Any other expectant Dads?

Any other expectant Dads?

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Shakermaker

Original Poster:

8,022 posts

38 months

Wednesday 5th July 2017
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Toyoda said:
Shakermaker said:
You've hit directly with the current 3 responsibilities I have been given by my wife:

1. NCT group - where, when etc. We are due in January so expecting classes to be Oct/Nov time
2. Car seat "System" - which one is best, what to do etc. I am aware that the most important factor, really, is having the child securely strapped in. The rest is then the aesthetics and the practicality of the unit, but something which clips in and out of the car in a simple motion is going to be the best bet I reckon.
3. Redecorating the spare room and finding the appropriate furniture for it. Well aware that many, many places have enormous mark ups on it. IKEA however, seems to actually prove remarkably practical and I am quite happy with those little Allen keys and a bit of music to listen to. Just have to endure going to IKEA but I can cope, just...
Very good. In that case allow me to elaborate.
1. NCT Group - worth booking well in advance. We left it a bit too late and had to travel a little further to the next nearest class. It was no bad thing though, as several people had done the same and so a few lived relatively nearby, which is handy for them all keeping in touch and meeting up during maternity leave. Just be prepared for potential one upmanship when discussing jobs/home/outlook on parenthood/purchase of baby items etc. Shouldn't be a problem for all of us powerfully built company directors though! biggrin

2. Whatever system you get, make sure you can get adapters to fit the car seat to the buggy frame You can possibly buy all the same brand to make it easier however what we did was get a maxi cosi pebble car seat with the separate isofix FamilyFix base, so you could just 'dock' and 'undock' the car seat to its base (permanently in place in the car) with ease. We had a silver cross buggy, so got some silver cross adapters which clipped to the car seat (and could stay clipped in place all the time), so undocking from the car then docking into the buggy was straightforward. Didn't bother with a flat carrycot attachment for the buggy frame, just the pushchair style seat, which came with a newborn insert to provide a flat bed. But for quick in and outs (popping to shops/docs etc) we just left baby in the car seat, clipped to the buggy frame.

3. Funnily enough we went with Ikea for most furniture following a fortuitous balls-up with the colour scheme of some more expensive flat pack tat the mrs originally ordered. Drill driver and a some locktite threadlocker and you're away.
The one thing we weren't sure about buying was a rocking chair but it's been one of our best purchases, especially as we bought it second hand. Whether you're up in the middle of the night or trying to get baby off to sleep by day, a lovely padded rocking chair is comfy for all involved and I can't see how we'd have managed without one. Something like this:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/d/Glider-Chairs-Ottomans-...
Great, thank you. As it happens, we already have a rocking chair, so that's one less expense thing to worry about.

Good to know about the "travel system" things. My wife is very particular about what pram/pushchair thing she wants, and its something her mum is happy to purchase for us, so I just need to suggest one that is at least compatible with the car seat bases?

Right now January seems ages away. I'm sure it won't be!

lufbramatt

3,172 posts

72 months

Wednesday 5th July 2017
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Shakermaker said:
Great, thank you. As it happens, we already have a rocking chair, so that's one less expense thing to worry about.

Good to know about the "travel system" things. My wife is very particular about what pram/pushchair thing she wants, and its something her mum is happy to purchase for us, so I just need to suggest one that is at least compatible with the car seat bases?

Right now January seems ages away. I'm sure it won't be!
Our maxi cosi car seat fits on our silver cross surf (£160 ebay bargain biggrin ) chassis with a pair of adapters, you can get various different ones so you're not limited to buying everything from the same company.

However I don't think we've ever used the car seat on the pram as it's not a good idea to have babies scrunched up in a car seat for hours, they're much healthier laying flat. So it's not that important IMO.

