The Forgotten Employee
Discussion
sc0tt said:
Fiction I believe but I enjoy reading it each time.The situation isn't completely impossible though...
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/...
Probably a bit of both.
Mate of mine used to prepare daily performance stats for a large utility company, which he then had to email each morning to a list of around a dozen directors and managers.
It was only after several months that he sent a separate email enquiring as to whether the reports were hitting the mark that he found out not one of them still worked for the company.
Mate of mine used to prepare daily performance stats for a large utility company, which he then had to email each morning to a list of around a dozen directors and managers.
It was only after several months that he sent a separate email enquiring as to whether the reports were hitting the mark that he found out not one of them still worked for the company.
I once got fired in the 80s, told to “sod off immediately and not come back”, which I duly did.
Idiot of a hot-headed boss either forgot to do the paperwork or didn’t have the grounds to dismiss so left me on the payroll for months. It was only me phoning up HR that triggered me finally leaving.
I imagine it happens more often than one realises.
Idiot of a hot-headed boss either forgot to do the paperwork or didn’t have the grounds to dismiss so left me on the payroll for months. It was only me phoning up HR that triggered me finally leaving.
I imagine it happens more often than one realises.
Chap I knew as a student took a year in industry. I think they carried on paying him for about 18months after he left. They did ask for the money back, but he had spent it and they decided it wasn't worth the hassle.
Friends Dad works in telecoms. Lots of big projects across different sites, and people have extended (well) paid home leave in between projects. There are reports of these being up to two years before they remember someone isn't working on anything at the moment.
Friends Dad works in telecoms. Lots of big projects across different sites, and people have extended (well) paid home leave in between projects. There are reports of these being up to two years before they remember someone isn't working on anything at the moment.
I've recently left a job where it seemed that my function was ignored by my boss.
I started covering North America back in 2004, working to improve market share, travelling over every month, on the road 270+ days per year.
By around 2013, things were going swimmingly, orders coming in, strengthened local team etc.
Thing was, I had always been told by my boss, "don't write reports, I don't read them, just pop in occasionally and update me face to face".
The last 4 years up to summer 2017 I just travelled around, attended pre-bid meetings, Federal Safety Committees and the like. Stopped in nice hotels, submitted expense claims etc., etc.
Only the latest round of 're-organizations' seemed to throw a flag up and have me dispensed with.
Shame that, I was having a great time.
I started covering North America back in 2004, working to improve market share, travelling over every month, on the road 270+ days per year.
By around 2013, things were going swimmingly, orders coming in, strengthened local team etc.
Thing was, I had always been told by my boss, "don't write reports, I don't read them, just pop in occasionally and update me face to face".
The last 4 years up to summer 2017 I just travelled around, attended pre-bid meetings, Federal Safety Committees and the like. Stopped in nice hotels, submitted expense claims etc., etc.
Only the latest round of 're-organizations' seemed to throw a flag up and have me dispensed with.
Shame that, I was having a great time.
I blagged a job in a “software consultancy” firm after two years at a big engineering firm working for the IT department, which I also blagged - Just talked about cars to the interviewer.
I thought I would be rumbled but no. Didn’t do anything and just asked other dweebs how to do stuff. Then we all got made redundant but the directors bought out our section and bizarrely offered me a job, the same job and same money.
So 12 months passed and they realised I was s
t at my job because I basically had no fking idea what I was doing. I just surfed porn and chatted to chicks on messenger.
Trouble was they’d been bitten by a previous blagged who took them to court and won so they were very wary of sacking someone.
I knew enough to hack into the mail server (it’s the only job I could do) and read everyone’s emails, which was interesting. Especially the conversation between the two directors who wanted to get rid of that “fking liability”. This went on for three weeks whilst they consulted lawyers blah blah blah.
Meanwhile I was doing less and less work (if that was possible) and just taking the piss - having long lunches, chatting to mates in the office on my phone, farting a lot. You know, the usual.
Then I read an email that told me my days were numbered. Monday to be exact. They would lay their cunning plan then. Lock me out of their systems and “escort me off the premises”. All good. Well done.
So I called in sick for two weeks.
Eventually I got bored and went in. Sat down. Got summoned. Boss said “We have decided to restructure. Your job is not available anymore. Do you understand?”
“Yes”
“We are giving you two months pay plus garden leave, nothing...”
“Cheers see ya”
Off I went.
I thought I would be rumbled but no. Didn’t do anything and just asked other dweebs how to do stuff. Then we all got made redundant but the directors bought out our section and bizarrely offered me a job, the same job and same money.
So 12 months passed and they realised I was s
t at my job because I basically had no fking idea what I was doing. I just surfed porn and chatted to chicks on messenger. Trouble was they’d been bitten by a previous blagged who took them to court and won so they were very wary of sacking someone.
I knew enough to hack into the mail server (it’s the only job I could do) and read everyone’s emails, which was interesting. Especially the conversation between the two directors who wanted to get rid of that “f
king liability”. This went on for three weeks whilst they consulted lawyers blah blah blah. Meanwhile I was doing less and less work (if that was possible) and just taking the piss - having long lunches, chatting to mates in the office on my phone, farting a lot. You know, the usual.
Then I read an email that told me my days were numbered. Monday to be exact. They would lay their cunning plan then. Lock me out of their systems and “escort me off the premises”. All good. Well done.
So I called in sick for two weeks.
Eventually I got bored and went in. Sat down. Got summoned. Boss said “We have decided to restructure. Your job is not available anymore. Do you understand?”
“Yes”
“We are giving you two months pay plus garden leave, nothing...”
“Cheers see ya”
Off I went.
Going back a few years now when i had a summer job at Phones4u after my first year of uni.
It was a small team and manager knew it was a summer job only so after i retruned to uni i duly awaited my last months pay check - Date went by and contacted the store who said dont worry - will get it sorted, following week the same thing.. this dragged on for a 2.5 months where finally i had enough a nd got a bit shirty with the store.
Apparently the manager had not told head office I had left the job and had not submitted my final months hours for payroll - to cover his own ass he made up a new leaving date and random hours for the 2 months i was back at uni whch was a nice bonus when you are a broke student...
In large organisations i would say its very easy to have forgotten employees - in fact part of my current role gets me involved in financial fraud, payroll etc and its more common than you think to have employees that are getting paid but no one knows who they are except on an HRIS system somewhere - tends to be more junior lower paid postions rather than upper management....
It was a small team and manager knew it was a summer job only so after i retruned to uni i duly awaited my last months pay check - Date went by and contacted the store who said dont worry - will get it sorted, following week the same thing.. this dragged on for a 2.5 months where finally i had enough a nd got a bit shirty with the store.
Apparently the manager had not told head office I had left the job and had not submitted my final months hours for payroll - to cover his own ass he made up a new leaving date and random hours for the 2 months i was back at uni whch was a nice bonus when you are a broke student...
In large organisations i would say its very easy to have forgotten employees - in fact part of my current role gets me involved in financial fraud, payroll etc and its more common than you think to have employees that are getting paid but no one knows who they are except on an HRIS system somewhere - tends to be more junior lower paid postions rather than upper management....
CubanPete said:
Chap I knew as a student took a year in industry. I think they carried on paying him for about 18months after he left. They did ask for the money back, but he had spent it and they decided it wasn't worth the hassle.
Somewhere I may or may not have worked for did a head to toe audit of who actually worked for the firm as they realised that the payroll system wasn't being updated properly and hadn't been for years. This was a large company employing 10,000s not some small business. After a few months work it was clear that a large number of grads who had performed their sandwich year at the firm had still been paid when they had left and gone back to Uni, in some cases even after they had left Uni. Some of them had come back to the firm after being at Uni, then left so they could get off the payroll system without triggering any suspicion.tankplanker said:
omewhere I may or may not have worked for did a head to toe audit of who actually worked for the firm as they realised that the payroll system wasn't being updated properly and hadn't been for years. This was a large company employing 10,000s not some small business. After a few months work it was clear that a large number of grads who had performed their sandwich year at the firm had still been paid when they had left and gone back to Uni, in some cases even after they had left Uni. Some of them had come back to the firm after being at Uni, then left so they could get off the payroll system without triggering any suspicion.
Not quite the same thing but when I was a student doing my A levels, back in the 80s, I worked in Tesco part time. Great job where I was the only part timer in 4 full timers.The week before I was due to leave to do my degree the HR manageress had me in and asked me how many hours I worked. I had been expecting this day. For two years. "Fifteen" I told her. "Well we've been paying you for twenty two and a half, it says so here on your wage slip, why hadn't you told us?" I had the lamest yet best response "Oh, I thought the 22.50 was some kind of computer code" I said. I got away with it.
I don't think it's true as there are too many 'happy coincidences' (just happens to have his wife's cell phone at the crucial moment which just happens to have his cell phone number as the top entry, just happens to stumble upon a colleague that can help him in a compromising situation at just the right moment, etc etc), but it is a great story well told I agree! 
A bit like the guy who collected parking money from a train station? car park for 4 years or so and one day didn't turn up.
I think the story was that the council thought he was collecting on behalf of the station, they thought he was collecting on behalf of the council, but the reality was he was collecting on behalf of himself, or something like that.
It all came to light when he had enough money to sail off happily into the sunset.
I think the story was that the council thought he was collecting on behalf of the station, they thought he was collecting on behalf of the council, but the reality was he was collecting on behalf of himself, or something like that.
It all came to light when he had enough money to sail off happily into the sunset.
wasn't there a bloke recently who should have been a software developer (say in the USA at a higher rate) but actually sub'd everything out a 3rd world country instead (India ?), paying them to do his work. actually very clever really.
as an alternative, I remember my company failing to dismiss a person instantly: instead we kept paying him. The twist ?
He'd tried to kill someone. He was on remand, thus obviously unavailable for work and it was dead clear cut: he had tried to kill "X". Not manslaughter, not an accident: he had knocked on this blokes door with the intention of killing him.
But oh no, our HR dept thinks otherwise and we continued to pay him for a bit, whilst he was locked up. FFS.
as an alternative, I remember my company failing to dismiss a person instantly: instead we kept paying him. The twist ?
He'd tried to kill someone. He was on remand, thus obviously unavailable for work and it was dead clear cut: he had tried to kill "X". Not manslaughter, not an accident: he had knocked on this blokes door with the intention of killing him.
But oh no, our HR dept thinks otherwise and we continued to pay him for a bit, whilst he was locked up. FFS.
austinsmirk said:
wasn't there a bloke recently who should have been a software developer (say in the USA at a higher rate) but actually sub'd everything out a 3rd world country instead (India ?), paying them to do his work. actually very clever really.
as an alternative, I remember my company failing to dismiss a person instantly: instead we kept paying him. The twist ?
He'd tried to kill someone. He was on remand, thus obviously unavailable for work and it was dead clear cut: he had tried to kill "X". Not manslaughter, not an accident: he had knocked on this blokes door with the intention of killing him.
But oh no, our HR dept thinks otherwise and we continued to pay him for a bit, whilst he was locked up. FFS.
Would you want to be the one to tell him he's sacked as an alternative, I remember my company failing to dismiss a person instantly: instead we kept paying him. The twist ?
He'd tried to kill someone. He was on remand, thus obviously unavailable for work and it was dead clear cut: he had tried to kill "X". Not manslaughter, not an accident: he had knocked on this blokes door with the intention of killing him.
But oh no, our HR dept thinks otherwise and we continued to pay him for a bit, whilst he was locked up. FFS.
austinsmirk said:
wasn't there a bloke recently who should have been a software developer (say in the USA at a higher rate) but actually sub'd everything out a 3rd world country instead (India ?), paying them to do his work. actually very clever really.
as an alternative, I remember my company failing to dismiss a person instantly: instead we kept paying him. The twist ?
He'd tried to kill someone. He was on remand, thus obviously unavailable for work and it was dead clear cut: he had tried to kill "X". Not manslaughter, not an accident: he had knocked on this blokes door with the intention of killing him.
But oh no, our HR dept thinks otherwise and we continued to pay him for a bit, whilst he was locked up. FFS.
This one for the developer? Unapproved security risk would be the big issue here, that and his manager could cut out the middle man.as an alternative, I remember my company failing to dismiss a person instantly: instead we kept paying him. The twist ?
He'd tried to kill someone. He was on remand, thus obviously unavailable for work and it was dead clear cut: he had tried to kill "X". Not manslaughter, not an accident: he had knocked on this blokes door with the intention of killing him.
But oh no, our HR dept thinks otherwise and we continued to pay him for a bit, whilst he was locked up. FFS.
I worked with a guy who was caught trying to bring back large quantities of drugs from Holland, while there on a trip for work. He was sacked rather quickly once they found out.
Monkeylegend said:
A bit like the guy who collected parking money from a train station? car park for 4 years or so and one day didn't turn up.
I think the story was that the council thought he was collecting on behalf of the station, they thought he was collecting on behalf of the council, but the reality was he was collecting on behalf of himself, or something like that.
It all came to light when he had enough money to sail off happily into the sunset.
Urban myth at Bristol Zoo, but a good story https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/ur...I think the story was that the council thought he was collecting on behalf of the station, they thought he was collecting on behalf of the council, but the reality was he was collecting on behalf of himself, or something like that.
It all came to light when he had enough money to sail off happily into the sunset.
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