Any other expectant Dads?

Any other expectant Dads?

Author
Discussion

SpeckledJim

31,608 posts

252 months

Friday 6th October 2017
quotequote all
wiggy001 said:
Vaud said:
Shakermaker said:
Started thinking about shortening down the list of names that we both like, this is an area where there is little argument thankfully, we both have similar taste in names with only a couple of vetos from each side.
My only advice on names:

1) google it. check you aren't calling them after a paedo, etc

2) Ask close trusted friends what it will be called in the playground. Kids are cruel, etc

3) Double check the initials. Being called Petra Isabelle Gabriella is all very pretty but not if it spells PIG.
I would actually say don't do either of the first 2 things:

1. If the bad person you don't want to name your kid after isn't that well known (that you have to google it) then they certainly won't be remembered in a few years time (when it might start to matter). If your surname is West then calling your kid Fred isn't a great idea but you shouldn't need to go googling for peados...

[b]
2. And when you've got a name you love but your best friend hesitates before going "ummm.... yeah... that's um.... nice", you're then put off a perfectly decent name because of someone else's tastes.
[/b]

Our method to choosing both our kids' names was simply to come up with a list of names we liked and cross off the vetoes from either side about 7 months before baby was due. Having settled on a couple of boys names and a couple of girls names, we then randomly heard a completely different name a month or two before baby was born which just "clicked" for both of us. Hearing a name in a natural conversation makes it easier to like/dislike than simply reading it on a list IYSWIM. That's how we came to name ours Victoria and Emily.
Yes, but the most important thing about a baby's name isn't that the parents love it. The most important thing is that it doesn't hamstring the poor mite before it's even started.

It's definitely worth running the name past a few sober people, in case you're about to make an awful, awful mistake.

Yours,
Jimmerrino Smith

(Life ain't easy for a boy named Jimmerrino)

Shakermaker

Original Poster:

11,317 posts

99 months

Friday 6th October 2017
quotequote all
Vaud said:
Shakermaker said:
Started thinking about shortening down the list of names that we both like, this is an area where there is little argument thankfully, we both have similar taste in names with only a couple of vetos from each side.
My only advice on names:

1) google it. check you aren't calling them after a paedo, etc

2) Ask close trusted friends what it will be called in the playground. Kids are cruel, etc

3) Double check the initials. Being called Petra Isabelle Gabriella is all very pretty but not if it spells PIG.
2) reminds of me the bit in The Simpsons where they are trying to think what to call Bart

"Why don't we call it Larry?"
"Nah the kids will all call him Larry Fairy"
"Louis?"
"Screwy Louis"
"Marcus?"
"Mucus"
"What about Bart?"
"Bart, Art, Cart, Dart, Ee-art... nope can't see a problem with that!"


GIYess

1,311 posts

100 months

Friday 6th October 2017
quotequote all
Me an the wife say you never realise how many people you don't like until you are trying to name your baby smile

Vaud

50,290 posts

154 months

Friday 6th October 2017
quotequote all
wiggy001 said:
Our method to choosing both our kids' names was simply to come up with a list of names we liked and cross off the vetoes from either side about 7 months before baby was due. Having settled on a couple of boys names and a couple of girls names, we then randomly heard a completely different name a month or two before baby was born which just "clicked" for both of us. Hearing a name in a natural conversation makes it easier to like/dislike than simply reading it on a list IYSWIM. That's how we came to name ours Victoria and Emily.
We did that for the first one. Lots of lists.

The minor issue with our second was that she was also a girl, so all of the original lists that applied to the first one, now felt like "leftovers" for the second. So we took 2 weeks to decide after she was born and I kid you not, we went through 2600 names and then one just "popped out" as being right.

Huntsman

8,028 posts

249 months

Friday 6th October 2017
quotequote all
I gave my wife a list of boys names I likes, there was only one she thought acceptable, so that's what he got.

