Screaming kids
Discussion
Half rant, half desperate need of advice.
My son is 5 and my daughter 3. I never expected parenthood to be easy and I'd like to think there's been times I've thouroughly enjoyed and grown as a person from being around my children and watching them grow. Right now though and for the past few weeks or months I've slowly come to the stage where I can almost not bare to be around them. The reason for this is quite simply the insane levels of noise they produce. My daughter is the worst, her screams are to me like nails down a blackboard, they come for relatively little reason. Could be excitement, sorrow, playfull fighting with her brother, honestly anything. No meal time is safe from the most horrendous levels of noise and no car journey free from ear penetrating shouts and screams.
Their behaviour is up and down but I'd say they are no more badly behaved than any other brother and sister of close age. They are very playfull and happy which I want to encourage and they're loveable and well behaved most of the time. But the noise is something I simply can't control. In the past we have dealt with issues with the standard punishments. Naughty steps. Confiscation of toys. Time out etc etc. but when I try and curb the noise levels it falls on completely deaf ears (excuse the pun).
It's really starting to effect my enjoyment of being at home which isnt nice for anyone. It doesn't help that there's no real down time. We don't have family to babysit to get some down time so unless Im in work it's hands on parenting. I'm the first to admit I'm not the best at parenting anyway so when things are strained it feels like trudging through a painful and long day. I don't expect silence and I enjoy interacting and playing, reading, films, bike rides, walks. To be honest I love most of it. But the screaming, screeching, violently loud outbursts are becoming unbearable. I think our neighbours must be saints as I'd frankly have moved house long ago,
I suppose I'm asking, has anyone managed to stop a 3 year old screaming. Or is that a ridiculous question.
My son is 5 and my daughter 3. I never expected parenthood to be easy and I'd like to think there's been times I've thouroughly enjoyed and grown as a person from being around my children and watching them grow. Right now though and for the past few weeks or months I've slowly come to the stage where I can almost not bare to be around them. The reason for this is quite simply the insane levels of noise they produce. My daughter is the worst, her screams are to me like nails down a blackboard, they come for relatively little reason. Could be excitement, sorrow, playfull fighting with her brother, honestly anything. No meal time is safe from the most horrendous levels of noise and no car journey free from ear penetrating shouts and screams.
Their behaviour is up and down but I'd say they are no more badly behaved than any other brother and sister of close age. They are very playfull and happy which I want to encourage and they're loveable and well behaved most of the time. But the noise is something I simply can't control. In the past we have dealt with issues with the standard punishments. Naughty steps. Confiscation of toys. Time out etc etc. but when I try and curb the noise levels it falls on completely deaf ears (excuse the pun).
It's really starting to effect my enjoyment of being at home which isnt nice for anyone. It doesn't help that there's no real down time. We don't have family to babysit to get some down time so unless Im in work it's hands on parenting. I'm the first to admit I'm not the best at parenting anyway so when things are strained it feels like trudging through a painful and long day. I don't expect silence and I enjoy interacting and playing, reading, films, bike rides, walks. To be honest I love most of it. But the screaming, screeching, violently loud outbursts are becoming unbearable. I think our neighbours must be saints as I'd frankly have moved house long ago,
I suppose I'm asking, has anyone managed to stop a 3 year old screaming. Or is that a ridiculous question.
My youngest is a screamer, full on. I remember taking her to a supermarket as a toddler and had passers by wincing at the noise.
She's 10 and still screams, louder now as she's bigger.
It may be an issue caused by sensory processing problems or emotional development delays, or it may just be one of those things. Don't assume she'll grow out of it though. It looks like both of mine are mildly autistic with other developmental problems (I am an adopter).
Ear plugs might help. For mine I've learnt a few techniques which assist in helping the kids develop better self regulation, but it's by no means a quick fix.
She's 10 and still screams, louder now as she's bigger.
It may be an issue caused by sensory processing problems or emotional development delays, or it may just be one of those things. Don't assume she'll grow out of it though. It looks like both of mine are mildly autistic with other developmental problems (I am an adopter).
Ear plugs might help. For mine I've learnt a few techniques which assist in helping the kids develop better self regulation, but it's by no means a quick fix.
Edited by oldbanger on Tuesday 19th September 19:24
It is something that will stop but I'm afraid it only gets replaced with something else!
On a serious note do you find random or combined noises a problem? I cannot be in the house when the TV is on, the tumble drier and then someone starts hoovering or the kids turn the music up. It's sensory overload for me, same with strong artificial smells.
One thing I learned through working with kids with SEN is interacting with them when they display unwanted behaviour can help. So when they start screaming try sitting with them and doing something. Not something that rewards the behaviour but something that changes it for that moment.
My daughter went through several very clearly defined stages of behaviour. She turned out ok and I survived... just.
On a serious note do you find random or combined noises a problem? I cannot be in the house when the TV is on, the tumble drier and then someone starts hoovering or the kids turn the music up. It's sensory overload for me, same with strong artificial smells.
One thing I learned through working with kids with SEN is interacting with them when they display unwanted behaviour can help. So when they start screaming try sitting with them and doing something. Not something that rewards the behaviour but something that changes it for that moment.