Our eldest would sleep for ages in his pram, we would walk miles and miles with him asleep so he had a decent nap, was quite nice for a bit of alone time. Our youngest won't settle in the same pram but loves being carried in a sling. All babies are different. Slings are also great for round the house so you or your partner can carry baby while hoovering, washing up etc. without unsettling them, and make shopping trips so much easier as you don't have to faff around with an unwieldy pushchair.

essayer

5,788 posts

132 months

Wednesday 5th July 2017
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Buy as much as possible second hand then flog it all again when done.

louiebaby

8,591 posts

129 months

Wednesday 5th July 2017
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This is the single best bit of advice I was ever given. It doesn't get mentioned enough. Here goes:

Baby-grows have unusual neck openings, they sort of cross over each other. There is a reason for this. It makes it very easy to remove them by pulling them down. When there is st everywhere, (and there will be) not having to pull st covered baby-grows over their head is very useful. Just roll them down and off.

Also, the st they st in the first 5 days or so never comes out, wait a week until dressing them in anything "nice".

Sometimes, baby-grows just need to go in the bin. They're about £3 for 5 from cheap places like Primark. Sometimes, just chuck them in the bin.

Puggit

40,917 posts

186 months

Wednesday 5th July 2017
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DRFC1879 said:
Also, do loads of stuff with the lads now. LOADS of it. Your social life will gradually return but boozy nights chucking arrows down the pub will be off the agenda soon.
It was the second child that killed the personal life, much more than the first! As you say it's gradually returning now they are 9 and 10...
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talkssense

871 posts

140 months

Wednesday 5th July 2017
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The first few months are grim, people never seem to talk about how grim.

My first born August 2009. Has a T shirt "Awesome since 2009". I did point out recently it should really say 2010 because once they start to respond and have their own personality it really is an awesome time in all your lives. The first six months - not so much, but it's not for long.

As as loads of others have said routine is the key.

PostHeads123

564 posts

73 months

Wednesday 5th July 2017
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Got to be honest its very hard work I have a 15 month old who has not slept through the night once and was sick a lot once he started nursery 2 days a week, I dont really go to bed these days tbh, me time is usually 3am to 6am lol often you will find me in the garden then.

What advice would I give looking back, urmmm if your baby has problems breast feeding just go to the bottle, my son had problems on the boob but midwife kept telling us to keep trying, end result was he lost too much weight and ended in special care unit. Aptimal do these little bottles that come with pre-sterilized teats you use once and throw out you can get in supermarkets, expensive but worth having in at the start.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/i/263065869396?chn=ps&d...

Also I recommend those non touch thermometer instead of the in ear of under arm as these are so much easier to use,

http://www.argos.co.uk/product/5583797?cmpid=GS001...tongue outla-196523437525|crid:77627772805|nw:g|rnd:16077551159856384022|dvc:c|adp:1o1&gclid=CNC1xOLt8dQCFXAA0wodJyIJKA

Primark is good for cloths for them as so cheap you can bin them after 1 wear, think a t-shirt is £1.50



Edited by PostHeads123 on Wednesday 5th July 10:49

SlimRick

2,055 posts

103 months

Wednesday 5th July 2017
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Enjoy every experience! My little one is eleven months old and still doesn't sleep through the night. I love it, not much beats seeing him smile at 3am and being the one to comfort him back to sleep.

SpeckledJim

17,166 posts

191 months

Wednesday 5th July 2017
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I'll be the lone voice that says don't worry about routine.

We didn't with ours, and whilst friends were dashing about trying to fit everyone's life around The Routine, we just brought our kids with us and let them eat and nap as-and-when it was practical.

Life is complicated enough without having to design it to accommodate a number of additional fixed hard-points.

Just our experience, everyone will do it their own way.

scherzkeks

4,460 posts

72 months

Wednesday 5th July 2017
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talkssense said:
The first few months are grim, people never seem to talk about how grim.

My first born August 2009. Has a T shirt "Awesome since 2009". I did point out recently it should really say 2010 because once they start to respond and have their own personality it really is an awesome time in all your lives. The first six months - not so much, but it's not for long.

As as loads of others have said routine is the key.
Agreed. Lots of sleepless nights, running on fumes, agitation, etc.

Doesn't get truly enjoyable until they become toddlers who can communicate verbally and walk. They are also at their cutest here, IMO.

