Peer pressure to buy kids phones

Peer pressure to buy kids phones

Author
Discussion

Nickp82

3,165 posts

92 months

Wednesday 14th November 2018
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bulldong said:
The topic is pretty much exhausted anyway with quite clear opinions in all camps.
Was just messing, I should have stuck a wink on it or something!

anonymous-user

53 months

Wednesday 14th November 2018
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Nickp82 said:
bulldong said:
The topic is pretty much exhausted anyway with quite clear opinions in all camps.
Was just messing, I should have stuck a wink on it or something!
Lol

cobra kid

4,908 posts

239 months

Wednesday 14th November 2018
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My 12 yr old daughter has a 2 year old Vodafone own brand smart phone. Does everything she needs and she hasn't one indicated any pressure to upgrade.

PulsatingStar

1,715 posts

247 months

Wednesday 14th November 2018
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bulldong said:
That's hilarious, I remember begging my mum and dad for a pair of Bauer blades. Eventually they caved in and I got them but spread across Christmas and Birthday. I agree though, pester power has always been there but you couldn't buy a pair of Bauer skates on credit, hence not everyone was able to have them just like that.
Next youll be telling me you had Sim Wheels too... cry

jonamv8

3,145 posts

165 months

Wednesday 14th November 2018
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a lot of the kids mentioned in this thread sound like dreadful children.......

Kermit power

28,635 posts

212 months

Wednesday 14th November 2018
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Ziplobb said:
Interesting thread - my wife and I have resisited the kids having phones until they were 14 - my daughter was the last in her class to have one. She bought (with her own money) a hand me down iphone from a friend. She has just upgraded it to another one bought from a friend at school who has just bee given the latest iphone whatever at a cost of around £800. My son has an iphone 6 he bought off a mate at school. I dont see it as my job to splash out on somethig they dont need and i consider it a waste of their time when they use it. My son causes me great annoyance by playing clash of clans but they cant be bothered to set the table for dinner. Both kids do a lot (100/150 miles a week in the summer) cycling so the phone is used to run Strava and I see the value in that for them but otherise its a luxury item.
Whilst I agree with you wholeheartedly in theory, and I do try to keep my kids off their devices on a regular basis, in practice I think it only works if all kids are in the same boat.

They all have WhatsApp groups and the like, and these form the core of their social group. All activities are planned on them, and counterintuitively though it may seem to us, friendships are developed on them. Do you remember making friends on holiday when you were a kid, and promising you'd keep in touch as pen pals once you got home? Did it ever happen? One of my lads still chats daily to kids all over the country whom he met in an activity group on holiday.

I also listen to them playing Xbox. Most adults think it's antisocial because they think of the single player video games of their youth. The reality is that they're playing in groups, and building their friendships whilst doing so. Sure, I'd love to see them out building tree houses or whatever, but in reality, their mates weeks just stay on the Xbox, and mine would lose out.


Vaud

50,291 posts

154 months

Wednesday 14th November 2018
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jonamv8 said:
a lot of the kids mentioned in this thread sound like dreadful children.......
I agree - with boundaries and expectations that the parents have clearly not set.

andyb

139 posts

283 months

Wednesday 14th November 2018
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Vaud said:
boyse7en said:
Her school bans phones completely. Phones must be in bags (not pockets) and must be switched off. Any pupils found holding a phone (on or off, in use or not) will have it confiscated and their parents can collect it from the school on the next Friday after school. It will not be given back to the pupil.
Sounds very sensible.
Our kids' secondary school does this but goes one step further - no smart phones on the school building. Detention if you are found with a phone with a camera. And yes, you can buy 'brick' phones without any smart or camera so they have those for emergencies.

Surprised more schools don't do this. Cuts out a lot of bullying, aggrevation, theft etc. Albeit probably causes minor heart-attack for future pupils when they find out.

Vaud

50,291 posts

154 months

Wednesday 14th November 2018
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andyb said:
Our kids' secondary school does this but goes one step further - no smart phones on the school building. Detention if you are found with a phone with a camera. And yes, you can buy 'brick' phones without any smart or camera so they have those for emergencies.

Surprised more schools don't do this. Cuts out a lot of bullying, aggrevation, theft etc. Albeit probably causes minor heart-attack for future pupils when they find out.
Excellent - I agree!

The rise of sexting, etc is very damaging.

Bullying will always happen, but the ubiquitous nature of devices, the ability to be near anonymous and the range of media that can be uploaded (and manipulated) means that additional controls are definitely warranted.

