Having another kid - Already have 2 boys. Am I mental?
Discussion
Wife said she would like another kid yesterday, we already have a 2 year old and a 4 year old.
It seems we were finally getting our normal lives back lol. I was a bit Er..... How can I put it? Lukewarm to the idea.
But having had a sleep and now it's playing on my mind. Is three the magic number?
There is no doubt kids are expensive. Very expensive. But should cost be a prohibitive factor? What about time, or lack of!!!!
Anyone here regretted a third?
We are both in decent jobs, have some liquidity, our own house etc.
It seems we were finally getting our normal lives back lol. I was a bit Er..... How can I put it? Lukewarm to the idea.
But having had a sleep and now it's playing on my mind. Is three the magic number?
There is no doubt kids are expensive. Very expensive. But should cost be a prohibitive factor? What about time, or lack of!!!!
Anyone here regretted a third?
We are both in decent jobs, have some liquidity, our own house etc.
I went through the same, albeit a few years ago. Ended up saying yes, they're 19, 16 (boys) and 14 (girl) now.
The early days it didn't really seem to be any extra work. The boys doted on their little sister, still do. As they've grown up they've passed on experiences to each other and helped one another out.
I'd say go for it!
The early days it didn't really seem to be any extra work. The boys doted on their little sister, still do. As they've grown up they've passed on experiences to each other and helped one another out.
I'd say go for it!
WinstonWolf said:
The world is kinda geared around two plus two. As soon as you add a third you're into new cars, trouble getting hotel rooms etc. Do you have any history of twins in the family? We don't but my brother had twins...
One of my wife's colleagues went for a third and got triplets!f
k everything about that.Fortunately my wife looked me in the eye the minute we'd had number 2 and said "promise me, no more!!"
I wouldn't have another one either, so much extra complication and aggravation with pretty much every aspect of life (organising childcare and schooling, transporting them around safely, clothes, holidays, cooking/eating, accommodation, and general wellbeing and sanity).
A friend has just had one (accident) after 8 years of their first two. It's reset the clock back 8 years and they are back with nappies, buggies and all that st that we have graduated away from. He's valiantly saying "you hardly notice the extra one, economies of scale and all that", when it's abundantly clear its exponentially more difficult to raise an extra child. Lord knows what it's like having 4 or more...
To the poster above saying there was little difference, fair play to you. I struggle to believe that though in my experience of raising just two, and watching parents having the extra one (or two). I think the only parents who seem to cope are those where the husband brings home enough money for the wife to not work and have home help too.
Those dads head off to work from 6.30am-7.00pm and come home to hugs and kisses, thinking parenting is ace, I suspect their wives are all having nervous breakdowns or becoming alcoholics.
I wouldn't have another one either, so much extra complication and aggravation with pretty much every aspect of life (organising childcare and schooling, transporting them around safely, clothes, holidays, cooking/eating, accommodation, and general wellbeing and sanity).
A friend has just had one (accident) after 8 years of their first two. It's reset the clock back 8 years and they are back with nappies, buggies and all that s
t that we have graduated away from. He's valiantly saying "you hardly notice the extra one, economies of scale and all that", when it's abundantly clear its exponentially more difficult to raise an extra child. Lord knows what it's like having 4 or more...To the poster above saying there was little difference, fair play to you. I struggle to believe that though in my experience of raising just two, and watching parents having the extra one (or two). I think the only parents who seem to cope are those where the husband brings home enough money for the wife to not work and have home help too.
Those dads head off to work from 6.30am-7.00pm and come home to hugs and kisses, thinking parenting is ace, I suspect their wives are all having nervous breakdowns or becoming alcoholics.
Edited by prand on Thursday 18th January 10:54
I've got 3 aged 17, 15 & 11.
We weren't sure if we wanted the 3rd hence the 4 year gap.
Two eldest are girls so nice that the 3rd turned out to be a boy.
Yes it was knackering, stressful and expensive but I can't now imagine just having 2, the dynamics are just right IMO.
Eldest will hopefully be off to Uni in October which will be weird but a lot quieter :-)
Only downside is they don't make 5 seater convertibles.
We weren't sure if we wanted the 3rd hence the 4 year gap.
Two eldest are girls so nice that the 3rd turned out to be a boy.
Yes it was knackering, stressful and expensive but I can't now imagine just having 2, the dynamics are just right IMO.
Eldest will hopefully be off to Uni in October which will be weird but a lot quieter :-)
Only downside is they don't make 5 seater convertibles.
I had three under 6. The third really does change things, it's flipping exhausting. And like you, when the 3rd came along, I was getting a semblance of my old life back. I think it depends on the type of people you are. Some peoples lives are totally geared around their children so there is no 'getting the old life back', they prefer the new one!
I have two, that's enough IMHO.
I have friends with 4 and they've just bought what is, in effect, a Transit van (8 seats) to accommodate their tribe!
Having a third can be tricky in terms of bedrooms too, particularly as they get older and don't want to share etc.
Maybe look at this:
https://www.mariestopes.org.uk/men/vasectomy?gclid...
HTH
I have friends with 4 and they've just bought what is, in effect, a Transit van (8 seats) to accommodate their tribe!
Having a third can be tricky in terms of bedrooms too, particularly as they get older and don't want to share etc.
Maybe look at this:
https://www.mariestopes.org.uk/men/vasectomy?gclid...
HTH
If you do decide do it soon.
We waited 4 years and by the time the 3rd came along I was 40 and found it really hard physically.
However we did have some problems ie. he stopped breathing while feeding aged 4 weeks, 999 call, CPR, rushing to hospital 3am on a wintry January morning then 4 weeks in hospital....
He didn't make it easy for us but I'm so glad we have him.
We waited 4 years and by the time the 3rd came along I was 40 and found it really hard physically.
However we did have some problems ie. he stopped breathing while feeding aged 4 weeks, 999 call, CPR, rushing to hospital 3am on a wintry January morning then 4 weeks in hospital....
He didn't make it easy for us but I'm so glad we have him.
otherman said:
OP, did you ask her why? If its because she likes having babies around, then it's going to be four, five. You have to stop somewhere, i think it's two.
This is my sister, currently she has 2; 5 and 8 years old, a boy and a girl.She is desperate for more, however my BIL isn't, he is always throwing up obstacles, usually involving him retraining for work for the past 3 years so money is tight, however he has come to the end now and money is getting better so he needs to think of another excuse.
I don't really know what it will achieve having another, (well more actually as I think she wants 4) her 2 are becoming more and more independent and I am pretty sure the youngest wouldn't like to have to share his mothers affections with a baby. They have a small and very cluttered 3 bed house and won't be able to afford to move, she is also 38 and her husband 39, why would you want to saddle yourself with a baby at knocking on 40!!
How old are you OP?
HTP99 said:
otherman said:
OP, did you ask her why? If its because she likes having babies around, then it's going to be four, five. You have to stop somewhere, i think it's two.
This is my sister, currently she has 2; 5 and 8 years old, a boy and a girl.She is desperate for more, however my BIL isn't, he is always throwing up obstacles, usually involving him retraining for work for the past 3 years so money is tight, however he has come to the end now and money is getting better so he needs to think of another excuse.
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