My daughter went through several very clearly defined stages of behaviour. She turned out ok and I survived... just.
I love the sound of children screaming and having fun.
I chase my toddler and older ones around all the time, and jump out from behind doors to scare them causing full on ear splitters from one or more at once.
If kids cant be kids at home.. where can they be ?
FYI, i have a very noisy household.. and i love it
I chase my toddler and older ones around all the time, and jump out from behind doors to scare them causing full on ear splitters from one or more at once.
If kids cant be kids at home.. where can they be ?
FYI, i have a very noisy household.. and i love it
SystemParanoia said:
I love the sound of children screaming and having fun.
I chase my toddler and older ones around all the time, and jump out from behind doors to scare them causing full on ear splitters from one or more at once.
If kids cant be kids at home.. where can they be ?
FYI, i have a very noisy household.. and i love it
Context may be important. My girl screams like she's being murdered whereas the OP's kid may be screaming with excitement. I chase my toddler and older ones around all the time, and jump out from behind doors to scare them causing full on ear splitters from one or more at once.
If kids cant be kids at home.. where can they be ?
FYI, i have a very noisy household.. and i love it
My family are very loud, my parents and nieces all shout from opposite ends of the house, talk over each other and slam doors. If you are noise sensitive it soon becomes quite draining.
Thanks for the replies. It does seem to be just me who it effects. My wife doesn't like the screaming but it doesn't seem to wear her down. I've never really noticed other children being so loud, I presume mine are louder than most because I've never heard of anyone else been driven to despair from the sound of their kids. I find it hard to believe other families are as loud as mine because I can literally often hear my daughter when I pull onto the drive. What really frustrates me is the lack of control I have over it. I can take her to one side and explain that screaming in the house is unacceptable, five minutes later she will be screaming over something again. It's not like this with anything else.
Or maybe it is just me. I'm having a hearing test as part of my medical with work in a few weeks so will mention it.
Or maybe it is just me. I'm having a hearing test as part of my medical with work in a few weeks so will mention it.
I blame the parents.
In seriousness you need to learn what the screams mean. There is enjoyment in hearing a kid scream with excitement based on a trigger or event. Perhaps something new. This is a good thing and is something you should remember as significant.
If the screams are of another nature through pain, annoyance or other then you need to be able to identify that.
It's parenting 101, i don't get the issue?
In seriousness you need to learn what the screams mean. There is enjoyment in hearing a kid scream with excitement based on a trigger or event. Perhaps something new. This is a good thing and is something you should remember as significant.
If the screams are of another nature through pain, annoyance or other then you need to be able to identify that.
It's parenting 101, i don't get the issue?
wormus said:
They're little b
ds at that age, but they do get better. Now mine are teenagers they don't speak and want nothing to do with me. Make the most of it whilst they still need you
This man speaks the truth - every stage has it's good and bad, but the stages change quickly so make the most of each and every one.ds at that age, but they do get better. Now mine are teenagers they don't speak and want nothing to do with me. Make the most of it whilst they still need youI remember I couldn't walk through the door without being totally mobbed... and being annoyed one day that the youngest had jammy hands and I was wearing a suit... I laugh now that I remember making a work call from the shed in the garden in the pouring rain as it was the only quiet place I could find where I wouldn't be disturbed.
Nowadays I'm lucky if they're even in - and if they are they are in their rooms / headphones on - and only return my greeting because I instruct them to!
Even the puppy-turned-dog doesn't get up to say hello when I walk through the door - just sort of opens one eye from whereever she's been sleeping and swishes her tail in a pathetically half-hearted, looking-forward-to-you-feeding-me-later, token gesture kind of way...
I'll repeat - every stage has it's good and bad, but the stages change quickly so make the most of each and every one.
OP you are not alone my friend and brother in ear defenders.
We have a 7 year old and a pair of 3.5 yo twins. Their favorite thing at the moment is screaming. Just a phase in sure but they are exactly the same the little scroats communicate in an extremely irritating high pitch scream and it completely does my head in as well.
I'm a lover of peace and quiet and shockingly it would appear the kids aren't.
I've said in these pages before there's a lot of pressure on us dads to be superdad and be in a constant state of joy and wonderment with the kids but in reality its not like that. 10% of joy 90% graft/irritation max. Coming home after a demanding day at work to a barrage of noise is just frankly awful. Hoping things improve before they all enter iPad and grunting stage at which point we will probably miss the noise!
We have a 7 year old and a pair of 3.5 yo twins. Their favorite thing at the moment is screaming. Just a phase in sure but they are exactly the same the little scroats communicate in an extremely irritating high pitch scream and it completely does my head in as well.
I'm a lover of peace and quiet and shockingly it would appear the kids aren't.
I've said in these pages before there's a lot of pressure on us dads to be superdad and be in a constant state of joy and wonderment with the kids but in reality its not like that. 10% of joy 90% graft/irritation max. Coming home after a demanding day at work to a barrage of noise is just frankly awful. Hoping things improve before they all enter iPad and grunting stage at which point we will probably miss the noise!
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