Any other expectant Dads?
Discussion
Gary29 said:
Did you steal my child?! Our daughter is exactly the same (15 months now!!) it's a long old slog, I won't sugar coat it.
She wakes up around 8am every day, has an hour nap in the afternoon, but only in a moving pram, so as you say, zero respite for either of us, and then bath time 7pm, and has to be nursed/rocked to sleep at night, which usually takes a couple of hours! Missus finally puts her down around 10pm, we just can't seem to bring the bed time forward no matter what we do. Missus is knackered by 10pm as you would expect, so it's straight to bed to sleep.
My advice would be to try as hard as you can to maintain your relationship with mum, as that has been the only thing that has suffered a little, just due to the fact that we don't get to spend any time together as a couple, which we expected, just not to this degree!
But by mercy of all mercies, we did manage to settle her at 7.30pm last night, bottle of red wine on the sofa watching netflix together, absolute BLISS! So there is hope, just work together and share the load as best you can before any resentment crops up from either side, it's the tiredness that gets you, so always think carefully before you say ANYHTHING out loud, tolerance levels are non-existent without sleep.
Good luck!
We're also (3mo old) going through the zero day-sleep thing at the moment, but we're both hesitant to complain too much about it because the nights have been so, so good.She wakes up around 8am every day, has an hour nap in the afternoon, but only in a moving pram, so as you say, zero respite for either of us, and then bath time 7pm, and has to be nursed/rocked to sleep at night, which usually takes a couple of hours! Missus finally puts her down around 10pm, we just can't seem to bring the bed time forward no matter what we do. Missus is knackered by 10pm as you would expect, so it's straight to bed to sleep.
My advice would be to try as hard as you can to maintain your relationship with mum, as that has been the only thing that has suffered a little, just due to the fact that we don't get to spend any time together as a couple, which we expected, just not to this degree!
But by mercy of all mercies, we did manage to settle her at 7.30pm last night, bottle of red wine on the sofa watching netflix together, absolute BLISS! So there is hope, just work together and share the load as best you can before any resentment crops up from either side, it's the tiredness that gets you, so always think carefully before you say ANYHTHING out loud, tolerance levels are non-existent without sleep.
Good luck!
Our little girl seems to have built an association with the bedroom and her crib thing with sleep, just as long as we don't try to put her down too early she generally sleeps with no fuss at all. We tend to take her up at 21:30-22:30 depending on how crabby she is, missus gives her one more feed in bed and then we put her in the cot, turn lights off - then she's done till 7 or 8am. Actually on Sunday morning we had to wake her up quite forcibly because we were about to have a boob explosion
During the day she rarely naps, and if she does (usually in the car) it's for an hour max, so I am quietly concerned that she's not getting the 15+ hours sleep that babies are apparently supposed to have... but the system seems to be working.
We now feel under pressure to get her down earlier, because that's what "everybody else" is doing. It's a little selfish, but in the current system we can even get away with going to the pub for some dinner, baby is usually quiet and is more than welcome at the local, we bring her home at 10 after I've had a skinful and the missus has had a J20 or two and she goes straight to sleep. If we put her down at 7 like "normal parents" then that opportunity is gone, but in return we do get a couple of quiet Netflix hours to ourselves I guess...
I think we're going to just creep our routine earlier and earlier in 15minute steps, obviously as a toddler we can't be having her up and about at 10pm so we need to force the timing eventually.
Lazadude said:
For balance, have done no sleep training (because other half doesn't want to) but we have been doing routines before bed. (PJs - teeth - potty - book - bed) We generally get 8-7. Took until she was over 2 though to stop needing something at 3am...
I would have happily done some training, have a camera in her room so can watch her if needed. Wife wouldn't do it, although it's funny since she's the one that moans about not getting uninterrupted sleep....
sounds like you don't need to!! I would have happily done some training, have a camera in her room so can watch her if needed. Wife wouldn't do it, although it's funny since she's the one that moans about not getting uninterrupted sleep....
Fonzey said:
We're also (3mo old) going through the zero day-sleep thing at the moment, but we're both hesitant to complain too much about it because the nights have been so, so good.
Our little girl seems to have built an association with the bedroom and her crib thing with sleep, just as long as we don't try to put her down too early she generally sleeps with no fuss at all. We tend to take her up at 21:30-22:30 depending on how crabby she is, missus gives her one more feed in bed and then we put her in the cot, turn lights off - then she's done till 7 or 8am. Actually on Sunday morning we had to wake her up quite forcibly because we were about to have a boob explosion
During the day she rarely naps, and if she does (usually in the car) it's for an hour max, so I am quietly concerned that she's not getting the 15+ hours sleep that babies are apparently supposed to have... but the system seems to be working.
