Any other expectant Dads?

Any other expectant Dads?

Author
Discussion

richatnort

3,018 posts

130 months

Thursday 29th August 2019
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Gents, I know we have a few colic parents on here and after some advice. At 10 days now and unsure if it is colic or not. On an evening after a feed she doesn't settle for 2 hours with crying and lifting her legs and restless which sound all the signs of colic but it's only once a day and she then does some big farts. Does this sound like the start of it?

Support worker suggested infacol but not sure if it's needed just yet and could do with some real world experience on the matter.

Vaud

50,291 posts

154 months

Thursday 29th August 2019
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Trapped wind? There is a trick where you lie them down and gently "cycle" the legs which can help.

vonuber

17,868 posts

164 months

Thursday 29th August 2019
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I hate it when people patronise you for looking after your kids - "oh you are doing so well".

Oh fk off.

Blown2CV

28,698 posts

202 months

Thursday 29th August 2019
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g3org3y said:
Hypnobirthing course this Saturday (and next!) 10-4. cry
that is a long session!! Some people thinking hypobirthing is daft but we did it and whatever chills the missus out is a good idea i think. Worry can have psychosomatic effects, basically physiological stress etc. and this can directly slow down birth progress. So yea shame to burn the saturdays but go for it.

lyonspride

2,978 posts

154 months

Thursday 29th August 2019
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vonuber said:
I hate it when people patronise you for looking after your kids - "oh you are doing so well".

Oh fk off.
I think that's because mums have unrealistic expectations given to them by friends and by the media, when in reality it's much harder, it's much more messy and considerably less perfect. My missus needed a lot of reassurance during the first 6 months or so, because she was convinced she must be doing everything wrong as "XYZ never had these problems".

Vaud

50,291 posts

154 months

Thursday 29th August 2019
quotequote all
lyonspride said:
I think that's because mums have unrealistic expectations given to them by friends and by the media, when in reality it's much harder, it's much more messy and considerably less perfect. My missus needed a lot of reassurance during the first 6 months or so, because she was convinced she must be doing everything wrong as "XYZ never had these problems".
Yup, and even friends lie.

"Oh yes he slept right through".. (from 12-4am)
and
"Never sick at all" (sick at nursery instead)
and
"Never cries" (seriously? Oh I forgot you have a nanny)

vonuber

17,868 posts

164 months

Thursday 29th August 2019
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lyonspride said:
I think that's because mums have unrealistic expectations given to them by friends and by the media, when in reality it's much harder, it's much more messy and considerably less perfect. My missus needed a lot of reassurance during the first 6 months or so, because she was convinced she must be doing everything wrong as "XYZ never had these problems".
Oh no, not that - i mean random women coming up to me in the street to say it to my face, as somehow - despite being a man - ive managed to not let my two girls die.

Just today on the tube i had completely unsolicited parenting advice from an old woman who decided that i was 'doing too much' with them in a day.

Really annoys me.

Vaud

50,291 posts

154 months

Thursday 29th August 2019
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vonuber said:
Oh no, not that - i mean random women coming up to me in the street to say it to my face, as somehow - despite being a man - ive managed to not let my two girls die.

Just today on the tube i had completely unsolicited parenting advice from an old woman who decided that i was 'doing too much' with them in a day.

Really annoys me.
It is indeed very annoying. "ahh aren't you doing well (for a man)"

Utter sexism. I even got it at some of the baby sensory classes.. from the female teacher.

Stockman14

263 posts

69 months

Thursday 29th August 2019
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C-section booked for 10th October, due date was 17th! She's coming early!

Blown2CV

28,698 posts

202 months

Thursday 29th August 2019
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Vaud said:
vonuber said:
Oh no, not that - i mean random women coming up to me in the street to say it to my face, as somehow - despite being a man - ive managed to not let my two girls die.

Just today on the tube i had completely unsolicited parenting advice from an old woman who decided that i was 'doing too much' with them in a day.

Really annoys me.
It is indeed very annoying. "ahh aren't you doing well (for a man)"

Utter sexism. I even got it at some of the baby sensory classes.. from the female teacher.
everyday sexism from females towards males in the land of parenting, it's very common indeed, and totally ignored in society as a form of sexism. Often when you mention it, you are seen as sensitive or like it's a joke or something. Women who work in the related jobs like midwives or health visitors are some of the worst. You also get it from wedding suppliers!!!

Blown2CV

28,698 posts

202 months

Thursday 29th August 2019
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Stockman14 said:
C-section booked for 10th October, due date was 17th! She's coming early!
they will always book planned C-sections early as they want to reduce the chance of the baby turning up naturally. Best of luck!

CharlieH89

9,079 posts

164 months

Thursday 29th August 2019
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richatnort said:
Gents, I know we have a few colic parents on here and after some advice. At 10 days now and unsure if it is colic or not. On an evening after a feed she doesn't settle for 2 hours with crying and lifting her legs and restless which sound all the signs of colic but it's only once a day and she then does some big farts. Does this sound like the start of it?

Support worker suggested infacol but not sure if it's needed just yet and could do with some real world experience on the matter.
Colic does normally tend to happen in the evening, there were many of times at night around 6pm we knew it would start.
You can wind the baby during the day, itll still happen. It's not yourself winding her insufficiently.

We tried infacol but it didn't work then moved onto colief, at £18 a bottle from Boots at first then started buying it from Dolphin Fitness saving £5 a go, which normally lasted a week.
Our daughter is 6 months old next week and we weened her off the colief a month ago.
Not exactly sure when she could have been stopped as my wife dealt with all the research but she had no colic episodes after we started the colief.

