Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 9)

[Dilligaf10]

sc0tt said:

??

Beep repaired

[Robster]

Paddy walks in a bar. "Hi Pad" said his mates. "You put on a great show with your wife last night. You left the light on in your bedroom and we could see everything going on projected on the curtains!"

"Sorry lads" said Paddy. "The joke's on you, I wasn't home last night!"

[Tony 1234]

Robster said:

Paddy walks in a bar. "Hi Pad" said his mates. "You put on a great show with your wife last night. You left the light on in your bedroom and we could see everything going on projected on the curtains!"

"Sorry lads" said Paddy. "The joke's on you, I wasn't home last night!"

[mattyn1]

MartG said:

My car horn broke yesterday and a passing scout fixed it.
I said I was amazed he knew how..
He said "Well it's all in our Motto..."

[ThunderSpook]

MartG said:

My car horn broke yesterday and a passing scout fixed it.
I said I was amazed he knew how..
He said "Well it's all in our Motto..."

Be prepared ???

[anonymous-user]

ThunderSpook said:

MartG said:

My car horn broke yesterday and a passing scout fixed it.
I said I was amazed he knew how..
He said "Well it's all in our Motto..."

Be prepared ???

1320 post

[phazed]

Dilligaf10 said:

sc0tt said:

??

Beep repaired

Thought it might have been, "dib, dib, dib".

But that's a cubs.......

[EarlOfHazard]

Dilligaf10 said:

sc0tt said:

??

Beep repaired

Ahhh

[Vipers]

EarlOfHazard said:

Dilligaf10 said:

sc0tt said:

??

Beep repaired

Ahhh

Glad that was explained.

[Kinkell]

Young Barney the polar bear. " mum, mum am I a polar bear" ?
Mum " of course you are son"
Barney " dad , dad am I really a polar bear" ?
Dad " Son you're a polar like your mum and me so why are you asking"?
Barney " Because I'm fkin freezing"

[MartG]

[Muntu]

I was in a long queue in Tesco. When I finally got to the till the chubby assistant said, “Sorry about the wait.”

I said, “Have you tried going on a diet?”

[MartG]

[ApOrbital]

You To Me Are Everything well was.

[Laurel Green]

Oh baby.

[ApOrbital]

[MartG]

We're about to have a bad spell of wether.

[MartG]

Prince Charles and Camilla were spending their wedding night at Windsor Castle,the Queen and Prince Phillip were also staying there.

Prince Charles is sat on his bed when Camilla comes up to him and asks"I say Charles,could one help me off with my boot,as they are so tight!!"
"Of course my dear"He replies.

After much pulling and twisting they don't manage to get it off. Camilla,then starts to howl,"Come on Charles,its soo tight and it hurts,get it over with!!!"
The Queen upon hearing this,turns to Phillip and says"See Phillip,i told you she was still a virgin!!!"
After managing to get the first boot off,Camilla shouts at Charles"Now you have do my other one and thats even tighter!!!"
Phillip looks at the Queen and with a wry grin says" See Liz,once a Navy man,always a Navy man!"

[phazed]

That's awful.

[rayny]

phazed said:

That's awful.

Treasonous comments are not awful, they are un-lawful