How Solid Really is Your Marriage
Discussion
anonymous said:
[redacted]
I think you've said in the past that your wife had a pretty high-level job so she surely can't be as hopeless at life in general as you suggest?Despite my mother-in-law being from a generation where women generally gave up work on marriage I would say they had a very balanced relationship - he had a pretty big job and she was quite involved with that in terms of assisting him when she could, going to functions etc and they certainly discussed a lot of things.
One of my daughters is married to a guy who could really do with her being there sometimes, but she's swamped by her own job. They just seem to exist as two lives in parallel, rarely colliding. Maybe that works for some couples but it often seems a bit pointless.
53 years together and married for 50 years. There's been ups and downs in that time but you just work through the problems and get on with it. I don't think people today can be bothered and as soon as problems arise they want out, when we got married it was a serious undertaking as it was nigh on impossible to get a divorce easily.
Rollo Tomasi - A Love Poem
We’ve never met
I don’t even know your name
But I know what it is you are
I know what you have done
We have never even met
But I know a lot about you
Summer barbeque, the scent of beer
And in her face I see the fear
Then I know what it is you are
We’ve never met
She never speaks your name
But I know what it is you are
I know what you have done
We have never ever met
But I know what it is that you are
Sleeping still she holds our child tight
Keeping him safe from evil in the night
Then I know what you have done
We’ve never met
I don’t even know your name
But I know what it is you are
I know what you have done
We have never even met
But I know a lot about you
Uninvited I stroke her thighs
And see apprehension misty in grey eyes
Then I know too much about you
We’ve never met
I don’t even know your name
But I know what it is you are
I know what you have done
We have never ever met
But I know what you have done
Gently I hold her, tell her, you are not to blame
Progress! Only on a bad day does she still feel shame
But it is everyday that I know what it is that you are
We’ve never met
I don’t even know your name
But I know what it is you are
I know what you have done
We have never met
But I know a lot about you
Bodies entwined, I reach out too fast
Rekindle a scar and the moment is passed
Then I know what it is you have done
I have never met you face to face
You excuse, you pathetic waste of space
But I know who you are you git
I know what you have done you piece of s
t
Although she doesn’t speak your name
You who scarred my lover, my wife
Another time, a very different life
I know and sense and feel and live with your doing
And rinse and cleanse it with my being.
We’ve never met
I don’t even know your name
But I know what it is you are
I know what you have done
We have never even met
But I know a lot about you
Summer barbeque, the scent of beer
And in her face I see the fear
Then I know what it is you are
We’ve never met
She never speaks your name
But I know what it is you are
I know what you have done
We have never ever met
But I know what it is that you are
Sleeping still she holds our child tight
Keeping him safe from evil in the night
Then I know what you have done
We’ve never met
I don’t even know your name
But I know what it is you are
I know what you have done
We have never even met
But I know a lot about you
Uninvited I stroke her thighs
And see apprehension misty in grey eyes
Then I know too much about you
We’ve never met
I don’t even know your name
But I know what it is you are
I know what you have done
We have never ever met
But I know what you have done
Gently I hold her, tell her, you are not to blame
Progress! Only on a bad day does she still feel shame
But it is everyday that I know what it is that you are
We’ve never met
I don’t even know your name
But I know what it is you are
I know what you have done
We have never met
But I know a lot about you
Bodies entwined, I reach out too fast
Rekindle a scar and the moment is passed
Then I know what it is you have done
I have never met you face to face
You excuse, you pathetic waste of space
But I know who you are you git
I know what you have done you piece of s
tAlthough she doesn’t speak your name
You who scarred my lover, my wife
Another time, a very different life
I know and sense and feel and live with your doing
And rinse and cleanse it with my being.
SCEtoAUX said:
Married for 26 years.
We're very well suited to each other and I agree that as long as blokes get fed, enjoy a few beers and the wife does the bedroom stuff we're generally happy.
As long as the wife does the bedroom stuff? Are you SURE? Doesn’t sound right to me.We're very well suited to each other and I agree that as long as blokes get fed, enjoy a few beers and the wife does the bedroom stuff we're generally happy.
“The wife” (I detest that expression), in your scenario sounds like she may be doing it with a gun to her head.
My wife, (isn’t that better?), feeds me, but I cook for both of us sometimes, I don’t drink beer, never liked the taste, but I enjoy a decent vodka.
My wife could start a fight in an empty house, but we’re solid as a rock.
