How Solid Really is Your Marriage
Discussion
Bit of an odd one for PH's especially when we read so many threads about divorce and of course going into the new year when some couples will be getting xmas out the way before it all kicks off.
The wife and i have been through thick and thin over the years although our marriage have never been in question and all that life has thrown at us has really made us stronger and we have been together well in excess of 20yrs.
I really believe that together we will cope with anything.
So how solid do we all really think our relationships are with all life can throw at us?
I'm hoping the new year isnt full of divorce stories !
The wife and i have been through thick and thin over the years although our marriage have never been in question and all that life has thrown at us has really made us stronger and we have been together well in excess of 20yrs.
I really believe that together we will cope with anything.
So how solid do we all really think our relationships are with all life can throw at us?
I'm hoping the new year isnt full of divorce stories !
FocusRS3 said:
So how solid do we all really think our relationships are with all life can throw at us?
Life doesn't throw much to most people though?As old fashioned and unpolitical correct as it is, most marriage happiness often comes down to the husband being fed a good meal fairly regularly, and getting bedroom activity fairly regularly - as guys will tolerate the weird ways of women if they are kept happy, and when happy, it brings the best out of them too.
And both partners making some effort too keep the figures they had when they met rather than getting fat also helps a lot.
Unless you got married early and so changed as you matured, the partner you have is someone who ticks all the boxes for you, so just need to put in the work to maintain the relationship.
29 years together, 22 years married. Two teenage kids... We were, and now two teenage kids, we have! Yoda, I am.
We always say we will give it another week and see how it goes; it has worked so far.
A few really rough times through the years, but hard to leave when your best friend that you want to talk it through with is also your partner.
I would love to say there is a secret; but I think it is luck in the choice and perseverance.
Marry someone you like as well as fancy?
We always say we will give it another week and see how it goes; it has worked so far.
A few really rough times through the years, but hard to leave when your best friend that you want to talk it through with is also your partner.
I would love to say there is a secret; but I think it is luck in the choice and perseverance.
Marry someone you like as well as fancy?
OP, I'd say similar to you. Not been married as long but have experienced highs and lows. As time passes we get stronger, closer, more in love.
I can't imagine ever splitting. However, I'm not naive enough to guarantee it could never happen. All I can say is that it would take a cataclysmic event for me to even think about it.
Nice to have a thread that inspires reflection on the positives of marriage and lets us appreciate our relationships.
I can't imagine ever splitting. However, I'm not naive enough to guarantee it could never happen. All I can say is that it would take a cataclysmic event for me to even think about it.
Nice to have a thread that inspires reflection on the positives of marriage and lets us appreciate our relationships.
Edited by mcbook on Thursday 7th December 11:00
mcbook said:
OP, I'd say similar to you. Not been married as long but have experienced highs and lows. As passes we get stronger, closer, more in love.
I can't imagine ever splitting. However, I'm not naive enough to guarantee it could never happen. All I can say is that it would take a cataclysmic event for me to even think about it.
Nice to have a thread that inspires reflection on the positives of marriage and let's us appreciate our relationships.
Well said and better put than me.I can't imagine ever splitting. However, I'm not naive enough to guarantee it could never happen. All I can say is that it would take a cataclysmic event for me to even think about it.
Nice to have a thread that inspires reflection on the positives of marriage and let's us appreciate our relationships.
We are clearly on the same page
Having been married for 2 weeks i'll have to get back to you on that...
That said we have been together for 12 years, living together for 11 and a half of those and we've had our fair share of life's little joys and curve balls. Honestly as each year passes we seem to grow together as a couple more and more and whilst we have the odd up and down we are very much a team and work as one, and will do so even more in the years to come now that we are no longer subject to the inequality of opportunity for unmarried couples.
That said we have been together for 12 years, living together for 11 and a half of those and we've had our fair share of life's little joys and curve balls. Honestly as each year passes we seem to grow together as a couple more and more and whilst we have the odd up and down we are very much a team and work as one, and will do so even more in the years to come now that we are no longer subject to the inequality of opportunity for unmarried couples.
For us its about being a TEAM no question.
We have a great relationship with our kids and are very open with them. They see us hold hands, kiss and cuddle as well as tell each other how much we love one another. Consequently the kids say "love you" regularly too.
We sit and have a glass of wine together too which is a great way to wind down and get everything out for a discussion.
I see other couples who have none of that and spend time at each others throats by not being able to compromise and not being able to focus on the important things in life such as family.
I find that sad and pointless
We have a great relationship with our kids and are very open with them. They see us hold hands, kiss and cuddle as well as tell each other how much we love one another. Consequently the kids say "love you" regularly too.
We sit and have a glass of wine together too which is a great way to wind down and get everything out for a discussion.
I see other couples who have none of that and spend time at each others throats by not being able to compromise and not being able to focus on the important things in life such as family.
I find that sad and pointless
Edited by FocusRS3 on Thursday 7th December 10:31
TVR Moneypit said:
Mrs Moneypit and I have been together for 15 years and married for 12 years this coming March. Spring chicken compared to many of you.
Without going into too many details, we've been through stuff that many couples would not.
