Messing yourself....
Discussion
Not quite how it sounds, but whatever goes...
Just sat eating my lunch at work and managed to empty almost a whole portion of Sweetcorn Chowder in my lap, so now sat here having slopped it all up in a pair of chinos with slowly drying soup on them, its not particularly pleasant.
What have you done dropped on yourself ?
Two of my others,
Full glass of red wine to the crotch, on an Air Transat flight to Canada for work, got my glass of wine and was having a read, fat/tall/ generally massive American bloke next to me gets up and manages to knock my tray table, I try to save the wine, but too late, it lands right in my crotch, didnt even notice the ignorant lump.
At work, went for a brew for me any my colleague as was my turn, normal procedure was to carry one brew in each hand, and flick the door with your foot, which is all well and good during the day as its open, but on a timed basis, at 5.30 it decides to up the security and you have to swipe, as an early starter I was long gone by then most days, but not today as we had a problem.
I walk up to the door and give it an insouciant flick but it remains steadfastly shut, I had quite a bit of momentum and was committed to entry as much as the door was committed to not letting me pass, it won and I ended up with most of two cups of Coffee, very hot Coffee down me which made me yelp, my remaining colleagues found this hilarious but, at the time I was less than amused, it hurt so I just decided the only decent thing to do was to flounce and go home
Just sat eating my lunch at work and managed to empty almost a whole portion of Sweetcorn Chowder in my lap, so now sat here having slopped it all up in a pair of chinos with slowly drying soup on them, its not particularly pleasant.
What have you done dropped on yourself ?
Two of my others,
Full glass of red wine to the crotch, on an Air Transat flight to Canada for work, got my glass of wine and was having a read, fat/tall/ generally massive American bloke next to me gets up and manages to knock my tray table, I try to save the wine, but too late, it lands right in my crotch, didnt even notice the ignorant lump.
At work, went for a brew for me any my colleague as was my turn, normal procedure was to carry one brew in each hand, and flick the door with your foot, which is all well and good during the day as its open, but on a timed basis, at 5.30 it decides to up the security and you have to swipe, as an early starter I was long gone by then most days, but not today as we had a problem.
I walk up to the door and give it an insouciant flick but it remains steadfastly shut, I had quite a bit of momentum and was committed to entry as much as the door was committed to not letting me pass, it won and I ended up with most of two cups of Coffee, very hot Coffee down me which made me yelp, my remaining colleagues found this hilarious but, at the time I was less than amused, it hurt so I just decided the only decent thing to do was to flounce and go home
Full cup of black coffee once on suit trousers and shirt. I managed to walk to a well equipped nearby Tesco pretty much immediately. The assistant in menswear saw my predicament and went out of her way to help, finding me a matching pair of trousers and shirt, ironing them and letting me put them straight on. She even packed up my ruined clothes. I walked back via a dry cleaners and gave them the bag to be laundered. All in all from coffee spill to being back in the office with only a stained carpet as evidence was little more than 20mins.
Not strictly my own fault and probably only really slightly amusing because it happened on mine and my now wife's second date but here goes...
We went out for a drink and sat at the bar, ordered a couple of cocktails which came in long glasses (might have been Mojitos but that's by the by). The drinks arrived, I picked mine up for a sip and the base of the glass fell away from the body of the thing completely, depositing the entire contents directly into my crotch area. Looked for all the world like I'd pissed myself and the now-wife was in stitches at my misfortune.
Took a moment to twig what had happened - when I picked the base up off the ground (surprisingly still in one piece) it was hot to touch. The bar staff must have taken it straight out the glass washer and filled it with ice and various cold liquids. It had separated from the glass very cleanly, I can't back the theory up with any science but I guess probably because of the temperature differential between the hot solid glass base and the very rapidly chilled wall of the glass.
To this day when I get a drink in a pub etc. I always check the base isn't hot before I pick the glass up for the first time...
Not me but a former colleauge, he went on a business trip with our boss at the time, said boss was fairly clumsy and managed to spill a full Bloody Mary over the other chap. He arrived at the client site looking like he'd been shot.
We went out for a drink and sat at the bar, ordered a couple of cocktails which came in long glasses (might have been Mojitos but that's by the by). The drinks arrived, I picked mine up for a sip and the base of the glass fell away from the body of the thing completely, depositing the entire contents directly into my crotch area. Looked for all the world like I'd pissed myself and the now-wife was in stitches at my misfortune.
Took a moment to twig what had happened - when I picked the base up off the ground (surprisingly still in one piece) it was hot to touch. The bar staff must have taken it straight out the glass washer and filled it with ice and various cold liquids. It had separated from the glass very cleanly, I can't back the theory up with any science but I guess probably because of the temperature differential between the hot solid glass base and the very rapidly chilled wall of the glass.
