Things you have overhead but shouldn't have...
Discussion
alfie2244 said:
My OH worked in a hospital and found about 5k bodybags that nobody could explain....nothing out of the ordinary? except this hospital only did knees, hips etc and lost about 3 patients a year.....you may have provided the answer 
Yes, probably. There are many scenarios from chemical spills, epidemics to terrorism and nuclear attack. IIRC, they store them in central stores and hospitals.How about things youve seen and shouldnt ?
I used to deal with a customer who hated the people i work for, every call I had to listen to him rant on about how useless we were even though the majority of his issues were something he had cocked up. One Friday afternoon, nearly hometime, he calls through complaining about something else not working right. I could see he'd caused the problem but I decided to remote into his computer and show him where he'd gone wrong and how to fix it.
I opened up Google went to type in the search box and started off typing "d". Google instantly starts to show me everything starting with a D that he's searched for, in this case "dirty russian sluts", "dirty teenage sluts" etc.etc.
I paused long enough to ensure he felt awkward. He was strangely pleasant on any subsequent calls.
I used to deal with a customer who hated the people i work for, every call I had to listen to him rant on about how useless we were even though the majority of his issues were something he had cocked up. One Friday afternoon, nearly hometime, he calls through complaining about something else not working right. I could see he'd caused the problem but I decided to remote into his computer and show him where he'd gone wrong and how to fix it.
I opened up Google went to type in the search box and started off typing "d". Google instantly starts to show me everything starting with a D that he's searched for, in this case "dirty russian sluts", "dirty teenage sluts" etc.etc.
I paused long enough to ensure he felt awkward. He was strangely pleasant on any subsequent calls.
ooo000ooo said:
How about things youve seen and shouldnt ?
I was at a BFES boarding school in Germany and had a message for one of the senior masters. To deliver it I had to visit the staffroom. As I reached the staffroom and knocked, I glanced through the open door and saw the master I needed to speak to bent over with another one lighting his fart.
My knock caused both of them to look in my direction - cue two red faces and one six former trying hard to suppress a smirk.
I once had a job interview over the phone, and it was in two parts. The first part was all in French and about an hour long. That went great.
The second part was a chat with several people who were obviously in a room around a table with a speakerphone on it.
A chap with an American accent asks
"Well how would you approach this problem and how would your Java implementation go?" or something like that.
"I'm sorry, I don't know Java, there is nothing in your job spec about Java" I replied.
This went on for about an hour, every now and then this Yank would pop up and ask me something about Java - and my response would be that there was no requirement for Java and I didn't know anything about Java.
Eventually the interview ended and they signed off. Well, they thought they'd signed off.
I carried on listening and the very first thing that was said was the Yank "Well he was f
king useless! Didn't know a thing about Java!"
The second part was a chat with several people who were obviously in a room around a table with a speakerphone on it.
A chap with an American accent asks
"Well how would you approach this problem and how would your Java implementation go?" or something like that.
"I'm sorry, I don't know Java, there is nothing in your job spec about Java" I replied.
This went on for about an hour, every now and then this Yank would pop up and ask me something about Java - and my response would be that there was no requirement for Java and I didn't know anything about Java.
Eventually the interview ended and they signed off. Well, they thought they'd signed off.
I carried on listening and the very first thing that was said was the Yank "Well he was f
king useless! Didn't know a thing about Java!"ooo000ooo said:
How about things youve seen and shouldnt ?
I used to deal with a customer who hated the people i work for, every call I had to listen to him rant on about how useless we were even though the majority of his issues were something he had cocked up. One Friday afternoon, nearly hometime, he calls through complaining about something else not working right. I could see he'd caused the problem but I decided to remote into his computer and show him where he'd gone wrong and how to fix it.
I opened up Google went to type in the search box and started off typing "d". Google instantly starts to show me everything starting with a D that he's searched for, in this case "dirty russian sluts", "dirty teenage sluts" etc.etc.
I paused long enough to ensure he felt awkward. He was strangely pleasant on any subsequent calls.
I used to deal with a customer who hated the people i work for, every call I had to listen to him rant on about how useless we were even though the majority of his issues were something he had cocked up. One Friday afternoon, nearly hometime, he calls through complaining about something else not working right. I could see he'd caused the problem but I decided to remote into his computer and show him where he'd gone wrong and how to fix it.
I opened up Google went to type in the search box and started off typing "d". Google instantly starts to show me everything starting with a D that he's searched for, in this case "dirty russian sluts", "dirty teenage sluts" etc.etc.
I paused long enough to ensure he felt awkward. He was strangely pleasant on any subsequent calls.
Just this week my 80 year old neighbour asked me to go online to get insurance for his brand new car he was buying.
We had been onto one of the comparision websites the previous week to get quotes and had put in his email address.
He came over to mine to retrieve the quotes and I tell him we need to get into his email for them. I am doing all this on my laptop as he is not that quick so I get his email address typed in, he gives me his password which I type in and bingo, I am faced with, I kid you not, 4572 emails in his account still sitting there.
I then have to scroll through about 6 pages of emails, every one from a porn or dirty sex website, until I find the Go compare email confirming all his insurance quotes. Other comparision websites are available.
He is sitting next to looking at the screen while I am doing this looking extremely embarrassed saying "I keep getting these, but I don't know why" while I am trying to act normal and pretend I haven't noticed, thinking he's just had his 80th birthday
We sort out his car insurance, all paid for, he thanks me and then tootles off home. to do what I am not quite sure, leaving me sitting there thinking there's hope for me yet
And the best bit is we got his insurance just over £100 cheaper than his current provider
MWM3 said:
Walking along the street of Camden one Saturday at about 6pm when a bloke turns to his girldfriend and says
"when we get home you're going to Get Your fking Pussy Out"
classy.