She is my rock,my other half, my soul mate, my lover and my best friend. Between her and my daughter, they're the reasons why I get up in the morning. Without them, I'd be nothing. She's intelligent, charming, very funny, honest, hard working, kind, generous and a great mother. She's a fantastic cook, , sexy and beautiful, has a great figure and I love her more as each day passes. I am a lucky man. Most women would have dumped me a long time ago.
Oh, she also browses PH.
I guess the secret to it all has been one of mutual respect. Plus we're very much alike, so very rarely argue, and continue to make each other laugh. Yeah, the laughter is important I'd say.
Nice post Without going into too many details, we've been through stuff that many couples would not.
She is my rock,my other half, my soul mate, my lover and my best friend. Between her and my daughter, they're the reasons why I get up in the morning. Without them, I'd be nothing. She's intelligent, charming, very funny, honest, hard working, kind, generous and a great mother. She's a fantastic cook, , sexy and beautiful, has a great figure and I love her more as each day passes. I am a lucky man. Most women would have dumped me a long time ago.
Oh, she also browses PH.
I guess the secret to it all has been one of mutual respect. Plus we're very much alike, so very rarely argue, and continue to make each other laugh. Yeah, the laughter is important I'd say.
Stuart70 said:
Marry someone you like as well as fancy?
This is the shocker for me - quite a few of my friends confessed to me that they didn't really fancy their partner! Obviously this was after a few beers, which I guess was the same state in which they proposed to said partner, but given that they are all reasonable looking blokes with decent jobs .. then again it is hard to find the right person .. and they'll always have a better looking sister/friend etc.md4776 said:
I've tried to talk to her on it but nothing seems to be met with much of a response. It's always been the way that there's a bit of a role reversal with us; shes much less likely to tell me how she feels or instigate any affectionate gestures. A few months ago I stopped as well and she doesnt appear to have even noticed.
Been there, done that. It's horrible. Sorry mate.
md4776 said:
It's nice to read the stories. I feel my relationship is straining and stretching the other way, getting thinner and thinner. Ironically like my hair line, still there, just not as full as it used to be.
Double digit years together with a young kid. We seem to co exist more than anything else these days. I can see if it remains this way then the writings on the wall but I'm not sure how to prevent it. I've tried to talk to her on it but nothing seems to be met with much of a response. It's always been the way that there's a bit of a role reversal with us; shes much less likely to tell me how she feels or instigate any affectionate gestures. A few months ago I stopped as well and she doesnt appear to have even noticed.
Actually feels slightly better to have written it out as the words have been trapped in my head until now.
My wife isnt 'touchy feely' affectionate its me that does that and initiates cuddles but she is extremely thoughtful in other ways plus she is an amazing mother and wife.Double digit years together with a young kid. We seem to co exist more than anything else these days. I can see if it remains this way then the writings on the wall but I'm not sure how to prevent it. I've tried to talk to her on it but nothing seems to be met with much of a response. It's always been the way that there's a bit of a role reversal with us; shes much less likely to tell me how she feels or instigate any affectionate gestures. A few months ago I stopped as well and she doesnt appear to have even noticed.
Actually feels slightly better to have written it out as the words have been trapped in my head until now.
For a while it bugged me that she didn't also do the affection stuff but i wasnt looking at the bigger picture really and then the kids came along so her affections and attention was divided further.
Its hard when you want to sit down and talk things through but you are met with a brick wall. Perseverance may well work on that front as she cant ignore it forever.
Good luck
md4776 said:
It's nice to read the stories. I feel my relationship is straining and stretching the other way, getting thinner and thinner. Ironically like my hair line, still there, just not as full as it used to be.
Double digit years together with a young kid. We seem to co exist more than anything else these days. I can see if it remains this way then the writings on the wall but I'm not sure how to prevent it. I've tried to talk to her on it but nothing seems to be met with much of a response. It's always been the way that there's a bit of a role reversal with us; shes much less likely to tell me how she feels or instigate any affectionate gestures. A few months ago I stopped as well and she doesnt appear to have even noticed.
Actually feels slightly better to have written it out as the words have been trapped in my head until now.
Really sorry to hear that. If you want it to be better, you should do something about it. Easier said than done, I know. Maybe be more forceful about tackling/discussing the issues or even suggest seeing a counsellor? Double digit years together with a young kid. We seem to co exist more than anything else these days. I can see if it remains this way then the writings on the wall but I'm not sure how to prevent it. I've tried to talk to her on it but nothing seems to be met with much of a response. It's always been the way that there's a bit of a role reversal with us; shes much less likely to tell me how she feels or instigate any affectionate gestures. A few months ago I stopped as well and she doesnt appear to have even noticed.
Actually feels slightly better to have written it out as the words have been trapped in my head until now.
hyphen said:
As old fashioned and unpolitical correct as it is, most marriage happiness often comes down to the husband being fed a good meal fairly regularly, and getting bedroom activity fairly regularly - as guys will tolerate the weird ways of women if they are kept happy.....
I think that is an old fashioned thing. My missus knows what needs to be done, and she learned that off her mother. Younger women seem to want to be married and have kids, but also want to be independent.
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