Club Racing in a Barge and other Stupid Decisions
Discussion
Edited to cut out boring drivel- full story below for those with enough time on their hands!
Evening all, and apologies for the immense data dump that is going to follow. I figured that I would start this thread as I now have three project cars on the go, each of which has it's own breed of following on PH and is probably deserving of a 'Readers Cars' entry, but updating various threads at once would probably grow tiring and be an atrocious waste of webspace (as I'm absolutely not competent and most things I write about will probably be trivial). I also realised that in truth (nearly) every car I've owned has had some interesting history or story behind it, so I may as well bring those stories forward. The finishing touch to a Readers Cars entry to me is context; it's well and good knowing that something exists, and that someone cherishes it in a certain way, but it's not quite complete without knowing why.
So, some context. Well, my name is Mike, I'm 22, and I love cars. As a kid I dreamt about owning a Dodge Viper, Lotus Esprit or TVR Cerbera; I also thought that the Ford Scorpio was the coolest looking thing on four wheels (true story). I was absolutely convinced that I was going to be a Formula One driver, and took up karting as soon as I could reach the pedals- it started at my local karting track, in an old hangar in Wroughton airfield. I went a few times to practice and then started the junior championship. I finished 5th in my first year before missing out on the title by a point the next year, and I was absolutely hooked. I started doing the junior championship at Castle Combe, which was bigger and better attended- meetings usually comprised of 30+ drivers, sometimes in excess of 40. I campaigned in that for several years, gradually climbing the order until I won the title in my last year of eligibility at the age of 15.
Yes, as a teenager I actually thought that hairstyle was cool. Of course these junior series' were meant as stepping stones onto bigger and better things, and as time went on couldn't help but notice disappearances from the grid who were moving on to race cars or 'big boy' karting. Inevitably it was those who had rich or committed parents who moved on, and I was never in a situation to do so. I was given a free ARKS test by Drivetech for winning the junior championship, and I managed to beg, borrow and steal occasional drives in Rotax or TKM karts whenever the opportunity presented itself, but it went no further. I was a kid, and my parents didn't have the time or money for me to do a season of full racing.
Once I was too old to carry on with the Junior series', I left motorsport entirely. I'd seen too many people move on who had little talent but a lot of money, and truthfully I was embittered. Some of the drivers who I raced with in the Juniors are still racing today at a very competitive level, and it always brings a wry smile to turn on MotorsTV and see a name that I recognise as somebody who couldn't keep up with me if I had three wheels and a misfire, back in the day of course. But such is the way in motorsport, and I imagine it always will be. I still keep in touch with a lot of guys from karting, and some of them genuinely are the most talented drivers I'll ever have the good fortune to meet; capable of beating me, you, or pretty much anyone else round any circuit behind the wheel of just about anything. Now they're shop assistants, delivery drivers- one is an accountant. We still meet up occasionally and pay a pittance to rag some ropey four strokes around, and that's probably my greatest legacy from trying to 'make it' in motorsport; a great circle of very close friends. As for the rest of my 'legacy', that went in the loft ne'er to be seen again.
Once I'd realised that I wasn't actually going to be a Formula One driver, it was back to normality. I actually made a late start to driving, due to moving away when I was 17 to do an apprenticeship with Network Rail. I spent 9 months training in Portsmouth where I had no need to learn to drive, despite fervently wanting to. Doing the apprenticeship was the best decision of my life; I went from a demotivated immature kid doodling pictures of cars in the back of notebooks, to a fully qualified Overhead Line engineer, with no shortage of hard work in between. Once I'd returned home from the apprenticeship, I took a crash course of driving lessons and passed my test first time, 2 minors. This is when we get on to the real subject of this thread; cars...
The start- Peugeot 206, October 2013 - May 2014
My first car was shared between me and my sister, and it was a truly god-awful 1.1 Pug 206. The car had belonged to my grandparents and been passed through the family, given no shortage of hard time. It had close to 90k miles when I started driving it, none of them easy. The interior trim was falling off, it was consuming a coil pack every few months, and was generally a hateful POS. But of course I adored it, it was characterful, plucky, *insert s
tty first car stereotype here*. My commute was 70 miles of A road and motorway, and my best mate lived in North Walsham in deepest darkest Norfolk, so I regularly was taking it well out of it's depth. Like a lot of old small cars it seemed to be driven by some mystical force well beyond fuel and combustion, and if I show half the fighting spirit during the course of my life as that car I'll be a hero. On one eventful trip up into Norfolk it managed to consume an entire bottle of coolant within an hour before overheating spectacularly in Northampton. I ran into the services and bought a few bottles of water, in they went and off we shot again. Did it make it? Of course! I was put on training in Walsall for a couple of weeks and covered 400 miles, and on the way home I had just about got it into the drive when- *CLANG* - the entire exhaust assembly fell off, from downpipe to backbox. 10 yards from my front door. I'm sure many more misadventures would have been had, but unfortunately in May 2014 I was subject to my first- and so far only- car accident, when I was rear-ended on the way home from work. The poor Pug was twisted up like a pretzel, RIP. Below it's at it's most useful, as a leaning post for a faster, more valuable and more comfortable alternative.
Brand new! - Ford Fiesta, June 2014 - December 2016
Okay, 206 and Fiesta, so far it's not exactly a thrill ride, but bear with. I was only 18 when I'd had my accident, and a combination of the shock factor, the increased insurance (no it wasn't my fault, but insurance companies are bds) and my annual mileage, caused my parents to bring down the tirade of sensibleness. Knowing that I wasn't to be trusted with free reign to buy a car, they decreed that I must have something new, safe, and reliable (boring, boring, boring)- else I would be banished from the family with immediate effect. I was very fortunate in that they said they would cover half the costs for a newer car, on the condition that the car would belong to them if and when I bought something else. Collectively we'd all been really impressed with the new Fiesta that the insurance company had given me as a hire car and decided that it was pretty much perfect. As a penniless apprentice I couldn't stretch to half the cost of a new one, but I was able to find enough to get into this- up for sale for £7k, being a 2012 it was the last of the pre-facelift models, and with 12k miles on it, for me it really was brand new.
What followed was 40,000 miles of dull, boring efficiency and reliability. Not that I'm knocking the Fiesta, it was a truly superb car and saw me through some of the most memorable years of my life, and I really did develop a strong affinity for it. But being such a good car, also means that it's provided little in the way of anecdotes or PH-worthy memories. What I can say for it is that the hype around the chassis on Ford's small cars is absolutely justified- it was eminently chuckable, with grip for days, little in the way of body roll, and proper genuine steering feedback. It was comfortable, fun to drive, but sadly with a little 1.25 litre engine it was really found wanting for power on big open A roads. Looked wikked wit dem alloys wot I put on it doe innit.
The shortage of horsepower was to be remedied though....
Enter the beast- TVR Chimaera, August 2016 - present
I always knew I'd own a TVR. It was a fact, like saying that the sky is blue, or that Porsches are for girls and balding middle aged men. I've been totally in love with the brand ever since I was a kid and Jeremy Clarkson proved, absolutely without question, that even a standard 4.2 Cerbera was faster than anything else on four wheels. *ahem*, without question.... What I didn't know was that I would be buying into the brand at the age of 20 with absolutely no specific knowledge, and very little general knowledge, to go on. I'd set out to buy a sports car with a largely open mind; it had to be RWD, light and fun. I didn't know if I was going to buy it as a second car or drive it daily, that largely depended on what I bought. I hadn't even considered a TVR- I'd always kept an eye on the market, but that was for later in life, when I was older and had more money. At the time the standard fare to buy a Chimaera and drive it away without having a lot of work to do was upwards of £10k, approaching £15k. I ended up landing mine for £6500. Was I an opportunist? A keen-eyed bargain hunter with an ear to the ground and a finger on the beating pulse of the market? No, I was a fking idiot. The car came up for sale close by, and I went to have a look purely for the sake of it. It would be a reference point for later in life when I was buying for real, I told myself. The reference it gave me was that any other car in the country would be in a better state than this. The interior was in pieces, the chassis rotten, it had a stonking great carburettor on it for some reason. But once that big V8 grumbled into life my blood went cold. I had to have it. And I did. I've written plenty on here about the TVR, including a thread I started a year ago covering most of the work it's needed- that's linked to in my profile if you want to read further about it, I won't waste the bandwidth here as there is a lot of material...
One thing I can say is that it's been a learning experience. I pledged to myself that as far as reasonably possible, I would work on the car myself and so far that's rung true. It's been slow, painful going, but I can happily look at the car now and say that it's a far better machine than it was 18 months ago. I'm still cack-handed and clueless as far as spannering goes, but I can confidently say that I will size up jobs that I would previously have said 'no chance' to, and throw myself into them. As it turned out the experience wouldn't just be valuable for the TVR..! The most positive thing about buying a rubbish Chimaera though, was that I was able to take it on track.
Apart from the odd race in the old four stroke karts back at Castle Combe or Swindon Karting, I'd left motorsport well alone for years. I had maybe half an hours worth of experience driving cars on circuits, and the idea of taking the TVR on track really reignited that fire that I'd had when I was younger; it got me excited again. However, I made a big mistake in booking my first track day at Castle Combe. I hadn't reached the edge of the envelope driving the car before, and with no idea of how it handled on the limit (and it's fearsome reputation for being a bit murdery) in my mind it was still the 'big bad TVR', and quite frankly around Combe, which is definitely big and bad, I was stting bricks! The imposing barriers and question marks over the handling of the car meant that I never got outside of my comfort zone. I had a fantastic day, but ultimately learnt very little about how to really push on a circuit. I also met some great people, which as it turn out would come in handy for mid-session when the water pump belt let go.. An unceremonious moment captured on camera.
That's one of the best things about TVR, the sense of community. I've met some fantastic people and made some good friends since owning my car, kudos to each and every one of you.
Last month, I had another go at a track day in the TVR, and this time I got it right- I went to Abingdon, a nice open airfield track, and the lack of solid objects to crash into felt like absolute freedom. I pushed the car as hard as it would go, and I learnt how docile the car is on the limit. It's a big pussycat! It handled superbly, and has really inspired me to do more track days and become a better driver. First step is track tyres, which will be coming soon. Then it's more airfield days, Abingdon and Lyneham, until it becomes second nature and I can face up to bona fide circuits with confidence to push hard. If I can get on top of the car, the idea of taking the TVR around Combe, which is an immense track, at ten tenths is pure ecstasy.
In terms of long term plans for the car, I'd love to eventually do a body-off restoration. Retrim the interior, replace all the electrics, rebuild the engine, apply a long and extensive mod list, and turn it into a proper road car. I see a lot of potential for the car to be a glorious grand tourer, something to tackle all roads and all journeys with a massive grin factor. Currently all work I do to it is outside in the elements, with no lift, a small amount of tools, and little in the way of time to take on larger tasks. One day I hope to have a garage large enough to turn into a workshop within which I can complete such a restoration in my own time and with proper tools. For now, it's difficult to make much progress, and where the car is at it's better suited to being a track car. This isn't exactly an interior to cross Europe in...
That's part of the long-term plan, to turn this tired old beast into a TVR to be proud of, with a cosy garage to call home. But why would I want to stop taking the TVR on track days? Well, because that plan involves buying a race car of course... But hopefully you'll be hearing more about that further into this thread!
This is where real credit goes to the humble Fiesta, because amongst all the tumultuous ups and downs of TVR ownership my daily driver was a sedate and sensible steed which I could always rely on not to put a foot wrong. That all changed the day my workmate came blasting into the office and declared, 'My st old car is broken, does anyone want to buy it?'
Bangernomics- Volkswagen Golf GTI, December 2016 - December 2017
'You tt, you've stuck a GTI badge on it'
'It is a GTI!'
'By what measure of mankind is that a GTI?'
'Got a tartan interior'
'Has it? Are the windows meant to be opaque?'
'Oh yeah, umm, it's got a small leak'
A small leak that I discovered on the way home when I hit the brakes and a torrent of fetid water poured from the sunroof panel down the back of my shirt. I'd just left my mate's house £50 lighter having jump started the long-dead Golf into life, and I was already wondering what the hell I was doing. Selecting gears was a two-man operation, the level of steering input required to keep the car straight was varying wildly from 45 through 90 degrees clockwise, and the whole car pitched wildly if I had the audacity to attempt a braking or steering input.
So this was my new daily driver. Despite it's faults, I was feeling rather pleased with myself. Here I was, in a working driving car, for £50 and a jump start. My smugness lasted all of a day, when I set out the next morning with the intention of driving it to work and it was completely dead. I figured that the battery must be knackered, so I jump started it again and let it run for a while to clear the plentiful condensation, then headed off. I must have made it all of 100 yards before the entire car died and I coasted to an embarrassing stop- no juice even to put the hazards on as I pushed it back home. It turned out that the alternator was knackered, which should have been a simple enough job- order part from breakers, lovely and cheap, fit it, 20 minute job. It wasn't. The auxiliary belt tensioner was locked completely solid and it took a spanner, breaker bar and two grown men jumping up and down until they were red in the face before we were able to release the belt. Once we got the job done the car was finally able to sustain itself for more than 20 minutes- but it did beg the question, of how the hell did I manage to get it the 35 miles home the day I bought it? I can only assume that the car had run out of electricity after a few miles and was running on only that very same mystical banger force that my old Peugeot was blessed with. Once the car was running I handed the Fiesta over to my sister who was car-less after having an accident, and the below picture (taken when she came home to pick it up, by this point the Fiesta hadn't moved for 3 months) is quite poignant to me- one of the bangiest bangers ever to exist giving the kiss of life to the car which had been integral to my life for so long.
I have to confess to growing very fond of the Golf, as were my shift team who I gave lifts into work. It had a hilarious combination of faults; a broken glovebox latch which meant it could only be opened or closed by reaching into the aperture and fumbling around for the remains of the lever in much the same manner as a man usually fumbles around blindly whilst attempting to please a ladyfriend, an interior dome light which would work perfectly one day and then the next would refuse to show any signs of life until the left indicator was turned on, or the offside rear window was fully lowered, at which point it would burst into brilliance and refuse to be turned off. Probably the most noticeable defect was the exhaust which had been battered into the floorpan of the car, causing an intolerable amount of noise and vibration. From within the car, cold starts were significantly louder than the TVR. Once running, the car would revert to be being refined and normal, until a speed of precisely 66mph was reached, at which point the entire centre console would start to vibrate and the radio head unit would gradually disappear into the dashboard- not that it mattered, as any music was drowned out by the most incredible droning noise which I estimate to have been in excess of 200 decibels. It was a hilarious and infectious car, capable of reducing even the most stony faced passengers to stitches, and it earned the moniker 'The Battlebox'.
Somehow this car just kept on going. I gave it a minute amount of attention and mechanical sympathy (although I did go to the lengths of servicing it with Halfords finest collection of oils and lubricants), and in effect I was just waiting for it to die so that I could move onto a proper car and turn the whole saga into something I could look back on and laugh, but it stubbornly refused. It became king of the local tip run, the capacity of the trailer second to the amount of st that I managed to fit in the cabin, it proved itself capable of performing handbrake turns that would make Russ Swift weep, and most importantly it was team transport and my home for 24 hours (due to an airbed that didn't hold air..) during the Daytona Milton Keynes 24 hour karting event.
In truth, although I should have enjoyed and gone to efforts to prolong my £50 motoring experience, I never stopped shopping around for cars. Owning this car was purely a matter of circumstance, an opportunity I couldn't pass up. I didn't want it. The fuel consumption was grating on my commute, and when due to a change in location it became mostly motorway miles, the novelty of the daily deafening soon wore thin. I could have bought some parts and spent some time fixing the faults, but I would be left with a car that I didn't want to be driving anyway, except now the endearing factors would all be gone- it just wasn't worth it. I was waiting for an excuse, and the car gave me one on a rainy day in Swansea. My girlfriend had moved there for university, and the Battlebox had done a decent job of carting me up and down the M4, when one day whilst pottering around the Gower the low coolant light came on. I was pretty well used to this as the Golf had mystery disappearing coolant syndrome, so I figured I would just pull over at some point and fill it up. It was when we saw the first wisps of steam that we knew it was a bit worse than that... One of the coolant union joints had sprung a leak, right at the back of the engine bay by the firewall- in the least accessible place. When I attempted to get the hose clips off, to get the joint out so that I could attempt a temporary fix and get a part number, the entire assembly shattered. Train home for me then.