PurpleTurtle

6,941 posts

143 months

Friday 6th October 2017
quotequote all
GIYess said:
Me an the wife say you never realise how many people you don't like until you are trying to name your baby smile
I know of a couple who've had a huge sibling fallout because they gave their son as a middle name the name which the other couple were going to call their kid but sadly miscarried. Massive hissy fit from the latter, who are blessed with two other children, but fail to appreciate the other sibling and husband had chosen it already in honour of a paternal grandfather. It's a middle name FFS!!

Some people get massively precious over names. Last time I looked there wasn't a copyright on them.

Vaud

50,290 posts

154 months

Friday 6th October 2017
quotequote all
PurpleTurtle said:
I know of a couple who've had a huge sibling fallout because they gave their son as a middle name the name which the other couple were going to call their kid but sadly miscarried. Massive hissy fit from the latter, who are blessed with two other children, but fail to appreciate the other sibling and husband had chosen it already in honour of a paternal grandfather. It's a middle name FFS!!

Some people get massively precious over names. Last time I looked there wasn't a copyright on them.
Grief does do funny things to people, combine that with sibling rivalry...

fizz47

2,663 posts

209 months

Sunday 8th October 2017
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Went to the Baby and Toddler show yesterday in Sandown Park.

I honestly thought it would be a waste of time and pointless £8 or so per person ticket but O/H wanted to go so thought why not...

It actually turned out pretty good and purchased a couple of larger items that were cheaper than hightstreet or amazon.

It was only useful as we had done a lot of research beforehand (mainly on PH) about items we know we wanted already. If we did not know what items we wanted then easy to get sucked into buying stuff that looks good at the time...

Some of the things we got at the show:

SnuzPod
I paid : £180
JL / Mothercare price : £200

Sleepyhead
I paid £105
JL / Mothercare price : £120

Ewan the Sheep
I paid £25
JL/ Mothercare price: £30

MAM Anti-Colic Self-sterilising Bottle Set (Large)
I paid £29
Boots/ amazon price: £52

There was also a large area for lots of different pushchairs and babyseats and I assume there would be savings to have there as well - as we have already chosen our baby seat and pushchair (both Recaro which they did not have there) we didn't bother looking at them.

Also got the chance to try on different baby carriers which they had a discount on but will purchase at another time...

If there is a baby show nearby it may be worth checking out for some especially if you have a short lists of certain items..




















Edited by fizz47 on Sunday 8th October 14:18

Cyder

7,045 posts

219 months

Sunday 8th October 2017
quotequote all
Checking in.

Apples Juice #2 is due to make an appearance at the end of Nov. It's a bit weird going through it a second time remembering all the ups and downs we're about to go through again.

Vaud

50,290 posts

154 months

Sunday 8th October 2017
quotequote all
Cyder said:
Checking in.

Apples Juice #2 is due to make an appearance at the end of Nov. It's a bit weird going through it a second time remembering all the ups and downs we're about to go through again.
  1. 2 is a very different experience (at least it was for me)
The basics are easier. The complexity/time demands of 2...

Shakermaker

Original Poster:

11,317 posts

99 months

Monday 9th October 2017
quotequote all
fizz47 said:
Went to the Baby and Toddler show yesterday in Sandown Park.

I honestly thought it would be a waste of time and pointless £8 or so per person ticket but O/H wanted to go so thought why not...

It actually turned out pretty good and purchased a couple of larger items that were cheaper than hightstreet or amazon.

It was only useful as we had done a lot of research beforehand (mainly on PH) about items we know we wanted already. If we did not know what items we wanted then easy to get sucked into buying stuff that looks good at the time...

Some of the things we got at the show:

SnuzPod
I paid : £180
JL / Mothercare price : £200

Sleepyhead
I paid £105
JL / Mothercare price : £120

Ewan the Sheep
I paid £25
JL/ Mothercare price: £30

MAM Anti-Colic Self-sterilising Bottle Set (Large)
I paid £29
Boots/ amazon price: £52

There was also a large area for lots of different pushchairs and babyseats and I assume there would be savings to have there as well - as we have already chosen our baby seat and pushchair (both Recaro which they did not have there) we didn't bother looking at them.

