Modern toilets cannot cope
Discussion
this thread reminds me of this 
(skip to 2.50)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtHz9xkPLeY
(skip to 2.50)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtHz9xkPLeY
Edited by mog1275 on Tuesday 13th March 21:23
Integroo said:
Blaming women and the EU without any evidence whatsoever. You sound pleasant.
I blame both at the same time but mainly the EU who can always be trusted to do the least common sense thing possible. Add women into that equation, especially ones who do teeny weeny fairy dust sized plops and you will end up with crappers that simply cannot cope. It wastes every mans time and a whole lot of water.
I didn't vote for that.
colin_p said:
especially ones who do teeny weeny fairy dust sized plops and you will end up with crappers that simply cannot cope.
They don't, though, do they? They'd like you to think they do, but the truth is they leave behind cables that could have cheerfully come from a Canadian logging camp. miniman said:
colin_p said:
especially ones who do teeny weeny fairy dust sized plops and you will end up with crappers that simply cannot cope.
They don't, though, do they? They'd like you to think they do, but the truth is they leave behind cables that could have cheerfully come from a Canadian logging camp. 
ds. colin_p said:
In the olden days a proper bog would have a large splashdown area minimising pan stripe'age, would have a cistern with a goodly amount of water and the best ones would have a cistern at eye level with a chain on the side which really had oomph. More often than not having crap was flush and go affair.
I think toilet design was handed over to women in about 1995 as they are simply cannot cope anymore. Instead of having a large splashdown area they have a shelf with a tiny splasdown spot with little or no capacity. Today I made a deposit on one such bog and managed to break the surface of the water which was a quite pleasing accomplishment despite the crap crapper.
Flushing. I know it is all about saving water but if you have to flush the damned thing three or four times it really defeats the object of the exercise, not to mention the time wasted waiting for the damned thing to fill back up with water. They also have a poor distribution of water around the pan which means more brushing. On an old bog, no matter how large a flock of starlings was unleashed, were washed away and stripe'age was minimal.
I of course blame the EU for this (issueing some Red Dwarf Space Corps type directive about toilets, probably) but soon we will be able to sort out our own s**t once again. I cannot wait.
You’re absolutely right! And there was me thinking I had some sort of wierd, tilted, twisted back passage due to getting older, because it never used to happen in the old days I think toilet design was handed over to women in about 1995 as they are simply cannot cope anymore. Instead of having a large splashdown area they have a shelf with a tiny splasdown spot with little or no capacity. Today I made a deposit on one such bog and managed to break the surface of the water which was a quite pleasing accomplishment despite the crap crapper.
Flushing. I know it is all about saving water but if you have to flush the damned thing three or four times it really defeats the object of the exercise, not to mention the time wasted waiting for the damned thing to fill back up with water. They also have a poor distribution of water around the pan which means more brushing. On an old bog, no matter how large a flock of starlings was unleashed, were washed away and stripe'age was minimal.
I of course blame the EU for this (issueing some Red Dwarf Space Corps type directive about toilets, probably) but soon we will be able to sort out our own s**t once again. I cannot wait.
It’s the bloody toilets today!!
Thanks for clearing that up
The one I just visited in the Crown Lounge at Schiphol couldn't cope, mind you, after a full day's work in Jakarta, Breakfast lunch and lounge snacks yesterday, Dinner on the first flight, a quick visit to the lounge at KLIA and then Dinner and breakfast on the 12.5 hours flight to Amsterdam, plus drinkies, I have to say I provoked it into a fight it just couldn't win.
Arse feels like I've just st a Tolberone.
Arse feels like I've just s
t a Tolberone.parabolica said:
Catatafish said:
gazza285 said:
At least we don't crap on a shelf like our Teutonic brethren.
That is so you can inspect and report to your doctor the size and corn density.I have a problem with super rod turds that need their backs broken to pass down the woefully tiny apertures.
k knows how he cleaned up as there was no evidence of toilet roll of paper towels.Worse day at work ever.
You know that saying where you're never more than half a dozen clicks from pornography on the internet?
Well:
This thread
The link to the "unreal facts" website above
Links to a page about the earliest recorded erotica (1896!) - no nipples so doesn't count
Link from there to the earliest "modern type porn"
Warning page
Some French lady getting her groove on with a hoover and the lord and lady of the house to a jaunty piano accompaniment! (1906)
I love PistonHeads. It's so educational. Also the Mrs and I then found one from the 20s where the bloke's fake moustache falls off. There is a similarly jaunty piano.
Well:
This thread
The link to the "unreal facts" website above
Links to a page about the earliest recorded erotica (1896!) - no nipples so doesn't count
Link from there to the earliest "modern type porn"
Warning page
Some French lady getting her groove on with a hoover and the lord and lady of the house to a jaunty piano accompaniment! (1906)
I love PistonHeads. It's so educational. Also the Mrs and I then found one from the 20s where the bloke's fake moustache falls off. There is a similarly jaunty piano.
My old toilet could've flushed away a fully-grown walrus whereas the new one struggles with anything larger than a frankfurter. This is a bit of a problem for me because I tend to err more towards the heftier end of the scale, perhaps not a walrus but maybe a baby seal with a pituitary disorder.