I managed to arrange to get to Swansea and get the car home a couple of days later, and it almost brought a tear to my eye to see it sat in the car park forlornly, untouched and abandoned in the same spot. I managed to get hold of the right part for it, and fitted it in situ, which whilst awkward was rewarded with an uneventful journey home. I couldn't shake the memory of how easily that coolant joint had shattered though, and it struck me with paranoia- for all I knew, all of the auxiliary components in the car were the same age and feeling just as brittle. Did I really want to be spending the time doing this for the sake of keeping such a st car going? It wasn't for me. I started going to look at cars for sale with a genuine intent on buying, and last month I won an ebay auction which rung the death knell for my Battlebox experience. I spent some time cleaning the car up, really lavished some proper attention on it, before putting it on a facebook 'for sale' page to get shot quickly. I got a message from someone who said they could be round in 10 minutes, and they did a bank transfer there and then for £350, insured and taxed the car on their phone and drove it away. I didn't anticipate how upset I would be to see the car go, and when I surveyed it for the last time in all it's magnificence, positively beaming having had it's first TLC for years, it looked a million quid.
That was my first experience of selling a car, and it went remarkably smoothly. The bloke turned up straight away, paid the full price and it was gone.
Premium shedding- Alfa Romeo GT, December 2017 - present
I knew I had to own something at least moderately interesting. There are so many cars that as a kid I thought were awesome, that are available for absolute pennies- just look at the price you pay now for a mk1 Audi TT, Mazda RX-8, or Mitsubishi GTO. Cars that wouldn't have looked out of place on my bedroom wall fifteen years ago, all available for less money than my first insurance premium. There was really no excuse for me not to buy something cool. In fact I was dangerously close to taking home a mk2 MR-2 at one point when I realised- I've got a TVR for having fun with and whatever I buy now is going to have to soak up hundreds of miles a week, and be my main transporter of people and luggage. It was really no place for a mid-engined 2-seater. I was looking at Alfa GTVs when I discovered that the 1.9 diesel lump had found it's place in the GT, and it seemed to be a compelling prospect.
I went to look at a few GTs at dealers, and the condition and price varied hugely. Depending what I found I was either going to go full shed mode for ~£1k or if something more expensive jumped out at me I was open to the car being a keeper. They all had a few things in common though- gorgeous interiors, room for 5 and a capacious boot. It was ticking all the practicality boxes but with just enough lovely styling and Italian flair to qualify for the 'want' factor. The GT actually never jumped out at me when they were new, I didn't even find them particularly good looking, but the design has aged really well and they look better now than ever IMO. I was browsing eBay when I noticed one, with a massive pile of history and receipts, 109k miles, and a good spec, in an auction which hadn't even surpassed £1000- and a day to go! I didn't have time to go and see it, and that should have told me not to bother, but with blind optimism and blissful stupidity I decided to throw my hat in the ring for this absolute unknown quantity.
The next day was a myriad of frantic phone calls and no small anxiety. I don't actually have an eBay account, and barely understand how the system works, so I'd placed my faith in a mate who was bidding on my behalf. Come the end of the auction, the car sold for £1550- to someone. I could almost hear the guilt in my mate's voice when he rang me and declared, 'It's yours. And the seller wants it picked up within 48 hours. From Loughborough.' fk. I was working solidly that week, the car was located nowhere near any bus or train station, and Loughborough suddenly seemed so very far away. A short grovel later and I managed to arrange a lift from a very cynical stepfather, and the next day I conveniently woke up with a terrible illness. Once we got there, the 'dealer' delighted in taking me for a short blast up and down the road where he attempted to prove to me how fast the Alfa was, changing gear with more speed than any sequential gearbox ever dreamt of, and buzzing the redline in every gear. He was a nice enough bloke though, and to his credit he'd kept together an impeccable history file, with recent receipts for new turbo, master cylinder, wishbones and various other things. Bar a broken door handle the car was also absolutely pristine, and inside and out it was as clean as the day it left the factory. I'd like to think that I would have snapped his hand off for £1550, regardless of the fact that technically I'd already bought it the previous day.
I'm now a month in with my eBay mystery buy, and to be honest I'm waiting for the fall as it has exceeded my expectations in absolutely every way. Within it's 900 miles covered so far it's undertaken a trip to Swansea and also to Birmingham and back for the Autosport show, and it's been brilliant. Sink into the leather, set the cruise control, and arrive at your destination no worse for wear. I have to confess that it feels so tight and drives and behaves so well that I've not yet even got underneath it to fully inspect it- I know, shame on me. Everything on the car works as it should, which of course isn't right, so I decided to have a go at breaking something.
Unfortunately the Alfa fell short of my requirements in only one department- music. I have a huge collection of music on my phone which is a mandatory requirement to making mundane driving that bit more tolerable, and although the Alfa stereo had a half-decent radio and accepted CDs, this was not enough. So it was time for the Sony USB/Bluetooth head unit that has found it's place in every car I've ever owned, bar the Fiesta which already had a USB input and the TVR which makes its own music. This head unit with adapter has been a plug-and-play job for every car before, so lazily I pulled out the standard Blaupunkt unit and plugged in the Sony, expecting to be met by the sweet tones of The Fratellis, Pink Floyd and an embarrassingly large amount of Slade. It was not so. Closer inspection revealed that- shock horror- the head unit wiring for the GT was completely different from the usual ISO harness, and I'd have to cut, splice and crimp if I wanted Noddy Holder to appear through my speakers. Apparently I'm qualified as a sparky, but my single biggest fear in life is electronics on cars. They terrify me- I don't know why, but something about tearing open a dashboard and unleashing wire cutters underneath turns me into a gibbering mess. Tentatively I drew up a wiring diagram and forced myself to make the first cut into the Alfa's harness, the point of no return after which the job would have to be completed. I delicately stole a 12V feed from the cigarette lighter, and modified the harness in such a way that it would also accommodate inputs from the steering wheel controls, and miraculously it all worked!
The look was completed with a single-DIN fascia adapter to suit the console, and now the Sony head unit looks quite at home in there- I wouldn't be without it. So far that's about the only bodgery I've done on the GT, although I'm sure that will all change so watch this space to see more gormless moron struggling to complete simple tasks. All in all, I'm delighted with the GT and I think I chose the perfect car for my requirements. It'll do 60mpg on a cruise, is supremely comfortable and surprisingly spacious, and the handling is really rather sharp. My only complaint so far is a heavy clutch, but I do so little town driving that it hasn't particularly bothered me. Updates to come I'm sure!
Other stuff- 1976 VW bay window camper, June 2017 - present
My stepdad had a funny turn last year and decided that the thing we all needed in our lives was a T2 VW Camper. I'd recently moved into an annexe next to my parents after renting my house out, and he bought it with a view to us completing a restoration together- for the benefit largely of my little brother, who at the age of 16 is a better spanner monkey than I'll ever be. None of us knew much about T2s, other than we'd buy a bay window one as split screens were commanding big money. The van we ended up with came from Newport, and from the most genuine seller you could ever hope to meet. It had been in his family since the 80s but he was parting ways with it because he wasn't able to use it much and wanted it to be enjoyed rather than sat in his lockup. When he invited us into his house to sort the paperwork we were greeted with a VW camper doormat and pictures lining the walls of him on holiday in the van- it really was heart-wrenching. We bought the van on the promise that we'd keep in touch, and entered a different world of motoring than we'd ever experienced before.
The engine is the 1600cc single-carb variant, and although they're accused of being slow, once we'd set to and replaced the carb, dizzy, leads, plugs, filters and fluids, it was easily capable of a heady 55mph. We had intended to carry out a coolant flush, but we couldn't find the filler cap.. The driving experience on this old thing is something else. Getting it into gear has been described in a variety of ways ranging from 'fishing with a 100ft rod' to 'throwing a dart through the eye of a needle'. One thing it does better than anything else though is fun- something about it, when you're bouncing along on the oh-so-70s brown leather seats, makes you smile. I've never understood the hype around them, to be honest I still don't, but in a short space of time 'Bessie' has firmly entrenched herself into the family. Even the dog found her favourite spot.
We decided to enjoy the van for a while before setting to on any serious or structural work, and the first adventure I enjoyed was a small festival in Oxfordshire called Truck festival which I went to with the missus. The interior of the van can be reassembled into a crude rock-and-roll bed which turned out to be huge and comfy (there are also two hammocks in the pop-top roof but they're rather the opposite), although there isn't a leisure battery there is a 240V circuit which powers lights and sockets, a sink with working tap, and a gas hob with the bottle in the engine bay, although we may need to relocate this! With these features we were rather well set and enjoying ourselves, especially when the rain came and we were tucked up inside watching the tent-goers drown. That is, until... drip... drip... drip... Yep, we had a leak! Tactical deployment of plastic cups would see us through the worst of it.
Or so we thought... The SUMMER festival turned out to be a complete washout! The rain hardly relinquished all weekend and I spent a large majority of my time making trips backwards and forwards from the site to the camper to empty out what water had accumulated. What a grim weekend! But the festival was fantastic, I'd highly recommend it. And for the 5 minutes that the weather played ball, the van was stellar as a drying rack!
After the festival we headed straight off to Pembroke for a few days, where we got luckier with the weather. And regardless of any races I've won, any lap records I've set, no matter how many trophies I might accumulate from racing, I will always maintain until the day I die that my single greatest motoring achievement was only having to drop to 3rd once to climb the hills in Wales.
We concluded from the leakiness that the roof probably needed re-guttering, so that was added to a long job list which will keep us busy for many years to come. We took advantage of the summer to build a carport as storage and a bit of shelter when working on the cars... As god knows I'll never be short of work to do with these two around!
The next adventure planned for the camper is in May, when the Wisemen will be heading to the Daytona 24 hours for the second time. This year Bessie is going to be the official Wisemen-wagon, and by god it's going to be a lot more comfortable than last year- I can't wait! I know that a few on here are serious about karting, and I've seen Daytona mentioned before. If anybody is going along this year keep an eye out for us! Last year we went as the 8 Wisemen, and failed spectacularly at being competitive. It was a shame as 3 drivers amongst us were putting in mid-1:09s in the Sodis, which anyone who's been there may interpret as not being too shabby- but we hadn't assembled the team with a view to being fast, it was just a group of mates. This year we're going to make more of it, with two teams of Wisemen- it's still all mates, but split down the middle with the fastest drivers in one team and rearing to go! We'll still be competing in the Sodis though, because DMAX is taken a little too seriously- last year we all got pissed and then pounded round a track for 24 hours straight, meanwhile in DMAX world there were strategy meetings, penalties, breakdowns, even genuine tears! It's not for us, we're all a bunch of clowns. But fast ones! See you there.
Other stuff- ???
On a recent mission to acquire a car trailer, I was put in touch with an old family friend who apparently had one sitting around. It turns out that he used to race a Peugeot 306 in saloons championships across the country, though he'd never mentioned it and you wouldn't suspect it to look at him. I took to him remarkably quickly! The car trailer in question was hidden at the bottom of his garden under 3 years worth of undergrowth and nasty brambles and was rather lengthy to extricate. Once the foliage was partly cleared though, I could make out a familiar shape underneath a tarpaulin behind the trailer. The car was bought by him for his son to pass his driving test, and after a few years use had been taken apart to be modified. Like many of these projects, though, it hadn't seen completion and had been sat underneath this tarpaulin for nearly 6 years. He suggested to me that I should have a go at putting it all back together and getting it working again. Only the shell sits under the tarp with some components in the garage, though I'm not sure how much there is- or isn't. Personally I think it would make a great basis for a race car, if all the missing parts were replaced with better ones. I am spectacularly inept though, and I've got enough going on to keep me busy as it is, so I'm not sure whether to take it on. If and when I do, I'll be sure to post updates in this thread.
Watch this space...
Sorry for such a long post, updates I add will be far more succinct. Inevitably a TL;DR will be handy for some (most)-
TL;DR- short bloke does some stuff in mostly st cars
Evening all, and apologies for the immense data dump that is going to follow. I figured that I would start this thread as I now have three project cars on the go, each of which has it's own breed of following on PH and is probably deserving of a 'Readers Cars' entry, but updating various threads at once would probably grow tiring and be an atrocious waste of webspace (as I'm absolutely not competent and most things I write about will probably be trivial). I also realised that in truth (nearly) every car I've owned has had some interesting history or story behind it, so I may as well bring those stories forward. The finishing touch to a Readers Cars entry to me is context; it's well and good knowing that something exists, and that someone cherishes it in a certain way, but it's not quite complete without knowing why.
So, some context. Well, my name is Mike, I'm 22, and I love cars. As a kid I dreamt about owning a Dodge Viper, Lotus Esprit or TVR Cerbera; I also thought that the Ford Scorpio was the coolest looking thing on four wheels (true story). I was absolutely convinced that I was going to be a Formula One driver, and took up karting as soon as I could reach the pedals- it started at my local karting track, in an old hangar in Wroughton airfield. I went a few times to practice and then started the junior championship. I finished 5th in my first year before missing out on the title by a point the next year, and I was absolutely hooked. I started doing the junior championship at Castle Combe, which was bigger and better attended- meetings usually comprised of 30+ drivers, sometimes in excess of 40. I campaigned in that for several years, gradually climbing the order until I won the title in my last year of eligibility at the age of 15.
Yes, as a teenager I actually thought that hairstyle was cool. Of course these junior series' were meant as stepping stones onto bigger and better things, and as time went on couldn't help but notice disappearances from the grid who were moving on to race cars or 'big boy' karting. Inevitably it was those who had rich or committed parents who moved on, and I was never in a situation to do so. I was given a free ARKS test by Drivetech for winning the junior championship, and I managed to beg, borrow and steal occasional drives in Rotax or TKM karts whenever the opportunity presented itself, but it went no further. I was a kid, and my parents didn't have the time or money for me to do a season of full racing.
Once I was too old to carry on with the Junior series', I left motorsport entirely. I'd seen too many people move on who had little talent but a lot of money, and truthfully I was embittered. Some of the drivers who I raced with in the Juniors are still racing today at a very competitive level, and it always brings a wry smile to turn on MotorsTV and see a name that I recognise as somebody who couldn't keep up with me if I had three wheels and a misfire, back in the day of course. But such is the way in motorsport, and I imagine it always will be. I still keep in touch with a lot of guys from karting, and some of them genuinely are the most talented drivers I'll ever have the good fortune to meet; capable of beating me, you, or pretty much anyone else round any circuit behind the wheel of just about anything. Now they're shop assistants, delivery drivers- one is an accountant. We still meet up occasionally and pay a pittance to rag some ropey four strokes around, and that's probably my greatest legacy from trying to 'make it' in motorsport; a great circle of very close friends. As for the rest of my 'legacy', that went in the loft ne'er to be seen again.
Once I'd realised that I wasn't actually going to be a Formula One driver, it was back to normality. I actually made a late start to driving, due to moving away when I was 17 to do an apprenticeship with Network Rail. I spent 9 months training in Portsmouth where I had no need to learn to drive, despite fervently wanting to. Doing the apprenticeship was the best decision of my life; I went from a demotivated immature kid doodling pictures of cars in the back of notebooks, to a fully qualified Overhead Line engineer, with no shortage of hard work in between. Once I'd returned home from the apprenticeship, I took a crash course of driving lessons and passed my test first time, 2 minors. This is when we get on to the real subject of this thread; cars...