To this day when I get a drink in a pub etc. I always check the base isn't hot before I pick the glass up for the first time...
Not me but a former colleauge, he went on a business trip with our boss at the time, said boss was fairly clumsy and managed to spill a full Bloody Mary over the other chap. He arrived at the client site looking like he'd been shot.
R4PID said:
Full cup of black coffee once on suit trousers and shirt. I managed to walk to a well equipped nearby Tesco pretty much immediately. The assistant in menswear saw my predicament and went out of her way to help, finding me a matching pair of trousers and shirt, ironing them and letting me put them straight on. She even packed up my ruined clothes. I walked back via a dry cleaners and gave them the bag to be laundered. All in all from coffee spill to being back in the office with only a stained carpet as evidence was little more than 20mins.
Actually this incident seriously made me consider carrying spare clothes in the car. Never happened though.
Some years back, during a particularly cold/icy spell, I ran out of diesel thanks to a dodgy fuel gauge. On my way back to my abandoned vehicle with a large watering can full of diesel (the only container I had access to) and a filler, I had to make my way down a relatively steep grass verge. Well, I could have went a different way on a flatter and more grippy tarmac surface, but it would have cost me 10 mins and I was already late - so I opted for the shortcut.
As you may have guessed, I slipped, slid down the muddy verge on my ass and deposited about 4 litres of diesel all over myself, head to toe. I don't know what was worse, the peeps of horns from passing cars as I lay on my back cursing life, or the smell of the diesel. Clothes were beyond washing so had to go in the bin and it took 3-4 showers to totally get rid of that dirty diesel smell from my hair and skin.
As you may have guessed, I slipped, slid down the muddy verge on my ass and deposited about 4 litres of diesel all over myself, head to toe. I don't know what was worse, the peeps of horns from passing cars as I lay on my back cursing life, or the smell of the diesel. Clothes were beyond washing so had to go in the bin and it took 3-4 showers to totally get rid of that dirty diesel smell from my hair and skin.
carguy45 said:
Some years back, during a particularly cold/icy spell, I ran out of diesel thanks to a dodgy fuel gauge. On my way back to my abandoned vehicle with a large watering can full of diesel (the only container I had access to) and a filler, I had to make my way down a relatively steep grass verge. Well, I could have went a different way on a flatter and more grippy tarmac surface, but it would have cost me 10 mins and I was already late - so I opted for the shortcut.
As you may have guessed, I slipped, slid down the muddy verge on my ass and deposited about 4 litres of diesel all over myself, head to toe. I don't know what was worse, the peeps of horns from passing cars as I lay on my back cursing life, or the smell of the diesel. Clothes were beyond washing so had to go in the bin and it took 3-4 showers to totally get rid of that dirty diesel smell from my hair and skin.
Having done something similar involving diesel (auto cut-off on a truck diesel pump didn't cut off) I am very surprised that it 'only' took "3-4 showers" to get rid of the smell. I could still smell remnants of it weeks later after many many washes. It also burns like fAs you may have guessed, I slipped, slid down the muddy verge on my ass and deposited about 4 litres of diesel all over myself, head to toe. I don't know what was worse, the peeps of horns from passing cars as I lay on my back cursing life, or the smell of the diesel. Clothes were beyond washing so had to go in the bin and it took 3-4 showers to totally get rid of that dirty diesel smell from my hair and skin.
k once it's been in contact with your skin for more than 5 mins. You're right about any material or fabric it gets on is only fit for the bin though.Happily cruising along the A303, I thought that as I was going to be early for the presentation I was giving later I’d stop for a greasy breakfast at McDonald’s Sparkford. Breakfast wrap with ketchup and a mocha. Halfway through scoffing the wrap I was suddenly aware of a moist sensation on my chest, and I look down to be greeted by a small puddle of grease right in the middle of my nice shirt. I had failed to notice the holes in the bottom of the box thing the wrap comes in...
fk.
Some 15 minutes later, back driving I thought I’d have a sip of the coffee. Hit a bump at the wrong moment. Grease stain was joined by coffee stain.
Double fk.
Didn’t really have the time or indeed money to stop to buy a new shirt by this point so I delivered the presentation with a coat on.
f
k. Some 15 minutes later, back driving I thought I’d have a sip of the coffee. Hit a bump at the wrong moment. Grease stain was joined by coffee stain.
Double f
k. Didn’t really have the time or indeed money to stop to buy a new shirt by this point so I delivered the presentation with a coat on.
Got a new chair at work last year. Only had it about a week and I tipped a full mug of coffee over at my desk. Most of it hit my jeans (fortunately fairly thick so didn’t burn sensitive things) but a good bit hit the seat. Jeans washed ok but the stain on the chair is a daily reminder.
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