I often talk like that to my Mrs when out in public, when there is someone in ear shot who looks like they will offend easily, it's good fun to embarrass her, she's used to it now. I'm a nice guy really, that's why I like acting the part of a d"when we get home you're going to Get Your f
king Pussy Out" classy.
head sometimes 
She'd probably say I was a REALLY good actor.ColinM50 said:
I was 14 and bro was 11, we were with mum and dad driving down to Spain. Such excitement. our first time abroad etc. Mum asked dad if he had any mints, and he said there were some in his camera case in the boot. "Oh, it's OK dad, your camera case is here on the floor next to me" says I and opened the case to be greeted by a couple of packs of Durex. "What are these?" says brother, "they don't look like mints".
You shouldn't have overheard that?littlebasher said:
Family holiday in Majorca in the 80's. Studio apartment so all sleeping in the same room.
After my mum & dad thought we were all asleep, they decided to have some "special time"
Except i wasn't asleep
https://youtu.be/6XVo09I2hSsAfter my mum & dad thought we were all asleep, they decided to have some "special time"
Except i wasn't asleep
MWM3 said:
Walking along the street of Camden one Saturday at about 6pm when a bloke turns to his girldfriend and says
"when we get home you're going to Get Your fking Pussy Out"
classy.
Look I am allergic to cats so was just telling the missus that her kitty has to be put out. If you had carried on behind us you would have heard me say "and I will get the Dyson whilst you do it and make sure there is nothing left in the lounge, don't want my allergies to flare up"......."when we get home you're going to Get Your f
king Pussy Out" classy.
Monkeylegend said:
Just this week my 80 year old neighbour asked me to go online to get insurance for his brand new car he was buying.
We had been onto one of the comparision websites the previous week to get quotes and had put in his email address.
He came over to mine to retrieve the quotes and I tell him we need to get into his email for them. I am doing all this on my laptop as he is not that quick so I get his email address typed in, he gives me his password which I type in and bingo, I am faced with, I kid you not, 4572 emails in his account still sitting there.
I then have to scroll through about 6 pages of emails, every one from a porn or dirty sex website, until I find the Go compare email confirming all his insurance quotes. Other comparision websites are available.
He is sitting next to looking at the screen while I am doing this looking extremely embarrassed saying "I keep getting these, but I don't know why" while I am trying to act normal and pretend I haven't noticed, thinking he's just had his 80th birthday
We sort out his car insurance, all paid for, he thanks me and then tootles off home. to do what I am not quite sure, leaving me sitting there thinking there's hope for me yet
And the best bit is we got his insurance just over £100 cheaper than his current provider
Is this your neighbour? (stolen from the facebook fails thread)
K50 DEL said:
Back in the mid 1990s mobile phones used to use analogue airwaves rather than the digital systems we all know and love now....
These TACS and later ETACS systems could be listened to on a normal scanner so when I bought myself such a device from Tandy I thought it might be interesting to take it to work with me (a local pub) and show some of the regulars.
I used to work for a manufacturer of devices that were great for listing to ETACS calls. One of our sales guys left one with an annoying customer for evaluation and as he was driving away called up the salesman that usually dealt with the annoying customer and stated just what he though of the customer.These TACS and later ETACS systems could be listened to on a normal scanner so when I bought myself such a device from Tandy I thought it might be interesting to take it to work with me (a local pub) and show some of the regulars.
We didn't get the sale.
When I was 12 the father of my mate at school was best mates with my Dad, my mate came to school and told me that he had overheard his Mum and Dad discussing the fact that a young woman at his work had just had a Baby...and my Dad was the father.
Many, many years later I met up with my half sister, she is lovely and reminds me of my Dad a lot.
Many, many years later I met up with my half sister, she is lovely and reminds me of my Dad a lot.
Caddyshack said:
When I was 12 the father of my mate at school was best mates with my Dad, my mate came to school and told me that he had overheard his Mum and Dad discussing the fact that a young woman at his work had just had a Baby...and my Dad was the father.
Many, many years later I met up with my half sister, she is lovely and reminds me of my Dad a lot.
Blimey! Many, many years later I met up with my half sister, she is lovely and reminds me of my Dad a lot.
I was leading a bid for a huge contract, and after about 6 months it was down to a straight fight between my company and a competitor.
I was on my own sat on a train heading back to London from a customer meeting when I overheard a conversation happening on the group of 4 seats behind me. It was the competitiors bid team on the way back from the customer, talking about their pricing strategy and some weaknesses in their proposal they had to circumvent.
Needless to say, we won the business......................
I was on my own sat on a train heading back to London from a customer meeting when I overheard a conversation happening on the group of 4 seats behind me. It was the competitiors bid team on the way back from the customer, talking about their pricing strategy and some weaknesses in their proposal they had to circumvent.
Needless to say, we won the business......................
O/H was on the train to work a few weeks back when she overheard a conversation from nearby seats on the lines of , "There's a new woman on the fourth floor carrying out a restructure and upsetting everyone, they call her 'The Rottweiler".
O/H follows the couple off the train as the conversation continues. They get held up for a moment and she passes with a brief, "Excuse me."
Later that day there's an inter-floor meeting and who should be representing their floor but the two overheard on the train. O/H introduces herself; "I'm the Rottweiler from Floor Four..."
O/H follows the couple off the train as the conversation continues. They get held up for a moment and she passes with a brief, "Excuse me."
Later that day there's an inter-floor meeting and who should be representing their floor but the two overheard on the train. O/H introduces herself; "I'm the Rottweiler from Floor Four..."
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