The start- Peugeot 206, October 2013 - May 2014
My first car was shared between me and my sister, and it was a truly god-awful 1.1 Pug 206. The car had belonged to my grandparents and been passed through the family, given no shortage of hard time. It had close to 90k miles when I started driving it, none of them easy. The interior trim was falling off, it was consuming a coil pack every few months, and was generally a hateful POS. But of course I adored it, it was characterful, plucky, *insert s
tty first car stereotype here*. My commute was 70 miles of A road and motorway, and my best mate lived in North Walsham in deepest darkest Norfolk, so I regularly was taking it well out of it's depth. Like a lot of old small cars it seemed to be driven by some mystical force well beyond fuel and combustion, and if I show half the fighting spirit during the course of my life as that car I'll be a hero. On one eventful trip up into Norfolk it managed to consume an entire bottle of coolant within an hour before overheating spectacularly in Northampton. I ran into the services and bought a few bottles of water, in they went and off we shot again. Did it make it? Of course! I was put on training in Walsall for a couple of weeks and covered 400 miles, and on the way home I had just about got it into the drive when- *CLANG* - the entire exhaust assembly fell off, from downpipe to backbox. 10 yards from my front door. I'm sure many more misadventures would have been had, but unfortunately in May 2014 I was subject to my first- and so far only- car accident, when I was rear-ended on the way home from work. The poor Pug was twisted up like a pretzel, RIP. Below it's at it's most useful, as a leaning post for a faster, more valuable and more comfortable alternative.Brand new! - Ford Fiesta, June 2014 - December 2016
Okay, 206 and Fiesta, so far it's not exactly a thrill ride, but bear with. I was only 18 when I'd had my accident, and a combination of the shock factor, the increased insurance (no it wasn't my fault, but insurance companies are b
ds) and my annual mileage, caused my parents to bring down the tirade of sensibleness. Knowing that I wasn't to be trusted with free reign to buy a car, they decreed that I must have something new, safe, and reliable (boring, boring, boring)- else I would be banished from the family with immediate effect. I was very fortunate in that they said they would cover half the costs for a newer car, on the condition that the car would belong to them if and when I bought something else. Collectively we'd all been really impressed with the new Fiesta that the insurance company had given me as a hire car and decided that it was pretty much perfect. As a penniless apprentice I couldn't stretch to half the cost of a new one, but I was able to find enough to get into this- up for sale for £7k, being a 2012 it was the last of the pre-facelift models, and with 12k miles on it, for me it really was brand new.What followed was 40,000 miles of dull, boring efficiency and reliability. Not that I'm knocking the Fiesta, it was a truly superb car and saw me through some of the most memorable years of my life, and I really did develop a strong affinity for it. But being such a good car, also means that it's provided little in the way of anecdotes or PH-worthy memories. What I can say for it is that the hype around the chassis on Ford's small cars is absolutely justified- it was eminently chuckable, with grip for days, little in the way of body roll, and proper genuine steering feedback. It was comfortable, fun to drive, but sadly with a little 1.25 litre engine it was really found wanting for power on big open A roads. Looked wikked wit dem alloys wot I put on it doe innit.
The shortage of horsepower was to be remedied though....
Enter the beast- TVR Chimaera, August 2016 - present
I always knew I'd own a TVR. It was a fact, like saying that the sky is blue, or that Porsches are for girls and balding middle aged men. I've been totally in love with the brand ever since I was a kid and Jeremy Clarkson proved, absolutely without question, that even a standard 4.2 Cerbera was faster than anything else on four wheels. *ahem*, without question.... What I didn't know was that I would be buying into the brand at the age of 20 with absolutely no specific knowledge, and very little general knowledge, to go on. I'd set out to buy a sports car with a largely open mind; it had to be RWD, light and fun. I didn't know if I was going to buy it as a second car or drive it daily, that largely depended on what I bought. I hadn't even considered a TVR- I'd always kept an eye on the market, but that was for later in life, when I was older and had more money. At the time the standard fare to buy a Chimaera and drive it away without having a lot of work to do was upwards of £10k, approaching £15k. I ended up landing mine for £6500. Was I an opportunist? A keen-eyed bargain hunter with an ear to the ground and a finger on the beating pulse of the market? No, I was a f
king idiot. The car came up for sale close by, and I went to have a look purely for the sake of it. It would be a reference point for later in life when I was buying for real, I told myself. The reference it gave me was that any other car in the country would be in a better state than this. The interior was in pieces, the chassis rotten, it had a stonking great carburettor on it for some reason. But once that big V8 grumbled into life my blood went cold. I had to have it. And I did. I've written plenty on here about the TVR, including a thread I started a year ago covering most of the work it's needed- that's linked to in my profile if you want to read further about it, I won't waste the bandwidth here as there is a lot of material...One thing I can say is that it's been a learning experience. I pledged to myself that as far as reasonably possible, I would work on the car myself and so far that's rung true. It's been slow, painful going, but I can happily look at the car now and say that it's a far better machine than it was 18 months ago. I'm still cack-handed and clueless as far as spannering goes, but I can confidently say that I will size up jobs that I would previously have said 'no chance' to, and throw myself into them. As it turned out the experience wouldn't just be valuable for the TVR..! The most positive thing about buying a rubbish Chimaera though, was that I was able to take it on track.
Apart from the odd race in the old four stroke karts back at Castle Combe or Swindon Karting, I'd left motorsport well alone for years. I had maybe half an hours worth of experience driving cars on circuits, and the idea of taking the TVR on track really reignited that fire that I'd had when I was younger; it got me excited again. However, I made a big mistake in booking my first track day at Castle Combe. I hadn't reached the edge of the envelope driving the car before, and with no idea of how it handled on the limit (and it's fearsome reputation for being a bit murdery) in my mind it was still the 'big bad TVR', and quite frankly around Combe, which is definitely big and bad, I was s
tting bricks! The imposing barriers and question marks over the handling of the car meant that I never got outside of my comfort zone. I had a fantastic day, but ultimately learnt very little about how to really push on a circuit. I also met some great people, which as it turn out would come in handy for mid-session when the water pump belt let go.. An unceremonious moment captured on camera.That's one of the best things about TVR, the sense of community. I've met some fantastic people and made some good friends since owning my car, kudos to each and every one of you.
Last month, I had another go at a track day in the TVR, and this time I got it right- I went to Abingdon, a nice open airfield track, and the lack of solid objects to crash into felt like absolute freedom. I pushed the car as hard as it would go, and I learnt how docile the car is on the limit. It's a big pussycat! It handled superbly, and has really inspired me to do more track days and become a better driver. First step is track tyres, which will be coming soon. Then it's more airfield days, Abingdon and Lyneham, until it becomes second nature and I can face up to bona fide circuits with confidence to push hard. If I can get on top of the car, the idea of taking the TVR around Combe, which is an immense track, at ten tenths is pure ecstasy.
In terms of long term plans for the car, I'd love to eventually do a body-off restoration. Retrim the interior, replace all the electrics, rebuild the engine, apply a long and extensive mod list, and turn it into a proper road car. I see a lot of potential for the car to be a glorious grand tourer, something to tackle all roads and all journeys with a massive grin factor. Currently all work I do to it is outside in the elements, with no lift, a small amount of tools, and little in the way of time to take on larger tasks. One day I hope to have a garage large enough to turn into a workshop within which I can complete such a restoration in my own time and with proper tools. For now, it's difficult to make much progress, and where the car is at it's better suited to being a track car. This isn't exactly an interior to cross Europe in...
That's part of the long-term plan, to turn this tired old beast into a TVR to be proud of, with a cosy garage to call home. But why would I want to stop taking the TVR on track days? Well, because that plan involves buying a race car of course... But hopefully you'll be hearing more about that further into this thread!
This is where real credit goes to the humble Fiesta, because amongst all the tumultuous ups and downs of TVR ownership my daily driver was a sedate and sensible steed which I could always rely on not to put a foot wrong. That all changed the day my workmate came blasting into the office and declared, 'My s
t old car is broken, does anyone want to buy it?'Bangernomics- Volkswagen Golf GTI, December 2016 - December 2017
'You t
t, you've stuck a GTI badge on it''It is a GTI!'
'By what measure of mankind is that a GTI?'
'Got a tartan interior'
'Has it? Are the windows meant to be opaque?'
'Oh yeah, umm, it's got a small leak'
A small leak that I discovered on the way home when I hit the brakes and a torrent of fetid water poured from the sunroof panel down the back of my shirt. I'd just left my mate's house £50 lighter having jump started the long-dead Golf into life, and I was already wondering what the hell I was doing. Selecting gears was a two-man operation, the level of steering input required to keep the car straight was varying wildly from 45 through 90 degrees clockwise, and the whole car pitched wildly if I had the audacity to attempt a braking or steering input.
