Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 9)

[paua]

B'stard Child said:

StevieBee said:

They said that because I'm dyslexic, I'd be no good at poetry.

What do they know? Only this week I've made two vases and a jug.

nine days ago (8/10)

GloverMart said:

They told me I would never be good at poetry because of my dyslexia.

I've had the last laugh though. So far, I’ve made three jugs and a vase....

That's 3 vases and 4 jugs now

Inflation.

[B'stard Child]

paua said:

B'stard Child said:

StevieBee said:

They said that because I'm dyslexic, I'd be no good at poetry.

What do they know? Only this week I've made two vases and a jug.

nine days ago (8/10)

GloverMart said:

They told me I would never be good at poetry because of my dyslexia.

I've had the last laugh though. So far, I’ve made three jugs and a vase....

That's 3 vases and 4 jugs now

Inflation.

Pretty poor output for two potters - in 9 days - perhaps limited qty of clay and sharing a wheel

[glenrobbo]

B'stard Child said:

Pretty poor output for two potters - in 9 days - perhaps limited qty of clay and sharing a wheel

There's no incentive - a potter urns very little.

[boyse7en]

glenrobbo said:

B'stard Child said:

Pretty poor output for two potters - in 9 days - perhaps limited qty of clay and sharing a wheel

There's no incentive - a potter urns very little.

You're fired!

[Vipers]

B'stard Child said:

CanAm said:

Or of similar age:-

Q. How many Essex girls does it take to screw-in a light bulb?

A. Essex girls don't screw-in light bulbs; they screw in Cortinas.

Old ones are frequently the best

Vipers QED

I am waiting for someone to ask what a Cortina is

[glenrobbo]

Vipers said:

I am waiting for someone to ask what a Cortina is

Isn't it one of those squeezy organ things?

[davhill]

boyse7en said:

You're fired!

Glazed over did he?

[glenrobbo]

boyse7en said:

glenrobbo said:

B'stard Child said:

Pretty poor output for two potters - in 9 days - perhaps limited qty of clay and sharing a wheel

There's no incentive - a potter urns very little.

You're fired!

Kiln 'ell!

[simoid]

Doofus said:

glenrobbo said:

Kiln 'ell!

I don’t get it.

[Doofus]

simoid said:

Doofus said:

glenrobbo said:

Kiln 'ell!

I don’t get it.

Har de kin har.

I understand jokes which make sense. I'm not going to pretemd to understand a poorly constructed joke just to avoid offending the poster.

[TorqueVR]

glenrobbo said:

Isn't it one of those squeezy organ things?

No, that's a vagina

[Trophy Husband]

glenrobbo said:

Vipers said:

I am waiting for someone to ask what a Cortina is

Isn't it one of those squeezy organ things?

The crumple zones were very similar.

[simoid]

Doofus said:

Har de kin har.

[dirty boy]

Where does Kylie Minogue buy her kebabs from?

Jason's Doner Van






(well I laughed)

[B'stard Child]

Vipers said:

B'stard Child said:

CanAm said:

Or of similar age:-

Q. How many Essex girls does it take to screw-in a light bulb?

A. Essex girls don't screw-in light bulbs; they screw in Cortinas.

Old ones are frequently the best

Vipers QED

I am waiting for someone to ask what a Cortina is

[Ultra Sound Guy]

Looks like you're Cortina trap there!

[gothatway]

No turning back !

[CanAm]

Vipers said:

I am waiting for someone to ask what a Cortina is

It'll soon turn up on the "CARS YOU DIDN'T KNOW EXISTED" thread.

[Ultra Sound Guy]

CanAm said:

Vipers said:

I am waiting for someone to ask what a Cortina is

It'll soon turn up on the "CARS YOU DIDN'T KNOW EXISTED" thread.

In between Corsair and Capri!

[Usget]

paua said:

B'stard Child said:

StevieBee said:

They said that because I'm dyslexic, I'd be no good at poetry.

What do they know? Only this week I've made two vases and a jug.

nine days ago (8/10)

GloverMart said:

They told me I would never be good at poetry because of my dyslexia.

I've had the last laugh though. So far, I’ve made three jugs and a vase....

That's 3 vases and 4 jugs now

Inflation.

No, you're thinking of glass-blowing