Any other expectant Dads?

Any other expectant Dads?

Author
Discussion

Jonnny

29,387 posts

188 months

Thursday 6th December 2018
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Vaud said:
samsock said:
Less energy. It's quite subtle, and it does seem across the board. My guess is, that it is normal and need to support where possible.
First child. Mum is experiencing lots of things for the first time - new hormones, a baby plumbing itself in, a whoel bunch of energy going into that. Plus the concept that the rest of her life has changed.

Normal, but keep an eye on it...
Yep, I agree.

Apparently it affects them in the 1st trimester, better in the second and back again in the 3rd.

Vaud

50,289 posts

154 months

Thursday 6th December 2018
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Jonnny said:
Yep, I agree.

Apparently it affects them in the 1st trimester, better in the second and back again in the 3rd.
First trimester: new hormones, everything plumbing in, morning sickness, etc
Second : stabilised, this isn't too bad "healthy glow"
Third: growth, pain, backache, ouch it kicked my bladder again, etc please let it be born soon...

Blown2CV

28,697 posts

202 months

Thursday 6th December 2018
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samsock said:
Less energy. It's quite subtle, and it does seem across the board. My guess is, that it is normal and need to support where possible.
most likely first trimester. Mrs 2CV was absolutely knackered both times during this period, and weirdly as soon as that trimester ended she almost immediately changed back to more her normal self. There is a lot of stuff going on in her body and to be honest there is also an element of hormones and foreplanning/worry going on in her head too. All normal stuff i feel.

CharlieH89

9,079 posts

164 months

Sunday 9th December 2018
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samsock said:
Can I join? We are 10 weeks in, first scan coming up. A bit shellshocked tbh! I was wondering if any one had any observations on behavioural changes in the mother at this point, what is normal, what I should be concerned about. Seems like a different person in many ways, in terms of energy, willpower, enthusiasm, moods. I'm wondering how much of this is biological or might there be other reasons.
- finally conceived mid June
Up until October my wife had morning sickness. Fatigue.

- October until the past week or two she had seemed ok but she is really fatigued now. She has a 10 min walk to the station then a 12 min walk across Liverpool city centre. She is definitely feeling it now and the growing pains have kicked in. Possibly pelvic gurdle pain.
Told her to to drive in but she says getting the train would be easier.

I’m doing everything around the house at the moment. It’s like she has just switched off to everything other than her work and sleeping when she is home. Cleaning the house, Washing up, clothes washing, ironing, walking the dog, feeding the dog. What’s even worse is he had a cruciate op a couple of weeks ago and had to wear a massive cone and he is just walking around the house annoyed by this cone and bashing into me and the wife, walls, cabinets.
Sending me crazy.

Hard for the wife I know as she is suffering but I think I need to get in some help, ask her mum if she can come around and lend a hand once a week maybe.

Only 3 months to go...

richatnort

3,018 posts

130 months

Sunday 9th December 2018
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CharlieH89 said:
- finally conceived mid June
Up until October my wife had morning sickness. Fatigue.

- October until the past week or two she had seemed ok but she is really fatigued now. She has a 10 min walk to the station then a 12 min walk across Liverpool city centre. She is definitely feeling it now and the growing pains have kicked in. Possibly pelvic gurdle pain.
Told her to to drive in but she says getting the train would be easier.

I’m doing everything around the house at the moment. It’s like she has just switched off to everything other than her work and sleeping when she is home. Cleaning the house, Washing up, clothes washing, ironing, walking the dog, feeding the dog. What’s even worse is he had a cruciate op a couple of weeks ago and had to wear a massive cone and he is just walking around the house annoyed by this cone and bashing into me and the wife, walls, cabinets.
Sending me crazy.

Hard for the wife I know as she is suffering but I think I need to get in some help, ask her mum if she can come around and lend a hand once a week maybe.

Only 3 months to go...
Sounds tough mate and I can't give you any advice other than can you get a cleaner in? I think there roughly £7 an hour so even 2 hours worth could be enough to help out?

Vaud

50,289 posts

154 months

Sunday 9th December 2018
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richatnort said:
Sounds tough mate and I can't give you any advice other than can you get a cleaner in? I think there roughly £7 an hour so even 2 hours worth could be enough to help out?
Cleaner is a very good idea if finances allow. Also batch cooking, etc to reduce load in the week.

CharlieH89

9,079 posts

164 months

Sunday 9th December 2018
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richatnort said:
Sounds tough mate and I can't give you any advice other than can you get a cleaner in? I think there roughly £7 an hour so even 2 hours worth could be enough to help out?
Thanks for the reply Rich. A cleaner is definitely on my mind to make it a bit easier.
The mother in law is a domestic goddess ( hehe ) with quite a bit of spare time so my first thoughts were her to help out with some money passed her way smile

Vaud

50,289 posts

154 months

Sunday 9th December 2018
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CharlieH89 said:
Thanks for the reply Rich. A cleaner is definitely on my mind to make it a bit easier.
The mother in law is a domestic goddess ( hehe ) with quite a bit of spare time so my first thoughts were her to help out with some money passed her way smile
You might find hiring a stranger easier.
Some to-be mums find having their mums doing their cleaning as a bad thing - as they have clearly "failed" as a wife... hormones, rationality, etc. Also MIL may be insulted by being "hired"?