Sambucket said:
Before kids, I always used to think people (mostly women tbh) resigned from high pressure jobs, because they wanted to spend more time with there young kids. But maybe also, they don't have a lot of choice in the matter. Much as I try, baby doesn't seem to like me and the bottle quite as much as mummy.
hehe I probably do a couple of feeds on average daily and the baby will guzzle a bottle if she is starving but also mess about for me at times too, where as she will drink every bottle my wife gives her.
I sit her on my knee and at times she is sliding down my leg, flat on her back laugh

JackThrust

158 posts

162 months

Thursday 29th August 2019
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Vaud said:
It is indeed very annoying. "ahh aren't you doing well (for a man)"

Utter sexism. I even got it at some of the baby sensory classes.. from the female teacher.
The one I got a lot was (when out with the lad just me and him) "ooooh are you babysitting today?" Since when did looking after your own child constitute babysitting!?

While on the subject of baby-related sexism, when Ben was first born and he was struggling to latch on and feed all we got from every midwife was "he's just lazy because he's a boy", p*ssed me off no end that did.

sjj84

2,390 posts

218 months

Thursday 29th August 2019
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Stockman14 said:
C-section booked for 10th October, due date was 17th! She's coming early!
You've got your date early! Ours is due 23rd September, we're still waiting for a c section date.

I'd say our relationship has been strained at times since our first was born, I put it 100% down to lack of sleep. I also do shift work and I think it's hard for anybody that has never done the constantly changing from days to nights to understand the toll it takes on the body.

Our nearly three year old has been pretty good from day one to be fair, sleeps pretty well, eats well, wasn't even much of a crier. I have this dreading feeling that he has lulled us into a false sense of security and the new one is going to be a total nightmare!

C.A.R. I hope you and your family are holding up ok. Best wishes to you all.

vonuber

17,868 posts

164 months

Thursday 29th August 2019
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Oh god don't start with the 'are you babysitting' one.

justin220

5,331 posts

203 months

Thursday 29th August 2019
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cbmotorsport said:
We had to go into hospital because our little girl dropped too much weight in the first week. Mum was breast feeding. It was a bit of a struggle. The hospital visit was so stressful. We were tired, over awed, worried and blaming ourselves when we thought we were doing our best. The hospital were lovely, got my wife expressing via a breast pump (we'd tried this already) and our baby took a bottle with no problems. A week or two later she was taking both bottle or boob and piled on the weight.

I guess my point is that it's totally normal, it doesn't last, and you shouldn't blame yourselves. In a short while it'll be a distant memory.
Same with us last week. 13% weight loss due to the milk not coming through after the C section. Readmitted to hospital and was all very stressful at the time but had to be done. He's since regained his weight, now 2 weeks old and back to his original birth weight.

It's been a complete change in lifestyle. The day just flies by doing absolutely nothing other than looking after him hehe

justin220

5,331 posts

203 months

Thursday 29th August 2019
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Also, we've resorted to bottle feeding aswell. Expressed and top ups with formula. He's a hungry horror so the formula has been a godsend.

We'll get back to breastfeeding soon but wife needed a break, it was (and every midwife) putting far too much pressure on her causing some hormonal moments to say the least.

Just do whatever works for you

richatnort

3,018 posts

130 months

Thursday 29th August 2019
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justin220 said:
Same with us last week. 13% weight loss due to the milk not coming through after the C section. Readmitted to hospital and was all very stressful at the time but had to be done. He's since regained his weight, now 2 weeks old and back to his original birth weight.

It's been a complete change in lifestyle. The day just flies by doing absolutely nothing other than looking after him hehe
We were down to 11.5% weight loss because of the c section and milk not coming through too! I do wonder if it's a c section thing but we're slowly gaining at about 20g every 48 hours. Luckily didn't have to be readmitted just supervised every 48 hours.

richatnort

3,018 posts

130 months

Thursday 29th August 2019
quotequote all
CharlieH89 said:
richatnort said:
Gents, I know we have a few colic parents on here and after some advice. At 10 days now and unsure if it is colic or not. On an evening after a feed she doesn't settle for 2 hours with crying and lifting her legs and restless which sound all the signs of colic but it's only once a day and she then does some big farts. Does this sound like the start of it?

Support worker suggested infacol but not sure if it's needed just yet and could do with some real world experience on the matter.
Colic does normally tend to happen in the evening, there were many of times at night around 6pm we knew it would start.
You can wind the baby during the day, itll still happen. It's not yourself winding her insufficiently.

We tried infacol but it didn't work then moved onto colief, at £18 a bottle from Boots at first then started buying it from Dolphin Fitness saving £5 a go, which normally lasted a week.
Our daughter is 6 months old next week and we weened her off the colief a month ago.
Not exactly sure when she could have been stopped as my wife dealt with all the research but she had no colic episodes after we started the colief.
Thanks for this it does explain a lot and she start around 6pm too. How do you adminster it as the guide says using the drop thing at the back of the tongue but quite hard to get down there and she spits it up the first time we tried it.

I will look into how long to keep it on for and will look at where you got it from as if we do need to use infacol that's a good saving!

Thanks for the advice it does sound rough for them!

Peanut Gallery

2,418 posts

109 months

Thursday 29th August 2019
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And the "you are doing it all wrong" when I was trying to explain to her not to draw on library books. Does my blood pressure no good.