I recognise the OP's name from another thread I was on earlier today, so when I saw this and read through I was convinced that the subject was spawned by the other thread.
My wife and I have been married 22 years and together 24, yes like very couple we have been through highs and lows, it's how you, as a couple, deal with the lows that determines how your relationship goes forwards, we laugh together a lot, we discuss EVERYTHING, there are no limitations to this, she does the financial stuff because if I have £1 i'll spend it, I do the emotional stuff because she doesn't know how to deal with it, while people are saying intimacy is important, and yes it is, it is not the be all and end all, we used to have a very good sex life but as we matured, and spread out, and life took it's toll in many ways, we grew closer in a loving way, we can take the micky out of each other, question each other, tell each other off for what ever reason, in answer to the original question from the OP, I trust my wife implicitly, in every way, and without our support, love and understanding of each other, I really don't think we would have got through some of the things life has thrown at us.
My wife and I have been married 22 years and together 24, yes like very couple we have been through highs and lows, it's how you, as a couple, deal with the lows that determines how your relationship goes forwards, we laugh together a lot, we discuss EVERYTHING, there are no limitations to this, she does the financial stuff because if I have £1 i'll spend it, I do the emotional stuff because she doesn't know how to deal with it, while people are saying intimacy is important, and yes it is, it is not the be all and end all, we used to have a very good sex life but as we matured, and spread out, and life took it's toll in many ways, we grew closer in a loving way, we can take the micky out of each other, question each other, tell each other off for what ever reason, in answer to the original question from the OP, I trust my wife implicitly, in every way, and without our support, love and understanding of each other, I really don't think we would have got through some of the things life has thrown at us.
Met in early 2015, married in June this year.
Both very happy and very chilled. In a sense we are quite different we very different interests, but we think very much alike. She is my best friend and always there to support me like I am for her. We like many other couples have had our moments, but we both soon forget about it and realise why we ended up arguing.
I would never be without her, but we work well as a team. 2017 has been a very tough year mentally for both of us, beyond just the wedding. Loosing my job in early Feb really tested our relationship, but she was there every day for me through it all (end result is I found a nicer job with more involvement and direction - slightly longer hours accepted).
Both very happy and very chilled. In a sense we are quite different we very different interests, but we think very much alike. She is my best friend and always there to support me like I am for her. We like many other couples have had our moments, but we both soon forget about it and realise why we ended up arguing.
I would never be without her, but we work well as a team. 2017 has been a very tough year mentally for both of us, beyond just the wedding. Loosing my job in early Feb really tested our relationship, but she was there every day for me through it all (end result is I found a nicer job with more involvement and direction - slightly longer hours accepted).
Octoposse said:
Rollo Tomasi - A Love Poem
We’ve never met
I don’t even know your name
But I know what it is you are
I know what you have done
We have never even met
But I know a lot about you
A poem about his partner's rapist or abuser? That's what it seems like to me. Hope you're not posting it due to being in a similar situation.We’ve never met
I don’t even know your name
But I know what it is you are
I know what you have done
We have never even met
But I know a lot about you
Ninja59 said:
Met in early 2015, married in June this year.
Both very happy and very chilled. In a sense we are quite different we very different interests, but we think very much alike. She is my best friend and always there to support me like I am for her. We like many other couples have had our moments, but we both soon forget about it and realise why we ended up arguing.
I would never be without her, but we work well as a team. 2017 has been a very tough year mentally for both of us, beyond just the wedding. Loosing my job in early Feb really tested our relationship, but she was there every day for me through it all (end result is I found a nicer job with more involvement and direction - slightly longer hours accepted).
This kind of stuff is important to have lived through and made you stringer. Its also shown you how committed your wife is to you.Both very happy and very chilled. In a sense we are quite different we very different interests, but we think very much alike. She is my best friend and always there to support me like I am for her. We like many other couples have had our moments, but we both soon forget about it and realise why we ended up arguing.
I would never be without her, but we work well as a team. 2017 has been a very tough year mentally for both of us, beyond just the wedding. Loosing my job in early Feb really tested our relationship, but she was there every day for me through it all (end result is I found a nicer job with more involvement and direction - slightly longer hours accepted).
We went through a very stressful work related situation which worked out well in the end but she was there for my every fall and i had a few.
Has puts lots into perspective for us.
We enjoy a cheap bottle of wine and food indoors whilst having a good natter rather than trying to 'Lord' it in swanky restaurants in a plastic relationship all made for show.
