A lesson learnt for an angry old lady

A lesson learnt for an angry old lady

Author
Discussion

RATATTAK

Original Poster:

10,593 posts

188 months

Friday 20th April 2018
quotequote all
Took the Porsche out for a mini break the last couple of days - yesterday we travelled from Pocklington to Goathland (TV programme Heartbeat was set there) where we had lunch at the Mallyan Spout Hotel (spotted a blue roadster in the car park), on to Whitby, then down the coast road to Robin Hood's Bay, Scarborough and Filey.

Lovely weather so top down and just pulling into the car park at the bottom off Robin Hood's Bay when the wife discovered a Seagull incident ... the bird had unloaded on the top of my wife's head (she's blonde) and the dregs I discovered were on the back of the car ... only a disabled space left so I parked half i the bay leaving space for other cars to get round.

So there I am doing the hairdresser/cleaner job on wifey's head using wet wipes which I keep in the glove box when in comes a Kia Sorrento with an old couple in ... the lady immeadiately jumps out and gives me an earful of "Are you parking there ? - are you disabled ? cos we are and we have a blue badge".

I explain what has happened and ask for a couple of minutes to tidy the wife up before I move my car to allow them to park. So I eventually move the car and I continue with the clear up.

An American couple offer water for the final cleanup and a nice English guy comes over to see if he can help.

By this time I had a pile of used wet wipes piled up on the dash when old lady (with hubby), both with sticks, walks by and starts chastising me again, commenting that it's lucky to have a seagull poo on you and that I could have avoided the mess if I hadn't had the roof down. I sarcastically thanked her for her help and she went on her way down to the sea front.

I was just about to follow them to the car park waste bins when I had a brilliant idea before I continued my journey.

What do you think I did with the used wet wipes ?

Answers below please

kowalski655

14,599 posts

142 months

Friday 20th April 2018
quotequote all
Disposed of them carefully in the bins provided

Jaybmw

315 posts

80 months

Friday 20th April 2018
quotequote all
I'm hoping you shoved them down her neck the auld

J4CKO

41,287 posts

199 months

soad

32,829 posts

175 months

Friday 20th April 2018
quotequote all
Wife's pics available or what?

TonyRPH

12,963 posts

167 months

Friday 20th April 2018
quotequote all
All I can say is, it must have been amusing when they started their car....

Berkshire bred

985 posts

74 months

Friday 20th April 2018
quotequote all
I think the only apropriate answer is, stuffed them down the old bags throat.


Or possibly in the petrol filler flap?

oilbethere

908 posts

80 months

Friday 20th April 2018
quotequote all
I'm with the old lady. You're a .

castex

4,935 posts

272 months

Friday 20th April 2018
quotequote all
oilbethere said:
I'm with the old lady. You're a .
I wouldn't go this far, but she was right and you were entirely in the wrong. Behave differently.

southendpier

5,254 posts

228 months

Friday 20th April 2018
quotequote all
Seagulled in your wifeys barnet?

I hope you recycled the wipes so that a Scarborough turtle didn't choke on the jizz.

S6PNJ

5,157 posts

280 months

Friday 20th April 2018
quotequote all
J4CKO said:
And I was so hoping that was going to be a banana up the tailpipe! which is probably the best place for the wet wipes!

Jonesy23

4,650 posts

135 months

Friday 20th April 2018
quotequote all
ahole in a Porsche parks in a disabled bay, but not properly, then harasses an elderly disabled couple for daring to want to use it?

So with the wet wipes was it assault or criminal damage you went for in the end?

poo at Paul's

14,116 posts

174 months

Friday 20th April 2018
quotequote all
You really needed to stop right there and then to clean up a bit of bird st off your car? Can't your wife clean her own head?

https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...


Jag_NE

2,949 posts

99 months

Friday 20th April 2018
quotequote all
it sounds odd that a little bit of bird st attracted a small crowd of good samaritans....did your wife have some sort of emotional breakdown, or were they all horrified porsche enthusiasts?

john2443

6,325 posts

210 months

Saturday 21st April 2018
quotequote all
1988?? Joke - What's the difference between a yuppie and a seagull?

Seagull's the only one who can still put a deposit on a Porsche.

Kermit power

28,634 posts

212 months

Saturday 21st April 2018
quotequote all
castex said:
oilbethere said:
I'm with the old lady. You're a .
I wouldn't go this far, but she was right and you were entirely in the wrong. Behave differently.
Absolutely agree.

The only reasonable action - beyond a) not making this whole story up or b) not blocking the disabled parking spot in the first place would've been to apologise, move the car immediately and then finish cleaning up the mess.

As for "guess what I did with the wet wipes hahaha", surely it's illegal not only for twelve year olds to drive, but also for them to be married?

languagetimothy

1,075 posts

161 months

Saturday 21st April 2018
quotequote all
castex said:
oilbethere said:
I'm with the old lady. You're a .
I wouldn't go this far, but she was right and you were entirely in the wrong. Behave differently.
These.

And pointed out to the wifey that any that's left will come out easily next time she has it bleached.

DoubleD

22,154 posts

107 months

Saturday 21st April 2018
quotequote all
So you blocked a disabled space but you think that the other person is at fault?

inabox

291 posts

190 months

Saturday 21st April 2018
quotequote all
Coming across as an entitled tosser tbh. So you got poo on your porsche and your wife, could be worse, could be old, disabled and stuck in a Kia on a hot day with no aircon because some prat is parked in a spot designed to help with these problems

DoubleD

22,154 posts

107 months

Saturday 21st April 2018
quotequote all
RATATTAK said:
Took the Porsche out for a mini break the last couple of days - yesterday we travelled from Pocklington to Goathland (TV programme Heartbeat was set there) where we had lunch at the Mallyan Spout Hotel (spotted a blue roadster in the car park), on to Whitby, then down the coast road to Robin Hood's Bay, Scarborough and Filey.

Lovely weather so top down and just pulling into the car park at the bottom off Robin Hood's Bay when the wife discovered a Seagull incident ... the bird had unloaded on the top of my wife's head (she's blonde) and the dregs I discovered were on the back of the car ... only a disabled space left so I parked half i the bay leaving space for other cars to get round.

So there I am doing the hairdresser/cleaner job on wifey's head using wet wipes which I keep in the glove box when in comes a Kia Sorrento with an old couple in ... the lady immeadiately jumps out and gives me an earful of "Are you parking there ? - are you disabled ? cos we are and we have a blue badge".

I explain what has happened and ask for a couple of minutes to tidy the wife up before I move my car to allow them to park. So I eventually move the car and I continue with the clear up.

An American couple offer water for the final cleanup and a nice English guy comes over to see if he can help.

By this time I had a pile of used wet wipes piled up on the dash when old lady (with hubby), both with sticks, walks by and starts chastising me again, commenting that it's lucky to have a seagull poo on you and that I could have avoided the mess if I hadn't had the roof down. I sarcastically thanked her for her help and she went on her way down to the sea front.

I was just about to follow them to the car park waste bins when I had a brilliant idea before I continued my journey.

What do you think I did with the used wet wipes ?

Answers below please