So this was my new daily driver. Despite it's faults, I was feeling rather pleased with myself. Here I was, in a working driving car, for £50 and a jump start. My smugness lasted all of a day, when I set out the next morning with the intention of driving it to work and it was completely dead. I figured that the battery must be knackered, so I jump started it again and let it run for a while to clear the plentiful condensation, then headed off. I must have made it all of 100 yards before the entire car died and I coasted to an embarrassing stop- no juice even to put the hazards on as I pushed it back home. It turned out that the alternator was knackered, which should have been a simple enough job- order part from breakers, lovely and cheap, fit it, 20 minute job. It wasn't. The auxiliary belt tensioner was locked completely solid and it took a spanner, breaker bar and two grown men jumping up and down until they were red in the face before we were able to release the belt. Once we got the job done the car was finally able to sustain itself for more than 20 minutes- but it did beg the question, of how the hell did I manage to get it the 35 miles home the day I bought it? I can only assume that the car had run out of electricity after a few miles and was running on only that very same mystical banger force that my old Peugeot was blessed with. Once the car was running I handed the Fiesta over to my sister who was car-less after having an accident, and the below picture (taken when she came home to pick it up, by this point the Fiesta hadn't moved for 3 months) is quite poignant to me- one of the bangiest bangers ever to exist giving the kiss of life to the car which had been integral to my life for so long.
I have to confess to growing very fond of the Golf, as were my shift team who I gave lifts into work. It had a hilarious combination of faults; a broken glovebox latch which meant it could only be opened or closed by reaching into the aperture and fumbling around for the remains of the lever in much the same manner as a man usually fumbles around blindly whilst attempting to please a ladyfriend, an interior dome light which would work perfectly one day and then the next would refuse to show any signs of life until the left indicator was turned on, or the offside rear window was fully lowered, at which point it would burst into brilliance and refuse to be turned off. Probably the most noticeable defect was the exhaust which had been battered into the floorpan of the car, causing an intolerable amount of noise and vibration. From within the car, cold starts were significantly louder than the TVR. Once running, the car would revert to be being refined and normal, until a speed of precisely 66mph was reached, at which point the entire centre console would start to vibrate and the radio head unit would gradually disappear into the dashboard- not that it mattered, as any music was drowned out by the most incredible droning noise which I estimate to have been in excess of 200 decibels. It was a hilarious and infectious car, capable of reducing even the most stony faced passengers to stitches, and it earned the moniker 'The Battlebox'.
Somehow this car just kept on going. I gave it a minute amount of attention and mechanical sympathy (although I did go to the lengths of servicing it with Halfords finest collection of oils and lubricants), and in effect I was just waiting for it to die so that I could move onto a proper car and turn the whole saga into something I could look back on and laugh, but it stubbornly refused. It became king of the local tip run, the capacity of the trailer second to the amount of s
t that I managed to fit in the cabin, it proved itself capable of performing handbrake turns that would make Russ Swift weep, and most importantly it was team transport and my home for 24 hours (due to an airbed that didn't hold air..) during the Daytona Milton Keynes 24 hour karting event.In truth, although I should have enjoyed and gone to efforts to prolong my £50 motoring experience, I never stopped shopping around for cars. Owning this car was purely a matter of circumstance, an opportunity I couldn't pass up. I didn't want it. The fuel consumption was grating on my commute, and when due to a change in location it became mostly motorway miles, the novelty of the daily deafening soon wore thin. I could have bought some parts and spent some time fixing the faults, but I would be left with a car that I didn't want to be driving anyway, except now the endearing factors would all be gone- it just wasn't worth it. I was waiting for an excuse, and the car gave me one on a rainy day in Swansea. My girlfriend had moved there for university, and the Battlebox had done a decent job of carting me up and down the M4, when one day whilst pottering around the Gower the low coolant light came on. I was pretty well used to this as the Golf had mystery disappearing coolant syndrome, so I figured I would just pull over at some point and fill it up. It was when we saw the first wisps of steam that we knew it was a bit worse than that... One of the coolant union joints had sprung a leak, right at the back of the engine bay by the firewall- in the least accessible place. When I attempted to get the hose clips off, to get the joint out so that I could attempt a temporary fix and get a part number, the entire assembly shattered. Train home for me then.
I managed to arrange to get to Swansea and get the car home a couple of days later, and it almost brought a tear to my eye to see it sat in the car park forlornly, untouched and abandoned in the same spot. I managed to get hold of the right part for it, and fitted it in situ, which whilst awkward was rewarded with an uneventful journey home. I couldn't shake the memory of how easily that coolant joint had shattered though, and it struck me with paranoia- for all I knew, all of the auxiliary components in the car were the same age and feeling just as brittle. Did I really want to be spending the time doing this for the sake of keeping such a s
t car going? It wasn't for me. I started going to look at cars for sale with a genuine intent on buying, and last month I won an ebay auction which rung the death knell for my Battlebox experience. I spent some time cleaning the car up, really lavished some proper attention on it, before putting it on a facebook 'for sale' page to get shot quickly. I got a message from someone who said they could be round in 10 minutes, and they did a bank transfer there and then for £350, insured and taxed the car on their phone and drove it away. I didn't anticipate how upset I would be to see the car go, and when I surveyed it for the last time in all it's magnificence, positively beaming having had it's first TLC for years, it looked a million quid.That was my first experience of selling a car, and it went remarkably smoothly. The bloke turned up straight away, paid the full price and it was gone.
Premium shedding- Alfa Romeo GT, December 2017 - present
I knew I had to own something at least moderately interesting. There are so many cars that as a kid I thought were awesome, that are available for absolute pennies- just look at the price you pay now for a mk1 Audi TT, Mazda RX-8, or Mitsubishi GTO. Cars that wouldn't have looked out of place on my bedroom wall fifteen years ago, all available for less money than my first insurance premium. There was really no excuse for me not to buy something cool. In fact I was dangerously close to taking home a mk2 MR-2 at one point when I realised- I've got a TVR for having fun with and whatever I buy now is going to have to soak up hundreds of miles a week, and be my main transporter of people and luggage. It was really no place for a mid-engined 2-seater. I was looking at Alfa GTVs when I discovered that the 1.9 diesel lump had found it's place in the GT, and it seemed to be a compelling prospect.
I went to look at a few GTs at dealers, and the condition and price varied hugely. Depending what I found I was either going to go full shed mode for ~£1k or if something more expensive jumped out at me I was open to the car being a keeper. They all had a few things in common though- gorgeous interiors, room for 5 and a capacious boot. It was ticking all the practicality boxes but with just enough lovely styling and Italian flair to qualify for the 'want' factor. The GT actually never jumped out at me when they were new, I didn't even find them particularly good looking, but the design has aged really well and they look better now than ever IMO. I was browsing eBay when I noticed one, with a massive pile of history and receipts, 109k miles, and a good spec, in an auction which hadn't even surpassed £1000- and a day to go! I didn't have time to go and see it, and that should have told me not to bother, but with blind optimism and blissful stupidity I decided to throw my hat in the ring for this absolute unknown quantity.
The next day was a myriad of frantic phone calls and no small anxiety. I don't actually have an eBay account, and barely understand how the system works, so I'd placed my faith in a mate who was bidding on my behalf. Come the end of the auction, the car sold for £1550- to someone. I could almost hear the guilt in my mate's voice when he rang me and declared, 'It's yours. And the seller wants it picked up within 48 hours. From Loughborough.' f
k. I was working solidly that week, the car was located nowhere near any bus or train station, and Loughborough suddenly seemed so very far away. A short grovel later and I managed to arrange a lift from a very cynical stepfather, and the next day I conveniently woke up with a terrible illness. Once we got there, the 'dealer' delighted in taking me for a short blast up and down the road where he attempted to prove to me how fast the Alfa was, changing gear with more speed than any sequential gearbox ever dreamt of, and buzzing the redline in every gear. He was a nice enough bloke though, and to his credit he'd kept together an impeccable history file, with recent receipts for new turbo, master cylinder, wishbones and various other things. Bar a broken door handle the car was also absolutely pristine, and inside and out it was as clean as the day it left the factory. I'd like to think that I would have snapped his hand off for £1550, regardless of the fact that technically I'd already bought it the previous day.I'm now a month in with my eBay mystery buy, and to be honest I'm waiting for the fall as it has exceeded my expectations in absolutely every way. Within it's 900 miles covered so far it's undertaken a trip to Swansea and also to Birmingham and back for the Autosport show, and it's been brilliant. Sink into the leather, set the cruise control, and arrive at your destination no worse for wear. I have to confess that it feels so tight and drives and behaves so well that I've not yet even got underneath it to fully inspect it- I know, shame on me. Everything on the car works as it should, which of course isn't right, so I decided to have a go at breaking something.