She could dress in total rags and will always be the woman for me
FocusRS3 said:
This kind of stuff is important to have lived through and made you stringer. Its also shown you how committed your wife is to you.
We went through a very stressful work related situation which worked out well in the end but she was there for my every fall and i had a few.
Has puts lots into perspective for us.
We enjoy a cheap bottle of wine and food indoors whilst having a good natter rather than trying to 'Lord' it in swanky restaurants in a plastic relationship all made for show.
She could dress in total rags and will always be the woman for me
I would definitely agree to the first statement 100%. We went through a very stressful work related situation which worked out well in the end but she was there for my every fall and i had a few.
Has puts lots into perspective for us.
We enjoy a cheap bottle of wine and food indoors whilst having a good natter rather than trying to 'Lord' it in swanky restaurants in a plastic relationship all made for show.
She could dress in total rags and will always be the woman for me
I like you had a very similar moments with a few interviews that did not feel right, applications not going anywhere etc. But like you she was always there.
Ironically we also go out less now and enjoy cooking more and a bottle of wine as well as talking more about our day etc. I think the hardest moment was telling her about it all, but she was surprised how determined I was just to get on with life and improve myself at the same time.
I think something else that has not been mentioned on here is the "social media life". What do I mean by that?
Well, I can think of a few of my wife's colleagues who are married, have a child or children and are generally if judged solely on their social media profiles their life is perfect. Reality though is much different when you find all the s
te that has also been going on.Ninja59 said:
I think something else that has not been mentioned on here is the "social media life". What do I mean by that?
Well, I can think of a few of my wife's colleagues who are married, have a child or children and are generally if judged solely on their social media profiles their life is perfect. Reality though is much different when you find all the ste that has also been going on.
I have a theory that the more people project a "perfect social media image" the sWell, I can think of a few of my wife's colleagues who are married, have a child or children and are generally if judged solely on their social media profiles their life is perfect. Reality though is much different when you find all the s
te that has also been going on.ttier the reality really is. If you're truly happy you don't have to show off about itThis year has been tough for us, my mum passed away which has seen a challenge to her Will which includes some horrific allegations, I've been diagnosed with a rare, aggressive incurable cancer, this has resulted in us having some conversations we never expected to have. He has been a rock through my surgery and chemo, physically and emotionally I've changed a lot, but his love has been constant.
My husband is step father to my daughters and we've been planning how he will convey my wishes at certain points in their lives that I'm unlikely to be around for. I'm thankful that we have him in our lives and that I can trust him to stand by them when I'm gone.
My husband is step father to my daughters and we've been planning how he will convey my wishes at certain points in their lives that I'm unlikely to be around for. I'm thankful that we have him in our lives and that I can trust him to stand by them when I'm gone.
Sorry to hear, and pleased your lovely husband is being so brilliant.5 year relationship, getting married next year. Very new relationship compared to some.
Being honest with each other seems to do the trick, both in what were thinking and how we present ourselves to each other.
If I was playing the part of perfect boyfriend I could only keep that up so long. I'd say we've always given each other the truest versions of ourselves, imperfections and all, so there's no snapping of frustrations or "you've changed!". The side benefit being it takes a lot less effort than a constant lie of perfection!
We also try not to go to bed angry, but she's better at that than I am.
Being honest with each other seems to do the trick, both in what were thinking and how we present ourselves to each other.
If I was playing the part of perfect boyfriend I could only keep that up so long. I'd say we've always given each other the truest versions of ourselves, imperfections and all, so there's no snapping of frustrations or "you've changed!". The side benefit being it takes a lot less effort than a constant lie of perfection!
We also try not to go to bed angry, but she's better at that than I am.
Tumbler said:
This year has been tough for us, my mum passed away which has seen a challenge to her Will which includes some horrific allegations, I've been diagnosed with a rare, aggressive incurable cancer, this has resulted in us having some conversations we never expected to have. He has been a rock through my surgery and chemo, physically and emotionally I've changed a lot, but his love has been constant.
My husband is step father to my daughters and we've been planning how he will convey my wishes at certain points in their lives that I'm unlikely to be around for. I'm thankful that we have him in our lives and that I can trust him to stand by them when I'm gone.
Tumbler my thoughts are with you and your family.My husband is step father to my daughters and we've been planning how he will convey my wishes at certain points in their lives that I'm unlikely to be around for. I'm thankful that we have him in our lives and that I can trust him to stand by them when I'm gone.
I have read some of your other posts and was hoping for better news.
You have a solid relationship with your Husband and he has proven to be a man of greatness no question
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