Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 9)

[Bollycerb]

Rabbit.... ??

[Amused2death]

Bollycerb said:

Rabbit.... ??

Aint no pleasing you.

[Laurel Green]

Gertcha.

[Troubleatmill]

Amused2death said:

Bollycerb said:

Rabbit.... ??

Aint no pleasing you.

I don't care.

[Usget]

Tony 1234 said:

Laurel Green said:

Troubleatmill said:

Doofus said:

Shamelessly stolen from elsewhere on Pistonheads. Credit goes to PHer tight fart:



My mate won a Land Rover experience day.

They drove him to a layby on the A38 where he had to wait 4 hours for the RAC.

Plus another

Very good

I started to tell this joke to my formerly Land Rover-owning mate. Got as far as the first line and, without knowing I was telling a joke, he replied "Oh really, do they do broken down on the side of the m5 experience days?"

Many a true word said in jest it seems!

[Evangelion]

Reminds me of the time a lady I was chatting up told me she did yoga. I had to confess I knew very little about it, but was familiar with the lotus position ... broken down at the side of the road.

She had two petrolhead brothers, so fortunately got the joke.

[Skyedriver]

Tony 1234 said:

Laurel Green said:

Troubleatmill said:

Doofus said:

Shamelessly stolen from elsewhere on Pistonheads. Credit goes to PHer tight fart:



My mate won a Land Rover experience day.

They drove him to a layby on the A38 where he had to wait 4 hours for the RAC.

Plus another

Very good

And yet another thanks

[Ultra Sound Guy]

Someone suggested that I should try toasted teacakes for supper tonight!

Totally unrelated, does anyone know how to remove melted chocolate and marshmallow from an electric toaster?

[phazed]

Skyedriver said:

Tony 1234 said:

Laurel Green said:

Troubleatmill said:

Doofus said:

Shamelessly stolen from elsewhere on Pistonheads. Credit goes to PHer tight fart:



My mate won a Land Rover experience day.

They drove him to a layby on the A38 where he had to wait 4 hours for the RAC.

Plus another

Very good

And yet another thanks

Only related by content. I had a TD5 disco up to about 185,000 miles and it didn't miss a beat, never broke down and only had one of the air suspension units renewed, (about £80). Compare that to the air suspension unit that exploded like a terrorist bomb in London on my Mercedes ML, about £550 for the unit on its own!

I'll go now...........

[Dilligaf10]

phazed said:

Only related by content. I had a TD5 disco up to about 185,000 miles and it didn't miss a beat, never broke down and only had one of the air suspension units renewed, (about £80). Compare that to the air suspension unit that exploded like a terrorist bomb in London on my Mercedes ML, about £550 for the unit on its own!

I'll go now...........

Or £1100 for an Audi A8 unit at an independent!

[EarlOfHazard]

The inventor of the hard boiled egg, wrapped in sausage meat has died.

RIP Scott Chegg

[Vipers]

EarlOfHazard said:

The inventor of the hard boiled egg, wrapped in sausage meat has died.

RIP Scott Chegg

Good yoke . You just knew that was coming.

[simoid]

Milton Jones(?)

“It’s incrdible to think the entire 6 million population of Scotland started as just one scotch egg.”

[Doofus]

What's actually incredible is that people think Milton Jones is funny.

[simoid]

Doofus said:

What's actually incredible is that people think Milton Jones is funny.

Not understanding this punchline, could someone explain?

[Ultra Sound Guy]

How do you stop a cat in its tracks?
Press paws!

[EarlOfHazard]

Vipers said:

EarlOfHazard said:

The inventor of the hard boiled egg, wrapped in sausage meat has died.

RIP Scott Chegg

Good yoke . You just knew that was coming.

Sean Connery voice: Exshellent.

[nonsequitur]

Doofus said:

What's actually incredible is that people think Milton Jones is funny.

Yes. He's funny. Very Funny. All one liners, but hey....he's funny. ...................................... (was that ok Milton?)

[Vipers]

My girlfriend left a note on the fridge, it said -

"It's not working, I can't take it anymore. I am going home to my mum"

I opened the fridge, the light came on.

The beer was cold.

What the hell is she on about.

[ChemicalChaos]

I had my leg X-rayed today.
The doctor said: 'Your patella measures 2.54cm'.
I said: 'Inch-high knees?'
He said: '您的髌骨是2.54厘米高.'