Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 9)
Discussion
I went to the cinema last night and it was a nightmare.
There was a woman sat next to me, feet up on the seat in front, munching away at a packet of crisps, passing loud comment on the film and complaining that she couldn’t see what was happening because she’d forgotten her glasses.
I remember thinking, “That does it, I’m not bringing her again.”
There was a woman sat next to me, feet up on the seat in front, munching away at a packet of crisps, passing loud comment on the film and complaining that she couldn’t see what was happening because she’d forgotten her glasses.
I remember thinking, “That does it, I’m not bringing her again.”
LordGrover said:
In a similar vein, though not a joke so doesn't really belong here - but I just want to post it somewhere.
TMS Aggers reading Twitter.
It must have been dusty this morning , left my eyes a bit watery for a while .TMS Aggers reading Twitter.
So many good times listening to TMS over the years , even having the radio on while watching the action on TV with the TV sound off .
grumpy52 said:
LordGrover said:
In a similar vein, though not a joke so doesn't really belong here - but I just want to post it somewhere.
TMS Aggers reading Twitter.
It must have been dusty this morning , left my eyes a bit watery for a while .TMS Aggers reading Twitter.
So many good times listening to TMS over the years , even having the radio on while watching the action on TV with the TV sound off .
An old Diver was in a bar telling old diving stories to the barman and he ordered a drink.
As he sat sipping his whiskey a young lady sat down next to him.
She turned to the Diver and asked "Are you a real offshore diver?"
He replied "Well, I've spent my whole life offshore, inspecting pipelines, installing risers, and fitting flanges together, so I guess I am."
She said "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. As I watch TV, or even eat, I think about women. Everything seems to make me think about women."
The two sat sipping in silence.
A short time later, a man sat down on the other side of the old diver and asked "are you a real offshore diver?"
He replied "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."
As he sat sipping his whiskey a young lady sat down next to him.
She turned to the Diver and asked "Are you a real offshore diver?"
He replied "Well, I've spent my whole life offshore, inspecting pipelines, installing risers, and fitting flanges together, so I guess I am."
She said "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. As I watch TV, or even eat, I think about women. Everything seems to make me think about women."
The two sat sipping in silence.
A short time later, a man sat down on the other side of the old diver and asked "are you a real offshore diver?"
He replied "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."
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