Having another kid - Already have 2 boys. Am I mental?
Discussion
HTP99 said:
This is my sister, currently she has 2; 5 and 8 years old, a boy and a girl.
She is desperate for more, however my BIL isn't, he is always throwing up obstacles, usually involving him retraining for work for the past 3 years so money is tight, however he has come to the end now and money is getting better so he needs to think of another excuse.
I don't really know what it will achieve having another, (well more actually as I think she wants 4) her 2 are becoming more and more independent and I am pretty sure the youngest wouldn't like to have to share his mothers affections with a baby. They have a small and very cluttered 3 bed house and won't be able to afford to move, she is also 38 and her husband 39, why would you want to saddle yourself with a baby at knocking on 40!!
How old are you OP?
Hi. She is desperate for more, however my BIL isn't, he is always throwing up obstacles, usually involving him retraining for work for the past 3 years so money is tight, however he has come to the end now and money is getting better so he needs to think of another excuse.
I don't really know what it will achieve having another, (well more actually as I think she wants 4) her 2 are becoming more and more independent and I am pretty sure the youngest wouldn't like to have to share his mothers affections with a baby. They have a small and very cluttered 3 bed house and won't be able to afford to move, she is also 38 and her husband 39, why would you want to saddle yourself with a baby at knocking on 40!!
How old are you OP?
I am 37 and the wife is 34
HannsG said:
HTP99 said:
This is my sister, currently she has 2; 5 and 8 years old, a boy and a girl.
She is desperate for more, however my BIL isn't, he is always throwing up obstacles, usually involving him retraining for work for the past 3 years so money is tight, however he has come to the end now and money is getting better so he needs to think of another excuse.
I don't really know what it will achieve having another, (well more actually as I think she wants 4) her 2 are becoming more and more independent and I am pretty sure the youngest wouldn't like to have to share his mothers affections with a baby. They have a small and very cluttered 3 bed house and won't be able to afford to move, she is also 38 and her husband 39, why would you want to saddle yourself with a baby at knocking on 40!!
How old are you OP?
Hi. She is desperate for more, however my BIL isn't, he is always throwing up obstacles, usually involving him retraining for work for the past 3 years so money is tight, however he has come to the end now and money is getting better so he needs to think of another excuse.
I don't really know what it will achieve having another, (well more actually as I think she wants 4) her 2 are becoming more and more independent and I am pretty sure the youngest wouldn't like to have to share his mothers affections with a baby. They have a small and very cluttered 3 bed house and won't be able to afford to move, she is also 38 and her husband 39, why would you want to saddle yourself with a baby at knocking on 40!!
How old are you OP?
I am 37 and the wife is 34
Just remembered a friend of the wife, she had 2 boys and was desperate for a girl so they gave it one last shot and ended up with triplets!
p1stonhead said:
To be fair, sounds like he is a massive wimp. There should not need to be excuses. If one side doesnt want them, end of discussion!
You've never been married have you? 
That 'If one side doesn't want them, end of discussion!' thing - it does work, but only if the 'one side' is the female side...
Just had our third girl in September, the move from two to three is pretty big.
As above, you need a car big enough for three kids in the back, you can't tackle one each, trying to find a decent hotel to hold five in a room is nigh on impossible so you start looking at villa's etc. which are additional costs you have to factor in alongside the day to day cost.
Only 18 years to go!
As above, you need a car big enough for three kids in the back, you can't tackle one each, trying to find a decent hotel to hold five in a room is nigh on impossible so you start looking at villa's etc. which are additional costs you have to factor in alongside the day to day cost.
Only 18 years to go!
Ive got three 10,12 and 13 two older boys and a daughter, and I think it’s great. We had three under 4 I think at one point. How difficult it is depends entirely on you or your partner really. I would say each child was easier than the last.
They’re never bored, there’s always someone to play with, seems to work well all round. You do need more space though in a car and holidays etc. We have a 7 seater and tend to stay in villas instead of hotels, which works for us as they all get up at different times on holiday. They’re all different little people and like different stuff, I enjoy their company in different ways.
Like any number of kids, the key is being consistent and fair and parents backing each other up and it all seems to go ok.
I’d say go for it. Possibly,
They’re never bored, there’s always someone to play with, seems to work well all round. You do need more space though in a car and holidays etc. We have a 7 seater and tend to stay in villas instead of hotels, which works for us as they all get up at different times on holiday. They’re all different little people and like different stuff, I enjoy their company in different ways.
Like any number of kids, the key is being consistent and fair and parents backing each other up and it all seems to go ok.
I’d say go for it. Possibly,
thainy77 said:
HTP99 said:
Ok so by the time no.3 comes along you will be well on the way to 40, can you see yourself at 60 putting your youngest through uni?
