Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 9)
Discussion
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A man went to the doctor. In the consulting room, the doctor asked, What's troubling you today?"
The man said, Well I don't know doctor,"I have a strawberry sticking out of my a
hole."
OK, said the doctor, "Put your trousers and underpants at half mast and bend over. I'll take a look."
The man looked round anxiously as the doctor straightened up.
"Yes," the doctor said. "You do indeed have a strawberry protruding from your anus. But don't worry, I've got some cream for that"
The man said, Well I don't know doctor,"I have a strawberry sticking out of my a
hole."OK, said the doctor, "Put your trousers and underpants at half mast and bend over. I'll take a look."
The man looked round anxiously as the doctor straightened up.
"Yes," the doctor said. "You do indeed have a strawberry protruding from your anus. But don't worry, I've got some cream for that"
A man went to see the doctor, who asked him what the trouble was.
"Well it's strange," he said. "it all started on Friday morning, when I woke up convinced I'd turned into a branch of Tesco's. Saturday I felt like a Co-op, Sunday I thought I was an ASDA, and yesterday a Waitrose."
"And how are you feeling now?"
"Like an Aldi."
The doctor wrote out a prescription for some pills, told the patient to take two every six hours and come back in the morning.
So the nest day the doctor asked, "How's it going? Are you better tday?"
"A Lidl."
"Well it's strange," he said. "it all started on Friday morning, when I woke up convinced I'd turned into a branch of Tesco's. Saturday I felt like a Co-op, Sunday I thought I was an ASDA, and yesterday a Waitrose."
"And how are you feeling now?"
"Like an Aldi."
The doctor wrote out a prescription for some pills, told the patient to take two every six hours and come back in the morning.
So the nest day the doctor asked, "How's it going? Are you better tday?"
"A Lidl."
Evangelion said:
A man went to see the doctor, who asked him what the trouble was.
"Well it's strange," he said. "it all started on Friday morning, when I woke up convinced I'd turned into a branch of Tesco's. Saturday I felt like a Co-op, Sunday I thought I was an ASDA, and yesterday a Waitrose."
"And how are you feeling now?"
"Like an Aldi."
The doctor wrote out a prescription for some pills, told the patient to take two every six hours and come back in the morning.
So the nest day the doctor asked, "How's it going? Are you better tday?"
"A Lidl."
I just embellished that, and turned it into a shaggy dog story. It took about five minutes to tell to my wife."Well it's strange," he said. "it all started on Friday morning, when I woke up convinced I'd turned into a branch of Tesco's. Saturday I felt like a Co-op, Sunday I thought I was an ASDA, and yesterday a Waitrose."
"And how are you feeling now?"
"Like an Aldi."
The doctor wrote out a prescription for some pills, told the patient to take two every six hours and come back in the morning.
So the nest day the doctor asked, "How's it going? Are you better tday?"
"A Lidl."
She's really pissed off with me now...
Evangelion said:
A man went to see the doctor, who asked him what the trouble was.
"Well it's strange," he said. "it all started on Friday morning, when I woke up convinced I'd turned into a branch of Tesco's. Saturday I felt like a Co-op, Sunday I thought I was an ASDA, and yesterday a Waitrose."
"And how are you feeling now?"
"Like an Aldi."
The doctor wrote out a prescription for some pills, told the patient to take two every six hours and come back in the morning.
So the nest day the doctor asked, "How's it going? Are you better tday?"
"A Lidl."
I just embellished that, and turned it into a shaggy dog story. It took about five minutes to tell to my wife."Well it's strange," he said. "it all started on Friday morning, when I woke up convinced I'd turned into a branch of Tesco's. Saturday I felt like a Co-op, Sunday I thought I was an ASDA, and yesterday a Waitrose."
"And how are you feeling now?"
"Like an Aldi."
The doctor wrote out a prescription for some pills, told the patient to take two every six hours and come back in the morning.
So the nest day the doctor asked, "How's it going? Are you better tday?"
"A Lidl."
She's really pissed off with me now...
davhill said:
"What can I do for you today?" asked the doctor.
The man replied, "Well doctor, it's like this. When I woke up today, I thought I was Mickey Mouse. Before that, I was Donald Duck and before that, I was Goofy."
The doctor asked, "How long have you been having these Disney spells?"
Jock says, "Ah Disney know!"The man replied, "Well doctor, it's like this. When I woke up today, I thought I was Mickey Mouse. Before that, I was Donald Duck and before that, I was Goofy."
The doctor asked, "How long have you been having these Disney spells?"
davhill said:
A man went to the doctor. In the consulting room, the doctor asked, What's troubling you today?"
The man said, Well I don't know doctor,"I have a strawberry sticking out of my ahole."
OK, said the doctor, "Put your trousers and underpants at half mast and bend over. I'll take a look."
The man looked round anxiously as the doctor straightened up.
"Yes," the doctor said. "You do indeed have a strawberry protruding from your anus. But don't worry, I've got some cream for that"
A man goes to the doctors saying he has a problem done below. The man said, Well I don't know doctor,"I have a strawberry sticking out of my a
hole."OK, said the doctor, "Put your trousers and underpants at half mast and bend over. I'll take a look."
The man looked round anxiously as the doctor straightened up.
"Yes," the doctor said. "You do indeed have a strawberry protruding from your anus. But don't worry, I've got some cream for that"
Upon inspection the chap has a lettuce primping out of his bumhole.
The doctor says that it is just the tip of the Iceberg.
Trophy Husband said:
davhill said:
A man went to the doctor. In the consulting room, the doctor asked, What's troubling you today?"
The man said, Well I don't know doctor,"I have a strawberry sticking out of my ahole."
OK, said the doctor, "Put your trousers and underpants at half mast and bend over. I'll take a look."
The man looked round anxiously as the doctor straightened up.
"Yes," the doctor said. "You do indeed have a strawberry protruding from your anus. But don't worry, I've got some cream for that"
A man goes to the doctors saying he has a problem done below. The man said, Well I don't know doctor,"I have a strawberry sticking out of my a
hole."OK, said the doctor, "Put your trousers and underpants at half mast and bend over. I'll take a look."
The man looked round anxiously as the doctor straightened up.
"Yes," the doctor said. "You do indeed have a strawberry protruding from your anus. But don't worry, I've got some cream for that"
Upon inspection the chap has a lettuce primping out of his bumhole.
The doctor says that it is just the tip of the Iceberg.
Mothersruin said:
'Read the card! Read the card!
I was just thinking that 
I was lying in bed in a German hospital when the Dr came in and asked me how I was feeling.
'An odd thing happened earlier' I said 'I thought I saw a sausage flying past the window, but then I realised it was a small bird'.
'I see' he replied 'I think you may have taken a tern for the wurst.'
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