Tell us Something Really Trivial about your Life (VOL 30)
Discussion
Chaps, sorry to trouble you, but it’s WAY past my bedtime, Battert has wandered off and I’m stuck halfway up the spire. I’ve got the rifle, but forgot to bring any ammunition.
It’s starting to rain, I’m getting peckish and I’m also due some meds.
I say “rain”, I’m seems I’m only moist from the waist down. And not in the good way.
Chaps? Hello?
It’s starting to rain, I’m getting peckish and I’m also due some meds.
I say “rain”, I’m seems I’m only moist from the waist down. And not in the good way.
Chaps? Hello?
fatboy18 said:
Back from Le mans 
Hi Fatboy The hero returns, eh? Hope you enjoyed it and witnessing Onslow's win for the honour of the Land of the Rising Sun.
Pray tell us, how much did it cost you in road tolls overall for the return journey?
Pericolossal has ruled out going to the LM Classic next month because he fears les péàges would hit his Euro reserves to the tune of €100's.
That has not been the case in my experience, especially if you allow plenty of time and take the far more interesting scenic routes. There's no need to be in a rush.
OMG!! What on earth is Dibble doing suspended upside down from the church tower??? And why is he all wet from his waist down to his head? It's not even been raining.
Is this part of his bone-growing programme for The Idiot Dog? Some strange new method of traction perhaps? Or was it a village lynching that was interrupted by a large angry bird?
Does he need his screws seeing to? I'm sure one of them is loose...
And Timmy45 better beware, tormenting those moles. If Penfold gets to hear about it, there will be severe reaper cushions.
You wouldn't like him when he's angry! 
Good God Dibble, what the thump are you doing up there chap? I'm just making my way back from the Parson's Pecker, Ada had a lock-in. It's ok, there's no coppers around.
Oh.
Anyhow, I'll rope a blanket up to you. You're welcome to the rest of this Absinthe too, I really shouldn't have any more. There's half a packet of scratchings too.
It'll help tide you over until we can effect a proper rescue.
Oh.
Anyhow, I'll rope a blanket up to you. You're welcome to the rest of this Absinthe too, I really shouldn't have any more. There's half a packet of scratchings too.
It'll help tide you over until we can effect a proper rescue.
I would say morning chaps but it appears most of you haven't been to bed while you hold a candle light vigil for Dibble, I see he's started to dry out a bit and someone managed to get a blanket and some provisions up to him, all we need to do now is figure out how to get him down!!!!
DickyC said:
Does Battert have a cherry picker licence? If so, is it in date? If so, is a cherry picker available?
Hold on, Dibble, I'm going to have to draw a logic diagram.
Yes, we'll have to think of a way to get him back down. I mean, he's not much use as a windsock is he? There's no loose flappy bits to indicate wind direction, slthough.it would guess it's mostly coming from the south up there? Hold on, Dibble, I'm going to have to draw a logic diagram.
He is making the village look a bit untidy, so we can't leave him up there through the Solstice Celebration, the Druid Master would take a dim view of him upsetting the flux of the leylandii lines through the church.
The villagers would think that he is this year's human sack of rice offering to the Earth Mother ( Mrs. Brassington in beads and a sheer kaftan ).
And we already have a nomination for this year's Wicker Man.
We need to attach a safety line.
Bomma, have you still got that Whaler harpoon?
Logic diagram?
GrandBomma can be getting on with that with the Spirograph set whilst we think of a Master Plan.
Edited by glenrobbo on Tuesday 19th June 07:51
I don't know if Battert is any good with cherries. They are a bit of a rarity round these parts.
I know he likes a nice juicy pear, and watching all the peaches on the beaches...
He may even have been a Strangler back in the day...
I've been thinking ( Yes, I know I shouldn't ):
If storks can deliver babies, Shirley a strong, sturdily built Pelican could bring a Dibble down to earth? Agreed, it might be quite a steep glide slope, but at least the ground would break his fall?
That's it! We could winch up materials so that he could construct a glider à la Colditz kite.
I'm sure I have the blueprints tucked away somewhere.
We need to procure some wood lots and lots of wood. And glue. And some WW2 POW Stalag Luft XXIII counterpanes for the outer skin covering...
I know he likes a nice juicy pear, and watching all the peaches on the beaches...
He may even have been a Strangler back in the day...
I've been thinking ( Yes, I know I shouldn't
):If storks can deliver babies, Shirley a strong, sturdily built Pelican could bring a Dibble down to earth? Agreed, it might be quite a steep glide slope, but at least the ground would break his fall?
That's it! We could winch up materials so that he could construct a glider à la Colditz kite.I'm sure I have the blueprints tucked away somewhere.
We need to procure some wood lots and lots of wood. And glue. And some WW2 POW Stalag Luft XXIII counterpanes for the outer skin covering...
Hold on chaps I have a cunning plan, whilst a cherry picker would be ideal I'm not sure if we can get one here soon enough, the harpoon idea has it's merits but all we'll end up with is a load of harpoons in/around/through Dibble, no what we need is a fool proof way of releasing the jammed block and tackle and returning him to earth, preferably intact, so how about we send Penrose up with a pair of garden shears to cut the rope and we all stand under Dibble with one of Mrs Brassingtons freshly starched bed sheets, there's what, six of us available, I'm sure that's enough to support the weight of a portly wheelchair wearing Dibble!!!!! 
GOOD GOD!!!!!!! That's his undercarriage?!?!?! No wonder lovely GF is happy with him!!!!
I still say the Pelican+garden shears+several blokes with a bed sheet will work!!
I reckon if we keep it tight enough we could get him in some trampolining practice, it would certainly cure his boredom!!!!
I still say the Pelican+garden shears+several blokes with a bed sheet will work!!
I reckon if we keep it tight enough we could get him in some trampolining practice, it would certainly cure his boredom!!!!Bobberoo99 said:
Hold on chaps I have a cunning plan: how about we send Penrose up with a pair of garden shears to cut the rope and we all stand under Dibble with one of Mrs Brassingtons freshly starched bed sheets, there's what, six of us available, I'm sure that's enough to support the weight of a portly wheelchair wearing Dibble!!!!!
You mean like Delboy & Rodney with that priceless crystal chandelier? That might just work, Bobbers! Or what if we called the Trivbury Fire Station and got them to bring out their turntable ladder and a naxe?
If Fireman Sam hacked through the rope, we could carefully place that old galvanised tin bath underneath Dibble's likely direction of plummet.
We could even put some water in it.
Edited by glenrobbo on Tuesday 19th June 09:31
glenrobbo said:
Bobberoo99 said:
Hold on chaps I have a cunning plan: how about we send Penrose up with a pair of garden shears to cut the rope and we all stand under Dibble with one of Mrs Brassingtons freshly starched bed sheets, there's what, six of us available, I'm sure that's enough to support the weight of a portly wheelchair wearing Dibble!!!!!
You mean like Delboy & Rodney with that priceless crystal chandelier? That might just work, Bobbers! Or what if we called the Trivbury Fire Station and got them to bring out their turntable ladder and a naxe?
If Fireman Sam hacked through the rope, we could carefully place that old galvanised tin bath underneath Dibble's likely direction of plummet.
We could even put some water in it.
Edited by glenrobbo on Tuesday 19th June 09:31
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff