Men, Public toilets & loosing all control
Discussion
Further proof that it isn't just men with weird pooping habits
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-41327420
Or maybe she just idolises Paula Radcliffe...
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-41327420
Or maybe she just idolises Paula Radcliffe...
I had a similar (although nowhere near as bad; a one out of ten compared to yours) experience with my wife but roles reversed. We met when she started renting a neighbouring flat so we had got to know each other a bit through passing in the hallway. We then agreed to go out into town with a friend or two each and all went well so we went for a date to a pub in Sheffield (20 mins drive away) followed by a film at the nearby cinema.
All went well until we were walking back to the car. She said "I've got a bit of belly ache. Oh it's really bad, I need the toilet. I really need the toilet, we're going to have to go back to the cinema." We were half way across the car park when she followed through a bit and did the duck walk back into the cinema and made a beeline for the nearest khazi. Ten minutes later she emerged from said latrine having cleaned up and ditched her knickers which apparently were nice ones she'd put on for the date. She was mortified but I found it all quite amusing and we've now been married eight glorious turd-free years.
All went well until we were walking back to the car. She said "I've got a bit of belly ache. Oh it's really bad, I need the toilet. I really need the toilet, we're going to have to go back to the cinema." We were half way across the car park when she followed through a bit and did the duck walk back into the cinema and made a beeline for the nearest khazi. Ten minutes later she emerged from said latrine having cleaned up and ditched her knickers which apparently were nice ones she'd put on for the date. She was mortified but I found it all quite amusing and we've now been married eight glorious turd-free years.
Generally where I work the toilets are fine. However, there are a select few people who decide that a sign saying "BLOCKED, DO NOT USE" means crack on and go about your business. One time this had happened but there was no sign and the lid was closed. This was the first vacant cubicle in 3 sets of toilets and I was desperate for a s
t so I hurried into the cubicle, locked the door and lifted the lid to be met with the most abhorrent of sights. A cacophony of arse and knob spraying mayhem, all contained in one soup like liquid taking up the entire bowl. I very nearly added vomit into the mix but I managed to escape before that happened.
By far the worst I've come across though are those on Military bases. I remember one near the bar at RAF Coningsby where the previous occupant had clearly been inspired by the Typhoon's weaponry and dropped an equally impressive payload in the bog. I st you not (badum tiss) it looked like a fking pile of logs ready to go in a wood burning stove. Vile.
t so I hurried into the cubicle, locked the door and lifted the lid to be met with the most abhorrent of sights. A cacophony of arse and knob spraying mayhem, all contained in one soup like liquid taking up the entire bowl. I very nearly added vomit into the mix but I managed to escape before that happened. By far the worst I've come across though are those on Military bases. I remember one near the bar at RAF Coningsby where the previous occupant had clearly been inspired by the Typhoon's weaponry and dropped an equally impressive payload in the bog. I s
t you not (badum tiss) it looked like a fking pile of logs ready to go in a wood burning stove. Vile. rtz62 said:
Some months ago we called in at a 'location withheld' McDonalds on the edge of the A38 in Derbyshire. Or Derbyste as my 10yr old son renamed it
Going into the bogs after the kids had eaten, he came back out looking like he was going to puke
"Dad, it's disgusting in there, I'm going to throw up"
I went to look and there was pi55 and 5h1t everywhere
Checked the chart on the back of the door and it had been cleaned 1/2 previously.
The only people I'd seen go in were a group of Eastern Europeans complete with safety Tavares that work at a factory close by
Apparantly, on complaining to the manager, it was a regular thing, they go in, take a dump and then ps off, dirty bds.
Sounds like the South Normanton one, opposite McArthur Glen outlet.te as my 10yr old son renamed itGoing into the bogs after the kids had eaten, he came back out looking like he was going to puke
"Dad, it's disgusting in there, I'm going to throw up"
I went to look and there was pi55 and 5h1t everywhere
Checked the chart on the back of the door and it had been cleaned 1/2 previously.
The only people I'd seen go in were a group of
Eastern Europeans complete with safety Tavares that work at a factory close byApparantly, on complaining to the manager, it was a regular thing, they go in, take a dump and then p
s off, dirty bds.This Family Guy scene, reminds me of the last time i used the gents in my local Sainsburys
Peter: Hey aren't you that chick from the bathroom door?
Brian: Come on Peter, she doesn't want to talk about work
Peter: What's it like in there?
Bathroom Woman Logo: I assume it's how it's like in the men's room
Peter: Oh there's a long trough with a big poo in it?
Peter: Hey aren't you that chick from the bathroom door?
Brian: Come on Peter, she doesn't want to talk about work
Peter: What's it like in there?
Bathroom Woman Logo: I assume it's how it's like in the men's room
Peter: Oh there's a long trough with a big poo in it?
cjs racing. said:
rtz62 said:
Some months ago we called in at a 'location withheld' McDonalds on the edge of the A38 in Derbyshire. Or Derbyste as my 10yr old son renamed it
Going into the bogs after the kids had eaten, he came back out looking like he was going to puke
"Dad, it's disgusting in there, I'm going to throw up"
I went to look and there was pi55 and 5h1t everywhere
Checked the chart on the back of the door and it had been cleaned 1/2 previously.