I had my third at 40, what is the issue with putting a child through uni at 60?I have 3 kids. Eldest is 17, then a 13 and 11. I struggled when #3 came along to be honest, things I found...
You need a decent sized car. Most "average" cars the middle rear seat is cramped. Will be a prob when they are in car seats/boosters and then later when they hit smelly teenager years.
4 bedroom houses are bloody expensive vs 3s. They can't share a room forever. Our mortgage is downright scary now.
General demand on time juggling parent evenings, school trips, plays etc... with 2 similar age kids, its the same school so easier, once #3 arrives multiple schools most likely.
Most "family" tickets are 2 adults + 2 kids. So hotels etc.. more expensive.
In a nut shell you need deep pockets or a bigger TV.
You need a decent sized car. Most "average" cars the middle rear seat is cramped. Will be a prob when they are in car seats/boosters and then later when they hit smelly teenager years.
4 bedroom houses are bloody expensive vs 3s. They can't share a room forever. Our mortgage is downright scary now.
General demand on time juggling parent evenings, school trips, plays etc... with 2 similar age kids, its the same school so easier, once #3 arrives multiple schools most likely.
Most "family" tickets are 2 adults + 2 kids. So hotels etc.. more expensive.
In a nut shell you need deep pockets or a bigger TV.
Ari said:
p1stonhead said:
To be fair, sounds like he is a massive wimp. There should not need to be excuses. If one side doesnt want them, end of discussion!
You've never been married have you? That 'If one side doesn't want them, end of discussion!' thing - it does work, but only if the 'one side' is the female side...
HTP99 said:
By 60 I'd rather be free of my kids, that's all, I'm 43 and I couldn't think on anything worse than having a 3 year old.
Each to their own obviously, i preferred to have my twenties and thirties relatively kid free to enjoy myself. They will all be at uni by the time i'm 60 too which isn't too old to do what you want.Puggit said:
You'll be changing from man to man marking, crossing to zonal marking. <shudder>
Thank god we had one of each and could stop!
You don’t mark them like equals you dominate them like you dominate the stairs.Thank god we had one of each and could stop!
Treat them like dogs. Reward good behaviour, punish bad behaviour, be consistent treat them equally..
HannsG said:
Wife said she would like another kid yesterday, we already have a 2 year old and a 4 year old.
It seems we were finally getting our normal lives back lol. I was a bit Er..... How can I put it? Lukewarm to the idea.
But having had a sleep and now it's playing on my mind. Is three the magic number?
There is no doubt kids are expensive. Very expensive. But should cost be a prohibitive factor? What about time, or lack of!!!!
Anyone here regretted a third?
We are both in decent jobs, have some liquidity, our own house etc.
My lads are now 32, 30 and 28.It seems we were finally getting our normal lives back lol. I was a bit Er..... How can I put it? Lukewarm to the idea.
But having had a sleep and now it's playing on my mind. Is three the magic number?
There is no doubt kids are expensive. Very expensive. But should cost be a prohibitive factor? What about time, or lack of!!!!
Anyone here regretted a third?
We are both in decent jobs, have some liquidity, our own house etc.
Was great watching them grow up, they are still very close, no regrets whatsoever.
Of course the downside is it can be expensive, clothes, holidays, universities etc, but we worked hard and scraped through (just).
As a father to two boys (4 and 2 years old) and a girl (1 years old). Knowing what i know now, i would hold fire until the 2nd one is potty trained and in school at least as the 3rd one really does change the dynamics quite a bit.
Re money et al, you'll find a way to cope as everyone does.
Re money et al, you'll find a way to cope as everyone does.
thainy77 said:
HTP99 said:
By 60 I'd rather be free of my kids, that's all, I'm 43 and I couldn't think on anything worse than having a 3 year old.
Each to their own obviously, i preferred to have my twenties and thirties relatively kid free to enjoy myself. They will all be at uni by the time i'm 60 too which isn't too old to do what you want.OP I forgot to mention. If she does talk you round. Install Clue on your phone to secretly track her fertility period. Then make sure you get ill/go out/nuts fall off etc.. around that time. Bonus points for nailing her as much as possible outside that week long window to make it look good
WinstonWolf said:
The world is kinda geared around two plus two. As soon as you add a third you're into new cars, trouble getting hotel rooms etc. Do you have any history of twins in the family? We don't but my brother had twins...
A friend had one, decided he could just about afford another, and ended up with triplets,For me two is pretty crazy and adding a third (let alone the risk of twins/triplets) unimaginable, but I guess you get used to anything.
By the time #3 is born, your #1 will probably be at school, #2 probably potty trained? So at least only one in nappies.
Do you have family support nearby? Proper support, not the 'pop in grandma' types ?
By the time #3 is born, your #1 will probably be at school, #2 probably potty trained? So at least only one in nappies.
Do you have family support nearby? Proper support, not the 'pop in grandma' types ?
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