes than you can shake a stick at. Lots of spare carrier bags. Doesn't always happen, but make sure you have a stash in the car at least.

Oh, and if they are a noisy one (some scream, some have a volume and pitch that goes right through you....) then it's fine to don ear defenders or noise cancellling headphones when changing nappies. It makes it less stressful. As does gin (for the parent).


RTB

8,273 posts

257 months

Sunday 17th September 2017
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Good luck to all the expectant dads. It's a roller coaster, especially the first 12 months. My two are 9 and 5 now and time has flown by.

My advice:

1) Enjoy them as babies, it goes by in an instant and they're never like that again.
2) Feed, wind, change. Continue doing these 3 things until they go to sleep.

All the best.

Shakermaker

Original Poster:

11,317 posts

99 months

Sunday 17th September 2017
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We have 16 weeks or so to go now... getting a bit more real.
Happily my parents have offered to buy us the car seat etc that we will need, and her mum is buying us whichever pushchair system my wife wants, a huge saving to be made there so very happy with that.


Next up... having the kitchen redone and possibly the entire downstairs of the house.

coopedup

3,741 posts

138 months

Sunday 17th September 2017
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Animal said:
Had our 12-week scan on Thursday and all appears to be well.

Not so good this morning though as it appears as though we've split up - this wasn't what I was expecting for my Saturday!
st mate, sorry to hear that. Hope you can work things out.

thainy77

3,347 posts

197 months

Sunday 17th September 2017
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The wife is going in for her c-section tomorrow, the last 9 months have gone passed quickly, perhaps not for her though.

Rebew

141 posts

91 months

Sunday 17th September 2017
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thainy77 said:
The wife is going in for her c-section tomorrow, the last 9 months have gone passed quickly, perhaps not for her though.
Good luck with it!

6 weeks to go for us, with a new build house that's on course to be completed in 5 weeks. No pressure at all! Had a 3d scan a few weeks ago and it made it all very real seeing the little ones face for the first time!

Vaud

50,290 posts

154 months

Sunday 17th September 2017
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thainy77 said:
The wife is going in for her c-section tomorrow, the last 9 months have gone passed quickly, perhaps not for her though.
C-sections need a lot of recovery. Do everything involving lifting and stretching for the next 2-3 months...