Biggest surprise to me was just how strong the bond becomes with time. You will do anything for them, in the poetic sense.

Alucidnation

9,656 posts

108 months

Wednesday 5th July 2017
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Christ, it's all getting a bit... MN in here.

biggrin

Unexpected Item In Bagging Area

5,848 posts

127 months

Wednesday 5th July 2017
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dazwalsh

4,142 posts

79 months

Wednesday 5th July 2017
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To the outsiders who haven't experienced it, it probably all sounds a bit mushy, but it truly is the most bonkers thing that will happen in your lifetime. The love you have for your own children is beyond words and trying to describe it would fall hopelessly short of reality.

Good luck OP, no advice to give apart from it all sort of clicks into place once they are born so try not to be too nervous. They really come into their own when they can talk and walk whilst their spongy little brains are taking everything in. My little girl just asked me how rain works, easy peasy knocked that one out of the park but then she asked me how wind works. :S

Eddie Strohacker

3,879 posts

24 months

Wednesday 5th July 2017
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Then there's the lies. The glorious, delicious, spun out for years lies. I told mine the world was in black & white until about 1967, when scientists invented colour & gradually set it free round the world. Showed her a couple of Pathe news reels to prove it.

This is payback for the first few months, which are literally st.

Rude-boy

22,087 posts

171 months

Wednesday 5th July 2017
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Have no children so can't help with 'direct' advice but my best friend and his partner has just had their first on Monday night. The last 6 months everyone who has children already have been telling him "You have no bloody idea. You have a tsunami coming up behind you and it's going to hit and your life will never be the same again."

Personally I think that they were just getting their revenge in as he's one of those people who could fall in a manure cart and come out smelling of roses having sold the farmer the contents back.

Peanut Gallery

1,246 posts

48 months

Wednesday 5th July 2017
quotequote all
Eddie Strohacker said:
Then there's the lies. The glorious, delicious, spun out for years lies. I told mine the world was in black & white until about 1967, when scientists invented colour & gradually set it free round the world. Showed her a couple of Pathe news reels to prove it.

This is payback for the first few months, which are literally st.
May I refer you to one thread, aptly named Lies to tell your children -
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...

I got a good few laughs out of that one!

I am looking forward to it all, still mega nervous, D-day is Tuesday, but who knows!

TheInternet

2,703 posts

101 months

Wednesday 5th July 2017
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Ignore anyone that just says 'baby' instead of 'the baby', such as:

essayer said:
When baby arrives you won't feel like cooking

Shakermaker

Original Poster:

8,022 posts

38 months

Wednesday 5th July 2017
quotequote all
Peanut Gallery said:
Eddie Strohacker said:
Then there's the lies. The glorious, delicious, spun out for years lies. I told mine the world was in black & white until about 1967, when scientists invented colour & gradually set it free round the world. Showed her a couple of Pathe news reels to prove it.

This is payback for the first few months, which are literally st.
May I refer you to one thread, aptly named Lies to tell your children -
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...

I got a good few laughs out of that one!

I am looking forward to it all, still mega nervous, D-day is Tuesday, but who knows!
Ah now this looks entirely like my kind of thread!

Shaoxter

3,244 posts

62 months

Wednesday 5th July 2017
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I honestly think some people take it too seriously and make it too hard on themselves. Had our first baby 6 months ago, sure it's tough (especially on my wife) but also extremely rewarding. Or maybe we're just lucky that he feeds well, sleeps well and hasn't had any health issues.

louiebaby

8,591 posts

129 months

Wednesday 5th July 2017
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I work in quite a large office, so there's always a "new Dad" somewhere.

I love it when they start boasting. "He's 6 weeks old, and he's been sleeping through for the last month or so."

Inevitably, about a fortnight later they look like an extra from a zombie movie, and haven't slept for a few days. Karma is great.

There is no such thing as the perfect baby, the same goes for children, teenagers, etc. Just do your best. And if you ever need confirmation that you're not doing too bad a job, book a few nights at the next Butlins Toddler week. wink