Andehh said:
I don't mind them, especially as 4/5 of the time you're only flushing liquid away... Which when you use 20L to do the job is excessive!!
Small planet, lots of people, and we DO use water wastefully.
Im no left wing greenie, but common sense stuff like this, does make sense.
I live in East Lancashire. My back garden is a steep slope - it's the base of a Pennine. We have so much water, so much never ending rain, a perpetual deluge that I really cannot see why I should have my water use policy dictated by Londoners who have to drink recycled piss - same goes for transport policy. I should have a 500 litre cistern Small planet, lots of people, and we DO use water wastefully.
Im no left wing greenie, but common sense stuff like this, does make sense.
I used to be a product manager for a swiss industrial piping and sanitary ware company. We would have to certify new toilet pans would flush correctly with our concealed cistern systems. If we were supplying a big development like the big tower blocks in London etc. the civil engineering company would ask to check the cisterns they wanted to use would flush with a specific amount of water so they could hit their environmental targets.
There was a specific test we had to do that involved filling either condoms or sausage casing with a set amount of wet sawdust, tying cotton round it in a few places to give it some "lumps" and check the pan would clear on a test rig. there was another test that involved sprinkling sawdust around the pan to check it all got flushed away.
Cheap pans from places like south America would often fail. These are the sort of thing you get from discount bathroom suppliers. Decent European stuff would be fine. Trouble is we would get the blame for the cistern not flushing well enough when really it was the crap design of the pan that was to blame.
Proper glamorous that job was.
There was a specific test we had to do that involved filling either condoms or sausage casing with a set amount of wet sawdust, tying cotton round it in a few places to give it some "lumps" and check the pan would clear on a test rig. there was another test that involved sprinkling sawdust around the pan to check it all got flushed away.
Cheap pans from places like south America would often fail. These are the sort of thing you get from discount bathroom suppliers. Decent European stuff would be fine. Trouble is we would get the blame for the cistern not flushing well enough when really it was the crap design of the pan that was to blame.
Proper glamorous that job was.
Edited by lufbramatt on Wednesday 14th March 08:36
colin_p said:
Integroo said:
Blaming women and the EU without any evidence whatsoever. You sound pleasant.
I blame both at the same time but mainly the EU who can always be trusted to do the least common sense thing possible. Add women into that equation, especially ones who do teeny weeny fairy dust sized plops and you will end up with crappers that simply cannot cope. It wastes every mans time and a whole lot of water.
I didn't vote for that.
It's that bloody Sharia law, I tell ya!
Gameface said:
A bad workman always blames his tools arse.
Missed opportunity!A bad workman always blames his stools.
Notwithstanding. Our office toilet is pathetic. Open office. Little toilet in the corner. Flush can be heard across entire office. Walk of shame having just submitted a quadruple flusher.
We've had this issue at home since we got the toilets replaced upstairs and downstairs a few years ago.
I've now had to instigate a "no solids" rule downstairs because a combination of a tight bend and a small cistern capacity is insufficient to flush much away at all.
We had no issues before the changes, with the 40 year-old toilets and cisterns coping perfectly with any and all waste deposited therein. Now, though, when my son ignores the "no solids" rule, we end up repeatedly flushing with 12 litre buckets of water. I'd like to know which brain-dead moron considered it a good idea to reduce the cistern capacity, and combine it with the almost universal change to close-coupled WCs, to "save water" when now, instead of one flush of about 9 litres, we sometimes need 36 litres delivered by bucket to get things flowing again. Worst of all, it can't be an issue with the waste pipes below the finished floor level, because the manhole outside is about three feet away from the pan. I'm certain it's a problem with the design of the bend within the appliance itself.
Sad as it sounds, I now frequently dispose of the washing-up water down the toilet bowl to assist in keeping things flowing better. On one occasion this resulted in a sponge scourer getting poured into the pan accidentally, and yup, that too got stuck and for several days made things a LOT worse than any festering turd ever did...
I've now had to instigate a "no solids" rule downstairs because a combination of a tight bend and a small cistern capacity is insufficient to flush much away at all.
We had no issues before the changes, with the 40 year-old toilets and cisterns coping perfectly with any and all waste deposited therein. Now, though, when my son ignores the "no solids" rule, we end up repeatedly flushing with 12 litre buckets of water. I'd like to know which brain-dead moron considered it a good idea to reduce the cistern capacity, and combine it with the almost universal change to close-coupled WCs, to "save water" when now, instead of one flush of about 9 litres, we sometimes need 36 litres delivered by bucket to get things flowing again. Worst of all, it can't be an issue with the waste pipes below the finished floor level, because the manhole outside is about three feet away from the pan. I'm certain it's a problem with the design of the bend within the appliance itself.
Sad as it sounds, I now frequently dispose of the washing-up water down the toilet bowl to assist in keeping things flowing better. On one occasion this resulted in a sponge scourer getting poured into the pan accidentally, and yup, that too got stuck and for several days made things a LOT worse than any festering turd ever did...
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