The only people I'd seen go in were a group of Eastern Europeans complete with safety Tavares that work at a factory close by
Apparantly, on complaining to the manager, it was a regular thing, they go in, take a dump and then ps off, dirty bds.
Sounds like the South Normanton one, opposite McArthur Glen outlet.te as my 10yr old son renamed itGoing into the bogs after the kids had eaten, he came back out looking like he was going to puke
"Dad, it's disgusting in there, I'm going to throw up"
I went to look and there was pi55 and 5h1t everywhere
Checked the chart on the back of the door and it had been cleaned 1/2 previously.
The only people I'd seen go in were a group of
Eastern Europeans complete with safety Tavares that work at a factory close byApparantly, on complaining to the manager, it was a regular thing, they go in, take a dump and then p
s off, dirty bds.
Just remembered another one, at my own expense this time. I'd had a strong coffee on the way to work so not long after I arrived (around about 7am) the need to st struck me. This was a Monday morning and the toilets had had their refurb finished on Friday; I was probably the first person to use this lovely shiny new bathroom! Anyway, I sat down and had a fairly uneventful poo...until I actually looked at the bog roll dispenser. It suddenly dawned on me that the cleaners wouldn't have been in yet, so I was faced with a lovely and new, but also very much empty dispenser...
First thing I did was check the coast was clear and shuffle awkwardly (knob still out) into the other cubicle to see if maybe one of the workmen had put some loo roll in. No dice.
So that was it, I had to go to another bathroom. Up came the pants and the trousers and I clenched like never before in an effort to keep any mess firmly between the cheeks. Fortunately nobody saw me shuffling awkwardly upstairs with my arse cheeks clenched together like a vice, and even more fortunately the aforementioned clenching meant I was left with clean pants!
I dread to think what could have happened though...
t struck me. This was a Monday morning and the toilets had had their refurb finished on Friday; I was probably the first person to use this lovely shiny new bathroom! Anyway, I sat down and had a fairly uneventful poo...until I actually looked at the bog roll dispenser. It suddenly dawned on me that the cleaners wouldn't have been in yet, so I was faced with a lovely and new, but also very much empty dispenser...First thing I did was check the coast was clear and shuffle awkwardly (knob still out) into the other cubicle to see if maybe one of the workmen had put some loo roll in. No dice.
So that was it, I had to go to another bathroom. Up came the pants and the trousers and I clenched like never before in an effort to keep any mess firmly between the cheeks. Fortunately nobody saw me shuffling awkwardly upstairs with my arse cheeks clenched together like a vice, and even more fortunately the aforementioned clenching meant I was left with clean pants!
I dread to think what could have happened though...
Your Dad said:
cjs racing. said:
rtz62 said:
Some months ago we called in at a 'location withheld' McDonalds on the edge of the A38 in Derbyshire. Or Derbyste as my 10yr old son renamed it
Going into the bogs after the kids had eaten, he came back out looking like he was going to puke
"Dad, it's disgusting in there, I'm going to throw up"
I went to look and there was pi55 and 5h1t everywhere
Checked the chart on the back of the door and it had been cleaned 1/2 previously.
The only people I'd seen go in were a group of Eastern Europeans complete with safety Tavares that work at a factory close by
Apparantly, on complaining to the manager, it was a regular thing, they go in, take a dump and then ps off, dirty bds.
Sounds like the South Normanton one, opposite McArthur Glen outlet.te as my 10yr old son renamed itGoing into the bogs after the kids had eaten, he came back out looking like he was going to puke
"Dad, it's disgusting in there, I'm going to throw up"
I went to look and there was pi55 and 5h1t everywhere
Checked the chart on the back of the door and it had been cleaned 1/2 previously.
The only people I'd seen go in were a group of
Eastern Europeans complete with safety Tavares that work at a factory close byApparantly, on complaining to the manager, it was a regular thing, they go in, take a dump and then p
s off, dirty bds.Well thankfully I got away with brown murder today!
Having a bout of the beeriods, cooling off in the sea I'm swimming away happily, still not trusting farts...
I'm there and thinking, it's the sea, what's the worst that can happen....well it does and I find what can only be described as a churrro floating up my back as I pull my shorts away as quickly as I can. To make it worse the GF is now swimming toward me and the aforementioned floating churro, without the impact of the bowl it was easily the length of my forearm!
I decide to swim in the opposite direction to the current and a little further out, hoping the sea washes the evidence away!
With some luck the plan actually works, she comes to me without noticing the turd and all' swell with the world, the fish likely even got a feed!
Having a bout of the beeriods, cooling off in the sea I'm swimming away happily, still not trusting farts...
I'm there and thinking, it's the sea, what's the worst that can happen....well it does and I find what can only be described as a churrro floating up my back as I pull my shorts away as quickly as I can. To make it worse the GF is now swimming toward me and the aforementioned floating churro, without the impact of the bowl it was easily the length of my forearm!
I decide to swim in the opposite direction to the current and a little further out, hoping the sea washes the evidence away!
With some luck the plan actually works, she comes to me without noticing the turd and all' swell with the world, the fish likely even got a feed!
paul789 said:
Rawwr said:
Amazingly, I just parked a turd the size of a human forearm and it flushed on the first yank. I only needed two sheets of paper, too.
There aren't many things better in life. Feels like a victory; topped only by 'Straight through, clean wipe'.Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff