The Forgotten Employee

The Forgotten Employee

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J4CKO

41,287 posts

199 months

Tuesday 20th March 2018
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Feeling a bit forgotten at the moment, being made redundant, just hanging on to transfer to folk in India, my boss rang me today for the first time in six weeks.

Am sat here, day in day out, has made me realise I prefer being busy, another six weeks an I should be out of there and starting my new job, after two months of not contacting me they decide they need me for longer.

stevensdrs

3,208 posts

199 months

Tuesday 20th March 2018
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I did some agency work for the Royal Mail some years ago. I discovered that many of the collection runs were actually ghost runs so if you were allocated that you just went for a drive for a few hours until it was time to clock off. There were people on the books who got paid a weekly wage but never did a stroke. When students were employed for the xmas period there was a nice loophole. If you turned up on the first day and then didn't report to the section you were assigned to, you could just turn up twice a day to clock on and clock off and be paid for doing nothing.
There were so many skiving it was no wonder the RM was loosing millions every day.

red_slr

17,122 posts

188 months

Tuesday 20th March 2018
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Shakermaker said:
Its just Milton from the movie "Office Space" isn't it?
Classic. Plus its quicker to watch the film than read that story!

Sub note, I think the film was based on a story called Milton. I think it was meant to be about him but they changed direction.



Geekman

2,863 posts

145 months

Wednesday 21st March 2018
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Not quite the same thing, but when I was studying abroad, I benefited from a grant from the French government which paid a small portion of my rent. Being a relatively honest guy, when it was time for me to leave the country, I went to the government offices and signed some papers stating that from X date, I would no longer be renting my apartment, and therefore they could stop paying me the grant. I also sent them a document signed by both myself and the landlord, stating that I had left the property.

They continued paying me the grant for several months after I'd left, overpaying me by around €2000. They never asked for it back, and I doubt they ever will as this was some years ago now.

A while later, I came back to France and began working in Monaco. Most tour guides in the area would work the summer season at a declared minimum wage with everything else paid in cash, then claim unemployment benefit in the winter season which they spent in cheap, far away places in Asia or Latin America. No idea how they got away with it, but it gave them a pretty good quality of life for not a whole lot of work.

lowdrag

12,869 posts

212 months

Wednesday 21st March 2018
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When in business a century ago (or so it seems) my affairs took off in a big way, and we were obliged to open a client's account to separate all the funds. In those wonderful days the interest was all mine, and it paid for a few good holidays and staff treats I can tell you. Then one day the bank manager rang, very friendly, and remarked that things obviously were going very well and mentioned a rather obscene balance on the client's account. I uttered the usual pleasantries, things were fine, then put the phone down. It was four days later that they took the money back, having credited it to the wrong account, but I kept the interest. One of only two times that a bank has paid me for nothing. Happy days.

devnull

3,745 posts

156 months

Wednesday 21st March 2018
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At my old employer, I resigned at a time when the company was in trouble and everyone was 'trying' to look busy. For all intents and purposes, my notice period was gardening leave. Once I'd finished up a project, reconciled my expenses, I was essentially cut of of any future meeting because, well, there really wasn't any point as it was for restructuring planning.

I used to work with a telco that has epic amounts of deadwood. More than a few times I listened to employees boast about how they used to see who could have the longest streak in not turning up to work without anyone noticing.

lowdrag

12,869 posts

212 months

Wednesday 21st March 2018
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Back in the 60s we used to walk into the GPO canteen and eat for virtually nothing. No one noticed, no one cared. IIRC it was 2/- the three course meal.

bongtom

2,018 posts

82 months

Wednesday 21st March 2018
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TIGA84 said:
You sound awesome.
Well thank you. So kind.

bongtom

2,018 posts

82 months

Wednesday 21st March 2018
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eltax91 said:
Similar story in the 80’s where I grew up. Lots of miners collecting 2 or 3 payslips for ficticous people that either never existed or didn’t work there. Easier for the cost to be soaked up than to have them all end up out on strike
And they thought it was Maggie who destroyed the industry!

anonymous-user

53 months

Wednesday 21st March 2018
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bongtom said:
eltax91 said:
Similar story in the 80’s where I grew up. Lots of miners collecting 2 or 3 payslips for ficticous people that either never existed or didn’t work there. Easier for the cost to be soaked up than to have them all end up out on strike
And they thought it was Maggie who destroyed the industry!
The railway industry might be very similar.....

jesta1865

3,448 posts

208 months

Wednesday 21st March 2018
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left a company last April, because they couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery, my pay was messed up at the end.

they paid me correctly for April as I was working until the last day.

Then I got an email from my old boss saying that they had overpaid me by the tune of 400quid as the HR dept hadn't had enough time to sort my money.

I questioned this as I worked until the end of April, started in the new job a week later in May, and I had handed my notice in 6 weeks before I left not 4, he had not bothered to forward the email his PA sent him with a scan of my letter and neither had she contacted HR. A bit convoluted and I think that's what they didn't do and it messed it all up. My boss tried to blame me, just one of the reasons that prompted me to leave, the blame culture.

Never heard anything from them, and come to their payday in May, they paid me full whack.

I emailed and they said they would be in touch, nothing, and in June they paid me full whack again minus the 397quid they said I
owed smile.

Never heard anything from them again, but the extra money paid for the shipping container for us emigrating to NZ smile.



Also not quite the same, but I used to work for a high st bank.

There was a story doing the rounds of a guy who used to help in our offices near Liverpool St Station. IIRC I think this is it.

He was there on the button 8am every day, off at 4, always turned down evening and weekend overtime, used to say he had his kids in the evenings and weekends as his ex-wife worked in a restaurant (i think that was it, it's a few years back)

However, he was always vague about the kids and his home life.

I don't know what prompted it, but someone finally checked his references only to find that he was actually residing in an open prison hence the lack of evenings and weekend working.

He was let go sharpish smile.




The Nur

9,168 posts

184 months

Wednesday 21st March 2018
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red_slr said:
Shakermaker said:
Its just Milton from the movie "Office Space" isn't it?
Classic. Plus its quicker to watch the film than read that story!

Sub note, I think the film was based on a story called Milton. I think it was meant to be about him but they changed direction.
I don't think Milton was forgotten. AFAICR, he was actually sacked but kept turning up to work and hadn't been paid for months so they moved him to the basement.

I may be wrong though as I haven't seen the film in ages.

Jonesy23

4,650 posts

135 months

Thursday 22nd March 2018
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The Nur said:
red_slr said:
Shakermaker said:
Its just Milton from the movie "Office Space" isn't it?
Classic. Plus its quicker to watch the film than read that story!

Sub note, I think the film was based on a story called Milton. I think it was meant to be about him but they changed direction.
I don't think Milton was forgotten. AFAICR, he was actually sacked but kept turning up to work and hadn't been paid for months so they moved him to the basement.

I may be wrong though as I haven't seen the film in ages.
They'd fired him but forgot to stop paying him. Or tell him, or take his desk or work away. bds were probably still demanding TPS reports too...

Then they realised the mistake during the next round of layoffs and stopped paying him hoping it would sort itself out.

After that it was just about encouraging him to leave without directly telling him he'd been fired already. He did at least notice the lack of pay.

The Nur

9,168 posts

184 months

Thursday 22nd March 2018
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Jonesy23 said:
They'd fired him but forgot to stop paying him. Or tell him, or take his desk or work away. bds were probably still demanding TPS reports too...

Then they realised the mistake during the next round of layoffs and stopped paying him hoping it would sort itself out.

After that it was just about encouraging him to leave without directly telling him he'd been fired already. He did at least notice the lack of pay.
Ooooohhhhhh ok, thanks for clearing that up. Been a good while since I have seen it.

Tankrizzo

7,247 posts

192 months

Thursday 22nd March 2018
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In 2012, I got caught in a contractual wrangle between HP and CSC (when I worked for HP). HP lost the account I worked on to CSC, and the staff were all earmarked for transfer to CSC towards the end of the year when the contract would begin. CSC for some reason wanted to early-transfer a bunch of more technically critical people as part of a discovery project about the account, and duly transferred our contracts over from HP in April - me, four of my buddies and a project manager. Same office, same building, but different company to all the people sitting around us who the day before had been our HP colleagues.

Only problem was, that "discovery project" got canned by CSC (due to politics) before we started on it - and we were stuck in limbo. We were CSC employees, but on an HP account using HP equipment - which HP wouldn't now let us use. Couldn't even log onto the network, or approach anyone about any account work at all. As far as business went, we were non-people.

So from April 2012 until November 2012 I got paid by CSC, full wage, to do absolutely jack-st. Contractually for some reason we had to be on site so we couldn't stay at home, so I whiled the time away by coming in at 0900, surfing the entire internet, going for long walks & 2-hour lunches, chucking a ball around the corridors, playing office golf, prank calling other colleagues, playing Baldur's Gate on my own laptop which I brought in, taught myself another coding language...it was awesome yet strangely boring. We used to make weapons out of office materials - I made an axe out of a ruler, two forks, elastic bands and a stapler - and would enact medieval battles down the office. Around 1630 I'd stretch, yawn and call it a day.

It was actually quite depressing after a while!

P-Jay

10,551 posts

190 months

Thursday 22nd March 2018
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Oh I haven't read that for years!

I don't know if it's truth or fiction, but anyone who's worked for a massive company can well believe it.

I used to work for a Finance Company. Some time in the 80s it was bought by Natwest, then in the 90s Natwest was bought by RBS so it became a smaller and smaller part of a massive machine.

It was always very fair on employees. No one ever got laid off because of poor performance or being last-in or whatever. Jobs disappeared and it didn't matter if you had 3 months service or 30 years that was it, "sorry, bye". In the case of the 30 year veteran here's a huge pile of cash to tide you over.

One of the Old Boys used to be a rep in West Wales, they had a small office of 4-5 people, when NatWest took over they wanted to close the office. The Manager took redundancy and early retirement and my mate was appointed Manager for a few weeks whilst they handled the closure. The rest of the staff either took redundancy or took roles in NatWest branches. When the office was closed they kept him on as the rep for West Wales. He kept the Management Level Pay and benefits for a bit longer than the 2 months he actually did the role... about 3 decades. He retired a few years ago, still on a Managers salary.

He had one of the best jobs in the world. He was guarded, but if you got a drink in him he'd admit it didn't work per-se. He'd had the same customers for his entire working life. His customer could call him day or night and ask for £40k for a new Tractor or whatever, he cleared the finance and his Assistant in Bristol would email the paperwork to the customer, they'd sign it and that it. He 'worked' about an hour a day on a bad day.

£60k salary. Up to 40% bonus (I doubt he would get close to that though, he scraped target most years). 10% profit share (pre 2008 anyway) share scheme. Pension you could only dream of now. Decent if not exciting car. Working in an beautiful part of the country where you can still buy a 4 bed house for less than £150k. For working half a day a week and the odd tedious trip to Cardiff or Bristol for a meeting.

anonymous-user

53 months

Thursday 22nd March 2018
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I did a contract with a council, and was sat next to a guy who worked in payroll. One of the school dinner ladies rang him to complain that she hadn't been paid her 25 pence, tabard washing allowance.

A few minutes later, he asked me to look at his screen to double check what he was seeing.
She should have been on 4.8k, yet had been paid 48k for the past 5 years.

After some wrangling and the lady going off on long term sick, It was written off, after the union interfered.

Apparently her house was lovely, and she used to go on some fantastic holidays.






Guvernator

13,105 posts

164 months

Thursday 22nd March 2018
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I've done some work for local authority borough council and if anyone has worked for local or central government, they can probably attest to this themselves but there are literally loads of people who "work" at these places who do absolutely nothing.

I used to here stories about working for government but always assumed they were somewhat humorous anecdotes but no, it's actually true.

No one really gets fired, if you are crap they either just put up with it or at worse shuffle you along to another department. I met people who seem to have made it their life goal to get paid to do nothing for the rest of there working lives until they retire which is why it boils my piss now when we get tax hikes. My council tax has gone up yet again, mostly to pay for people to sit around doing nothing.

30v

99 posts

146 months

Thursday 22nd March 2018
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I was contracted to a Large Agency years ago. After a few months doing 'proper' work was seconded to another Large Agency to assist in putting together a key statutory document. I was a recent graduate, out of my depth in my new surroundings and had little idea of what I was supposed to produce. But if tasked, I knew where to find examples (usually, the internet). It was a cinch.

Time passed to the point where neither the department I was originally contracted to, or the one I was seconded to, were entirely sure who I was working for. Both departments independently resolved that I was busy working for the other and gradually tasks from both departments dried up to.. well: Nothing. It was risky - pretending to work for two bosses at once whilst not actually being given anything to do. Most of the time I just block-booked the pool car and pretended to visit sites. I expected to get the boot, but weirdly, both my employers agreed to extend my contract due to my 'valuable input'

My mates couldn't believe I'd landed such a number. But I hated it. I was surrounded by 'old-before their-timers' people who's given up on any notion of personal adventure or fulfilment - content to wind down their lives in a work coma. I bailed after a few months to get another proper job. Never been happier.

Edited by 30v on Thursday 22 March 23:01

mike74

3,687 posts

131 months

Friday 23rd March 2018
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Not quite a forgotten employee, but a few years back I halved my hours by doing a job share, which obviously should mean my annual leave entitlement should also have been halved... but no, I still carried on getting full time annual leave entitlement for 5 years, which was nice.