We now feel under pressure to get her down earlier, because that's what "everybody else" is doing. It's a little selfish, but in the current system we can even get away with going to the pub for some dinner, baby is usually quiet and is more than welcome at the local, we bring her home at 10 after I've had a skinful and the missus has had a J20 or two and she goes straight to sleep. If we put her down at 7 like "normal parents" then that opportunity is gone, but in return we do get a couple of quiet Netflix hours to ourselves I guess...
I think we're going to just creep our routine earlier and earlier in 15minute steps, obviously as a toddler we can't be having her up and about at 10pm so we need to force the timing eventually.
All i can say is every baby is different, don't feel pressured into doing anything just because it's normal that's not the way to do something! If she's only 3 months she doesn't fully understand the difference between day & night, i think around 4 months they start to get a circadian rhythm but certainly something needs to be thought by 6 months. Our little girl seems to have built an association with the bedroom and her crib thing with sleep, just as long as we don't try to put her down too early she generally sleeps with no fuss at all. We tend to take her up at 21:30-22:30 depending on how crabby she is, missus gives her one more feed in bed and then we put her in the cot, turn lights off - then she's done till 7 or 8am. Actually on Sunday morning we had to wake her up quite forcibly because we were about to have a boob explosion
During the day she rarely naps, and if she does (usually in the car) it's for an hour max, so I am quietly concerned that she's not getting the 15+ hours sleep that babies are apparently supposed to have... but the system seems to be working.
We now feel under pressure to get her down earlier, because that's what "everybody else" is doing. It's a little selfish, but in the current system we can even get away with going to the pub for some dinner, baby is usually quiet and is more than welcome at the local, we bring her home at 10 after I've had a skinful and the missus has had a J20 or two and she goes straight to sleep. If we put her down at 7 like "normal parents" then that opportunity is gone, but in return we do get a couple of quiet Netflix hours to ourselves I guess...
I think we're going to just creep our routine earlier and earlier in 15minute steps, obviously as a toddler we can't be having her up and about at 10pm so we need to force the timing eventually.
My daughter is 5 months and has about 4 naps in the day 2 in the morning & two in the afternoon and personally it works for us, we love the break to be able to do adult things or just sit there in silence but i think she is better for them too, less cranky but even with these naps she goes down at 7 until 6 with maybe the odd wake up because of bad dreams or full of cold.
theboss said:
It’s all kicked off for me - waters broke at 4am and we’re in the hospital in the early stages of labour 
We’re all done. Very swift progression, everything went according to textbook and he was born just after 10:40 weighing 3.78kg. No time for the epidural she wanted.He’s now demonstrating a strong chomping reflex and we’re sat having a coffee. Could even be home by this evening.
Really heart wrenching stuff and I feel tremendously for those who haven’t had such plain sailing.
Peanut Gallery said:
Lazadude said:
For balance, have done no sleep training (because other half doesn't want to) but we have been doing routines before bed. (PJs - teeth - potty - book - bed) We generally get 8-7. Took until she was over 2 though to stop needing something at 3am...
I would have happily done some training, have a camera in her room so can watch her if needed. Wife wouldn't do it, although it's funny since she's the one that moans about not getting uninterrupted sleep....
Another no trainer here. A routine was starting 10 to 9, but... I would have happily done some training, have a camera in her room so can watch her if needed. Wife wouldn't do it, although it's funny since she's the one that moans about not getting uninterrupted sleep....
SWBO currently in early labour with no2. Here we go again.
Rutter said:
Huntsman said:
We had ours at 30 weeks, 3lb 11ozs. 3 weeks in incubator and 3 weeks in a plastic box. We brought him home at 36 weeks weighing 5lbs.
He's now 4 and in age 5 to 6 clothes, they soon catch up.
Another preemie dad here, my boy was born at 33 weeks 3lb 14oz, he'll be 3 next month, they say by the 2nd birthday you would never know they were early and I would agree.He's now 4 and in age 5 to 6 clothes, they soon catch up.
Morgan (ofc her name had to be faintly car related) was 870g / 1lb14oz when she was born at just 27 weeks. She could literally fit in the palm of my hand.
Glad your boys are doing well
theboss said:
We’re all done. Very swift progression, everything went according to textbook and he was born just after 10:40 weighing 3.78kg. No time for the epidural she wanted.
He’s now demonstrating a strong chomping reflex and we’re sat having a coffee. Could even be home by this evening.
Really heart wrenching stuff and I feel tremendously for those who haven’t had such plain sailing.
