How Solid Really is Your Marriage
Discussion
I tried, again. It didn't go well.
She got really angry with me. Started swearing at me. Stormed off and said 'i'll f
king leave then because that's what you want.'
Told me I can have the house and everything as that is clearly what I want.
This is bullst. I simply cannot talk to her. She gets angry, starts stomping around and throws accusations at me. I'm the problem, apparently.
What can you do when you can't even talk to your wife?
She got really angry with me. Started swearing at me. Stormed off and said 'i'll f
king leave then because that's what you want.'Told me I can have the house and everything as that is clearly what I want.
This is bulls
t. I simply cannot talk to her. She gets angry, starts stomping around and throws accusations at me. I'm the problem, apparently.What can you do when you can't even talk to your wife?
Ari said:
It's not impossible that she wants to leave but she also wants to make it your fault.
Hence the treatment - you're supposed to dump her and then she can forever absolve herself of responsibility.
Vast swathes of human behaviour are motivated by guilt and guilt avoidance. Rarely is it acknowledged.Hence the treatment - you're supposed to dump her and then she can forever absolve herself of responsibility.
A good example (similar to the one above) is the contempt/anger/hatred shown by many ex-wives to their husbands. It's just a way of coping with the guilt.
funkyrobot said:
I tried, again. It didn't go well.
She got really angry with me. Started swearing at me. Stormed off and said 'i'll fking leave then because that's what you want.'
Told me I can have the house and everything as that is clearly what I want.
This is bullst. I simply cannot talk to her. She gets angry, starts stomping around and throws accusations at me. I'm the problem, apparently.
What can you do when you can't even talk to your wife?
You’ve hit a very big crossroads there but if you want to move things along and know where you stand you have to persevere . She got really angry with me. Started swearing at me. Stormed off and said 'i'll f
king leave then because that's what you want.'Told me I can have the house and everything as that is clearly what I want.
This is bulls
t. I simply cannot talk to her. She gets angry, starts stomping around and throws accusations at me. I'm the problem, apparently.What can you do when you can't even talk to your wife?
I’m sute eventually she’ll open up then all will become apparent
FocusRS3 said:
funkyrobot said:
I tried, again. It didn't go well.
She got really angry with me. Started swearing at me. Stormed off and said 'i'll fking leave then because that's what you want.'
Told me I can have the house and everything as that is clearly what I want.
This is bullst. I simply cannot talk to her. She gets angry, starts stomping around and throws accusations at me. I'm the problem, apparently.
What can you do when you can't even talk to your wife?
You’ve hit a very big crossroads there but if you want to move things along and know where you stand you have to persevere . She got really angry with me. Started swearing at me. Stormed off and said 'i'll f
king leave then because that's what you want.'Told me I can have the house and everything as that is clearly what I want.
This is bulls
t. I simply cannot talk to her. She gets angry, starts stomping around and throws accusations at me. I'm the problem, apparently.What can you do when you can't even talk to your wife?
I’m sute eventually she’ll open up then all will become apparent
dmulally said:
How's it all going, buddy?
She’s agreed to me buying her out, and currently at a value that doesn’t leave me penniless.She’s admitted that she has a thing for the person she was chatting to and that they’ve kissed.
She has (in my opinion) only admitted it because she was spotted at a restaurant with him by one of the school mums. He’s married also.
I’m still not sleeping but the constant feeling of an impending heart attack has diminished.
Symptomless Coma said:
She’s agreed to me buying her out, and currently at a value that doesn’t leave me penniless.
She’s admitted that she has a thing for the person she was chatting to and that they’ve kissed.
She has (in my opinion) only admitted it because she was spotted at a restaurant with him by one of the school mums. He’s married also.
I’m still not sleeping but the constant feeling of an impending heart attack has diminished.
Ok well at least you have gotten to the bottom of it.She’s admitted that she has a thing for the person she was chatting to and that they’ve kissed.
She has (in my opinion) only admitted it because she was spotted at a restaurant with him by one of the school mums. He’s married also.
I’m still not sleeping but the constant feeling of an impending heart attack has diminished.
So who will have custody of the kids?
Symptomless Coma said:
She’s agreed to me buying her out, and currently at a value that doesn’t leave me penniless.
Personally I would have pushed for selling the house. But if this works for you and is fair? get it done ASAP whilst she is in honeymoon period with new guy. Get the deal written and signed. Make sure it is checked by a lawyer and full and final so she can't come back later for a change.Symptomless Coma said:
I’m still not sleeping but the constant feeling of an impending heart attack has diminished.
Focus on eating well and exercising. Go for long runs or join gym.Edited by hyphen on Monday 19th February 09:15
FocusRS3 said:
So who will have custody of the kids?
They’re with me currently, then it’s 50:50 when she buys a house.I’m pushing to get everything sorted asap, she was dragging her feet but now interest rates are looking to go up she wants it sorted quickly too.
She is now restricted because I have to close out our joint mortgage before she can even start.
I just don’t have the time for the gym, looking after two young children and a full time job doesn’t leave much ‘free’ time.
Symptomless Coma said:
They’re with me currently, then it’s 50:50 when she buys a house.
I’m pushing to get everything sorted asap, she was dragging her feet but now interest rates are looking to go up she wants it sorted quickly too.
She is now restricted because I have to close out our joint mortgage before she can even start.
I just don’t have the time for the gym, looking after two young children and a full time job doesn’t leave much ‘free’ time.
Least you know its moving along and soon enough you'll have a new set up. Always better to know where you stand rather than being totally in limbo as you were previously.I’m pushing to get everything sorted asap, she was dragging her feet but now interest rates are looking to go up she wants it sorted quickly too.
She is now restricted because I have to close out our joint mortgage before she can even start.
I just don’t have the time for the gym, looking after two young children and a full time job doesn’t leave much ‘free’ time.
Hope it all works out for you
Symptomless Coma said:
Cheers, I’m sure in a years time I’ll be in a better position. I must admit that the last few years have been tough and have felt like I have been a single parent due to my (ex)wife’s tiredness.
Once you have sorted the living arrangements and the kids are settled into a routine then focus on yourself for a while.Maybe get out there on the dating scene again
Less mental that way. ATB for the future anyway.desolate said:
Bobberoo99 said:
In the main I agree, however she needs to be willing to listen/communicate, if she isn't willing then insist she sits down and hears you out, without throwing a paddy!!
It sounds like he's tried.Why don't you leave her?
We have made some progress. She is depressed. Its mainly stuff she can change though, so we talked over some things and it felt like we achieved something.
I have some points to work on and will do so immediately. I have also told her she has my full support. I have been through the mental health grinder too so know what she is going through.
We are taking it one step at a time and seeing how it goes. I can't get overly happy and say everything is fixed yet as this isn't a quick fix.
Thanks to all for the advice.
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