I have no issue with some kids needed a phone for safety/security/some tracking going to school and on their way home. But no child needs a phone in school.


alorotom

11,908 posts

186 months

Wednesday 14th November 2018
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Vaud said:
jonamv8 said:
a lot of the kids mentioned in this thread sound like dreadful children.......
I agree - with boundaries and expectations that the parents have clearly not set.
Or the children are indeed normal and have the same exhibited skills, social abilities and attributes that you would expect for an 11-17yr old in 2018 and those who believe as above are actually archaic in their approach to boundaries and while they may have been appropriate for their generational upbringing and potentially one further generation, are actually considerably inapproriate and excessive to the current?

jonamv8

3,145 posts

165 months

Wednesday 14th November 2018
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alorotom said:
Vaud said:
jonamv8 said:
a lot of the kids mentioned in this thread sound like dreadful children.......
I agree - with boundaries and expectations that the parents have clearly not set.
Or the children are indeed normal and have the same exhibited skills, social abilities and attributes that you would expect for an 11-17yr old in 2018 and those who believe as above are actually archaic in their approach to boundaries and while they may have been appropriate for their generational upbringing and potentially one further generation, are actually considerably inapproriate and excessive to the current?
Nope they just sound like spoilt brats.

Vaud

50,291 posts

154 months

Wednesday 14th November 2018
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jonamv8 said:
Nope they just sound like spoilt brats.
That was my take...

As noted, I have no issue with kids having a phone of some form. Or even an older iPhone. But it isn't a right, and with it comes responsibilities. And for a new phone, a contribution from pocket money or errands/jobs.

It's key that children learn where money comes from and the effort needed to buy nice things.

Otherwise they will grow up to be entitled spoiled brats.

Ascayman

12,732 posts

215 months

Wednesday 14th November 2018
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I have two girls 8 & 10 both received 2 year old hand me down phones when i did our upgrades.

They were then given the choice if they wanted a sim they had to use their birthday money alternatively they could just use them on wifi as a mini tablet. One chose to buy a sim the other didn't i dont think either regret their decision.

Kermit power

28,635 posts

212 months

Wednesday 14th November 2018
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Vaud said:
I have no issue with some kids needed a phone for safety/security/some tracking going to school and on their way home. But no child needs a phone in school.
You might think so, but it's not uncommon for my eldest two to use their phones in lessons at secondary school.

Both schools (which were Excellent across the board at their last Ofsted inspections and get superb exam results) have strict rules banning the use of phones at all other times on school premises. My son's for example, has a three strikes rule. First infringement = phone confiscated to the end of the day, second = phone confiscated to the end of the week, and a parent has to collect it, third = phone confiscated to the end of the term.

The alternative to letting them use their Smartphones in class under supervision is to have tablets or laptops for every child, rather than just those who don't have a phone they can use. I guess in the ideal world, each child would have a heavily locked down school tablet, but there are a lot of demands on the schools' limited budgets, so in this case I can understand fully why they take the pragmatic approach.

Vaud

50,291 posts

154 months

Wednesday 14th November 2018
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So what happens to the kids whose parents cant afford smart phones?

I like the schools that mandate a reasonably priced uniform and ban designer labels. Anything that reduces the ability to compare.

Kermit power

28,635 posts

212 months

Wednesday 14th November 2018
quotequote all
Vaud said:
So what happens to the kids whose parents cant afford smart phones?

I like the schools that mandate a reasonably priced uniform and ban designer labels. Anything that reduces the ability to compare.
If you're referring to my post, I believe they have some tablets/laptops, but not enough for the whole class. The teachers just distribute them as required.

S11Steve

6,374 posts

183 months

Wednesday 14th November 2018
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Vaud said:
I like the schools that mandate a reasonably priced uniform and ban designer labels. Anything that reduces the ability to compare.
Both our kids schools' both have that policy - except for the small point that they insist on the school logo being embroidered onto all clothing, which can only be obtained from one preferred supplier.....
I'm one of many parents that have said we will ensure our kids are well presented in the right colour uniform, if the school ensure they focus on educational matters, not branding and marketing.




DannyScene

6,596 posts

154 months

Wednesday 14th November 2018
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I got my first mobile aged 10 in 2000, it was a Nokia 5110, the bloody thing is probably in a drawer at home still with battery!

Vaud

50,291 posts

154 months

Wednesday 14th November 2018
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DannyScene said:
I got my first mobile aged 10 in 2000, it was a Nokia 5110, the bloody thing is probably in a drawer at home still with battery!
Being a Nokia it's probably still got 1 bar of battery left...

MYOB

4,767 posts

137 months

Wednesday 14th November 2018
quotequote all
Vaud said:
boyse7en said:
Her school bans phones completely. Phones must be in bags (not pockets) and must be switched off. Any pupils found holding a phone (on or off, in use or not) will have it confiscated and their parents can collect it from the school on the next Friday after school. It will not be given back to the pupil.
Sounds very sensible.
Not to me. I would understand if the phones are confiscated for the rest of the day. But not allowing children to have their phones back until the next Friday could potentially raise legal issues.