Congratulations! Excellent news, always good to hear the good stories along with the more difficult birthing journeys!He’s now demonstrating a strong chomping reflex and we’re sat having a coffee. Could even be home by this evening.
Really heart wrenching stuff and I feel tremendously for those who haven’t had such plain sailing.
She's 25+4 today, things are pretty calm but feels like should be worrying more. It's great to see all the contributions on here!
theboss said:
We’re all done. Very swift progression, everything went according to textbook and he was born just after 10:40 weighing 3.78kg. No time for the epidural she wanted.
He’s now demonstrating a strong chomping reflex and we’re sat having a coffee. Could even be home by this evening.
Really heart wrenching stuff and I feel tremendously for those who haven’t had such plain sailing.
Congrats!!!!He’s now demonstrating a strong chomping reflex and we’re sat having a coffee. Could even be home by this evening.
Really heart wrenching stuff and I feel tremendously for those who haven’t had such plain sailing.
Also no fair.... Started 9pm last night, still no sign.. At least Jr1 is happy with a friend, I hope!
We're going through some tough times now at 7 months. She seems to have been teething for about 3 months now and still no teeth are showing. Starting to get me down now and I know my partner is struggling but keeps quiet about it. Some days she's fairly good but more often than not like today it's just constant crying. She wants constant attention during the day and screams as soon as you put her down and shows very little interest in playing with her toys. Early days still I know but it's just so hard.
"Congrats" to the new Dads, but I know I won't be going through all this again for certain. At times I feel like ending it all!
Sorry for the rant.
"Congrats" to the new Dads, but I know I won't be going through all this again for certain. At times I feel like ending it all!
Sorry for the rant.
No_Idea said:
We're going through some tough times now at 7 months. She seems to have been teething for about 3 months now and still no teeth are showing. Starting to get me down now and I know my partner is struggling but keeps quiet about it. Some days she's fairly good but more often than not like today it's just constant crying. She wants constant attention during the day and screams as soon as you put her down and shows very little interest in playing with her toys. Early days still I know but it's just so hard.
"Congrats" to the new Dads, but I know I won't be going through all this again for certain. At times I feel like ending it all!
Sorry for the rant.
download 'the wonder weeks' app, as it lays out to you all the developmental leaps they go through, what tensions there are, what things they are learning and it helps frame why they seem freaked out and clingy for a while. It was crazily accurate for both of ours. It always helps to understand what they are going through as otherwise the thing to focus on is the impact on you... don't get me wrong I also know first hand it's the hardest thing you even try to cope with, but it may just help a bit."Congrats" to the new Dads, but I know I won't be going through all this again for certain. At times I feel like ending it all!
Sorry for the rant.
Blown2CV said:
download 'the wonder weeks' app, as it lays out to you all the developmental leaps they go through, what tensions there are, what things they are learning and it helps frame why they seem freaked out and clingy for a while. It was crazily accurate for both of ours. It always helps to understand what they are going through as otherwise the thing to focus on is the impact on you... don't get me wrong I also know first hand it's the hardest thing you even try to cope with, but it may just help a bit.
^^^ this is good. Wonder weeks tracked our 2 100% in terms of leaps. Nothing you can do, but it made sense of a lot of behaviour.No_Idea said:
We're going through some tough times now at 7 months. She seems to have been teething for about 3 months now and still no teeth are showing. Starting to get me down now and I know my partner is struggling but keeps quiet about it. Some days she's fairly good but more often than not like today it's just constant crying. She wants constant attention during the day and screams as soon as you put her down and shows very little interest in playing with her toys. Early days still I know but it's just so hard.
"Congrats" to the new Dads, but I know I won't be going through all this again for certain. At times I feel like ending it all!
Sorry for the rant.
I said that and ended up having three of them, it's tough don't get me wrong but you'll get there. Comfort yourself in the fact people have been doing this for years, with a lot less smarts than you have. Someone said and it's so true, the days are long but the years are short. Hang in there it does get better trust me."Congrats" to the new Dads, but I know I won't be going through all this again for certain. At times I feel like ending it all!
Sorry for the rant.
Boozy said:
I said that and ended up having three of them, it's tough don't get me wrong but you'll get there. Comfort yourself in the fact people have been doing this for years, with a lot less smarts than you have. Someone said and it's so true, the days are long but the years are short. Hang in there it does get better trust me.
That's reassuring! Thanks 
No_Idea said:
Thanks - I'm sure my partner has the wonder weeks app and keeps track, I'll give it a read. Will try some Anbesol - we usually use Calpol once a day but with little effect!
Anbesol is lidocaine in alcohol. Relief within seconds (adults can use it as well). You can layer with calpol as needed. Normally gives about 4 hrs relief.Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff