Travelling vs long term relationship

Travelling vs long term relationship

Author
Discussion

MJK 24

5,648 posts

235 months

Monday 23rd October 2017
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Start off in NZ.

Small country with a small, friendly population. Nothing to be overwhelmed about there.

3 months should let you see a lot of it and plan your next destination.

AndrewCrown

2,280 posts

113 months

Tuesday 24th October 2017
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Mr NG

I do understand how you are feeling about the girl... break ups are hard on both sides... but stick to the plan...

If you do bold things... bold things happen to you.. Take that little antique atlas of yours... close your eyes.. flick the pages and chose a random spot... and go there.

All the chaps on here are right... just go for it.. This is a right of passage....

Keep us posted..

ChocolateFrog

24,862 posts

172 months

Tuesday 24th October 2017
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Go.

There will be more women, you won't get more time.

Ructions

4,705 posts

120 months

Tuesday 24th October 2017
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ChocolateFrog said:
Go.

There will be more women, you won't get more time.
X100

jamoor

14,506 posts

214 months

Tuesday 24th October 2017
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Just go.
It's an investment in yourself that no-one can take away.

Your gf may break up with you after 18 months, she's already left once.

andy-xr

13,204 posts

203 months

Tuesday 24th October 2017
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It sounds like you like the idea of going away and travelling, but the reality of it isnt going to be the same.

I would wait for a number of things.

I'd wait for more of a conclusion to the g/f thing, you've put 5 years into that relationship and she cant exactly up sticks and go with you in a final year.

I think you probably need to figure out if there's a future there, or if she's a pick me up for you feeling down. While many parts of my marriage can be like that, that's not the reason I'm with my wife.

When your (ex) g/f graduates she'll be hit with a 'wtf do I do now' and having a plan already in place would make that a bit easier to deal with, mostly for her but if you're still together you'll also need to make some life choices if you're planning any kind of future together. Where you'll go, what you'll do for work, how you're going to live and that whole post Uni life of finding what you want to do and where you want to do it.

I'd also wait for more security on the finances, because you'll blow through your 10k and when it's time to come back, you'll be scratching around for 3 months rent.

In the meantime, find another job. stick your 3 months notice in or walk earlier if you want. The job's the thing stopping you doing a lot of other stuff, like socialising and having a relationship. Find a new job then have another look at things.

Robertj21a

16,475 posts

104 months

Tuesday 24th October 2017
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As just about everyone else has said, just go. If you don't you'll end up in all the mortgage/marriage/kids before you know it - and then you'll feel tied down for another 20+ years. Life is actually very short so you need to make the most of it. I'd agree with NZ or Oz as a good place to start.

ClaphamGT3

11,269 posts

242 months

Tuesday 24th October 2017
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Do it - if the worst happens and you decide it was a big mistake, no where in the world is more than 48 hours and £1k in airline tickets away from the UK

carinatauk

1,408 posts

251 months

Tuesday 24th October 2017
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JFDI

I did and I had so many life experiences. Australia / USA are great but there is a whole world out there that is more enjoyable and culturally enlightening. It will set you up for your career later in life.

You will meet loads of people, some will become friends, the rest you will forget. I travelled with people for short periods, and met them later on the journey. You will never be lonely, unless your a sad tt. If your worried about female company, don't be, there are loads wanting to experience the same [not even hippies].

Once you step over that hurdle, ie flight booking, and getting there. You will not look back, seriously. The anxiety and excitement of doing it is tingly.

I understand the situation with the girlfriend but she should be encouraging you not stopping you. I met loads of "couples" on my journeys, most have a terrible relationship time while travelling [save it for later in life], only one made it and they only got married this year after 10 years together.

Accommodation, make it cheap. You will meet more of your own age group then. Australia / NZ are expensive compared to most countries [ie Asia]. It is cheaper to book a flexible Around the World ticket. Don't over analyse / plan the trip else you become over fixated.

Enjoy life, you are only here once and before you know it you will have kids and debt. Believe me then you will wish you were back travelling.




ColinM50

2,630 posts

174 months

Tuesday 24th October 2017
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Your GF has proven that if she doesn't get her own way she'll off you, so go now. Start small. Forget the pack ity in in and off to Aus/NZ or Thailand, book a late minute week or two in say Ibiza or similar and see how you enjoy being on your own whilst knowing you'll be coming home on a set day.

At 67 I wish I'd done it but I was in your situation in my early 20's and stayed with the then GF "under threat" (been married now 42 years) and really regret not travelling. I was dead lucky work wise and travelled the world at someone else's expense, but not everyone gets that option.

Go. Now

worsy

5,777 posts

174 months

Tuesday 24th October 2017
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You've been with this girl for 5 years and all you have posted suggests you have been with her for 5 mins. If that is the case I'd go. (but perhaps skip the advice to shag everything when in Thailand biggrin)

However, if you have held back posting your genuine thoughts.........

fossilfuelled

293 posts

106 months

Tuesday 24th October 2017
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OP, I'm 28 and have dropped everything three times in my 20s to sod off to travel to wherever the wind took me. Most recently I decided to invite a very close friend along. She is now my wife. I can safely say it's the best thing you'll do and for some people, the very point of life.

If your gf doesn't seem enamoured by the idea of travelling, then I'm sorry, ultimately she's probably not the one. My wife handed in her notice at a big bank the day I suggested the idea, and gave up the kind of money most people in their 20s simply can't - just to go on a month long adventure. She hasn't returned to the world of finance, instead travelling inspired her to follow her dreams and now she's doing what she loves.

It's true - People do "find themselves" when they leave their comfort zone. Maybe you'll get on that flight and realise what really matters to you and come back home in 3, 6 or 9 months with a clear plan and goal for your life. Maybe you won't come back. Maybe you'll catch the bug and structure your life around less work and more travel.

Just do it! You've nothing to lose. It's only money and look - you managed to earn it before. You'll be able to earn it again just fine after you've spent it all!


joshleb

1,544 posts

143 months

Tuesday 24th October 2017
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Mate of mine went on his own just after uni, came back a completely different guy in terms of confidence and banter.

I'm only 25 now and regret not going a few years ago, me and the missus are planning on working for another couple of years and then going away for 6 months!

Smitters

3,995 posts

156 months

Tuesday 24th October 2017
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Go, and go to lots of other places that Australia - it's expensive and miles from anywhere else. You could spend a month in South America for what it costs for a week in Oz.

IMHO, Oz would be a long holiday.

Don't be daunted by language barriers either. Learn as you go. I didn't have a lick of Spanish other than what I'd frantically read on the plane when landing in Mexico and could get by fine by the time I left Chile two months later. Except in Brazil. A week of remembering it was Portuguese and not Spanish that was required was tricky!

ETA - why Brazil seemed like a good idea... https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=ipanema+beach&am...

sc0tt

18,032 posts

200 months

Tuesday 24th October 2017
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Have you gone yet?

Ari

19,328 posts

214 months

Tuesday 24th October 2017
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Fermit The Krog and Sexy Sarah said:
But ask yourself, is she willing to leave the life she knows, work, friends, lifestyle, et all, to join you, to allow YOU to fulfill your wish.

Thought not. It's on her terms. There's your answer.
I love Pistonheads! rofl

sc0tt

18,032 posts

200 months

Tuesday 24th October 2017
quotequote all
Ari said:
Fermit The Krog and Sexy Sarah said:
But ask yourself, is she willing to leave the life she knows, work, friends, lifestyle, et all, to join you, to allow YOU to fulfill your wish.

Thought not. It's on her terms. There's your answer.
I love Pistonheads! rofl
roflrofl

Fermit The Krog and Sexy Sarah

12,787 posts

99 months

Tuesday 24th October 2017
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Oi you two, it's true rofl

LeoZwalf

2,802 posts

229 months

Tuesday 24th October 2017
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Smitters said:
ETA - why Brazil seemed like a good idea... https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=ipanema+beach&am...
Zoinks! yikes

to the OP: go!!

carreauchompeur

17,830 posts

203 months

Tuesday 24th October 2017
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Go. This isn't a flippant comment, it`s evidence based fact.

If she is the one she will move heaven and earth to be with you, hatching plans to come out straight after finals, etc. I suspect she is not. If you wait for her, you won¨t do it. Guaranteed.

I went into a relationship straight after Uni, and very quickly entered into the boring 2 weeks in Greece, plodding along life. We both could have been more adventurous, but it didn't happen. Then in 2010 a lightbulb went off in my head and I realised that I could and should travel often, whether or not I was on my Tod. Every year from then I have taken increasingly long winter breaks, and it keeps me sane.

Taking a career break in 2015 and spending 18 months doing it was absolutely the best thing I have ever done... www.loquitohermoso.com