Unfortunately the Alfa fell short of my requirements in only one department- music. I have a huge collection of music on my phone which is a mandatory requirement to making mundane driving that bit more tolerable, and although the Alfa stereo had a half-decent radio and accepted CDs, this was not enough. So it was time for the Sony USB/Bluetooth head unit that has found it's place in every car I've ever owned, bar the Fiesta which already had a USB input and the TVR which makes its own music. This head unit with adapter has been a plug-and-play job for every car before, so lazily I pulled out the standard Blaupunkt unit and plugged in the Sony, expecting to be met by the sweet tones of The Fratellis, Pink Floyd and an embarrassingly large amount of Slade. It was not so. Closer inspection revealed that- shock horror- the head unit wiring for the GT was completely different from the usual ISO harness, and I'd have to cut, splice and crimp if I wanted Noddy Holder to appear through my speakers. Apparently I'm qualified as a sparky, but my single biggest fear in life is electronics on cars. They terrify me- I don't know why, but something about tearing open a dashboard and unleashing wire cutters underneath turns me into a gibbering mess. Tentatively I drew up a wiring diagram and forced myself to make the first cut into the Alfa's harness, the point of no return after which the job would have to be completed. I delicately stole a 12V feed from the cigarette lighter, and modified the harness in such a way that it would also accommodate inputs from the steering wheel controls, and miraculously it all worked!
The look was completed with a single-DIN fascia adapter to suit the console, and now the Sony head unit looks quite at home in there- I wouldn't be without it. So far that's about the only bodgery I've done on the GT, although I'm sure that will all change so watch this space to see more gormless moron struggling to complete simple tasks. All in all, I'm delighted with the GT and I think I chose the perfect car for my requirements. It'll do 60mpg on a cruise, is supremely comfortable and surprisingly spacious, and the handling is really rather sharp. My only complaint so far is a heavy clutch, but I do so little town driving that it hasn't particularly bothered me. Updates to come I'm sure!
Other stuff- 1976 VW bay window camper, June 2017 - present
My stepdad had a funny turn last year and decided that the thing we all needed in our lives was a T2 VW Camper. I'd recently moved into an annexe next to my parents after renting my house out, and he bought it with a view to us completing a restoration together- for the benefit largely of my little brother, who at the age of 16 is a better spanner monkey than I'll ever be. None of us knew much about T2s, other than we'd buy a bay window one as split screens were commanding big money. The van we ended up with came from Newport, and from the most genuine seller you could ever hope to meet. It had been in his family since the 80s but he was parting ways with it because he wasn't able to use it much and wanted it to be enjoyed rather than sat in his lockup. When he invited us into his house to sort the paperwork we were greeted with a VW camper doormat and pictures lining the walls of him on holiday in the van- it really was heart-wrenching. We bought the van on the promise that we'd keep in touch, and entered a different world of motoring than we'd ever experienced before.
The engine is the 1600cc single-carb variant, and although they're accused of being slow, once we'd set to and replaced the carb, dizzy, leads, plugs, filters and fluids, it was easily capable of a heady 55mph. We had intended to carry out a coolant flush, but we couldn't find the filler cap.. The driving experience on this old thing is something else. Getting it into gear has been described in a variety of ways ranging from 'fishing with a 100ft rod' to 'throwing a dart through the eye of a needle'. One thing it does better than anything else though is fun- something about it, when you're bouncing along on the oh-so-70s brown leather seats, makes you smile. I've never understood the hype around them, to be honest I still don't, but in a short space of time 'Bessie' has firmly entrenched herself into the family. Even the dog found her favourite spot.
We decided to enjoy the van for a while before setting to on any serious or structural work, and the first adventure I enjoyed was a small festival in Oxfordshire called Truck festival which I went to with the missus. The interior of the van can be reassembled into a crude rock-and-roll bed which turned out to be huge and comfy (there are also two hammocks in the pop-top roof but they're rather the opposite), although there isn't a leisure battery there is a 240V circuit which powers lights and sockets, a sink with working tap, and a gas hob with the bottle in the engine bay, although we may need to relocate this! With these features we were rather well set and enjoying ourselves, especially when the rain came and we were tucked up inside watching the tent-goers drown. That is, until... drip... drip... drip... Yep, we had a leak! Tactical deployment of plastic cups would see us through the worst of it.
Or so we thought... The SUMMER festival turned out to be a complete washout! The rain hardly relinquished all weekend and I spent a large majority of my time making trips backwards and forwards from the site to the camper to empty out what water had accumulated. What a grim weekend! But the festival was fantastic, I'd highly recommend it. And for the 5 minutes that the weather played ball, the van was stellar as a drying rack!
After the festival we headed straight off to Pembroke for a few days, where we got luckier with the weather. And regardless of any races I've won, any lap records I've set, no matter how many trophies I might accumulate from racing, I will always maintain until the day I die that my single greatest motoring achievement was only having to drop to 3rd once to climb the hills in Wales.
We concluded from the leakiness that the roof probably needed re-guttering, so that was added to a long job list which will keep us busy for many years to come. We took advantage of the summer to build a carport as storage and a bit of shelter when working on the cars... As god knows I'll never be short of work to do with these two around!
The next adventure planned for the camper is in May, when the Wisemen will be heading to the Daytona 24 hours for the second time. This year Bessie is going to be the official Wisemen-wagon, and by god it's going to be a lot more comfortable than last year- I can't wait! I know that a few on here are serious about karting, and I've seen Daytona mentioned before. If anybody is going along this year keep an eye out for us! Last year we went as the 8 Wisemen, and failed spectacularly at being competitive. It was a shame as 3 drivers amongst us were putting in mid-1:09s in the Sodis, which anyone who's been there may interpret as not being too shabby- but we hadn't assembled the team with a view to being fast, it was just a group of mates. This year we're going to make more of it, with two teams of Wisemen- it's still all mates, but split down the middle with the fastest drivers in one team and rearing to go! We'll still be competing in the Sodis though, because DMAX is taken a little too seriously- last year we all got pissed and then pounded round a track for 24 hours straight, meanwhile in DMAX world there were strategy meetings, penalties, breakdowns, even genuine tears! It's not for us, we're all a bunch of clowns. But fast ones! See you there.
Other stuff- ???
On a recent mission to acquire a car trailer, I was put in touch with an old family friend who apparently had one sitting around. It turns out that he used to race a Peugeot 306 in saloons championships across the country, though he'd never mentioned it and you wouldn't suspect it to look at him. I took to him remarkably quickly! The car trailer in question was hidden at the bottom of his garden under 3 years worth of undergrowth and nasty brambles and was rather lengthy to extricate. Once the foliage was partly cleared though, I could make out a familiar shape underneath a tarpaulin behind the trailer. The car was bought by him for his son to pass his driving test, and after a few years use had been taken apart to be modified. Like many of these projects, though, it hadn't seen completion and had been sat underneath this tarpaulin for nearly 6 years. He suggested to me that I should have a go at putting it all back together and getting it working again. Only the shell sits under the tarp with some components in the garage, though I'm not sure how much there is- or isn't. Personally I think it would make a great basis for a race car, if all the missing parts were replaced with better ones. I am spectacularly inept though, and I've got enough going on to keep me busy as it is, so I'm not sure whether to take it on. If and when I do, I'll be sure to post updates in this thread.
Watch this space...
Sorry for such a long post, updates I add will be far more succinct. Inevitably a TL;DR will be handy for some (most)-
TL;DR- short bloke does some stuff in mostly s
t carsEdited by CanoeSniffer on Saturday 6th October 09:37
Edited by andy.mod on Saturday 18th May 20:17
Edited by CanoeSniffer on Tuesday 21st May 20:52
Small update- took the TVR to Central in Birmingham yesterday to get some work done. Clue is in the picture as to what’s getting done!