Also got the chance to try on different baby carriers which they had a discount on but will purchase at another time...

If there is a baby show nearby it may be worth checking out for some especially if you have a short lists of certain items..
We also went to this over the weekend, with some free tickets.

It was worth the overly crowded nature of the place (if you're running a trade show for babies, remember that half the people going will have pushchairs to get around and need wider aisles to do so)

We saved over £300 on the price of the pushchair, car seat combo that we had already decided was "the one" that my wife wanted (and therefore, the one we wanted) and so her mum was happy to shell out for that - mother in laws aren't all as bad as some men make them out to be...

I also saved £10 on signing up for Costco which I'd been looking to do for a while anyway.

The only thing left for us to buy now is a changing table and a cot - and we have sourced the cot already, so just on the hunt for a changing table now.

MURRAY007

530 posts

194 months

Monday 9th October 2017
quotequote all
with less than 5 days to go, finally got round to filming a little comedy sketch for fitting the car seat.

https://youtu.be/3FgMKWWIWV4

(Must have volume on)

Hi

1,362 posts

177 months

Thursday 12th October 2017
quotequote all
Well our absolute joy and excitement only lasted 2 weeks. After my wife experienced some pain and a sudden drop off of the pregnancy symptoms we have seen numerous doctors who have so far confirmed all is not well. We need to wait 'til saturday to find out if it is a miscarriage or an eptopic, but we have been told it is one or the other.

We didn't tell anyone, which I am glad of, until we knew something was wrong and we told her parents so she has some extra support.

It's obviously harder for my wife to cope what with it all happening inside her body and still being there despite knowing something is wrong.
Any tips on how to help her cope would be gratefully received (I seem to be managing ok).

Bad times.

768

13,601 posts

95 months

Friday 13th October 2017
quotequote all
Sorry to hear that.

The worst aspect for me when my wife had a miscarriage was that it went on for a month while they gave her the drug to get everything out, which made her uncomfortable, before giving up and she had a procedure. I knew my mother had a miscarriage before having me but I'd just assumed it was a short event.

At the time they gave us a statistic that something like 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, so she could rationalise it as we'd probably had our blip, that was it. They get you to wait a month before trying again, but apparently the odds of conceiving are then greater. We'd had to wait quite a while only to have a miscarriage which she found difficult, but then conceived again straight after - only to find it was twins. They're now 7 months old.

Good luck.

S100HP

12,645 posts

166 months

Friday 13th October 2017
quotequote all
Vaud said:
  1. 2 is a very different experience (at least it was for me)
The basics are easier. The complexity/time demands of 2...
Oh yes. It's certainly challenging.

768

13,601 posts

95 months

Friday 13th October 2017
quotequote all
PurpleTurtle said:
I know of a couple who've had a huge sibling fallout because they gave their son as a middle name the name which the other couple were going to call their kid but sadly miscarried. Massive hissy fit from the latter, who are blessed with two other children, but fail to appreciate the other sibling and husband had chosen it already in honour of a paternal grandfather. It's a middle name FFS!!

Some people get massively precious over names. Last time I looked there wasn't a copyright on them.
I've never really understood the name territory wars. Although when we were expecting our twins, my MiL named a dog after my wife's grandfather, I think I'll be trying to calm my wife down about that until long after the dog's gone.

Animal

5,246 posts

267 months

Friday 13th October 2017
quotequote all
Hi said:
Well our absolute joy and excitement only lasted 2 weeks. After my wife experienced some pain and a sudden drop off of the pregnancy symptoms we have seen numerous doctors who have so far confirmed all is not well. We need to wait 'til saturday to find out if it is a miscarriage or an eptopic, but we have been told it is one or the other.

We didn't tell anyone, which I am glad of, until we knew something was wrong and we told her parents so she has some extra support.

It's obviously harder for my wife to cope what with it all happening inside her body and still being there despite knowing something is wrong.
Any tips on how to help her cope would be gratefully received (I seem to be managing ok).

Bad times.
Terribly sorry to hear that. We had quite a dramatic miscarriage last yr (the pregnancy came as a complete shock) and all I can tell you is that my Mrs went back to work too soon without giving herself some headspace to accept what had happened (her first week of a new job and she only took 2 days off).

We bought ourselves a plant to remind us of the date and of the baby we didn't know we'd lost until it was too late. It seemed like a stupid idea at the time, and something I did to placate my heartbroken partner, but doesn't seem so irrational now.

I think counselling might be a good idea, if you're both open to it?

Huntsman

8,028 posts

249 months

Friday 13th October 2017
quotequote all
Hi said:
Well our absolute joy and excitement only lasted 2 weeks. After my wife experienced some pain and a sudden drop off of the pregnancy symptoms we have seen numerous doctors who have so far confirmed all is not well. We need to wait 'til saturday to find out if it is a miscarriage or an eptopic, but we have been told it is one or the other.

We didn't tell anyone, which I am glad of, until we knew something was wrong and we told her parents so she has some extra support.

It's obviously harder for my wife to cope what with it all happening inside her body and still being there despite knowing something is wrong.
Any tips on how to help her cope would be gratefully received (I seem to be managing ok).

Bad times.
Sorry.

For an awful lot of people, starting a family isn't and easy road to follow, its the biggest club in the country that no ones talks about being a member of until they join.

We took solace in each other and for us, visiting national trust places was a saviour.

andy-xr

13,204 posts

203 months

Friday 13th October 2017
quotequote all
Hi said:
Well our absolute joy and excitement only lasted 2 weeks. After my wife experienced some pain and a sudden drop off of the pregnancy symptoms we have seen numerous doctors who have so far confirmed all is not well. We need to wait 'til saturday to find out if it is a miscarriage or an eptopic, but we have been told it is one or the other.

We didn't tell anyone, which I am glad of, until we knew something was wrong and we told her parents so she has some extra support.

It's obviously harder for my wife to cope what with it all happening inside her body and still being there despite knowing something is wrong.
Any tips on how to help her cope would be gratefully received (I seem to be managing ok).

Bad times.
We lost our second last month at about 10 weeks, my wife got ill and either the infection or the penicillin stopped things growing. She kind of knew then (said she didnt feel pregnant) but we waited for a while and then went for a scan which confirmed it.

It was heartbreaking. I think the worst bit was unwinding all the plans we'd made and the mindsets we'd got into. We had told friends, for the reason that if everything went fine we wanted them to know and if everything didnt go fine, we may need them to lean on. I'm glad we did tell them, despite common advice.

I think what's got us through it is really open communication and spending time talking, but having enough going on not to dwell on things.

There's no 'well at least now.....' conversations to be had, as there's no consolation. Sometimes, my wife just wanted to sit and cry for a while. It's not for me to say 'dont cry' as she needs to get that feeling out
There's also no going back to how things were. It has happened, and it's something to come to terms with.
There's also no harm in thinking about it. We still think and talk about how sad we are about it not happening.

My wife's quite defiant and wanted to get pregnant straight away again, soon as she's had a couple of cycles for regularity and to make sure that any tests were now negative (otherwise it'd be a pill and wait for things to come through). I wanted to wait a while because I'm not mentally ready to lose another at the moment.

Hard times for the ladies, physically and mentally, also hard times for the blokes too. Dont feel that you have to be a rock if you're just dust and pebbles inside.

Shakermaker

Original Poster:

11,317 posts

99 months

Friday 13th October 2017
quotequote all
Hey that's very sad to hear, and I cannot imagine how you are feeling after being in the right mindset.

Be there for each other, and it is alright to cry.