Maybe easier to hire a cleaner that isn't a relation.

richatnort

3,018 posts

130 months

Sunday 9th December 2018
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Vaud said:
You might find hiring a stranger easier.
Some to-be mums find having their mums doing their cleaning as a bad thing - as they have clearly "failed" as a wife... hormones, rationality, etc. Also MIL may be insulted by being "hired"?

Maybe easier to hire a cleaner that isn't a relation.
Yes I did think this too! Unless A. Your mother keeps it from your OH so she doesn't find out or B. Your OH is OK to ask for help from your mum I'd get a stranger. Plus if something isn't clean how you like it, will you tell your MIL to do it better next time lol. Hope you get through it though

Blown2CV

28,697 posts

202 months

Sunday 9th December 2018
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CharlieH89 said:
richatnort said:
Sounds tough mate and I can't give you any advice other than can you get a cleaner in? I think there roughly £7 an hour so even 2 hours worth could be enough to help out?
Thanks for the reply Rich. A cleaner is definitely on my mind to make it a bit easier.
The mother in law is a domestic goddess ( hehe ) with quite a bit of spare time so my first thoughts were her to help out with some money passed her way smile
i would advise strongly against getting the MiL to do it. The Mrs will be feeling guilty/self-conscious about the need to do it, and often the parents or in-laws make that worse. Having them actually come in to resolve the 'issue' is a recipe for a massive fall out or bust up at some point in the future. There will be simmering resentment, whether it shows itself currently or not.

CharlieH89

9,079 posts

164 months

Sunday 9th December 2018
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My wife is quite close to her mum and my wife understands that some help is needed. That I can only do so much.

The mother in law has said she will help out. Come around and try and help out as much as she can without payment.
Obviously I won’t be expecting her to do everything a cleaner would do but if she helps out with a couple of things then it helps me out where I can do whatever is left and we will pay her back with gifts if she objects to the money smile

cbmotorsport

3,065 posts

117 months

Monday 10th December 2018
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Baby finally came 2 weeks ago. A little girl, 6lbs 12oz. I've just come back to work after 2 fantastic weeks of paternity. 2 weeks is not enough though. I am shattered, the feeding schedule has been brutal, but she's worth every bleary eyed moment.

Good luck to all expectant dads, and to those trying. :-)

BS62

1,971 posts

165 months

Monday 10th December 2018
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Congrats smile
My son just turned 3, and his sister is due in the next 3-4 weeks. Feels like we're just getting to the top of the roller coaster...

Merry

1,360 posts

187 months

Monday 10th December 2018
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Anyone got any tips on what to do with a 15 month old who has decided 5am is wake up time despite being pretty tired?

He is sleeping through till then from 7pm.

Used to wake up for a bottle between 4 and 5 and go back down till half 7. Now he doesn't really want a bottle and doesn't go back to sleep, preferring to wail until one of us gives in and gets him up. He'll then be slightly/moderately /very grumpy all morning till his nap, which is usually about an hour and his only one. Level of grumpiness follows no pattern at all.

As ever the internet is awash with conflicting advice. A lot of it is 'that's normal get over it' but to be honest I don't fancy that. I'm more of the opinion that you should get them into a routine that suits everyone, not just them.

Vaud

50,289 posts

154 months

Monday 10th December 2018
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Routine doesn't work for all. You can't force a baby to sleep.

I would love my 17 month old to sleep through like that. How many naps do they have in the day?

Merry

1,360 posts

187 months

Monday 10th December 2018
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Vaud said:
Routine doesn't work for all. You can't force a baby to sleep.

I would love my 17 month old to sleep through like that. How many naps do they have in the day?
Just the one. It's not a case of forcing him to sleep, he is waking up tired and for whatever reason not going back to sleep without a fight or at all, then being grumpy all morning.

I'd like to proactively encourage him into a routine that works for us, it's not a case of forcing.

Vaud

50,289 posts

154 months

Monday 10th December 2018
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Merry said:
Just the one. It's not a case of forcing him to sleep, he is waking up tired and for whatever reason not going back to sleep without a fight or at all, then being grumpy all morning.

I'd like to proactively encourage him into a routine that works for us, it's not a case of forcing.
Can you encourage a powernap? Push around at 9am for a quick 30 min snooze?

Merry

1,360 posts

187 months

Monday 10th December 2018
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Vaud said:
Can you encourage a powernap? Push around at 9am for a quick 30 min snooze?
He used to go for that, but not really anymore. Once he's up he's awake until his mid day nap regardless of how tired he is.

Unless he's in the car for more than half an hour, but that's not really a solution.

Peanut Gallery

2,418 posts

109 months

Monday 10th December 2018
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Congrats toxicnerve!

You have 6 months to say goodbye to the life you know, time to welcome a new one! (I'm currently watching Peter Rabbit)

17 months here, she comes through to our bed at about 5 and sleeps on top of one of us till I leave for work 6am ish or SWMBO till about 9ish. Bed time is late though, 10pm, often no naps at all during the day.

Jonnny

29,387 posts

188 months

Monday 10th December 2018
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cbmotorsport said:
Baby finally came 2 weeks ago. A little girl, 6lbs 12oz. I've just come back to work after 2 fantastic weeks of paternity. 2 weeks is not enough though. I am shattered, the feeding schedule has been brutal, but she's worth every bleary eyed moment.

Good luck to all expectant dads, and to those trying. :-)
Agree, 2 weeks isn't enough - my wife found it soo hard when I went back to work too.