A bit council (Vol 3)

[Whistle]

C0ck fest....

[Speed 3]

TorqueVR said:

£100 for "extensive repairs". Priceless!!

I thought that at first but that is the insurance excess methinks.

[MartG]

[stuttgartmetal]

MIND THE GAP


In her front teef.

[schmunk]

bob-lad said:

CharlesdeGaulle said:

Wiccan of Darkness said:

... But my mum does boot sales and can spot a bargain a mile off - as such she has 12 crates of Worcester porcelein in the garage. All from boot sales, all paid 50p or less for each item.

What does she plan to do with these 12 crates of unwanted crockery?

Some sort of coconut shy at the village fete ?

"Greek night"?

[Ari]

Berkshire bred said:

I shared my amusement with him by pointing and laughing as he pulled along side at set of lights.

Classy.

[Dog Star]

MartG said:

Where can I buy these? Mrs DS is having some.

[alorotom]

Dog Star said:

MartG said:

Where can I buy these? Mrs DS is having some.

Is love to know this too for Mrs Alorotom lol

[Speed 3]

Dog Star said:

Where can I buy these? Mrs DS is having some.

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/84280391/toilet-paper-earrings-with-sterling?ref=pla_similar_listing_top-1

[illmonkey]

There is a red mk 3 polo with stupid white turbofan knock off wheels and lowered within an inch of it's life, and across the whole rear glass is 'deadly' in stty handwriting style red letters.

I imagine it is quite if you crash it after cutting the springs to lower it. tt.

[AstonZagato]

Fill you boots.
https://www.etsy.com/market/toilet_roll_earrings

Slightly tempted - wedding anniversary coming up in three days.

[Wildcat45]

Vibrating massage chairs.

Right now I'm having a coffee in a nuceish small shopping centre in a small northern town. (By default council I guess)

I'm watching people checking out four recently installed vibrating armchairs. The sign says £1 for 5 minutes. While I've been sitting here it's made £4. The users aren't the respectable retired folks - of which there are many - but obese, old before their age members of the council community.

Not seen a top gun jacket yet though.

The thing is, i have knackered the ligaments in my knee. I have just been to the doctors. I'm 47, a little tubby and now I have a limp. I also want to try out one of these vibrating chairs because the last time I tried one was in a L405 Range RoverJLR lent me and it was very pleasant.

I'm drawn towards this council chair thing like a moth to a flame. I'm gripping my Discovery key tight and reminding myself that I have a degree, post graduate qualifications, live in a 500k house that I own outright and that I'm currently studying towards a second degree with more professional qualifications.

No, it's no good. The council is strong. I'm going to finish the coffee and limp over to occupy one of those faux leather fun seats and fill my boots - so to speak,

Incidentally these vibrating seats have a sheen on them similar to that seen on the face of a maroon haired past her sell by date German 'actress' who has just participated in a bukkake fest.

[Dog Star]

Wildcat45 said:

small northern town. (By default council I guess)


...............

I have a degree, post graduate qualifications, live in a 500k house that I own outright and that I'm currently studying towards a second degree with more professional qualifications.

I know what I think.

Luv, DS. Lives in a northern town (utter council scum, eh). 1st Prize, Mycofarm writing competition 1982.

[kowalski655]

AstonZagato said:

Fill you boots.
https://www.etsy.com/market/toilet_roll_earrings

Slightly tempted - wedding anniversary coming up in three days.

And divorce in 4?

Sadly my OH doesnt want them...and I value my balls too much to buy them when she doesnt

[Frank7]

Wildcat45 said:

I'm gripping my Discovery key tight and reminding myself that I have a degree, post graduate qualifications, live in a 500k house that I own outright and that I'm currently studying towards a second degree with more professional qualifications.
.

This reminded me of my off the wall old man’s favourite joke.
A judge at the Old Bailey, had just given a career criminal 12 years in prison.
The con called the judge a word that rhymes with hunt.
The judge said, “Mr Smith, when you leave here, you’re going to Wormwood Scrubs prison, when I leave here, I’m going home to my £2 million pound house on the Thames, where my beautiful young wife will have prepared me a steak dinner, and opened a bottle of vintage red wine, after dinner we’ll make love, now, you tell me, who’s the word that rhymes with hunt?”

[Ari]

Wildcat45 said:

I'm gripping my Discovery key tight and reminding myself that I have a degree, post graduate qualifications, live in a 500k house that I own outright and that I'm currently studying towards a second degree with more professional qualifications.

Well, I think that's the most PH thing I'm likely to read on here today (apart from some random bloke telling a women he doesn't know that she's boring in bed...)

[Alucidnation]

http://www.dailyecho.co.uk/news/16182619.Couple_ca...

[Digga]

Alucidnation said:

http://www.dailyecho.co.uk/news/16182619.Couple_ca...

Shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted = public sector

Banging in a library = well... not totally sure it's council. Would 'council be in a library in the first place?

[Wildcat45]

Dog Star said:

I know what I think.

Luv, DS. Lives in a northern town (utter council scum, eh). 1st Prize, Mycofarm writing competition 1982.

I have no idea what that means but you are probably right. Probably.

To update you all. I bottled out of using the vibrating chairs. But I did limp to Greggs and I bought a packet of their sausage rolls. I then got the bus home. I took a taxi to the doctor.

I had three sausage rolls for lunch eating them with Aldi own brand HP sauce.

I survived. I am now in my safe place and regret the fact that where I live only has an artisan bakery and no Greggs and therefore no steak bake for "me tea"

Edited by Wildcat45 on Wednesday 25th April 13:34

[Alucidnation]

Digga said:

Alucidnation said:

http://www.dailyecho.co.uk/news/16182619.Couple_ca...

Banging in a library = well... not totally sure it's council. Would 'council be in a library in the first place?

Probably not but most libraries are Council owned.