Men, Public toilets & loosing all control
Discussion
J4CKO said:
Saw a post in Viz about wiping,
"How come dogs get a Rolls Royce arse, drop one and it crimps off perfectly, no need to wipe, where we get something that gets all clagged up and requires loads of wiping ?"
Good point I thought.
Because dogs lick their own ahole clean before they give you a good morning kiss "How come dogs get a Rolls Royce arse, drop one and it crimps off perfectly, no need to wipe, where we get something that gets all clagged up and requires loads of wiping ?"
Good point I thought.
J4CKO said:
Saw a post in Viz about wiping,
"How come dogs get a Rolls Royce arse, drop one and it crimps off perfectly, no need to wipe, where we get something that gets all clagged up and requires loads of wiping ?"
Good point I thought.
Our Lab has a habit of eating long grass when out for a walk. We try to stop him, but occasionally he'll eat enough that his stomach doesn't properly digest, and it comes out all knotted and rope like. Trouble is he can't always push it all out, so you have to give a helping hand by pulling it out for him, and hoping nothing else follows through behind "How come dogs get a Rolls Royce arse, drop one and it crimps off perfectly, no need to wipe, where we get something that gets all clagged up and requires loads of wiping ?"
Good point I thought.
Used to work in a quite upmarket nightclub for the town where im from as a potwasher and glass collector when needed, enjoyed it as being the only potwasher willing to do some of the busier stuff meant you could get away with murder and the place had a steady stream of people with which to either have a laugh at the expense of or actually get to know and enjoy the company of.
One bank holiday the toilets had the usual massive queue outside the ladies and one of the female glass collectors had begged us to help her out as it was a hell hole in there, toilet paper everywhere, piss covered floors the ussual vile female toilet behavior. We had a female bouncer come with us to make it all legit as it was a couple of lads and me helping clean up the mess, i started by picking up all the glasses by this massive queue to the ladies and headed back upstairs, the glass was a watery brown with quite a bit of material in. Turns out some lass, in the queue had took a st in the glass, this wasn't a pint glass, it was a small cocktail glass thing. Never ever ever helped clean anywhere near the ladies after that.
Oh one last one which is the honest truth. The building had a septic tank in the basement, it started overflowing on another heavy bank holiday, called in the bloke to come rod it and get it all sorted (his money for overtime on a bank holiday was insane) he pulled out umpteen pairs of shoes and handbags from the tank blocking it all up. Women had gone out and flushed their bags and shoes down the toilet.
No one will ever tell me that women when pissed up are more cleanly than guys, ever, not after that.
One bank holiday the toilets had the usual massive queue outside the ladies and one of the female glass collectors had begged us to help her out as it was a hell hole in there, toilet paper everywhere, piss covered floors the ussual vile female toilet behavior. We had a female bouncer come with us to make it all legit as it was a couple of lads and me helping clean up the mess, i started by picking up all the glasses by this massive queue to the ladies and headed back upstairs, the glass was a watery brown with quite a bit of material in. Turns out some lass, in the queue had took a st in the glass, this wasn't a pint glass, it was a small cocktail glass thing. Never ever ever helped clean anywhere near the ladies after that.
Oh one last one which is the honest truth. The building had a septic tank in the basement, it started overflowing on another heavy bank holiday, called in the bloke to come rod it and get it all sorted (his money for overtime on a bank holiday was insane) he pulled out umpteen pairs of shoes and handbags from the tank blocking it all up. Women had gone out and flushed their bags and shoes down the toilet.
No one will ever tell me that women when pissed up are more cleanly than guys, ever, not after that.
OpulentBob said:
Aah, the "Lucky Eddie". Where you find the paper so clean, you fold it up and put it in your pocket for blowing your nose on later.
J4CKO said:
Saw a post in Viz about wiping,
"How come dogs get a Rolls Royce arse, drop one and it crimps off perfectly, no need to wipe, where we get something that gets all clagged up and requires loads of wiping ?"
Good point I thought.
Because we usually don't adopt the squatting posture - as we are designed to. If we did, no paper required. "How come dogs get a Rolls Royce arse, drop one and it crimps off perfectly, no need to wipe, where we get something that gets all clagged up and requires loads of wiping ?"
Good point I thought.
J4CKO said:
Saw a post in Viz about wiping,
"How come dogs get a Rolls Royce arse, drop one and it crimps off perfectly, no need to wipe, where we get something that gets all clagged up and requires loads of wiping ?"
Good point I thought.
Also made me consider that there are several traits from the animal kingdom that us humans would really love. Imagine being able to fly! Or to swim really well! Or keep warm in the depths of winter!"How come dogs get a Rolls Royce arse, drop one and it crimps off perfectly, no need to wipe, where we get something that gets all clagged up and requires loads of wiping ?"
Good point I thought.
But then I looked at my cat and am glad that we have evolved passed having to lick our own aholes clean after every st.
There was a thread a few years ago, where somebody was having an issue with inconsiderate parking. Another ph'er offered to squat over the windscreen and empty his bowels. He mentioned that it would make an appropriate mess, as he had a few 'medical issues'.
Also mentioned that he'd need a coffee and a cigarette to get things ticking over.
This thread reminds me of that magnanimous (in the sense of 'very generous....especially toward.....someone less powerful than oneself), selfless gesture. Ph at its nutty best.
Also mentioned that he'd need a coffee and a cigarette to get things ticking over.
This thread reminds me of that magnanimous (in the sense of 'very generous....especially toward.....someone less powerful than oneself), selfless gesture. Ph at its nutty best.
paul789 said:
There was a thread a few years ago, where somebody was having an issue with inconsiderate parking. Another ph'er offered to squat over the windscreen and empty his bowels. He mentioned that it would make an appropriate mess, as he had a few 'medical issues'.
Also mentioned that he'd need a coffee and a cigarette to get things ticking over.
This thread reminds me of that magnanimous (in the sense of 'very generous....especially toward.....someone less powerful than oneself), selfless gesture. Ph at its nutty best.
Could be worse, he could've offered to do the old Chicago Sunroof.Also mentioned that he'd need a coffee and a cigarette to get things ticking over.
This thread reminds me of that magnanimous (in the sense of 'very generous....especially toward.....someone less powerful than oneself), selfless gesture. Ph at its nutty best.
I was told by one of the guys who worked on the reception in Barlinnie Prison that a common problem they had was with winos who didn't wipe their arses properly after a st. The remaining st dried on to their arse hairs leaving them unable to have another dump.
Some poor bd had to take a pair of scissors to the matted mess to "clear the way", as it were.
Some poor bd had to take a pair of scissors to the matted mess to "clear the way", as it were.
matchmaker said:
I was told by one of the guys who worked on the reception in Barlinnie Prison that a common problem they had was with winos who didn't wipe their arses properly after a st. The remaining st dried on to their arse hairs leaving them unable to have another dump.
Some poor bd had to take a pair of scissors to the matted mess to "clear the way", as it were.
That is grim.Some poor bd had to take a pair of scissors to the matted mess to "clear the way", as it were.
matchmaker said:
I was told by one of the guys who worked on the reception in Barlinnie Prison that a common problem they had was with winos who didn't wipe their arses properly after a st. The remaining st dried on to their arse hairs leaving them unable to have another dump.
Some poor bd had to take a pair of scissors to the matted mess to "clear the way", as it were.
What's wrong with a hose?Some poor bd had to take a pair of scissors to the matted mess to "clear the way", as it were.
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