Decided to enjoy a roof down run up there, considering that the car has been sat under a cover and only moved a couple of times in the last few weeks it fired right up, ran superbly and was a real event to drive as always. Constantly checking the mirrors to see if there is a Spitfire following me, my favourite thing about having the roof off
Took away a courtesy car to get home, this is the 1.8t vector sport thingy and is quite nice by all accounts, but at 35mpg anything more than a run down the road and I’ll still drive the Alfa.
Speaking of which, I ordered a new hinge to sort out the door handle which is bugging me. It’s a door card, window, latches off job and is apparently a bit of a grim one to do so I’ve got that to look forward to! For a tenner off eBay though it’s well worth it.
Camper is still in winter hibernation and I have no updates to bring on the tarpaulin mystery car unfortunately, that’ll probably wait until me and the stepdad have some concurrent time off work. Cheers for reading!
Decided to enjoy a roof down run up there, considering that the car has been sat under a cover and only moved a couple of times in the last few weeks it fired right up, ran superbly and was a real event to drive as always. Constantly checking the mirrors to see if there is a Spitfire following me, my favourite thing about having the roof off
Took away a courtesy car to get home, this is the 1.8t vector sport thingy and is quite nice by all accounts, but at 35mpg anything more than a run down the road and I’ll still drive the Alfa.
Speaking of which, I ordered a new hinge to sort out the door handle which is bugging me. It’s a door card, window, latches off job and is apparently a bit of a grim one to do so I’ve got that to look forward to! For a tenner off eBay though it’s well worth it.
Camper is still in winter hibernation and I have no updates to bring on the tarpaulin mystery car unfortunately, that’ll probably wait until me and the stepdad have some concurrent time off work. Cheers for reading!
Edited by CanoeSniffer on Saturday 20th January 15:41
Butter Face said:
Some interesting choices there for sure?!
a result of being irresponsible, enthusiastic and compulsive!Prinny said:
I agree on the claim to fame of only dropping to 3rd once in the Welsh hills. 
Best of luck at the 24h.
It was a choice between that or the one time I managed to nail the double declutch from 3rd to 2nd and avoid the signature crunch, or completed an entire journey without missing 1st once.. Basically every gear change is a minor achievement!Best of luck at the 24h.
Thank you
Mr Tidy said:
I had a V8 at 20, but it was in a P6 Rover, which isn't quite the same! 
Ooh I'd love a P6! Might miss the performance of the TVR though... But that lovely RV8 burble 
CountZero23 said:
Especially the brave/foolhardy purchase of the 6.5k Chim. Bottled getting one a few years back and still rather regret it.
If you're ever in a position to do so again, it really is an experience not to be missed. Mine has been surprisingly reliable despite being a complete dog in so many ways!DELETED: Comment made by a member who's account has been deleted.
Cheaper than the Alfa, work that one out 
To be fair it was only classic insurance that made it possible, through Admiral though rather than a specialist insurer, who all rejected me for some reason! Had a very entertaining phone call with one of the specialists-
'well yes we do classic policies for young drivers! It's important to us to make classic motoring accessible..'
'sorry, on what car?'
- beep*
If he gets the bug then there's no way he can be discouraged
The Alfa actually feels very well screwed together, as though it could have been built yesterday, dead impressed. Although it's not exactly peak Alfa, that would be something older with the Busso V6
CanoeSniffer said:
Mr Tidy said:
I had a V8 at 20, but it was in a P6 Rover, which isn't quite the same!
Ooh I'd love a P6! Might miss the performance of the TVR though... But that lovely RV8 burble 
But it felt pretty special in 1979, and the burble was lovely - just too quiet!
I hope all goes well with your TVR.
I enjoyed that, wish I had the balls to buy a TVR at any age, never mind 20!!
Your Golf reminds me of my first Polo - a pile of excrement, but it was free and I had a strange fondness for that car, which was known as Patsy. It also had the incredibly loud buzz at around 75 problem (wheel bearing, I think)...still managed to (just about) cruise at 90, despite having a 49bhp 1.0l engine !
Your Golf reminds me of my first Polo - a pile of excrement, but it was free and I had a strange fondness for that car, which was known as Patsy. It also had the incredibly loud buzz at around 75 problem (wheel bearing, I think)...still managed to (just about) cruise at 90, despite having a 49bhp 1.0l engine !
Discovered today that daily driving an old Alfa has definitely made me paranoid. It was another weekend, another trip to Swansea, another faultless 70mph/60mpg run from the GT. I was taking advantage of the cruise control to emanate Dave Grohl’s footwork on the chorus of Nirvana’s ‘Lithium’ and managed to send all of the dust I’d left in the carpet from last weeks worksite airborne, mistaking it for electrical smoke I was halfway onto the hard shoulder before I realised it was only the result of being overzealous with my imaginary kickdrum. D’oh!
The door handle hinge has arrived, but I’ve not had a chance to fit it yet due to annoying stuff like life commitments and work, and probably won’t get the time before this weekend when I’m off to Pembroke with the other half.
Considering I live in Swindon, why do I seem to spend all my time in Wales?
The door handle hinge has arrived, but I’ve not had a chance to fit it yet due to annoying stuff like life commitments and work, and probably won’t get the time before this weekend when I’m off to Pembroke with the other half.
Considering I live in Swindon, why do I seem to spend all my time in Wales?
Good read this, enjoyed it. That GT looks a good un for the monies. I do like them.
Fair play to you on the Chim, I have looked at several over the years including a few Wedges - 350i/390SE/400SE but as previously mentioned bottled it when it come to purchase
.
Will bookmark and follow with interest.
Good luck
Fair play to you on the Chim, I have looked at several over the years including a few Wedges - 350i/390SE/400SE but as previously mentioned bottled it when it come to purchase
.Will bookmark and follow with interest.
Good luck
Well done on the Alfa GT, especially with the JTD 1.9.
I am on my second Alfa 156, first was a 1.8 pre-facelift with a nice stainless exhaust...then my current 156 1.9 JTDM 150 ( in same colour as yours I think translates as moonbeam metallic blue IIRC), bought with 65,000 on it, had it remapped to 180BHP at about 90,000 and it now has 152,000. I am sure that you know the GT is the same as the 156 underneath, so it needs a 4 wheel alignment to get it to handle as Alfa intended ! I thought I knew 156s, but I was caught out with the rear damper seating cups ( can't remember the correct term !) that corrode because the drain holes get blocked up, then the damper breaks off and shreds the rear tyre...So best have a look on yours !
I may be tempted by a GT, with the practicality etc, but I just love the 156 design, especially the facelift front. I have just put some LED low beam bulbs in mine...I am sure you have discovered that the headlights on these cars ( 156 anyway) are poor.
I also have an aftermarket head unit but not yet sorted out the extra wiring for the wheel controls, although I have the patch leads etc.
I like your TVR... a mate had a 2.9 S that I borrowed for a while to get all the 'issues' sorted out at the TVR specialist in Hexham: after a few visits to them the bill totalled about £4K !!! But the car was great after that! I cannot imagine what yours is like to drive : I was getting wheelspin in 3rd in the wet and that was only the 2.9 Ford engine !!
I am on my second Alfa 156, first was a 1.8 pre-facelift with a nice stainless exhaust...then my current 156 1.9 JTDM 150 ( in same colour as yours I think translates as moonbeam metallic blue IIRC), bought with 65,000 on it, had it remapped to 180BHP at about 90,000 and it now has 152,000. I am sure that you know the GT is the same as the 156 underneath, so it needs a 4 wheel alignment to get it to handle as Alfa intended ! I thought I knew 156s, but I was caught out with the rear damper seating cups ( can't remember the correct term !) that corrode because the drain holes get blocked up, then the damper breaks off and shreds the rear tyre...So best have a look on yours !
I may be tempted by a GT, with the practicality etc, but I just love the 156 design, especially the facelift front. I have just put some LED low beam bulbs in mine...I am sure you have discovered that the headlights on these cars ( 156 anyway) are poor.
I also have an aftermarket head unit but not yet sorted out the extra wiring for the wheel controls, although I have the patch leads etc.
I like your TVR... a mate had a 2.9 S that I borrowed for a while to get all the 'issues' sorted out at the TVR specialist in Hexham: after a few visits to them the bill totalled about £4K !!! But the car was great after that! I cannot imagine what yours is like to drive : I was getting wheelspin in 3rd in the wet and that was only the 2.9 Ford engine !!
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